{"id":16091,"date":"2018-11-23T15:00:52","date_gmt":"2018-11-23T12:00:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=16091"},"modified":"2018-11-23T15:11:36","modified_gmt":"2018-11-23T12:11:36","slug":"anii-cei-mai-frumosi","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/anii-cei-mai-frumosi\/","title":{"rendered":"Anii cei mai frumo\u0219i"},"content":{"rendered":"

Din c\u00e2nd \u00een c\u00e2nd, c\u00e2te un prieten posteaz\u0103 o amintire din copil\u0103rie, sau din liceu. Sau o discu\u021bie amuzant\u0103 cu propriii copii. \u0218i mereu, dar mereu, apare persoana neajutorat\u0103 intelectual care ofteaz\u0103 cu tot patetismul universului: Anii cei mai frumo\u0219i. Sau: Cea mai frumoas\u0103 v\u00e2rst\u0103. Sau: V\u00e2rsta fericirii. Sau orice alt cli\u0219eu idiot pe tem\u0103.<\/p>\n

Iar eu stau mereu \u0219i meditez cu groaz\u0103 ce vie\u021bi oribile trebuie s\u0103 duc\u0103 oamenii \u0103ia, dac\u0103 anii copil\u0103riei \u0219i ai liceului au fost cei mai frumo\u0219i.<\/p>\n

Din punctul meu de vedere, via\u021ba adev\u0103rat\u0103 \u00eencepe la 20 de ani. Dup\u0103 ce termini cu educa\u021bia obligatorie, dup\u0103 ce \u00eencepi s\u0103 produci bani, dup\u0103 ce cape\u021bi control pe tot ceea ce faci \u0219i apuci s\u0103-\u021bi exerci\u021bi voin\u021ba \u0219i op\u021biunile. E singurul mod \u00een care merit\u0103 tr\u0103it\u0103 via\u021ba.<\/p>\n

\u0218i copil\u0103ria, \u0219i adolescen\u021ba mi s-au p\u0103rut \u00eengrozitoare la momentul lor, taman din acest motiv. Altcineva \u00ee\u021bi spunea ce s\u0103 faci. Altcineva \u00ee\u021bi spunea ce ai \u0219i ce nu ai voie. Altcineva hot\u0103ra la ce or\u0103 vii acas\u0103, \u0219i tot altcineva hot\u0103ra ce anume din ce faci e bine, ce e r\u0103u, \u0219i ce pedeaps\u0103 meri\u021bi.<\/p>\n

Amuzant e un episod pe care nu mi-l amintesc, dar mi l-a povestit mama. Am \u00eenceput la 6 ani \u0219coala. \u00cenc\u0103 nu avusese loc divor\u021bul, iar \u00eenainte de divor\u021b mama fusese foarte tandr\u0103 \u0219i iubitoare. Trauma c\u0103 b\u0103rbatu-su e un fustangiu care a f\u0103cut pipi pe \u00eencrederea ei a fost cea care a dus la tulbur\u0103rile de mai \u00eencolo.<\/p>\n

Mbun, \u0219i \u00eemi poveste\u0219te ea mereu:<\/p>\n

-Mi-am luat concediu o s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2n\u0103, s\u0103 te ajut cu primele teme. Prima zi a fost deschiderea festiv\u0103 \u0219i a\u021bi primit manualele. A doua zi, primele teme. Ai venit acas\u0103 \u0219i ai \u00eenceput s\u0103 \u021bi le faci. M-am a\u0219ezat l\u00e2ng\u0103 tine. Tu te-ai uitat la mine cu o privire de func\u021bionar public care n-are chef de public. Am zis: Vreau s\u0103 te ajut. Iar tu mi-ai r\u0103spuns: Temele sunt treaba mea!<\/p>\n

Eu, evident, nu mi-amintesc episodul, dar e o \u00eenc\u00e2ntare s\u0103 aflu c\u0103 eram o sassy b**ch \u00eenc\u0103 de mic copil.<\/p>\n

Dar pe atunci, trendul de parenting se baza pe no\u021biunea de control absolut asupra copilului, pe modelarea lui ca element obedient. Iar eu aveam acest obicei s\u0103 \u00eentreb, de c\u00e2te ori mi se spunea c\u0103 ceva trebuie, sau nu trebuie: De ce?<\/p>\n

\u0218i niciodat\u0103 nu acceptam: A\u0219a se face.<\/p>\n

De ce se face a\u0219a \u0219i nu altfel?<\/p>\n

Sunt adul\u021bi c\u0103rora nu le-a p\u0103sat niciodat\u0103 de ce se face a\u0219a \u0219i nu altfel. A\u0219a face toat\u0103 lumea, a\u0219a facem \u0219i noi. Punct.<\/p>\n

Dar poate nu vrem s\u0103 fim ca toat\u0103 lumea?<\/p>\n

Ba da, n-are cum s\u0103 gre\u0219easc\u0103 toat\u0103 lumea.<\/p>\n

M\u0103 rog, \u00eemi dau seama c\u0103 e greu cu un copil care te terorizeaz\u0103 cu nevoia de a explica fiecare r\u0103h\u0103\u021bel m\u0103runt \u0219i, p\u00e2n\u0103 la un punct, fiecare copil e vampirul energetic \u0219i sursa major\u0103 de stres a celor care-l cresc. \u0218i \u00eemi dau seama c\u0103 e greu, \u00eentr-un raport care pe vremea aceea era privit ca unul de absolut\u0103 autoritate (Eu te-am f\u0103cut, eu te omor!), s\u0103 ai persoana care, cu biberonul la gur\u0103, pune mereu sub semnul \u00eentreb\u0103rii orice form\u0103 de autoritate.<\/p>\n

Pe scurt, copil\u0103ria \u0219i adolescen\u021ba mea au fost un chin, din multe, multe motive (nu-mi pl\u0103cea de mine, nu-mi pl\u0103cea de al\u021bii, nu aveam bani niciodat\u0103, nu aveam libertate, \u0219tiau mereu al\u021bii ce e mai bine pentru mine, f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 m\u0103 consulte, \u0219i foarte multe persoane \u00eemi d\u0103deau ordine strict pe baza faptului c\u0103 ele erau adulte \u0219i eu nu. Abia acum, ca adult la r\u00e2ndu-mi, realizez ce bull5h!t \u0219i ce impostur\u0103 e chestia asta, de fapt.)<\/p>\n

De ce ar fi liceul perioada celor mai frumo\u0219i ani? C\u00e2nd toat\u0103 lumea e extrem de nesigur\u0103 pe sine, \u0219i se ap\u0103r\u0103 cum poate, mul\u021bi teroriz\u00e2ndu-\u0219i \u0219i umilindu-\u0219i colegii? C\u00e2nd vrei foarte tare s\u0103 fii luat \u00een serios, dar nimeni nu o face? C\u00e2nd mult\u0103 lume \u00eenc\u0103 \u00ee\u021bi vorbe\u0219te ca \u0219i cum ai avea trei ani? C\u00e2nd nici tu nu e\u0219ti sigur cine \u0219i ce \u00ee\u021bi place, \u0219i de ce?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Dar pentru unii oameni, asta e cea mai frumoas\u0103 perioad\u0103 a vie\u021bii lor. \u0218i o mai \u0219i declar\u0103 public, afectat, cu emfaz\u0103.<\/p>\n

Practic, e ca \u0219i cum \u021bi-ai face coming outul. Nu \u021bi-a mers bine dec\u00e2t atunci c\u00e2nd au luat al\u021bii decizii pentru tine.<\/p>\n

Trist.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

\u00ce\u0163i plac textele Trollywood? Po\u0163i sus\u0163ine \u015fi tu proiectul.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

***
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Din c\u00e2nd \u00een c\u00e2nd, c\u00e2te un prieten posteaz\u0103 o amintire din copil\u0103rie, sau din liceu. Sau o discu\u021bie amuzant\u0103 cu propriii copii. \u0218i mereu,...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":14493,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-16091","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/loud-boom.jpg?fit=800%2C638&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16091","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=16091"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16091\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":16093,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16091\/revisions\/16093"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/14493"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=16091"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=16091"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=16091"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}