{"id":16001,"date":"2018-11-12T13:17:44","date_gmt":"2018-11-12T10:17:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=16001"},"modified":"2018-11-12T13:17:44","modified_gmt":"2018-11-12T10:17:44","slug":"posta-redactiei-amenintata-si-lovita-de-un-unchi","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/posta-redactiei-amenintata-si-lovita-de-un-unchi\/","title":{"rendered":"Po\u0219ta redac\u021biei: Amenin\u021bat\u0103 \u0219i lovit\u0103 de un unchi"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Intro: Periodic, oferim iubire cititorului nostru. Nu, Gicu, nu sub form\u0103 de sex, stai jos. \u00cen schimb, lu\u0103m o dram\u0103 personal\u0103 pe care mi-o trimite\u0163i pe mail, pe birou@lorenalupu.com, \u015fi g\u0103sim o solu\u0163ie, pe care oricum n-o ve\u0163i urma, dar m\u0103car ne distr\u0103m.<br \/>\n\u015ei misiva:<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ast\u0103zi am comemorat un an de c\u00e2nd bunicul meu nu mai este printre noi. Un eveniment trist. \u015ei plin de nostalgie. A\u015fa se voia a fi. Dar am avut parte de o surpriz\u0103 nepl\u0103cut\u0103 \u015fi dureroas\u0103. O alt\u0103 lec\u021bie dur\u0103 din partea vie\u021bii. Aceea care adevere\u015fte vechea zical\u0103 cu privire la str\u0103ini \u015fi rude.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Am fost umilit\u0103, \u00eenjurat\u0103 de mor\u021bi, amenin\u021bat\u0103 \u015fi lovit\u0103 de c\u0103tre un unchi. Unchi care mi-a inspirat team\u0103 \u00eenc\u0103 de pe vremea \u00een care eram o copil\u0103. Un om care nu \u015ftie s\u0103 se impun\u0103 altfel dec\u00e2t folosindu-se de violen\u021b\u0103 fizic\u0103 \u015fi verbal\u0103. Motivul a fost o a\u015fa-zis\u0103 insult\u0103 din partea mea c\u0103tre el din trecut, insult\u0103 pentru care \u00eei prezentasem scuze dorind s\u0103 aplanez conflictul.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Acest individ a preferat \u00eens\u0103 s\u0103 \u00eemi vorbeasc\u0103 ur\u00e2t, s\u0103 se foloseasc\u0103 de for\u021ba lui ca \u015fi b\u0103rbat, s\u0103 m\u0103 trateze ca pe un gunoi, s\u0103 \u00eemi vorbeasc\u0103 de r\u0103u p\u0103rin\u021bii, dorindu-le tot ce e mai r\u0103u, \u015ftiind c\u0103 tat\u0103l meu a suferit un AVC acum ceva timp,\u00a0 \u00een loc s\u0103 discut\u0103m calm \u015fi civilizat \u015fi s\u0103 rezolv\u0103m situa\u021bia ca doi adul\u021bi dota\u021bi cu judecat\u0103 ra\u021bional\u0103. Toate acestea sub privirile uimite ale celorlal\u021bi membri ai familiei prezen\u021bi \u00een acel moment \u00een curtea bunicii mele.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Aceast\u0103 situa\u021bie mi-a redeschis r\u0103ni vechi. Mi-a amintit cine am fost \u015fi de unde vin. Mi-a amintit de faptul c\u0103 nu am fost un copil iubit. Mi-a amintit c\u0103 \u00een ochii tuturor am fost (\u015fi sunt) o paria. Mi-a amintit de momentele \u00een care pl\u00e2ngeam de durere \u015fi frustrare \u015fi eram umilit\u0103 \u015fi batjocorit\u0103. De singur\u0103tatea auto-impus\u0103. De faptul c\u0103 mereu am fost judecat\u0103 si criticat\u0103 la s\u00e2nge de c\u0103tre familie, de\u015fi niciodat\u0103 nu am cerut \u015fi nu am primit vreun ajutor pentru mine, personal. Mi-am amintit de mama mea care a suferit \u015fi s-a \u00eendep\u0103rtat de ei pentru c\u0103 nu e u\u015for s\u0103 te \u015ftii exclus din propria ta familie, familie \u00een care ai fost format ca \u015fi un om nesigur \u015fi din cauza c\u0103reia via\u021ba ta a fost un continuu calvar.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Aceast\u0103 situa\u021bie mi-a zdruncinat din nou \u00eencrederea \u00een oameni. \u00cencredere pe zi ce trece mai pu\u021bin\u0103. De unde at\u00e2t de mult\u0103 r\u0103utate \u00eentr-un simplu om? Unde este inteligen\u021ba? Unde sunt principiile, caracterul, curajul? Doar un om primitiv \u015fi la\u015f amenin\u021b\u0103, insult\u0103 \u015fi love\u015fte o femeie, voind s\u0103-\u015fi impun\u0103 voin\u021ba.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>M\u0103 simt sc\u00e2rbit\u0103, \u015focat\u0103 \u015fi m\u0103 tem. De el. De faptul c\u0103 m\u0103 va lovi pe strad\u0103 \u00een plin\u0103 zi \u015fi c\u0103 nimeni nu va interveni. De aceea voi lua m\u0103suri legale \u00eempotriva lui.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>M\u0103 cuprinde o stare de anxietate \u015fi mizantropie. Oamenii sunt ni\u015fte bestii, iar eu m\u0103 pricep tot mai pu\u021bin s\u0103 fac diferen\u021ba \u00eentre ei.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Drag\u0103 X.,<\/p>\n<p>Condolean\u021be pentru pierderea bunicului t\u0103u. \u0218tiu c\u00e2t de dureros e c\u00e2nd dispar oameni care \u021bi-au f\u0103cut copil\u0103ria frumoas\u0103. E ca \u0219i cum ar muri o p\u0103rticic\u0103 din tine cu ei.<\/p>\n<p>\u00cen context, brutalitatea bovinei despre care vorbe\u0219ti este cu at\u00e2t mai oribil\u0103, mai f\u0103r\u0103 sens \u0219i mai dezgust\u0103toare, iar t\u0103cerea complice a celorlal\u021bi, cu at\u00e2t mai condamnabil\u0103.<\/p>\n<p>La mine \u00een cas\u0103, A nu l-ar putea bate pe B (indiferent dac\u0103 A \u0219i B sunt familie, prieteni sau simpli trec\u0103tori pe acolo) dec\u00e2t peste cadavrul meu. Este vorba de respectul datorat oamenilor care \u00ee\u021bi trec pragul.<\/p>\n<p>Sunt pu\u021bine lucruri care fac o familie o familie, \u0219i le-a\u0219 enumera acum: iubirea fiec\u0103ruia fa\u021b\u0103 de ceilal\u021bi, sentimentul c\u0103 e\u0219ti protejat, siguran\u021ba fizic\u0103 \u0219i emo\u021bional\u0103. Dac\u0103 le avem pe astea, avem o familie. Dac\u0103 nu le avem, avem o adun\u0103tur\u0103 oarecare de indivizi.<\/p>\n<p>Cretinul nu avea de ce s\u0103 dea \u00een tine, nici m\u0103car dac\u0103-l \u00eenjurai de m\u0103-sa, c\u0103 iat\u0103 ce e\u0219ec fulminant a avut m\u0103-sa \u00een a-l educa. Dar mai ales dac\u0103 tu \u00ee\u021bi prezentai scuzele, NU avea un motiv s\u0103 te brutalizeze. Vezi pe cine din familie po\u021bi convinge s\u0103-\u021bi fie martor \u0219i reclam\u0103-l la poli\u021bie. \u0218i dac\u0103 nu po\u021bi pe nimeni, ne e clar \u0219i mie, \u0219i \u021bie, c\u0103 aia nu e o familie, ci ni\u0219te oameni care sunt \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103tor rude.<\/p>\n<p>Mizeriile astea umane cu accese de violen\u021b\u0103 \u00ee\u0219i permit acest comportament dintr-un singur motiv: convingerea c\u0103 nu vor exista consecin\u021be, pentru c\u0103 victima e suficient de slab\u0103 \u0219i de intimidat\u0103 s\u0103 nu ia ac\u021biune concret\u0103. Dar legea e de partea ta. Reclam\u0103-l. Cere ordin de restric\u021bie. \u0218i, ce e mai important: nu-\u021bi da \u021bie \u00eens\u0103\u021bi voie s\u0103-\u021bi fie fric\u0103 de jegos. Repet\u0103-\u021bi cu hot\u0103r\u00e2re c\u0103 dac\u0103 te mai atinge, \u00eei rupi m\u00e2na din cot.<\/p>\n<p>Via\u021ba merit\u0103 tr\u0103it\u0103 \u00eentr-un singur mod: \u00een echilibru. Genul de oameni ca individul acesta sau ca familiile care nu sunt al\u0103turi de tine nu sunt factori de echilibru, ci de umilin\u021b\u0103 \u0219i de durere. Rupe leg\u0103tura, \u0219i dac\u0103 te \u00eentreab\u0103 de ce, le spui: v-a pl\u0103cut s\u0103 v\u0103 uita\u021bi cum sunt b\u0103tut\u0103 \u0219i s\u0103 nu face\u021bi nimic? Ce rahat de familie sunte\u021bi voi?<\/p>\n<p>\u0218i acum, s\u0103 atingem ultimul punct care m\u0103 \u00eengrijoreaz\u0103 \u00een mailul t\u0103u: faptul c\u0103, dac\u0103 un singur prost e violent cu tine, tu \u00ee\u021bi pierzi subit \u00eencrederea \u00een \u00eentreaga omenire. Nu \u00eentreaga omenire te-a lovit, ci acel singur prost. \u0218i a f\u0103cut-o taman pentru c\u0103 e o mizerie de om.<\/p>\n<p>Nu-i permite prostului s\u0103 te afecteze la scar\u0103 macro. Dac\u0103 faci asta, el a \u00eenvins la mai multe niveluri, \u0219i exact acesta a fost scopul lui.<\/p>\n<p>Oameni pro\u0219ti \u0219i r\u0103i au r\u0103nit oameni f\u0103r\u0103 ap\u0103rare din cele mai vechi timpuri. Pentru prostul r\u0103u, violen\u021ba e un hobby. Dar omul afectat de violen\u021ba prostului poate alege s\u0103 transforme asta \u00een subiectul principal al vie\u021bii lui, sau poate s\u0103-\u0219i spun\u0103 c\u0103 nu \u00eel face pe el un Pumnii-Mei-Minte-Nu-Are, \u0219i c\u0103 \u00een economia general\u0103 a vie\u021bii lui, prostul e un simplu accident nefericit, cam ca atunci c\u00e2nd te \u00eempiedici \u0219i cazi accidental \u00eentr-o fecal\u0103 care se l\u0103f\u0103ia pe trotuar.<\/p>\n<p>Recapitul\u00e2nd:<\/p>\n<p>-\u00eel reclami pe idiot la poli\u021bie, \u0219i iei toate m\u0103surile legale s\u0103 nu se mai repete. Inclusiv \u00ee\u021bi informezi prietenii, colegii, persoanele apropiate c\u0103 ai de a face cu un jeg violent \u0219i te temi pentru siguran\u021ba ta.<\/p>\n<p>-faci o discu\u021bie l\u0103muritoare cu membrii familiei, dac\u0103 e normal s\u0103 fii b\u0103tut\u0103 \u0219i ei s\u0103 stea, s\u0103 se uite ca la cinematograf. \u0218i dac\u0103 nu li se pare nimic \u00een neregul\u0103, te duci acas\u0103, le \u0219tergi numerele de telefon din mobil \u0219i ui\u021bi c\u0103 exist\u0103.<\/p>\n<p>-con\u0219tientizezi tu, cu tine, c\u0103 mentalitatea de victim\u0103 nu face dec\u00e2t s\u0103-i dea animalului mai mult\u0103 putere \u0219i control asupra ta, \u0219i te apuci, tu cu tine, sau cu un psiholog, s\u0103-\u021bi construie\u0219ti o mentalitate de om liber.<\/p>\n<p>-poate iei \u00een considerare posibilitatea de a c\u0103uta un job \u00een alt ora\u0219, s\u0103 iei distan\u021b\u0103 fizic\u0103 de oamenii care te-au traumatizat.<\/p>\n<p>Un om liber pe interior e liber \u0219i \u00een \u00eenchisoarea Alcatraz. Un om liber \u0219tie c\u0103 violen\u021ba \u0219i brutalitatea sunt bagajul agresorului, nu al lui, \u0219i \u00eencaseaz\u0103 orice tentativ\u0103 de abuz cu un mar\u0219 la cote\u021b pe care poate c\u0103 nu \u00eel roste\u0219te de fiecare dat\u0103, dar \u00eel transmite.<\/p>\n<p>Fii un om liber.<\/p>\n<p>Sper c\u0103 \u0163i-am fost util\u0103,<br \/>\nLorena.<\/p>\n<p>***<\/p>\n<p>\u00ce\u0163i plac textele Trollywood? Po\u0163i sus\u0163ine \u015fi tu proiectul.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/paypal.me\/Trollywood\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-medium wp-image-14577\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea-300x300.jpg?resize=300%2C300\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=300%2C300&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=150%2C150&amp;ssl=1 150w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=768%2C768&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=160%2C160&amp;ssl=1 160w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=320%2C320&amp;ssl=1 320w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=184%2C184&amp;ssl=1 184w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=600%2C600&amp;ssl=1 600w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=100%2C100&amp;ssl=1 100w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?w=931&amp;ssl=1 931w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>***<br \/>\nVrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe <a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/lorenaalmighty\/\"><strong>Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe <strong><a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/lorenalupu\">Twitter<\/a><\/strong> \u015fi <strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/lorena.lup\/\">Instagram<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Intro: Periodic, oferim iubire cititorului nostru. Nu, Gicu, nu sub form\u0103 de sex, stai jos. \u00cen schimb, lu\u0103m o dram\u0103 personal\u0103 pe care mi-o&#46;&#46;&#46;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":13715,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-16001","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/mesaj.jpg?fit=1280%2C944&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16001","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=16001"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16001\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":16003,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16001\/revisions\/16003"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/13715"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=16001"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=16001"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=16001"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}