{"id":16420,"date":"2019-01-12T13:59:42","date_gmt":"2019-01-12T10:59:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=16420"},"modified":"2019-01-12T14:09:11","modified_gmt":"2019-01-12T11:09:11","slug":"catastiful-de-imbecilitati-sinistre-ma-cunosc-cu","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/catastiful-de-imbecilitati-sinistre-ma-cunosc-cu\/","title":{"rendered":"Catastiful de imbecilit\u0103\u0163i sinistre: M\u0103 cunosc cu…"},"content":{"rendered":"

Dragi credincio\u015fi,<\/p>\n

Ne-am adunat azi, aici, \u00een acest loc\u015for p\u0103r\u0103sit de Dumnezeu, s\u0103 r\u00e2dem de o apuc\u0103tur\u0103 gher\u0163oiasc\u0103. O apuc\u0103tur\u0103 de neam de traist\u0103 care, automat \u015fi f\u0103r\u0103 marj\u0103 de eroare, \u00ee\u0163i tr\u0103deaz\u0103 cocalarul impostor faker, etern f\u0103c\u0103tor pe interesantul pe baz\u0103 de absolut nimic.<\/p>\n

Iar acesta e momentul c\u00e2nd respectivul deschide orificiul bucal \u015fi \u00eencepe s\u0103 se dea rotund c\u0103 se cunoa\u015fte cu X, Y \u015fi Z. Vedete, politicieni, personalit\u0103\u0163i, figuri publice.<\/p>\n

De ce, a\u0163i \u00eentreba voi care, \u00een majoritatea voastr\u0103 cov\u00e2r\u015fitoare, sunte\u0163i oameni decen\u0163i \u015fi de bun sim\u0163, sau dac\u0103 nu, m\u0103car sunte\u0163i de un umor involuntar exploziv, c\u0103 altfel v\u0103 f\u0103ceam v\u00e2nt de foarte mult timp. De ce s-ar l\u0103uda cineva cu cunoscu\u0163ii lui celebri?<\/p>\n

E celebritatea o boal\u0103 contagioas\u0103?<\/p>\n

Hell no.<\/p>\n

E aptitudinea care l-a f\u0103cut pe \u0103la celebru contagioas\u0103?<\/p>\n

Hell no.<\/p>\n

E dificil s\u0103 ajungi s\u0103 te cuno\u015fti cu X \u015fi cu Y?<\/p>\n

\u00cen majoritatea cazurilor, e suficient s\u0103 te duci la om, s\u0103-i \u00eentinzi m\u00e2na \u015fi s\u0103-i spui: “Bun\u0103 ziua, m\u0103 numesc Gigel P\u0103sul\u0103, sunt student \u015fi \u00eemi pl\u0103ce\u0163i pentru c\u0103.”<\/p>\n

\u0102la sau aia o s\u0103 se simt\u0103 m\u0103gulit(\u0103) c\u0103 i se ofer\u0103 vibe pl\u0103cut \u015fi apreciere \u015fi va \u00eencepe o conversa\u0163ie extrem de amical\u0103, s\u0103-\u0163i absoarb\u0103 energia pozitiv\u0103.<\/p>\n

\u015ei pac! acum m\u0103 cunosc cu X.<\/p>\n

Nu e mare br\u00e2nz\u0103. Oricare dintre noi \u015fi dintre voi o poate face, dac\u0103 \u00ee\u015fi \u0163ine tendin\u0163ele antisociale sub control pe moment \u015fi bea un shot de vodc\u0103 \u00eenainte.<\/p>\n

“OK, dar eu chiar \u00eel cunosc bine pe X.”<\/p>\n

C\u0103 face conversa\u0163ie amiabil\u0103 cu tine c\u00e2nd v\u0103 ciocni\u0163i la Mega Image? C\u0103 st\u0103 la mas\u0103 cu tine dac\u0103 v\u0103 nimeri\u0163i \u00een aceea\u015fi c\u00e2rcium\u0103? Majoritatea oamenilor fac asta pentru c\u0103 au avut mame decente, care i-au \u00eenv\u0103\u0163at s\u0103-\u015fi trateze uman semenii.<\/p>\n

Dac\u0103 nu i-ai gre\u015fit cu ceva apoteotic, s\u0103 te \u0163in\u0103 minte \u015fi s\u0103 aib\u0103 motive s\u0103 te deteste, orice om normal care nu e pe super grab\u0103 o s\u0103 schimbe patru fraze de curtoazie cu tine la o petrecere \u015fi un high five dac\u0103 te vede la sal\u0103.<\/p>\n

\u00censeamn\u0103 asta c\u0103 investe\u015fte un rahat pansat \u00een interac\u0163iunea cu tine?<\/p>\n

Nu.<\/p>\n

\u00censeamn\u0103 doar c\u0103 nu e o bestie nemernic\u0103, apucat\u0103 de complexul scroafei suite \u00een copac. Adic\u0103, exact complexul care te ia pe sus pe tine, c\u00e2nd te dai rotund c\u0103 e\u015fti b\u0103gat \u00een seam\u0103 de X.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

\u00cen schimb, amuzant e modul \u00een care se manifest\u0103 ciumpalacii din categoria “M\u0103 laud c\u0103-i cunosc pe X, Y \u015fi Z” c\u00e2nd dau cu ochii de c\u00e2te o celebritate. Cum devin brusc c\u0103\u0163ei care dau din coad\u0103 \u015fi scheaun\u0103, cum vorbesc mult \u015fi degeaba, f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 scoat\u0103 o singur\u0103 fraz\u0103 populat\u0103 de o urm\u0103 vag\u0103 de inteligen\u0163\u0103, cum cer\u015fesc aten\u0163ie cu basca \u00een m\u00e2n\u0103, cu atitudinea miloag\u0103 a unui cer\u015fetor \u00een col\u0163 la Unirii.<\/p>\n

Sunt exact pionii pe care vedeta sau politicianul \u00eei folose\u015fte, din calcul strategic, s\u0103 propage pe calea zvonisticii – sau “pres\u0103”, cum i se mai zice la Bucure\u015fti – exact ce \u00eei convine s\u0103 propage. C\u00e2nd prostul se umfl\u0103 at\u00e2t de tare \u00een pene la asocierea cu tine, cum Dumnezeu s\u0103 nu-l transformi \u00een goarna ta? Cum Dumnezeu s\u0103 nu-i spui exact balivernele pe care vrei s\u0103 le auzi comentate de to\u0163i p\u0103reri\u015ftii, c\u00e2nd \u0103sta casc\u0103 gura la tine ca o invita\u0163ie deschis\u0103 s\u0103 intre musca?<\/p>\n

Stau \u015fi m\u0103 \u00eentreb c\u00e2nd m-am dat mare ultima oar\u0103 c\u0103-i cunosc pe X \u015fi pe Y, \u00een afara unui context dedicat \u00een mod special celebr\u0103rii sau comemor\u0103rii lui X sau lui Y. Sau \u00een alt cadru \u00een care aten\u0163ia era pe X sau Y, \u015fi a-i cunoa\u015fte \/ a vorbi despre ei era ideea evenimentului.<\/p>\n

De ce i-ar p\u0103sa interlocutorului c\u0103 \u00eei cunosc pe X \u015fi pe Y? Ce informa\u0163ie nou\u0103 aduce asta despre mine? A, c\u0103 \u015ftiu s\u0103 m\u0103 bag \u00een seam\u0103 public?<\/p>\n

Da, “am lucrat pentru X \u015fi pentru Y” e cu totul alt\u0103 m\u00e2ncare de pe\u015fte. Care \u00ee\u015fi are locul abia la pesc\u0103ria numit\u0103 “negocieri \/ taton\u0103ri profesionale”. C\u00e2nd faptul c\u0103 ai un portofoliu lung \u015fi cu prestigiu face diferen\u0163a.<\/p>\n

Da, dac\u0103 X sau Y spun c\u0103 “\u00eel cunosc pe Gigel P\u0103sul\u0103, mare om, mare caracter”, se mai schimb\u0103 ceva.<\/p>\n

Dar, cum se \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103 mereu c\u00e2nd Gigel P\u0103sul\u0103 se laud\u0103 c\u0103-i \u015ftie pe X \u015fi pe Y, \u015fi \u0103sta e punctul lui de umflare \u00een pene, reac\u0163ia cea mai probabil\u0103 a lui X sau a lui Y e s\u0103 se uite lung la tine \u015fi s\u0103 \u00eentrebe: “Cine?”. Apoi s\u0103 dea vizibil un goag\u0103l mintal, c\u0103ut\u00e2nd s\u0103 lipeasc\u0103 numele de vreuna din nenum\u0103ratele fe\u0163e de care se ciocnesc zilnic. Apoi \u0163i se scuz\u0103: “Iart\u0103-m\u0103, cred c\u0103 am uitat s\u0103-mi iau lecitina la timp”.<\/p>\n

To\u0163i r\u00e2dem de posesorul de Jeep care st\u0103 pe o alee semicentral, \u015fi blocheaz\u0103 traficul bietei str\u0103du\u0163e cu ditamai matahala achizi\u0163ionat\u0103 s\u0103 compenseze lipsuri \u00een alte domenii \u015fi c\u00e2mpuri de ac\u0163iune. Dar, de bine de r\u0103u, m\u0103car posesorul de Jeep a f\u0103cut un efort: de a munci, de a fura, de a face m\u00e2n\u0103rii, de a respecta legea sau a o abuza pe cale anal\u0103, \u015fi \u015fi-a achizi\u0163ionat Jeepul pe merite proprii.<\/p>\n

Pe c\u00e2nd gigelul care “cunoa\u015fte” figuri publice, \u015fi \u0163i se d\u0103 mare cu asta, se \u00eemp\u0103uneaz\u0103, prin asociere, cu chestii la care nu a contribuit cu nimic.<\/p>\n

Obiectiv, dac\u0103 am merge pe ideea postului cre\u015ftinesc \u015fi ne-am propune to\u0163i s\u0103 \u0163inem abstinen\u0163\u0103 de l\u0103ud\u0103ro\u015fenie \u015fi fanfaronad\u0103 miercuri \u015fi vineri, lumea asta ar fi un loc mult mai suportabil.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

\u00ce\u0163i plac textele Trollywood? Po\u0163i sus\u0163ine \u015fi tu proiectul.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

***
\nVrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe Twitter<\/a><\/strong> \u015fi Instagram<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Dragi credincio\u015fi, Ne-am adunat azi, aici, \u00een acest loc\u015for p\u0103r\u0103sit de Dumnezeu, s\u0103 r\u00e2dem de o apuc\u0103tur\u0103 gher\u0163oiasc\u0103. O apuc\u0103tur\u0103 de neam de traist\u0103...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":15803,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-16420","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/Ion-Iliescu.jpg?fit=640%2C400&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16420","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=16420"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16420\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":16422,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16420\/revisions\/16422"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/15803"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=16420"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=16420"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=16420"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}