{"id":16397,"date":"2019-01-09T10:04:38","date_gmt":"2019-01-09T07:04:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=16397"},"modified":"2019-01-09T11:44:38","modified_gmt":"2019-01-09T08:44:38","slug":"sunt-tata-de-fata-ce-fac","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/sunt-tata-de-fata-ce-fac\/","title":{"rendered":"Sunt tat\u0103 de fat\u0103: Ce fac?"},"content":{"rendered":"

S\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2na asta, bloggerul Bogdan D\u0103r\u0103dan de pe Presa\u00eenblugi<\/a><\/strong> mi-a propus s\u0103 facem schimb de guest posts. Subiectul a fost \u00een oglind\u0103. \u00cen lumina recentelor scandaluri cu tipul care \u015fi-a pus fosta pe sites de escorte \u015fi to\u0163i netermina\u0163ii care au sim\u0163it s\u0103 analizeze dac\u0103 era vinovat sau nu, de parc\u0103 ar exista ceva care s\u0103 justifice un asemenea gest, ne-am propus fiecare s\u0103 prezent\u0103m cum am cre\u015fte un membru al sexului opus. Textul meu pe blogul lui Bogdan e aici<\/a><\/strong>.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Guest post de Bogdan D\u0103r\u0103dan: Sunt tat\u0103 de fat\u0103: Ce fac?\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A\u0219a cum am anun\u021bat \u0219i pe Facebook, asta e replica mea \u00een oglind\u0103 la articolul scris de Lorena.<\/p>\n

Totul a pornit de la o discu\u021bie, despre acest curent al anumitor b\u0103rba\u021bi care cred c\u0103 \u0219tiu tot, c\u0103 de\u021bin adev\u0103rul suprem,\u00a0 dar care uit\u0103 cel mai elementar lucru \u2013 c\u0103 sunt ceea ce sunt azi, adic\u0103 fiin\u021be vii, datorit\u0103 unei femei \u2013 mama lor. \u0218i pentru c\u0103 astfel de ,,tipi” au fost \u0219i, din p\u0103cate, cu siguran\u021b\u0103 c\u0103 vor mai fi, cum voi vorbi eu ca tat\u0103 cu fata mea adolescent\u0103?<\/p>\n

Cum voi vorbi eu ca tat\u0103 cu ea care are 15-16 ani, fat\u0103 care are se dezvolt\u0103, e curioas\u0103, e adolescent\u0103, care e prezent\u0103 pe Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, are canal Youtube \u0219i are de a face cu tot felul de ,,tipi”?<\/p>\n

Fac o mic\u0103 parantez\u0103 \u0219i va ata\u0219ez un text dintr-un moment semnat Trevor Noah, un cunoscut stand-up comediant.<\/p>\n

,, <<Don’t be undefined pussy>> nu e o insult\u0103. Dac\u0103 un b\u0103rbat \u00eei spune asta unui b\u0103rbat, cel care prime\u0219te expresia ar trebui s\u0103 fie m\u00e2ndru. Hai s\u0103 ne g\u00e2ndim pu\u021bin. To\u021bi avem mame, \u0219tim to\u021bi pe unde am ie\u0219it.<\/p>\n

Noi, ca b\u0103rba\u021bi, am ie\u0219it de acolo, iar apoi totul e devenit la normal. <>. Va func\u021biona ca \u0219i c\u00e2nd nimic nu s-a \u00eent\u00e2mplat. \u0218i totu\u0219i, un om a ie\u0219it pe acolo. Acum \u00eencerca\u021bi voi s\u0103 sta\u021bi pe un penis. Se rupe instant.
\nA\u0219a c\u0103, dragi masculi, dac\u0103 vre\u021bi s\u0103 adresa\u021bi insulte, dac\u0103 vre\u021bi s\u0103 \u00eel face\u021bi pe cel de l\u00e2ng\u0103 voi s\u0103 se simt\u0103 slab, f\u0103r\u0103 vlag\u0103, pute\u021bi s\u0103 \u00eei spune\u021bi a\u0219a <<Don’t be a penis>>.
\nPentru c\u0103, dac\u0103 mie \u00eemi spune cineva s\u0103 nu fiu <undefined pussy>, eu vreau s\u0103 fiu, sunt m\u00e2ndru s\u0103 fiu at\u00e2t de puternic, de elastic, de flexibil.”<\/p>\n

-Noah Trevor.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Plec\u00e2nd de la acest text, mi-am imaginat c\u00e2teva scenarii realiste.<\/p>\n

E\u0219ti femeie, ai acelea\u0219i drepturi ca el, pe orice plan<\/strong><\/p>\n

Caz \u2013 Are 16 ani \u0219i prime\u0219te zilnic sute de mesaje pe messenger, comentarii tenden\u021bioase, aluzii grobiene.
\nNu \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103tor am numit aceast\u0103 introducere a\u0219a. Dac\u0103 e\u0219ti femeie, ai exact acelea\u0219i drepturi ca el. Inclusiv \u00een limbaj. Dac\u0103 nu \u00een\u021beleg atunci c\u00e2nd vorbe\u0219ti cu ei distant \u0219i cizelat, po\u021bi s\u0103-i invingi cu propriile arme. Exist\u0103 o vorb\u0103 – ,,Cu samuraii lup\u021bi precum samuraii, cu t\u00e2lharii te por\u021bi precum t\u00e2lharii”.
\nN-are sens s\u0103 crezi c\u0103 \u00ee\u021bi pierzi feminitatea \u0219i elegan\u021ba dac\u0103 folose\u0219ti \u00eenjur\u0103turile pe care le folosesc \u0219i ei, dac\u0103 le vorbe\u0219ti de la nivelul lor. Nu spun s\u0103 faci asta cu to\u021bi \u0219i din prima, dar nu rezolvi doar cu block, pentru c\u0103 \u00ee\u0219i vor face alt cont. Trebuie s\u0103 vad\u0103 c\u0103 nu te panicheaz\u0103 limbajul lor \u0219i po\u021bi s\u0103 \u00eei \u00eenfrun\u021bi cu elegan\u021b\u0103 \u0219i stil, dar pe limba lor.<\/p>\n

Ai dreptul s\u0103 alegi pe cine vrei c\u00e2nd vrei atunci c\u00e2nd te sim\u021bi tu preg\u0103tit\u0103 pentru via\u021ba ta sexual\u0103<\/strong><\/p>\n

Caz: – Are 16 ani \u0219i vor b\u0103rba\u021bii s\u0103 o cunoasc\u0103 offline, e sunat\u0103 cu video call de necunoscu\u021bi, unii o amenin\u021b\u0103 \u0219i devin violen\u021bi verbal pentru c\u0103 le refuz\u0103 avansurile, al\u021bii trimit fotografii pornografice.
\nO femeie trebuie s\u0103 \u00ee\u0219i accepte sexualitatea. \u0218i mai mult, poate s\u0103 fac\u0103 sex asumat cu ce b\u0103rba\u021bi vrea ea, c\u00e2nd vrea ea, cum vrea ea. \u0218i tu trebuie s\u0103 fii la fel. Nu conteaz\u0103 c\u0103 mul\u021bi par c\u0103 vorbesc aceea\u0219i limb\u0103 plin\u0103 de cli\u0219ee \u0219i vulgarit\u0103\u021bi. Nu suntem to\u021bi a\u0219a, nu sunt to\u021bi a\u0219a. Trebuie s\u0103 ai r\u0103bdare \u0219i s\u0103-i cau\u021bi pe cei care sunt altfel.<\/p>\n

Trebuie s\u0103 \u0219tii s\u0103 \u00eei refuzi, \u0219i dac\u0103 nu merge s\u0103-i blochezi, po\u021bi s\u0103 \u00eei ataci cu propriile arme. \u00ce\u021bi trimit poze pornografice? R\u00e2zi de prostia lor. Vor s\u0103 te vad\u0103? Insist\u0103 s\u0103 te vad\u0103? D\u0103-le adrese fake \u0219i trimite-i pe coclauri.<\/p>\n

(Not\u0103 Lorena: Nu, nu le da adrese fake. “NU m\u0103 interesezi” ar trebui s\u0103 fie good enough. Repetat p\u00e2n\u0103 se aude \u015fi la recep\u0163ie.<\/em>)<\/p>\n

Sunt o groaz\u0103 de locuri pe Google Maps unde nu prea ajunge nimeni. Ajut\u0103-i s\u0103 devin\u0103 exploratori \ud83d\ude42
\nS\u0103 nu faci gre\u0219eala s\u0103 crezi c\u0103 to\u021bi b\u0103rba\u021bii sunt la fel, \u015fi c\u0103 oricum orice femeie \u00ee\u0219i pierde la un moment dat virginitatea. Nu trebuie s\u0103 le cedezi doar pentru c\u0103 vor ei, c\u00e2nd vor ei. Respect\u0103-te pe tine, respect\u0103 tot ce \u021bine de corpul t\u0103u.
\nNu te l\u0103sa intimidat\u0103, iar dac\u0103 trec la amenin\u021b\u0103ri virulente f\u0103-le public\u0103 identitatea. Sunt trolli \u0219i au poze fake? Sunt \u0219i alte metode de identificare. La v\u00e2rsta ta, ai drepturi, \u0219i niciodat\u0103 s\u0103 nu cedezi la amenin\u021b\u0103rile lor.
\nSim\u021bi c\u0103 nu mai po\u021bi din cauza lor \u0219i a presiunii pe care o fac? Vorbe\u0219te cu mine.<\/p>\n

E\u0219ti femeie, fii c\u00e2t po\u021bi de inteligent\u0103 \u2013 emo\u021bional, sentimental, ra\u021bional, social<\/strong><\/p>\n

Caz: Are 16 ani \u0219i prime\u0219te cadouri, i se promit bani, avantaje sociale
\nCu c\u00e2t e\u0219ti mai inteligent\u0103 \u0219i mai ancorat\u0103 \u00een realitate, cu at\u00e2t tu, femeie smart, po\u0163i face fa\u021b\u0103 oric\u0103rui pr\u0103d\u0103tor cu frustr\u0103ri. Prin urmare, nu ai nevoie de banii lor, de propunerile lor indecente. Poate c\u0103 nu ai azi tot ce \u021bi-ai dorit, dar po\u021bi s\u0103 ai tot ce \u00ee\u021bi dore\u0219ti f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 faci compromisuri. Trebuie s\u0103 \u00eenve\u021bi c\u0103 nimic ce pare simplu nu e simplu. Un b\u0103rbat care te respect\u0103 nu o s\u0103-\u021bi cear\u0103 lucruri doar pentru ca \u00ee\u021bi ofer\u0103 lucruri.<\/p>\n

Vei cre\u0219te \u0219i vei \u00een\u021belege cum s\u0103 \u00ee\u021bi construie\u0219ti o rela\u021bie \u0219i s\u0103-\u021bi p\u0103strezi integritatea \u0219i independen\u021ba. Nu ai nevoie de un b\u0103rbat doar pentru c\u0103 societatea \u00ee\u021bi spune c\u0103 ai nevoie de unul. Alege un b\u0103rbat cu care s\u0103 \u00eempar\u021bi timpul t\u0103u doar atunci c\u00e2nd sim\u021bi c\u0103 el \u00eel merit\u0103.<\/p>\n

E\u0219ti femeie \u0219i nu datorezi nim\u0103nui nimic, nici m\u0103car un like.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Caz: Are 16 ani \u0219i este agasat\u0103 de tot felul de pr\u0103d\u0103tori sexuali
\nDac\u0103 prime\u0219ti sute de like-uri, comment-uri la fotografii sau post\u0103ri, asta nu \u00eenseamn\u0103 c\u0103 le datorezi ceva. E problema lor ce fac cu timpul lor. Nu datorezi nim\u0103nui nimic, nici m\u0103car un like sau un r\u0103spuns. Doar tu e\u0219ti st\u0103p\u00e2n\u0103 pe via\u021ba ta \u0219i pe propriul t\u0103u timp.<\/p>\n

Concluzii<\/strong><\/p>\n

C\u00e2nd am scris aceste r\u00e2nduri mi-am dat seama c\u0103 nu o s\u0103 fie deloc u\u0219or s\u0103 fii tat\u0103 de fat\u0103.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

S\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2na asta, bloggerul Bogdan D\u0103r\u0103dan de pe Presa\u00eenblugi mi-a propus s\u0103 facem schimb de guest posts. Subiectul a fost \u00een oglind\u0103. \u00cen lumina recentelor...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":16399,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-16397","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/bogdan-e1546985814904.jpg?fit=674%2C612&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16397","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=16397"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16397\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":16404,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16397\/revisions\/16404"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/16399"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=16397"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=16397"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=16397"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}