{"id":15707,"date":"2018-10-04T11:51:36","date_gmt":"2018-10-04T08:51:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=15707"},"modified":"2018-10-04T12:12:16","modified_gmt":"2018-10-04T09:12:16","slug":"dacul-verde-si-spania-curcubeu","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/dacul-verde-si-spania-curcubeu\/","title":{"rendered":"Dacul verde \u015fi Spania curcubeu"},"content":{"rendered":"

Zilele trecute, apare pe peretele meu un dacopat cre\u015ftinopat verde m\u0103r, s\u0103 rag\u0103. Cum adic\u0103 despre ce? Despre singurul subiect valabil pe care-l au dacii verzi zilele astea: nevoia de a modifica o Constitu\u0163ie care era ok \u015fi p\u00e2n\u0103 acum, pentru a garanta c\u0103 nu ne invadeaz\u0103 nemernicii \u0103ia de p*****i \u015fi nu ne transform\u0103 pe to\u0163i \u00een gay, cam cum o face armata de wights a Regelui Nop\u0163ii. Pentru c\u0103, se \u015ftie, a\u015fa func\u0163ioneaz\u0103 homosexualitatea: de cum pune un gay m\u00e2na – vorba vine, m\u00e2na – pe tine, subit \u00eencepi s\u0103 sufli baloane colorate pe anus.<\/p>\n

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Carevas\u0103zic\u0103, cretinul are tot dreptul s\u0103 se masturbeze la chinurile groaznice ale altora (ocaua mare), dar totodat\u0103, s\u0103 se simt\u0103 profund r\u0103nit rectal de agresivitatea cu care i se r\u0103spunde (ocaua mic\u0103). Se nume\u015fte monopol pe agresivitate, e o licen\u0163\u0103 roz cu dungi \u015fi se elibereaz\u0103 \u00een exclusivitate dacilor verzi. Zice c\u0103:<\/p>\n

“Subsemnatul XY, dac verde, de\u0163in exclusivitate pe a b\u00e2ntui colo \u015fi colo \u015fi a \u00eempro\u015fca ur\u0103 pe oameni care nu-mi datoreaz\u0103 nimic. Totodat\u0103, prezentul act asigur\u0103 scutire integral\u0103 de orice reac\u0163ii pe care atitudinea mea le-ar putea trezi \u00een oameni \u015fi, prin urmare, de\u0163in exclusivitate pe a m\u0103 v\u0103ic\u0103ri c\u0103 nu sunt tratat ca un rege august”.<\/p>\n

Dup\u0103 cum se vede, eu am avut o singur\u0103 obiec\u0163ie de facto: animala locuia la Madrid. Madrid, Spania, nu c\u00e2rciuma Madrid, V\u0103sc\u0103u\u0163ii de Deal. Carevas\u0103zic\u0103, valorile lui verzi, tradi\u0163ionale, neao\u015fe nu \u00ee\u015fi g\u0103siser\u0103 o modalitate decent\u0103 de supravie\u0163uire \u00een patria mum\u0103 verde, tradi\u0163ional\u0103 \u015fi neao\u015f\u0103, \u015fi plecaser\u0103 la produs \u00eentr-o \u0163ar\u0103 100% tolerant\u0103, unde gay-ii danseaz\u0103 pe str\u0103zi, se \u00eensoar\u0103, adopt\u0103 copii, divor\u0163eaz\u0103, \u015fi se mai \u00eensoar\u0103 o dat\u0103, dac\u0103 a\u015fa le pofte\u015fte inimioara.<\/p>\n

De c\u00e2te ori vine un rom\u00e2na\u015f \u00een care se umfl\u0103 ortodoxia de zici c\u0103 plesne\u015fte, dar care duce o via\u0163\u0103 perfect decent\u0103 \u00eentr-o \u0163ar\u0103 curcubeu, de unde nici prin minte nu-i trece s\u0103 plece, detectorul meu de ipocrizie face biiip – biiip – biiip. \u00cen sensul c\u0103: la Madrid nu merge s\u0103 \u0163ipi la Miguel \u015fi Juan s\u0103 nu se pupe pe strad\u0103, c\u0103 ce le explici copiilor t\u0103i. La Madrid, strada e \u00een egal\u0103 m\u0103sur\u0103 a lui Miguel, a lui Juan \u015fi a ta. Iar dac\u0103 nu-\u0163i convine de Miguel \u015fi de Juan, ai op\u0163iunea s\u0103 te ui\u0163i \u00een alt\u0103 direc\u0163ie \u015fi s\u0103-\u0163i \u0163ii cotcod\u0103ceala pentru tine.<\/p>\n

Dar dac\u0103 rom\u00e2na\u015ful e bine mersi oplo\u015fit \u00een Madrid, se pare c\u0103 Miguel \u015fi Juan nu sunt \u00een a\u015fa mare m\u0103sur\u0103 o problem\u0103, precum \u00eencearc\u0103 el s\u0103 pretind\u0103. Altfel ar pleca.<\/p>\n

Eu ur\u0103sc dictatura cu sete. Nu a\u015f locui \u00een Rusia nici m\u0103car o zi. Nici dac\u0103 mi s-ar oferi un post pl\u0103tit cu 10.000 de euro pe lun\u0103? Nici. Nici dac\u0103 mi s-ar oferi un palat cu\u00a0 turl\u0103 \u00een centru? Nici. Nici dac\u0103…? Nici. M-ar sufoca o via\u0163\u0103 tr\u0103it\u0103 dup\u0103 principii \u00een care nu m\u0103 reg\u0103sesc, de aceea a\u015f prefera s\u0103 cer\u015fesc la New York, dec\u00e2t s\u0103 huzuresc \u00een Moscova.<\/p>\n

De aceea, to\u0163i rom\u00e2na\u015fii \u0103\u015ftia care s-au oplo\u015fit \u00een \u0163\u0103ri democrate \u015fi tolerante, dar care tr\u00e2mbi\u0163eaz\u0103 ortodoxie necru\u0163\u0103toare c\u0103tre cas\u0103, mi se par afecta\u0163i de ipocrizie \u00een ultimul hal. Mar\u015f \u00een p***a m\u0103-tii \u00een satul natal, unde ai ortodoxie necru\u0163\u0103toare.<\/p>\n

Vai, dar cum? Avem principii doar c\u00e2t timp avem confort material \u015fi ma\u0163ul plin?<\/p>\n

N\u0163-n\u0163.<\/p>\n

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Carevas\u0103zic\u0103, arunc\u0103m \u00een joc \u015fi abera\u0163ia aia grosolan\u0103, cu “protejatul copiilor”. Al copiilor pe care statul rom\u00e2n ortodox verde \u00eei protejeaz\u0103 momentan concediind 4000 de cadre didactice c\u0103rora nu le poate pl\u0103ti salariile, de vreme ce e mai important s\u0103 finan\u0163\u0103m referendumuri ale urii, dec\u00e2t s\u0103 le oferim educa\u0163ie.<\/p>\n

Al copiilor pe care eroul poster al ac\u0163iunii, Liviu Dragnea, \u00eei protejeaz\u0103 fur\u00e2ndu-le banii de alimente \u015fi \u00eembr\u0103c\u0103minte.<\/p>\n

Al copiilor care, \u00een case de copii, \u00eendur\u0103 abuzuri \u015fi neglijen\u0163\u0103 c\u00e2t se poate de straight.<\/p>\n

Dar s\u0103 vedem ce copii a protejat concret l\u0103tura asta cu ochi dacopat\u0103? Exact c\u00e2\u0163i credea\u0163i.<\/p>\n

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C***tul cu ochi protejeaz\u0103 copii cert\u00e2ndu-m\u0103 pe mine c\u0103 nu adopt. E cea mai gratis \u015fi lipsit\u0103 de responsabilitate metod\u0103 de a proteja copii. \u0162ipatul la al\u0163ii.<\/p>\n

Dar bomba abia urmeaz\u0103 s\u0103 vin\u0103, stima\u0163i ascult\u0103tori. Twistul care ne va l\u0103sa pe to\u0163i cu gura c\u0103scat\u0103.<\/p>\n

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S\u0103 l\u0103s\u0103m restul comentariului, unde jarteaua l\u0103tra la mine a ur\u0103 \u015fi insinua toate ororile p\u0103m\u00e2ntului, \u015fi s\u0103 ne minun\u0103m doar de c\u00e2t de frumos \u00ee\u015fi combate singur prostia \u00een partea pe care am \u00eencadrat-o cu ro\u015fu.<\/p>\n

Deci, cum?<\/p>\n

Dac\u0103 o \u0163ar\u0103 a acceptat c\u0103s\u0103toria \u00eentre persoane gay nu \u00eenseamn\u0103 c\u0103 to\u0163i cei de acolo sunt gay \u015fi nici c\u0103 devin gay prin diviziune celular\u0103? Lol, lol, lol.<\/p>\n

Mul\u0163umim, urm\u0103torul.<\/p>\n

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***<\/p>\n

\u00ce\u0163i plac textele Trollywood? Po\u0163i sus\u0163ine \u015fi tu proiectul.<\/p>\n

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***
\nVrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe Twitter<\/a><\/strong> \u015fi Instagram<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Zilele trecute, apare pe peretele meu un dacopat cre\u015ftinopat verde m\u0103r, s\u0103 rag\u0103. Cum adic\u0103 despre ce? Despre singurul subiect valabil pe care-l au...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":14769,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-15707","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/fart.jpg?fit=600%2C400&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15707","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=15707"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15707\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":15715,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15707\/revisions\/15715"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/14769"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=15707"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=15707"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=15707"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}