\u00centre timp, m-am educat c\u0103 gelozia \u0219i invidia sunt neproductive \u0219i \u00ee\u021bi d\u0103uneaz\u0103 \u00een primul r\u00e2nd \u021bie, dar hei, la patru ani nu m\u0103 avertizase nimeni ce ilustr\u0103 mooooooooie vine o dat\u0103 cu na\u0219terea \u0103luia mai mic.<\/p>\n
Subit, toat\u0103 lumea e atent\u0103 numai la el, de zici c\u0103 e concert Metallica \u00een fiecare zi, to\u021bi se mir\u0103 c\u00e2t e de adorabil, dr\u0103g\u0103la\u0219, pufos \u0219i dulce ca o zambil\u0103, \u0219i tu devii brusc invizibil.<\/p>\n
Serios, chiar le stai \u00een drum.<\/p>\n
Posibil ai fost \u0219i tu la fel de lugu-lugu-puiu-mic-frumos \u00een stadiul t\u0103u de bebelu\u0219, dar partea aia nu s-a fixat \u00een memorie. \u00cen schimb, faptul c\u0103 te-a p\u0103r\u0103sit brusc toat\u0103 lumea, oooo, da.<\/p>\n
R\u0103m\u00e2i singur ca Britney Spears dup\u0103 anul 2005.<\/p>\n
Nimeni, dar nimeni, p\u0103rin\u021bi, rude, prieteni de familie, vecini, nu are chef de tine. E\u0219ti retrogradat \u00een divizia C, undeva \u00eentre trusa de unelte \u0219i hainele de ocazie, pe care nu le purt\u0103m niciodat\u0103.<\/p>\n
Bonus de frustrare: Dac\u0103 te \u00eentreab\u0103 cineva ceva, e, de obicei, c\u00e2t de m\u00e2ndru e\u0219ti c\u0103 ai un fr\u0103\u021bior \u0219i c\u00e2t de mult \u00eel iube\u0219ti. \u0218i nu, “m\u0103 simt cumplit de singur, propun s\u0103-l b\u0103g\u0103m de unde l-am scos” nu e o op\u0163iune. O s\u0103 te fac\u0103 s\u0103 pari un monstru f\u0103r\u0103 inim\u0103.<\/p>\n
“\u015ei eu exist!!!” ar striga orice frate mai mare p\u0103r\u0103sit de familie, singur \u015fi neconsolat. “Vezi cum te por\u0163i, c\u0103 avem deja \u00eenlocuitor \u015fi e mai dr\u0103g\u0103la\u015f dec\u00e2t tine”, \u00eei semnalizeaz\u0103 universul.<\/p>\n
2. Trebuie s\u0103 fii un exemplu.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n Nu \u015ftiu cum sunt alte familii, dar \u00een a noastr\u0103, morala la adresa mea era mereu “e\u015fti mai mare, trebuie s\u0103 fii mai de\u015fteapt\u0103, s\u0103 fii un exemplu pentru frati-tu”.<\/p>\n Bine, dar am cinci ani.<\/p>\n “V\u00e2rsta nu e o scuz\u0103”.<\/p>\n Concret, toat\u0103 lumea se a\u015fteapt\u0103 de la fratele mai mare s\u0103 formeze o barb\u0103 de \u00een\u0163elept de la v\u00e2rste la care \u00eenc\u0103 etaleaz\u0103 din\u0163i de lapte. \u00centregul destin al \u0103luia mic e pe umerii lui. Dac\u0103 el nu e un exemplu, \u0103la micu’ va r\u0103t\u0103ci pe calea pierzaniei, \u015fi va muri \u00een \u015fan\u0163, \u00een urma unei supradoze de heroin\u0103, \u015fi totul va fi doar din vina ta, c\u0103 ai fost un exemplu de cacao.<\/p>\n Pe de alt\u0103 parte, \u015fi asta cu “v\u00e2rsta nu e o scuz\u0103” era de un dublu standard crunt. C\u00e2nd subiectul zilei era spartul de ferestre, v\u00e2rsta NU era o scuz\u0103. C\u00e2nd subiectul era venitul acas\u0103 la ore la care f\u0103cea toat\u0103 ga\u015fca mi\u015fto de tine, v\u00e2rsta devenea brusc o scuz\u0103. Erai mereu prea mic c\u00e2nd era vorba de distrac\u0163ie, dar trebuia s\u0103 fii ditamai c\u00e2inele sur cu barb\u0103 mai lung\u0103 dec\u00e2t a lui Arsenie Boca, atunci c\u00e2nd trebuia s\u0103 nu faci n\u0103zb\u00e2tii.<\/p>\n \u015ei apropo de asta.<\/p>\n 3. Toat\u0103 lupta sindical\u0103 e pe umerii t\u0103i.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n \u015ei prin asta m\u0103 refer la negocierea dreptului la distrac\u0163ie, la luare de decizii, la independen\u0163\u0103. Primul copil e mereu \u00een ipostaza ingrat\u0103 \u00een care m\u0103-sa vrea s\u0103-i aleag\u0103 hainele \u015fi \u00een clasa a VI-a, pentru c\u0103 o parte consistent\u0103 a meseriei de p\u0103rinte e s\u0103 \u015fcole\u015fti pe cineva care nu poate s\u0103 \u00ee\u0163i spun\u0103 c\u0103 mersi, dar dac\u0103 vrea lec\u0163ioare, cere.<\/p>\n Primul copil e \u0103la care \u00eendur\u0103 grosul istericalelor cu “de ce s\u0103 te razi la subra\u0163, ai doar trei floci obosi\u0163i”, “la ora zece s\u0103 fii acas\u0103” \u015fi “nu, nu te las acolo”. El trebuie s\u0103 se certe, s\u0103 \u015fantajeze, s\u0103 se arunce de la etaj, s\u0103 \u00ee\u015fi duc\u0103 un pistol cu ap\u0103 la t\u00e2mpl\u0103, s\u0103 cheme televiziunea local\u0103 \u015fi s\u0103 declare \u00een lacrimi c\u0103 via\u0163a \u00eentr-un asemenea regim de opresiune e imposibil\u0103.<\/p>\n Dup\u0103 ce ai \u00eenfr\u00e2nt du\u015fmanul de clas\u0103, adic\u0103 p\u0103rin\u0163ii, \u0103ia mai mici profit\u0103 porcin de avantajele negociate de tine la s\u00e2nge, cu pre\u0163ul demnit\u0103\u0163ii tale de om, pentru c\u0103 \u015fi p\u0103rin\u0163ii sunt suficient de traumatiza\u0163i de lupta dus\u0103 cu tine s\u0103 nu mai \u00eencerce s\u0103-i \u0163in\u0103 sub papuc \u015fi pe restul.<\/p>\n 4. Tu le dai statut \u015fi prin \u015fcoli fra\u0163ilor t\u0103i mai mici.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n Clasa I. Tu e\u015fti un pu\u015ftan oarecare, printre mul\u0163i al\u0163ii. Dar pentru c\u0103 \u0163i s-a tot repetat c\u0103 trebuie s\u0103 fii exemplu, decolezi de la sol ca Apollo 15, \u00eenve\u0163i fabulos, \u015fi ajungi un nume respectat.<\/p>\n Fra\u0163ii t\u0103i mai mici intr\u0103 dup\u0103 tine cu un golaveraj uria\u015f, f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 mi\u015fte un deget, strict pe prezum\u0163ia c\u0103, dac\u0103-s ie\u015fi\u0163i din acela\u015fi vagin cu tine, sunt de\u015ftep\u0163i de pocnesc becurile \u00een jurul creierului lor supradotat.<\/p>\n Dac\u0103 \u015ftiu materia c\u00e2t s\u0103 nu se b\u00e2lb\u00e2ie, au note pentru care tu, pe vremea ta, ai muncit de \u0163i-a s\u0103rit smal\u0163ul.<\/p>\n 5. Ai perpetuu remorc\u0103 dup\u0103 tine.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n Oriunde te duci, “ia-l cu tine \u015fi pe frati-tu”. Un mod de a omor\u00ee mai multe probleme deodat\u0103, deoarece: a) scap\u0103 de necesitatea de a-l supraveghea b) \u015ftiu c\u0103 tu o s\u0103-l p\u0103ze\u015fti ca pe ochii din cap, c\u0103 altfel vezi tu pe dracu c) \u015ftiu c\u0103 a\u015fa nu faci cine \u015ftie ce t\u00e2mpenii, pentru c\u0103 bestia mic\u0103 p\u00e2r\u0103\u015fte totul, cu sadism.<\/p>\n Practic, e o dubl\u0103 \u00eenchisoare, unde v\u0103 sunte\u0163i reciproc gardieni. Iadul e \u00een ceilal\u0163i, cum spunea ilustrul Jean Paul Sartre.<\/p>\n 6) \u0102la mic va r\u0103m\u00e2ne toat\u0103 via\u0163a puiul mic \u015fi dulce.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n Plusul \u0103la de r\u0103sf\u0103\u0163, de m\u00e2nca-l-ar-mama-pe-el-de-\u00eengera\u015f, r\u0103m\u00e2ne cumva lipit de ultimul copil din serie, chiar c\u00e2nd ajunge ditamai h\u0103ndr\u0103l\u0103ul c\u00e2t muntele. Sigur, unde sunt trei, ia \u015fi mijlociul \u0163eapa cu retrogradarea \u00een divizia C, \u015fi \u00eemi imaginez c\u00e2t\u0103 satisfac\u0163ie r\u0103ut\u0103cioas\u0103 resimte cel mai mare c\u00e2nd \u00eel vede pe \u0163u\u0163i-mu\u0163i de p\u00e2n\u0103 atunci total debusolat, mazilit din pozi\u0163ia de tezaurul inestimabil al familiei.<\/p>\n Unde, \u00eens\u0103, sunt numai doi copii, tu r\u0103m\u00e2i \u00een\u0163epenit \u00een pozi\u0163ia perpetu\u0103 de \u0163in\u0103tor de lum\u00e2nare \u015fi de a cincea roat\u0103 la c\u0103ru\u0163\u0103, \u015fi te tot ab\u0163ii s\u0103 sugerezi: “Auzi\u0163i. Eu nu vreau s\u0103 stau \u00een calea iubirii voastre. Unde e groapa de gunoi pentru copiii-rebut? M\u0103 duc de bun\u0103-voie, e ok.”<\/p>\n 7) Iei periodic b\u0103taie tu, s\u0103 \u00eenve\u0163e \u0103la mai mic.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n Ok, \u00een rarele voastre momente c\u00e2nd nu v\u0103 bate\u0163i precum chiorii, colabora\u0163i. Colabora\u0163i la ce? Desigur, la f\u0103cut t\u00e2mpenii. Pe care le face\u0163i cot-la-cot, participa\u0163ie 50%, fr\u0103\u0163e\u015fte cum ar veni.<\/p>\n Cine \u00ee\u015fi ia omorul dup\u0103 ce se descoper\u0103 t\u00e2mpenia cu pricina?<\/p>\n Desigur, exclusiv tu. C\u0103 tu erai \u0103la mai mare, care trebuia s\u0103 \u015ftie mai bine, \u015fi tu trebuia s\u0103 dai exemplu. Se presupune c\u0103 \u0103la mic vede \u015fi \u00eenva\u0163\u0103 c\u0103 a\u015fa nu.<\/p>\n \u00cen realitate, \u0103la mic se distreaz\u0103 de minune c\u0103 te vede lu\u00e2nd-o peste bot, pentru c\u0103 ura preten\u0163ia ta de autoritate (ultima satisfac\u0163ie pe care o mai aveai \u015fi tu) cu o frenezie demn\u0103 de scopuri mai nobile. De fapt, chiar te atr\u0103sese el \u00een t\u00e2mpenie, \u00een ideea s\u0103 \u00eensceneze un flagrant delict \u015fi s\u0103-\u0163i iei b\u0103taie.<\/p>\n 8) Trebuie mereu s\u0103 \u00eempar\u0163i.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n Dac\u0103 prime\u015fti tu ceva: “Nu fi egoist, d\u0103-i \u015fi fratelui t\u0103u!”<\/p>\n Dac\u0103 prime\u015fte el ceva \u015fi hale\u015fte ca disperatul: “Hai, las\u0103-l, dragul de el, e \u015fi el mic \u015fi a poftit.”<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n Foto: pixabay.com.<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n \u00ce\u0163i plac textele Trollywood? Po\u0163i sus\u0163ine \u015fi tu proiectul.<\/p>\n *** Unii se nasc singuri la p\u0103rin\u021bi \u0219i mulg de la ace\u0219tia aten\u021bie, iubire \u0219i resurse p\u00e2n\u0103 \u00eei bag\u0103 \u00een groap\u0103. Al\u021bii, cum suntem eu...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":16007,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-16006","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/11\/brothers.jpg?fit=640%2C437&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16006","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=16006"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16006\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":16010,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16006\/revisions\/16010"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/16007"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=16006"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=16006"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=16006"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}![\"\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea-300x300.jpg?resize=300%2C300\")
<\/a><\/p>\n
\nVrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe Twitter<\/a><\/strong> \u015fi Instagram<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"