{"id":15810,"date":"2018-10-17T11:55:39","date_gmt":"2018-10-17T08:55:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=15810"},"modified":"2018-10-17T11:55:39","modified_gmt":"2018-10-17T08:55:39","slug":"mitul-independentei-pisicilor","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/mitul-independentei-pisicilor\/","title":{"rendered":"Mitul independen\u0163ei pisicilor"},"content":{"rendered":"

Azi, m-am trezit cu motan pe fa\u0163\u0103. Pur \u015fi simplu, a\u015fa i se pusese lui pata. S\u0103 doarm\u0103 cu b\u0103rbia spijinit\u0103 de nasul meu.<\/p>\n

\u015ei mi-am amintit cli\u015feul \u0103la pe care oamenii, mai ales pisicarii, ador\u0103 s\u0103-l repete: Pisicile sunt libere, independente, de sine st\u0103t\u0103toare, nu au st\u0103p\u00e2n.<\/p>\n

E adev\u0103rat, pisicile nu te \u00eenconjoar\u0103 de aten\u0163ia disperat\u0103, respira\u0163ia \u00eentret\u0103iat\u0103, insisten\u0163a \u00een a te iubi a unui c\u00e2ine. Pe mine, recunosc, c\u00e2inele mamei m\u0103 obose\u015fte fizic \u015fi intelectual. C\u00e2inele st\u0103 cu ochii fic\u015fi pe tine, \u015fi cum faci o mi\u015fcare, sare \u00een sus, preg\u0103tit s\u0103 plece la v\u00e2n\u0103toare de plizno\u0163i. \u00centreaga lui existen\u0163\u0103 e o p\u00e2nd\u0103 interminabil\u0103 \u00een a\u015fteptarea ta, iar mie chestia asta \u00eemi vampirizeaz\u0103 chakrele.<\/p>\n

Pisica n-o s\u0103 sar\u0103 la piciorul t\u0103u dac\u0103 o strigi. De fapt, n-o s\u0103 sar\u0103 deloc. O s\u0103 ridice doar un v\u00e2rf de urechiu\u015f\u0103 \u00een direc\u0163ia ta, s\u0103 vad\u0103 ce vrei \u015fi dac\u0103 meri\u0163i deranjul. Sigur, dac\u0103 adaugi \u015fi termenul magic “papa”, o s\u0103 r\u0103spund\u0103 cu un mieunat anticipativ. Gen: “Pune tu papa \u00een farfurie, \u015fi c\u00e2nd v\u0103d c\u0103 you mean actual business, m\u0103 mobilizez \u015fi eu.”<\/p>\n

Apoi, din c\u00e2nd \u00een c\u00e2nd, le apuc\u0103 dragostea. C\u00e2nd vrea mu\u015fchiul lor, nu c\u00e2nd vrea mu\u015fchiul t\u0103u. \u015ei \u0163i se urc\u0103 \u00een cap, \u015fi \u00eencep s\u0103 te pupe pe cre\u015ftet. Sau \u0163i se lungesc pe tastatura de la laptop. Sau \u00ee\u0163i parcheaz\u0103 jum\u0103tatea inferioar\u0103 a corpului \u00een poal\u0103, s\u0103 le \u00eenc\u0103lze\u015fti fundule\u0163ul. Sau \u00ee\u015fi bag\u0103 capul la subsuoara ta, care are un format perfect pentru un cap de pisic\u0103, \u00een caz c\u0103 nu \u015ftia\u0163i.<\/p>\n

\u00cencearc\u0103 s\u0103 le pui jos \u00een astfel de momente, \u015fi o s\u0103 scoat\u0103 cele mai cutremur\u0103toare sunete din istoria omenirii. Tragedie antic\u0103.<\/p>\n

\u00cen realitate, pisicile sunt la fel de dependente de dragostea st\u0103p\u00e2nului lor, cum sunt c\u00e2inii.<\/p>\n

Verile, c\u00e2nd c\u0103ldura \u00een Bucure\u015fti e insuportabil\u0103, \u00eel duc pe Pulic\u0103 la mama, unde e munte \u015fi r\u0103coare. Dar eu vara mai am diverse colabor\u0103ri prin Bucure\u015fti. \u015ei sun acas\u0103, \u015fi-l cer pe Pulic\u0103 la telefon.<\/p>\n

-Ce faci, iubitule?<\/p>\n

-Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaau!<\/p>\n

Acel “maaaau” sf\u0103r\u00e2m\u0103 \u015fi pietrele. Doina de jale ca gen muzical e cacamaca. Chit c\u0103 la mama are m\u00e2ncare g\u0103tit\u0103, nisip perpetuu curat \u015fi r\u0103sf\u0103\u0163. Dar nimeni nu face o declara\u0163ie de dor mai conving\u0103toare ca motanul meu c\u00e2nd bag\u0103 un belting lung \u015fi dureros la telefon.<\/p>\n

-A\u015fa url\u0103 serile, \u00eemi zice mama. Nu \u015ftiu ce s\u0103-i dau, cum s\u0103 m\u0103 joc cu el, s\u0103-i treac\u0103.<\/p>\n

Apoi vin eu acas\u0103, \u015fi Pulic\u0103 m\u0103 h\u00e2s\u00e2ie, \u015fi m\u0103 ignor\u0103 jum\u0103tate de or\u0103, dup\u0103 care \u00eemi sare \u00een bra\u0163e \u015fi \u00eencepe s\u0103 \u00eemi mestece o ureche. Reac\u0163ie aproape uman\u0103: “Unde mor\u0163ii t\u0103i ai fost, nebuna dracului? Pleac\u0103, s\u0103 nu te v\u0103d… Vino \u00eencoace!”.<\/p>\n

Alt\u0103dat\u0103, a reu\u015fit s\u0103 mi se strecoare printre picioare c\u00e2nd am plecat eu la cump\u0103r\u0103turi. Am \u00eencuiat u\u015fa, am luat liftul \u015fi m-am dus la treburi, convins\u0103 c\u0103 pisica e bine mersi \u00een cas\u0103. \u015ei aici dau shoutout vecinilor mei care au fost oameni de comitet \u015fi nu l-au gonit.<\/p>\n

C\u00e2nd ajung \u00eenapoi, \u00eenc\u0103 de la parter aud un bocet. Nu exagerez, bocet lung, sf\u00e2\u015fietor, de jale. De zb\u00e2rn\u00e2iau ferestrele. Cineva tortura o pisic\u0103 undeva.<\/p>\n

Iau liftul, ajung la etajul meu. Bocetul de jale se \u00eente\u0163e\u015fte cvadruplu.<\/p>\n

\u015ei-l v\u0103d pe Pulic\u0103 al meu \u00eencovrigat pe pre\u015f, url\u00e2nd c\u00e2t \u00eel \u0163inea suava lui f\u0103ptur\u0103. Dar ce m-a surprins a fost cum ar\u0103ta. Pisica asta frumoas\u0103, zeiasc\u0103, mereu relaxat\u0103, avea o f\u0103\u0163uc\u0103 total schimonosit\u0103 de durere. Parc\u0103 era alt\u0103 pisic\u0103. Parc\u0103 era unicul supravie\u0163uitor la World War Z, \u015fi-\u015fi v\u0103zuse tot neamul rupt buc\u0103\u0163i de zombi. “Devastat” era cuv\u00e2ntul.<\/p>\n

Am pus plasele jos, \u015fi l-am luat \u00een bra\u0163e. Mi-a intrat total \u00een c\u0103ma\u015f\u0103. Nu l-a\u015f fi putut desprinde nici cu macaraua.<\/p>\n

-P\u0103i bine, m\u0103i, prostule, cum de e\u015fti afar\u0103? Ai crezut c\u0103 e\u015fti \u015fmecher \u015fi-ai fugit, nu-i a\u015fa?<\/p>\n

Comparativ cu c\u00e2inii, pisicile au o atitudine mult mai cool, mult mai “sunt regina acestui castel”, iar asta creeaz\u0103 ILUZIA DE independen\u0163\u0103. Realitatea e c\u0103 te iubesc cu exact aceea\u015fi intensitate \u015fi sufer\u0103 dup\u0103 tine de se pr\u0103p\u0103desc, c\u00e2nd nu te au.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

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\u00ce\u0163i plac textele Trollywood? Po\u0163i sus\u0163ine \u015fi tu proiectul.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

***
\nVrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe Twitter<\/a><\/strong> \u015fi Instagram<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Azi, m-am trezit cu motan pe fa\u0163\u0103. Pur \u015fi simplu, a\u015fa i se pusese lui pata. S\u0103 doarm\u0103 cu b\u0103rbia spijinit\u0103 de nasul meu....<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":15180,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-15810","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/06\/black-cats-e1529917009538.jpg?fit=279%2C257&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15810","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=15810"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15810\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":15811,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15810\/revisions\/15811"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/15180"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=15810"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=15810"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=15810"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}