Bun\u0103, Lorena,<\/strong> Povestea e cam a\u0219a: 19 ani \u00eempreun\u0103; divor\u021ba\u021bi anul trecut (divor\u021b ini\u021biat de mine, c\u0103 mi-a ajuns cu\u021bitul la os). Am r\u0103mas \u00een aceea\u0219i cas\u0103 \u0219i, ulterior, \u00eempreun\u0103 efectiv. Avem doi copii reu\u0219i\u021bi, cariere de dus \u0219i toate c\u00e2te vin la pachet. Motivul divor\u021bului a fost infidelitatea lui repetat\u0103 (de mul\u021bi ani) \u0219i lipsa de implicare \u00een via\u021ba \u00een doi\/patru. Sexul \u00een ultimii ani a fost la cote pe care nu \u0219i le-a imaginat m\u0103car. Banii nu sunt o problem\u0103. Eu sunt \u00eengrijit\u0103, frumoas\u0103 \u0219i devreme acas\u0103, adic\u0103 nu l-am neglijat nici pe el, nici pe mine, nici pe noi; nu m-am ferit de a-mi expune punctul de vedere, nu am \u00eencercat s\u0103 \u00eel mint sau s\u0103 \u00eel duc de nas; nu sunt genul agasant, cic\u0103litor sau pus pe har\u021b\u0103 – din contr\u0103, \u00eentotdeauna am c\u0103utat s\u0103 v\u0103d \u0219i s\u0103 dezvolt \u00een cei din jur ceea ce au ei mai bun, mai valoros \u0219i pozitiv.<\/strong> S\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2na trecut\u0103, de exemplu, m-a invitat \u00een ora\u0219, iar c\u00e2nd am ajuns, a \u00eenceput s\u0103 fie ironic, agresiv verbal \u0219i chiar cu un comportament de ultim\u0103 spe\u021b\u0103. M-am ridicat pur \u0219i simplu de la mas\u0103 \u0219i am plecat, c\u0103 nu am de ce s\u0103 \u00eei suport ofensele. A venit \u0219i el la scurt timp acas\u0103, \u0219i-a cerut scuze- c\u0103 nu \u0219tia ce l-a apucat, iar diminea\u021ba a spus c\u0103 nu \u0219tie cum s-a comportat, nu \u00ee\u0219i mai aminte\u0219te. \ud83e\udd10<\/strong> ***<\/p>\n Drag\u0103 X.,<\/p>\n Eu nu \u00eel cunosc pe so\u0163ul t\u0103u, mai mult dec\u00e2t mi l-ai descris tu aici, \u00een aceste r\u00e2nduri, astfel c\u0103 nu voi putea dec\u00e2t s\u0103 avansez c\u00e2teva ipoteze. Te rog s\u0103 le cite\u015fti strict ca pe ni\u015fte ipoteze, nu ca pe ni\u015fte verdicte, s\u0103 compari cu ceea ce mai vezi \u015fi s\u0103 iei decizia corect\u0103.<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n Posibilitatea num\u0103rul unu e ca so\u0163ul t\u0103u s\u0103 fie un tic\u0103los misecuvenist. Da, exist\u0103 \u015fi categoria asta de om. Care, dup\u0103 ce de\u0163ine act de c\u0103s\u0103torie, ca act de proprietate asupra bunului numit femeie, \u00een\u0163elege c\u0103 se poate purta oricum, \u015fi tu \u00eei datorezi umilin\u0163\u0103, supunere \u015fi temenele, fiind “a lui”.<\/p>\n Dar dac\u0103 era a\u015fa, probabil c\u0103 abuzul mergea mai departe, pentru c\u0103 tic\u0103losul misecuvenist nu prea are limite.<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n A doua posibilitate e ca so\u0163ul t\u0103u s\u0103 fie o fiin\u0163\u0103 extrem de competitiv\u0103. Genul \u0103sta de om se simte amenin\u0163at direct de\u00a0 succesele altuia, ca \u015fi cum faptul c\u0103 \u0103luia de al\u0103turi \u00eei merge bine \u00eei scade lui direct din succes.<\/p>\n Cam ca pi\u0163ipoanca de care ziceam acum c\u00e2teva zile c\u0103 scria pe blog s\u0103 nu se penseze b\u0103rba\u0163ii, c\u0103 se simte \u00een competi\u0163ie.<\/p>\n Tu zici c\u0103 e\u015fti o femeie frumoas\u0103, c\u0103 ai un salariu mare \u015fi o carier\u0103 de succes. E posibil ca tipul s\u0103 se simt\u0103 emasculat de succesul t\u0103u, s\u0103 aib\u0103 impresia c\u0103 asta \u00eei diminueaz\u0103 lui num\u0103rul de boi de la biciclet\u0103 \u015fi chiar s\u0103 fie invidios pe tine. Asta explic\u0103 r\u0103bufnirile ur\u00e2te, urmate de scuze. C\u00e2nd avem pic\u0103 \u015fi \u0163\u00e2fn\u0103 pe cineva, oric\u00e2t ne-am controla, iese veninul periodic.<\/p>\n Iar dac\u0103 \u0103sta e genul care nu poate \u00eenc\u0103pea de succesul t\u0103u, m\u0103 tem c\u0103 desp\u0103r\u0163irea definitiv\u0103 e singura potec\u0103, altfel cota de toxicitate va cre\u015fte an de an.<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n A treia posibilitate, \u015fi aici doar speculez, c\u0103 nu sunt specialist, este ca so\u0163ul t\u0103u s\u0103 aib\u0103 o problem\u0103 psihic\u0103.<\/p>\n Ia cite\u015fte tu articola\u015ful \u0103sta, de exemplu, despre tulburarea bipolar\u0103<\/a><\/strong>. Seam\u0103n\u0103 izbitor cu ce-mi poveste\u015fti despre so\u0163ul t\u0103u.<\/p>\n \u00cen acest caz, omul nu te minte, chiar NU poate s\u0103-\u015fi controleze schimb\u0103rile de dispozi\u0163ie, \u015fi chiar nu are explica\u0163ie ra\u0163ional\u0103 pentru ele. Aceast\u0103 posibilitate ar da sens \u015fi momentelor bru\u015fte de regret, episoadelor de “cum am ajuns a\u015fa” \u015fi faptului c\u0103 se cramponeaz\u0103 at\u00e2t de mult de tine.<\/p>\n Un b\u0103rbat care nu mai vrea rela\u0163ia pleac\u0103 pur \u015fi simplu, nu st\u0103 s\u0103 se roage.<\/p>\n Ceea ce se poate face \u00een acest caz, este s\u0103-l iei frumos de toart\u0103 \u015fi s\u0103-l duci la un consult psihiatric. Pentru c\u0103 bolile de acest tip tind s\u0103 se agraveze \u00een timp. \u015ei subiectul poate s\u0103-\u015fi fac\u0103 r\u0103u sie\u015fi sau altora. Vestea bun\u0103 e c\u0103, dac\u0103 e diagnosticat, poate fi tratat \u015fi poate s\u0103-\u015fi c\u00e2\u015ftige echilibrul.<\/p>\n Sper c\u0103 \u0163i-am fost util\u0103,<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Lorena.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Foto: pixabay.com.<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n \u00ce\u0163i plac textele Trollywood? Po\u0163i sus\u0163ine \u015fi tu proiectul.<\/p>\n *** Intro: Periodic, oferim iubire cititorului nostru. Nu, Gicu, nu sub form\u0103 de sex, stai jos. \u00cen schimb, lu\u0103m o dram\u0103 personal\u0103 pe care mi-o...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":16105,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-16100","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/11\/nenesuparat.jpg?fit=640%2C615&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16100","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=16100"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16100\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":16110,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16100\/revisions\/16110"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/16105"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=16100"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=16100"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=16100"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nVreau sa iti cer p\u0103rerea. <\/strong><\/p>\n
\nBaiu’ \u00eei c\u0103, dup\u0103 c\u00e2teva luni de “miere” – \u00een care \u00eel v\u0103d c\u0103 \u00ee\u0219i aduce boii acas\u0103, adic\u0103 e ok, se comport\u0103 ca un om normal, e asertiv, e ok fa\u021b\u0103 de mine \u0219i de copii, pe toate planurile, o ia razna \u0219i \u00eencepe s\u0103 umble cu alte femei, s\u0103 fie cinic, dur, agasant, violent verbal \u0219i toate alea. \u0218i nu vrea s\u0103 comunice deloc – adic\u0103 un comportament \u00eembufnat \u0219i steril, care poate dura c\u00e2teva luni.<\/strong>
\nAcum e \u00een faza \u00een care vrea s\u0103 fie atent, folositor. \u00cencepe cu ” cu ce te pot ajuta”, “merg eu\/fac eu”, ca un copil care are nevoie de repere – \u0219i eu \u00eennebunesc, c\u0103 nu \u00eel mai \u00een\u021beleg \u0219i m-am s\u0103turat de lipsa lui de onestitate.<\/strong><\/p>\n
\nL-am rugat s\u0103 plece el de acas\u0103, p\u00e2n\u0103 se lini\u0219tesc apele \u0219i vedem cum rupem pisica \u00een dou\u0103, \u00eens\u0103 nu vrea s\u0103 plece – \u00een to\u021bi anii, \u0219i mai ales \u00een ultimii, am spus ce nu accept, ce vreau \u0219i ce nu vreau, nu poate spune c\u0103 nu a \u0219tiut, c\u0103 nu \u0219tie sau c\u0103 a uitat – \u00eens\u0103 totul e ca o bucl\u0103 care se tot repet\u0103. \ud83d\ude32<\/strong>
\nEste con\u0219tient c\u0103 nu e ok ce se \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103 – \u00een ultimul timp l-am auzit des verbaliz\u00e2nd “cum dracu’ am ajuns a\u015fa?”\u00a0 – dovad\u0103 c\u0103 nu e str\u0103in de ceea ce se \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103 cu el – \u00ee\u015fi cerea scuze (f\u0103r\u0103 motiv aparent) ca apoi s\u0103 revin\u0103 la un comportament opus.<\/strong>
\nVreo idee? C\u0103 am nevoie de un exit urgent, c\u0103 altfel m\u0103 sufoc!<\/strong>
\nMul\u021bam’ fain!<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea-300x300.jpg?resize=300%2C300\")
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\nVrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe Twitter<\/a><\/strong> \u015fi Instagram<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"