{"id":16076,"date":"2018-11-21T11:10:49","date_gmt":"2018-11-21T08:10:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=16076"},"modified":"2018-11-21T11:35:30","modified_gmt":"2018-11-21T08:35:30","slug":"avantajele-locuitului-de-unul-singur","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/avantajele-locuitului-de-unul-singur\/","title":{"rendered":"Avantajele locuitului de unul singur"},"content":{"rendered":"

Periodic, mai scrie c\u00e2te cineva un rant lung \u015fi t\u00e2nguitor despre c\u00e2t de trist\u0103 e singur\u0103tatea – am chiar acum vreo cinci \u00een po\u015fta redac\u0163iei, dar promit c\u0103 luni voi publica primul mail care con\u0163ine orice alt\u0103 problem\u0103 personal\u0103 dec\u00e2t drama singur\u0103t\u0103\u0163ii.<\/p>\n

Pur \u015fi simplu, oamenii \u00ee\u015fi petrec h\u0103lci de via\u0163\u0103 fug\u0103rind sexul opus – sau acela\u015fi, dac\u0103-s gay, sau ambele sexe, dac\u0103-s bi – \u00een timp ce cheia adev\u0103ratei fericiri se afl\u0103 \u00een singur\u0103tate. Dac\u0103 \u015ftii s\u0103 te bucuri de ea.<\/p>\n

\u00cen momentul \u0103sta, locuiesc singur\u0103 de cam opt ani, de c\u00e2nd am \u00eenceput s\u0103 c\u00e2\u015ftig suficient \u00eenc\u00e2t s\u0103 nu mai am nevoie de colegi de apartament, cu care s\u0103 \u00eempart chiria \u015fi facturile. \u015ei \u015ftiu, din ce economiseam f\u0103c\u00e2nd chiria \u015fi facturile pe din dou\u0103, 12 luni pe an, \u00eemi permiteam o vacan\u0163\u0103 frumoas\u0103 de dou\u0103 s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2ni \u00een orice col\u0163 al planetei.<\/p>\n

Dar, pentru mine, deal-ul e mult mai bun astfel. Pentru c\u0103, paradoxal, de\u015fi oamenii se tem de singur\u0103tate ca de cancer la testicule, \u00eei descoper\u0103 beneficiile abia c\u00e2nd \u00eencep s-o experimenteze. Iar acestea sunt urm\u0103toarele:<\/p>\n

1) Faci ce vrei tu, c\u00e2nd vrei tu.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00cen afara jobului, dac\u0103 e\u015fti salariat, sau a taskurilor contractuale, dac\u0103 e\u015fti freelancer, timpul e o resurs\u0103, mai exact o avu\u0163ie, pe care o controlezi \u00een totalitate.<\/p>\n

\u015ei o investe\u015fti exact \u00een ce consideri tu c\u0103 merit\u0103.<\/p>\n

Dac\u0103, \u00eentr-o zi liber\u0103, vrei s\u0103 dormi p\u00e2n\u0103 la 13, faci exact asta. Dac\u0103 vrei s\u0103 vizionezi toate sezoanele \u015fi toate episoadele din\u00a0RuPaul’s Drag Race\u00a0<\/em>\u00eentr-o singur\u0103 sesiune, faci exact asta. Dac\u0103 vrei s\u0103 sco\u0163i un covora\u015f de neopren \u015fi s\u0103 faci exerci\u0163ii de tonifiere a abdomenului, a\u015fijderea. Dac\u0103 vrei s\u0103 faci noapte alb\u0103 lucr\u00e2nd la un proiect care-\u0163i place, idem.<\/p>\n

Senza\u0163ia asta, c\u0103 timpul t\u0103u e \u00een totalitate al t\u0103u, e cel mai mare atu al singur\u0103t\u0103\u0163ii. \u015ei cred c\u0103 dac\u0103 m\u00e2ine ar ap\u0103rea jum\u0103tatea perfect\u0103, a\u015f ezita luuung dac\u0103 merit\u0103 s\u0103-mi pierd controlul asupra propriului timp sau nu.<\/p>\n

2) Nu ai de dat raport legat de ceea ce faci.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

De ce stai? De ce nu m\u0103 aju\u0163i? F\u0103-mi \u015fi mie aia. Adu-mi \u015fi mie asta. Hai s\u0103 mergem acolo. Unde te duci? C\u00e2nd vii?<\/p>\n

Toate acestea sunt conversa\u0163ii normale \u00eentr-o rela\u0163ie, sau chiar \u00eentre doi prieteni care \u00eempart o chirie, dar pentru un om singur, sun\u0103 a interogatoriu stalinist.<\/p>\n

Stau c\u0103 a\u015fa vrea mu\u015fchiul meu. Te ajut DAC\u0102 m\u0103 rogi frumos, \u015fi DAC\u0102 vreau. Uite, poate n-am chef s\u0103 fac \u015fi s\u0103 aduc nimic. Nu, nu merg acolo. Nu te apas\u0103 grija unde m\u0103 duc. Vin c\u00e2nd se termin\u0103.<\/p>\n

\u00cencerca\u0163i voi s\u0103 da\u0163i r\u0103spunsurile acestea \u00eentr-o rela\u0163ie, \u015fi v\u0103 jur, a\u0163i decalotat-o definitiv \u015fi irevocabil.<\/p>\n

C\u00e2nd stai singur, toate astea nu exist\u0103 de la bun \u00eenceput.<\/p>\n

3) Casa e \u00een starea de cur\u0103\u0163enie \u00een care o la\u015fi.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Unii oameni sunt obseda\u0163i de ordine. Totul e bec \u00een casa lor. Al\u0163ii (\u015fi prin al\u0163ii, vreau s\u0103 zic “eu \u015fi cei ca mine”), au pe jos 57636 de pantaloni, fuste, bluze, tricouri, c\u00e2te un bocanc desperecheat a c\u0103rui jum\u0103tate a f\u0103cut-o motanul disp\u0103rut\u0103 \u015fi doi papuci de cas\u0103 diferi\u0163i pe exact acelea\u015fi considerente. Taman de aceea, eu \u015fi cei ca mine purt\u0103m o \u015foset\u0103 cu inimioare \u015fi una cu michimau\u015fi \u015fi zicem c\u0103 e estetica asimetriei. M-am \u015fi tuns asimetric, cu jum\u0103tate de cap ultrascurt \u015fi jum\u0103tate bob la baza g\u00e2tului, c\u0103 dac\u0103 tot m\u0103 for\u0163eaz\u0103 haosul s\u0103 fiu asimetric\u0103, m\u0103car s-o transform \u00een stil.<\/p>\n

Mbun.<\/p>\n

Pentru ordona\u0163i e un chin \u015fi o belea s\u0103 stea cu dezordona\u0163i, \u015fi viceversa. Unii fac atac cerebral c\u00e2nd v\u0103d balamucul f\u0103r\u0103 cap \u015fi coad\u0103 format din obiectele celorlal\u0163i, iar ceilal\u0163i sunt castra\u0163i intelectual \u015fi emo\u0163ional c\u00e2nd \u00eei ia ordonatul \u00een t\u0103rbac\u0103, s\u0103-i mustre zdrav\u0103n. Dac\u0103 \u0163ip\u0103 cineva la mine, mai ales pe motive meschine, m\u0103 inhib\u0103 creativ pe o s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2n\u0103.<\/p>\n

\u015ei chiar c\u00e2nd stau doi dezordona\u0163i, e r\u0103u, pentru c\u0103 haosul se multiplic\u0103 la infinit \u015fi nimeni nu g\u0103se\u015fte nimic niciodat\u0103, apoi \u00eencep s\u0103 se \u00eenvinuiasc\u0103 reciproc.<\/p>\n

4. Po\u0163i umbla \u00een fundul gol prin cas\u0103.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Sigur, po\u0163i \u015fi cu iubitul \/ iubita, dar nu e acela\u015fi lucru. Tot se uit\u0103 cineva la tine. Iar c\u00e2nd \u00eempar\u0163i o chirie cu un amic, nu po\u0163i \u015fi punct.<\/p>\n

\u00cen schimb, e ceva extrem de satisf\u0103c\u0103tor \u00een a sta la Netflix gol pu\u015fc\u0103, \u00een a face de m\u00e2ncare gol pu\u015fc\u0103, \u00een a da cu aspiratorul gol pu\u015fc\u0103. “\u015ei cum dai cu aspiratorul, Loreno, dac\u0103 ai at\u00e2tea bulendre pe jos?”. Le aduni pe canapea \u015fi scaune, \u00een regim morman, dai cu aspiratorul, apoi le arunci \u00eenapoi, lol. Goliciunea de unul singur n-are nimic sexual. E goliciunea lui Adam \u015fi a Evei din paradis. Normal\u0103, relaxat\u0103 \u015fi f\u0103r\u0103 complexe.<\/p>\n

Iar eu nu mai am nici un chef s\u0103 fiu sexual\u0103 \u00een afara momentelor c\u00e2nd mi se pune pata.<\/p>\n

5. Nu trebuie s\u0103 ascul\u0163i pove\u015fti despre ziua \u015fi problemele altuia.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Eu sunt un om relativ t\u0103cut, c\u00e2nd nu am vreun job care presupune vorb\u0103rie. \u015ei nu tac c\u0103 n-am ce zice, tac pentru c\u0103 lucrez mintal la c\u00e2te ceva. Un text pe zi pe acest blog, plus ce mai scriu pentru oameni cu care lucrez la siteurile lor, e munc\u0103.<\/p>\n

De c\u00e2te ori am locuit \u00een comun, oamenii \u00eemi luau t\u0103cerea drept semn c\u0103 e cazul s\u0103 turuie. Iar eu sunt un om politicos. \u00cei rugam s\u0103 tac\u0103 abia c\u00e2nd deveneau peste m\u0103sur\u0103 de obositori \u015fi, tot a\u015fa, turuiala lor m\u0103 castra intelectual \u015fi creativ pe durata unor ore.<\/p>\n

6) Po\u0163i fi grosolan.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Po\u0163i bea vin direct din sticl\u0103, lapte direct din cutie, po\u0163i m\u00e2nca direct din tigaia \u00een care ai f\u0103cut omleta sau legumele chineze\u015fti cu pui, proptit\u0103 de un fund de lemn, s\u0103 nu te ard\u0103 \u00een poal\u0103, \u00een timp ce revezi Velvet Goldmine. Po\u0163i unge un strat gros de mu\u015ftar direct pe \u015fni\u0163el. Po\u0163i m\u00e2nca boabele de n\u0103ut din conserv\u0103 ca pe alune. \u015ei n\u015fpe mii de \u0163\u0103r\u0103nii m\u0103runte, din acela\u015fi registru, care ar face un partener s\u0103 se dezamorezeze de tine instant. Po\u0163i comanda o pizza \u015fi peste dou\u0103 ore, pui \u00een cinci culori de la chinezesc, pentru c\u0103, p\u00e2n\u0103 vine pizza, \u00ee\u0163i trece pofta de ea. Dac\u0103 stai cu altul \u015fi faci asta, acel altul o s\u0103 te bomb\u0103ne.<\/p>\n

7) E\u015fti st\u0103p\u00e2nul banilor t\u0103i.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00cemi place s\u0103 fiu cu facturile la zi. Proprietarii de apartamente care te \u015ftiu bun platnic \u015fi mizeaz\u0103 punctual pe banii de la tine au acest bun obicei, s\u0103 nu le pese cum tr\u0103ie\u015fti \u015fi ce faci. \u0102ia care v\u0103d \u00eentre\u0163inerea adun\u00e2ndu-se \u00een tabel \u015fi-i sun\u0103 ENEL c\u0103 le taie curentul tind s\u0103 devin\u0103 stresa\u0163i, \u015fi, implicit, stresan\u0163i.<\/p>\n

C\u00e2nd stai singur, pl\u0103te\u015fti totul la scaden\u0163\u0103, \u015fi e\u015fti chiria\u015fa lor preferat\u0103. C\u00e2nd stai \u00een mai mul\u0163i, e un aspect care nu depinde \u00een totalitate de tine.<\/p>\n

\u015ei tot ca st\u0103p\u00e2nul banilor t\u0103i, po\u0163i s\u0103-\u0163i cumperi o mie de eyelinere \u00een pace, f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 se ia nimeni de tine c\u0103 mai ai at\u00e2tea.<\/p>\n

8) N-ai parte dec\u00e2t de vizitele pe care le vrei, c\u00e2nd le vrei.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Bine, eu mai sunt \u015fi omul \u0103la megaciufut, care, dac\u0103 n-a stabilit c\u0103 vii pe la el, nu-\u0163i deschide u\u015fa. \u015ei nici m\u0103car nu mimeaz\u0103 c\u0103 nu suntem acas\u0103. \u00ce\u015fi pune Metallica, s\u0103 \u015ftii c\u0103 este acas\u0103, dar \u0103la e timpul lui, nu al t\u0103u, \u015fi nu a fost vorba s\u0103-\u0163i fie alocat \u0163ie.<\/p>\n

De c\u00e2te ori nu vi s-a \u00eent\u00e2mplat s\u0103 ajunge\u0163i acas\u0103 obosi\u0163i dup\u0103 o zi de munc\u0103, t\u00e2njind dup\u0103 lini\u015fte, o baie cald\u0103 \u015fi un bol de ciorb\u0103, \u015fi s\u0103 g\u0103si\u0163i livingul plin de musafiri, care mai \u015fi ascultau muzic\u0103 tare, \u015fi care au mai \u015fi b\u0103ut ceva, \u015fi au senza\u0163ia c\u0103 dac\u0103 se bag\u0103 insistent \u00een sufletul t\u0103u, \u00ee\u0163i trece proasta dispozi\u0163ie?<\/p>\n

Sau s\u0103 vre\u0163i s\u0103 ie\u015fi\u0163i la o plimbare, dar oh, vai, nu se poate, vin Ixule\u015ftii pe la noi?<\/p>\n

\u015ei dac\u0103 vin Ixule\u015ftii pe la voi, trebuie s\u0103 te extragi din ce f\u0103ceai \u015fi s\u0103 mimezi c\u0103 e\u015fti sociabil \u015fi curtenitor. Eventual s\u0103 fii tu prostul care merge dup\u0103 bere \u015fi \u0163ig\u0103ri, pentru c\u0103 prietenul sau prietena ta era gazda la care veniser\u0103.<\/p>\n

9) Ascul\u0163i muzica TA de cacao, \u015fi nu trebuie s\u0103 supor\u0163i muzica de cacao a altuia.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Pe c\u00e2nd munceam asiduu s\u0103 am un boyfriend – da, to\u0163i trecem pe acolo, am cunoscut un specimen care voia s\u0103 petrecem serile \u00een care nu ne vedeam conecta\u0163i pe Messenger. \u015ei insista s\u0103 pun\u0103 muzic\u0103. Muzic\u0103 siropoas\u0103 \u015fi le\u015finoas\u0103, detestabil\u0103. Iar c\u00e2nd \u00eei spuneam c\u0103 vreau s\u0103 ascult Hole, \u00eel apucau to\u0163i b\u00e2zd\u00e2cii p\u0103m\u00e2ntului.<\/p>\n

De parc\u0103 gusturile mele erau o ofens\u0103 la adresa gusturilor lui. Am ajuns \u00een dou\u0103 luni s\u0103 trec, \u00een ceea ce-l privea, de la o poten\u0163ial\u0103 atrac\u0163ie, la o sil\u0103 stresat\u0103 \u015fi extenuat\u0103, pentru c\u0103 modul \u00een care \u00eemi parazita \u015fi \u00eemi vampiriza fiecare secund\u0103 liber\u0103 era de fapt al optulea cerc al iadului.<\/p>\n

10. Po\u0163i lucra lini\u015ftit la ale tale, dac\u0103 munce\u015fti de acas\u0103.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Vrei s\u0103 \u00eenve\u0163i cu voce tare un rol pentru un casting? Po\u0163i citi \u00een gura mare, nu-i pas\u0103 nim\u0103nui. Vrei s\u0103 exersezi la ukulele, sau la cimpoi cu bile? Idem. Nu va boci nimeni c\u0103 e repetitiv \u015fi plictisitor. Ai de tradus o carte? Nu c\u00e2r\u00e2ie nimeni c\u0103 stai lipit de calculator ore \u00een \u015fir. Vrei s\u0103 \u00eenve\u0163i dansuri ritualice inca\u015fe? OK, la astea ri\u015fti s\u0103-\u0163i bat\u0103 vecinii \u00een \u0163eav\u0103, dac\u0103 trop\u0103i prea tare, dar \u00een rest, nu te vede nimeni gre\u015find, d\u00e2nd cu st\u00e2ngul \u00een dreptul \u015fi ru\u015fin\u00e2ndu-te de tine. \u015ei dac\u0103 te enervezi, po\u0163i s\u0103 \u00eenjuri c\u00e2t te \u0163in bojocii, c\u0103 nu st\u0103 nimeni s\u0103 dea ochii peste cap, a “oh, vai, ce comportament nedemn”.<\/p>\n

Once you go black, you never go back? A\u015f zice once you go truly single (and get to enjoy it), you never go back.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

\u00ce\u0163i plac textele Trollywood? Po\u0163i sus\u0163ine \u015fi tu proiectul.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

***
\nVrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe Twitter<\/a><\/strong> \u015fi Instagram<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Periodic, mai scrie c\u00e2te cineva un rant lung \u015fi t\u00e2nguitor despre c\u00e2t de trist\u0103 e singur\u0103tatea – am chiar acum vreo cinci \u00een po\u015fta...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":16078,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-16076","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/11\/home-alone.jpg?fit=480%2C240&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16076","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=16076"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16076\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":16083,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16076\/revisions\/16083"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/16078"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=16076"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=16076"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=16076"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}