{"id":16123,"date":"2018-11-29T12:31:29","date_gmt":"2018-11-29T09:31:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=16123"},"modified":"2018-11-29T12:31:29","modified_gmt":"2018-11-29T09:31:29","slug":"de-ce-aleg-unele-sa-devina-mame","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/de-ce-aleg-unele-sa-devina-mame\/","title":{"rendered":"De ce aleg unele s\u0103 devin\u0103 mame?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Noaptea trecut\u0103 m-am enervat. Dar m-am enervat crunt. Am v\u0103zut un share de pe Facebook, de la postarea jigodiei \u0103steia.<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" style=\"border: none; overflow: hidden;\" src=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/plugins\/post.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Fshirika.flowers.54%2Fposts%2F470697393455693&amp;width=500\" width=\"500\" height=\"726\" frameborder=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>M-am uitat un pic pe wallul femeii, s\u0103 v\u0103d c\u00e2\u021bi ani are Jada asta, de trebuie c\u0103utat\u0103 \u00een telefon. \u00cen\u0103ltu\u021b\u0103, frumu\u0219ic\u0103, adolescent\u0103. V\u00e2rsta la care chiar NU ai chef s\u0103 mai dai raport ca un copil de cinci ani.<\/p>\n<p>\u0218i, da, \u0219tiu, v\u00e2rsta la care deja se dau dubio\u0219i la tine, v\u00e2rsta la care diver\u0219i masculi, care mai de care mai gre\u021bo\u0219i, v\u0103d deja \u00een tine o prad\u0103 \u0219i caut\u0103 s\u0103-\u021bi toarne cele mai obscene minciuni s\u0103 te \u00eemb\u00e2rlige, pentru c\u0103 e\u0219ti mic\u0103 \u0219i, prin urmare, u\u0219or de min\u021bit.<\/p>\n<p>Pe de alt\u0103 parte, v\u00e2rsta la care te sim\u021bi cea mai nesigur\u0103, cea mai ne\u00een\u021beleas\u0103, cea mai paranoic\u0103. E procesul natural de trecere de la copil\u0103rie la v\u00e2rsta adult\u0103. C\u00e2nd p\u0103rin\u021bii \u00eenc\u0103 se \u00eenc\u0103p\u0103\u021b\u00e2neaz\u0103 s\u0103 te trateze ca pe un copil, dar orgoliul t\u0103u \u00eencaseaz\u0103 asta ca pe o jignire. \u0218i e natural. Independen\u021ba nu e un lucru care se formeaz\u0103 de la o zi la alta. Independen\u021ba, demnitatea, instinctul de a-\u021bi proteja boundaries, \u0219i bunurile personale, caracteristice unui adult, se formeaz\u0103 \u00een timp.<\/p>\n<p>P\u0103rintele \u00een\u021belept e \u0103la care \u00een\u021belege.<\/p>\n<p>\u0218i chiar dac\u0103 pune \u00eentreb\u0103ri, \u0219i vrea s\u0103 vad\u0103 ce e cu tine, are discern\u0103m\u00e2ntul \u0219i discre\u021bia s\u0103 nu te invadeze ca Ginghis-Han.<\/p>\n<p>\u00cen schimb, proasta asta sinistr\u0103 nu doar c\u0103 s-a apucat s\u0103 sparg\u0103 telefonul copilei, dar s-a \u0219i \u00eenscris la cuv\u00e2nt pe Facebook s\u0103 se bat\u0103 cu c\u0103r\u0103mida \u00een piept c\u0103 a f\u0103cut-o.<\/p>\n<p>\u0218i, mai groaznic, o gr\u0103mad\u0103 de alte vaci au \u00eenceput s-o aprobe de zor. Bravooo. A\u0219a face un p\u0103rinte. Suuuper. Extraordinar.<\/p>\n<p>Ceva \u00eemi spune c\u0103 gunoiul \u0103sta cu fust\u0103 e mam\u0103 singur\u0103. Probabil pentru c\u0103 a vrut s\u0103-l controleze \u0219i pe \u0103la la telefon exact a\u0219a, \u0219i un b\u0103rbat adult nu prea st\u0103 s\u0103 fie controlat la telefon ca un copil vulnerabil, care depinde material de tine.<\/p>\n<p>Apoi, am mai scrolat pe perete, \u0219i am descoperit c\u0103 fata \u00ee\u0219i cump\u0103rase singur\u0103 telefonul. Din banii c\u00e2\u0219tiga\u021bi la primul ei job.<\/p>\n<p>S\u0103 presupunem c\u0103 ea ar fi fost victima unui astfel de gest. C\u0103 John, sau Tom, sau Paul ar fi vrut s\u0103 vad\u0103 ce e-n telefonul ei, ea ar fi refuzat &#8211; normal! nici un om cu o coloan\u0103 vertebral\u0103 func\u021bional\u0103 n-o s\u0103 accepte vreodat\u0103 s\u0103 i te ui\u021bi \u00een telefon ca unui sclav &#8211; \u0219i atunci, John, sau Tom, sau Paul i-ar fi spart telefonul.<\/p>\n<p>N-ar fi fost social media plin\u0103 de ditamai t\u0103r\u0103boiul, despre ce \u021b\u0103ran porc nesim\u021bit e John, sau Tom, sau Paul?<\/p>\n<p>Exist\u0103 un anumit tip de mame care \u00ee\u0219i trateaz\u0103 copiii ca pe cel mai crunt du\u0219man al lor. Casa mea, regulile mele. Casa mea, u\u0219a e a ta. Dac\u0103 eu spun c\u0103 cerul e verde, \u00eenseamn\u0103 c\u0103 e verde, s-a \u00een\u021beles? Taci din gur\u0103 c\u00e2nd vorbesc eu.<\/p>\n<p>\u00centotdeauna le suspectez c\u0103 \u00ee\u0219i r\u0103zbun\u0103 pe bietul prunc lipsa de autoritate din toate celelalte paliere ale vie\u021bii. Faptul c\u0103 b\u0103rbatul le-a p\u0103r\u0103sit, faptul c\u0103 \u0219eful le munce\u0219te mai mult dec\u00e2t prevede fi\u0219a postului \u0219i le vorbe\u0219te de parc\u0103 le-ar fi extras din partea dorsal\u0103, faptul c\u0103 nu le respect\u0103 nimeni nic\u0103ieri. Faptul c\u0103 au parte pe social media doar pe p**\u0103r\u0103i agasan\u021bi care vor s\u0103 dea un num\u0103r scurt \u0219i at\u00e2t.<\/p>\n<p>\u0218i atunci, ce s\u0103 fac\u0103 \u0219i ele, dec\u00e2t s\u0103 nimiceasc\u0103 iubirea \u0219i respectul singurelor fiin\u021be cu care ar fi putut avea o rela\u021bie de iubire autentic\u0103 \u0219i sprijin, \u0219i anume propriii copii.<\/p>\n<p>\u0218i ce rezolv\u0103 cu asta?<\/p>\n<p>Dac\u0103 e un copil slab, \u00eei insufl\u0103 ne\u00eencredere \u00een for\u021bele proprii \u0219i no\u021biunea c\u0103 abuzul e normal. C\u0103 e firesc s\u0103 \u021bi se sparg\u0103 telefonul, dac\u0103 refuzi s\u0103-l ar\u0103\u021bi. \u00cel educ\u0103 s\u0103 fie victima perfect\u0103 a genului de b\u0103rbat care va alege un traseu la fel de invaziv \u0219i abuziv.<\/p>\n<p>Dac\u0103 e un copil cu personalitate, \u00eei st\u00e2rnesc cele mai negre \u0219i furioase frustr\u0103ri, care \u00eel vor \u00eenso\u021bi pe numitul copil p\u00e2n\u0103 t\u00e2rziu \u00een via\u021b\u0103. \u0218i o ne\u00eencredere feroce \u00een bun\u0103voin\u021ba altor oameni. Dac\u0103 m\u0103-ta, care conform manualului de instruc\u021biuni, se presupunea c\u0103 te iube\u0219te necondi\u021bionat, \u00ee\u021bi stric\u0103 lucrurile, la ce s\u0103 te a\u0219tep\u021bi de la str\u0103ini?<\/p>\n<p>De-aia zic eu c\u0103 unii oameni n-ar trebui s\u0103 fac\u0103 copii. Nu au ce s\u0103 le ofere din nici un punct de vedere. Nu fac dec\u00e2t s\u0103-i foloseasc\u0103 de saci de box \u0219i s\u0103 transfere asupra lor tot acest bagaj de traume \u0219i durere.<\/p>\n<p>Ah, \u0219i poate merge\u021bi \u0219i voi pe peretele vacii \u0103steia, s\u0103-i povesti\u021bi c\u0103 e o vac\u0103. Eu am f\u0103cut-o cu lux de am\u0103nunte, de\u0219i nu sunt genul care s\u0103 spumege \u00een mod normal pe pere\u021bii altora. Dar p\u0103rin\u021bii care-\u0219i calc\u0103 pruncii \u00een picioare fizic \u0219i moral scot din mine un nivel de furie imposibil de egalat cu orice altceva.<\/p>\n<p>Nu po\u021bi trata un copil ca pe un om? Nu face copii. E fix at\u00e2t de simplu.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>***<\/p>\n<p>\u00ce\u0163i plac textele Trollywood? Po\u0163i sus\u0163ine \u015fi tu proiectul.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/paypal.me\/Trollywood\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-medium wp-image-14577\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea-300x300.jpg?resize=300%2C300\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=300%2C300&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=150%2C150&amp;ssl=1 150w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=768%2C768&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=160%2C160&amp;ssl=1 160w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=320%2C320&amp;ssl=1 320w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=184%2C184&amp;ssl=1 184w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=600%2C600&amp;ssl=1 600w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=100%2C100&amp;ssl=1 100w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?w=931&amp;ssl=1 931w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>***<br \/>\nVrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe <a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/lorenaalmighty\/\"><strong>Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe <strong><a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/lorenalupu\">Twitter<\/a><\/strong> \u015fi <strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/lorena.lup\/\">Instagram<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Noaptea trecut\u0103 m-am enervat. Dar m-am enervat crunt. Am v\u0103zut un share de pe Facebook, de la postarea jigodiei \u0103steia. M-am uitat un pic&#46;&#46;&#46;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":14468,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-16123","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/hair-pulling.jpg?fit=620%2C387&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16123","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=16123"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16123\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":16128,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16123\/revisions\/16128"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/14468"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=16123"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=16123"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=16123"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}