La un moment dat, o fat\u0103 din lista mea de Facebook a postat o fotografie cu Elena Udrea \u0219i noul ei iubit. Un tip frumos de-\u021bi c\u0103deau plombele. \u0218i m-am \u00eenscris \u0219i eu la cuv\u00e2nt: Omg, ce bine arat\u0103 tipul \u0103sta.<\/p>\n
Pffffoaaaa. Puhoi de remarci acide de la tipi de 40plus, cu aspect s\u0103 zicem mediu, despre cum noi, pi\u021bipoancele, nu apreciem b\u0103rbatul adev\u0103rat, \u0219i c\u0103 avem gusturi oribile, \u0219i de-aia o s\u0103 sf\u00e2r\u0219im descul\u021be \u0219i \u00eens\u0103rcinate \u00een mocirl\u0103, \u00een Gara de Nord.<\/p>\n
De\u0219i nu \u00eemi declarasem vreo inten\u021bie de a-l lua pe tip acas\u0103, sau ceva. Pur \u0219i simplu, constatasem c\u0103 e o pies\u0103 reu\u0219it\u0103. Adic\u0103, probabil ceea ce f\u0103cuser\u0103 to\u021bi participan\u021bii la muial\u0103 cu minimum 50 de femei pe strad\u0103 p\u00e2n\u0103 \u00een acel moment al zilei.<\/p>\n
Cea mai mare crim\u0103 a unui b\u0103rbat este frumuse\u021bea fizic\u0103.<\/p>\n
S-a v\u0103zut asta c\u00e2nd s-au propus, o dat\u0103 la tehnocra\u021bi \u0219i o dat\u0103 \u00een al nu \u0219tiu c\u00e2telea guvern PSD, mini\u0219tri care f\u0103cuser\u0103 modelling masculin, \u0219i care aveau pe net poze artistice \u00een diverse grade de dezbr\u0103care. Vaai de capul satului! Criz\u0103 c\u00e2t casa, predominant pe masculi, de zici c\u0103 aveam numai mini\u0219tri a\u0219i \u00een politic\u0103 \u0219i economie, zeii competen\u021bei, \u0219i taman \u0103ia vor strica aceste guvern\u0103ri perfecte.<\/p>\n
Dac\u0103 politicianul corupt avea chelie, burt\u0103, f\u0103lci triple \u0219i un ten ofilit de tutungiu, era ok.<\/p>\n
Cea mai mare crim\u0103 a unui b\u0103rbat este frumuse\u021bea fizic\u0103.<\/p>\n
\u0218i nu numai la nivel de lumea a treia, acest Teleorman generalizat care e Republica Retrograd\u0103 Rom\u00e2nia. Se vede \u0219i \u00een Hollywood, unde actorii cu tr\u0103s\u0103turi frumoase sunt for\u021ba\u021bi s\u0103 joace roluri plictisitoare de amorezi siropo\u0219i, \u0219i trebuie s\u0103 duc\u0103 lupte supraumane s\u0103 sparg\u0103 tiparul. M\u0103 rog, acum s-a mai atenuat treaba. Dar Leonardo de Caprio a trebuit s\u0103-\u0219i produc\u0103 singur primele filme \u00een care a ie\u0219it din bucla typecastingului, s\u0103 ajung\u0103 s\u0103 i se dea roluri complexe, ca \u0103la din The Revenant sau \u0103la din Django Unchained.<\/p>\n
2. B\u0103ie\u021bii care fac sal\u0103 sunt automat pro\u0219ti\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n Pentru c\u0103 “trag de fiare”, \u00een loc s\u0103 se ocupe de “lucruri profunde \u00een via\u0163\u0103”.<\/p>\n Dar dac\u0103 inspectezi \u00eendeaproape cu ce “lucruri profunde \u00een via\u0163\u0103” se ocup\u0103 criticii lor ur\u00e2\u0163i ca \u00eemprumutul nereturnat, descoperi activit\u0103\u0163i de mare angajament precum z\u0103cutul pe canapea ca o balen\u0103 e\u015fuat\u0103, ridicatul halbei de bere la c\u00e2rcium\u0103, comentatul de r\u0103ut\u0103\u0163i gratuite pe Facebook \u015fi pe forumuri \u015fi \u00eenjuratul femeilor c\u0103-s proaste \u015fi c***e.<\/p>\n Nu e deloc simplu s\u0103 ai un six pack. V-o zic eu, dup\u0103 ce la un moment dat am b\u0103gat c\u00e2teva luni de regim alimentar sportiv \u015fi antrenament zilnic, \u015fi tot ce am ob\u0163inut a fost s\u0103 scad cu un centimetru burtica de bere pe care o am \u00een zona inferioar\u0103 a abdomenului. Corpurile acelea perfecte se ob\u0163in cu un volum de munc\u0103, disciplin\u0103 \u015fi autocontrol la care noi, sp\u0103rg\u0103torii banali de semin\u0163e, nici nu putem visa.<\/p>\n C\u0103 acest volum de munc\u0103, disciplin\u0103 \u015fi autocontrol ar putea fi investite \u015fi \u00een altceva? Cine e\u015fti tu s\u0103 decizi? Poate acel altceva nu e la fel de tentant \u00een ochii omului respectiv ca faptul c\u0103 se bucur\u0103 de ceea ce vede \u00een oglind\u0103.<\/p>\n 3. To\u0163i trebuie s\u0103 avem o p\u0103rere despre tipii care investesc \u00een \u00eengrijirea personal\u0103.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n De c\u00e2te ori citesc c\u00e2te un articol, scris fie de o mizd\u0103 del\u0103s\u0103toare, fie de un gicu complet \u00eenfr\u00e2nt vizual, despre cum tipii care se vopsesc, epileaz\u0103, apeleaz\u0103 la mani-pedi sunt mizdifica\u0163i, fac febr\u0103 muscular\u0103 de la eye rolls.<\/p>\n A\u015fijderea la Teleormanul din comentarii.<\/p>\n S\u0103 recapitul\u0103m datele problemei: banii omului. P\u0103rul omului. Fa\u0163a omului. Corpul omului. Unde \u00een aceast\u0103 \u00een\u015firuire apare ceva ce e al nostru? A, dar stai, nic\u0103ieri. P\u0103i atunci, vorba unui romancier contemporan, Suge-o, Ramona.<\/p>\n Care e miza acestei lupte atroce pentru uglificarea b\u0103rbatului? De ce s\u0103 \u00eel oblig\u0103m s\u0103 aib\u0103 p\u0103m\u00e2nt sub unghii \u015fi pielea tocit\u0103 ca uli\u0163a satului, s\u0103 fie b\u0103rbat? De ce s\u0103 nu respect\u0103m dreptul intim al fiec\u0103ruia dintre noi de a ar\u0103ta exact cum vrea mu\u015fchiul nostru propriu din dotare?<\/p>\n B\u0103rba\u0163i, nu v\u0103 l\u0103sa\u0163i molesta\u0163i \u00een a ar\u0103ta ca dracu. Realitatea e c\u0103, atunci c\u00e2nd ar\u0103ta\u0163i bine, v\u0103 vedem. \u015ei \u00een cele din urm\u0103, pe noi vre\u0163i s\u0103 ne f***i, nu pe ur\u00e2\u0163ii care se simt amenin\u0163a\u0163i de voi.<\/p>\n Sau dac\u0103 v\u0103 plac al\u0163i b\u0103rba\u0163i, pariez c\u0103 nici \u00een acel caz nu sunt ur\u00e2\u0163ii care se simt amenin\u0163a\u0163i de voi.<\/p>\n 4. To\u0163i tipii sensibili sunt obligatoriu “gay”.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n De parc\u0103 a fi gay e un lucru r\u0103u.<\/p>\n Cum \u00eencearc\u0103 un b\u0103iat s\u0103 vorbeasc\u0103 despre emo\u0163ii \u015fi sentimente, e luat la b\u0103\u015fc\u0103lie atroce, umilit, f\u0103cut “beta” \u015fi “cuck”, de parc\u0103 n-ar fi tot fiin\u0163\u0103 uman\u0103, din carne \u015fi s\u00e2nge, perisabil\u0103, supus\u0103 fricilor \u015fi bolilor de toate tipurile.<\/p>\n \u015ei realitatea e c\u0103 o team\u0103 sau o problem\u0103 exprimat\u0103 e pe jum\u0103tate rezolvat\u0103. Lucrurile pe care le taci \u015fi le \u00eenghi\u0163i rod la tine precum cariile, \u015fi, \u00een cele din urm\u0103, ajung s\u0103 te nimiceasc\u0103 din interior.<\/p>\n De ce nu vezi dec\u00e2t b\u0103rba\u0163i lu\u00e2nd o arm\u0103 \u015fi \u00eempu\u015fc\u00e2nd mul\u0163imi pe ici \u015fi pe colo?<\/p>\n Pentru c\u0103 femeile, c\u00e2nd au o problem\u0103, o povestesc, pl\u00e2ng, se dau cu fundul de p\u0103m\u00e2nt, se aolesc \u015fi se descarc\u0103. Pe c\u00e2nd b\u0103rbatul e obligat s\u0103 interiorizeze \u015fi s\u0103 adune. C\u00e2t s\u0103 adune?<\/p>\n \u015ei nota bene: nu femeile \u00eei h\u0103r\u0163uiesc \u00een aceast\u0103 direc\u0163ie, ci taman confra\u0163ii lor masculi, care \u0163ip\u0103 la ei s\u0103 “fie b\u0103rba\u0163i”, s\u0103 “nu fie mizde” \u015fi s\u0103 “nu fie gay”.<\/p>\n 5. Tipii politico\u015fi \u015fi cu maniere sunt obligatoriu “p\u0103mp\u0103l\u0103i”.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n S-a v\u0103zut la Ateneu, c\u00e2nd Dacian Ciolo\u015f a s\u0103rutat m\u00e2na Vioric\u0103i. Pffffoaaa. P\u0103mp\u0103l\u0103ul. Pupincuristul. Slugarnicul. Te-ai dat cu pesedeul, coaeeeee.<\/p>\n \u0102mnu.<\/p>\n Se nume\u015fte codul bunelor maniere, \u015fi dac\u0103 p\u0103rin\u0163ii erau prea ocupa\u0163i s\u0103 \u0163i-l insufle, po\u0163i tu recupera cu un goag\u0103l.<\/p>\n Faptul c\u0103 \u00ee\u0163i \u015ftii interesele, c\u0103 ai scopuri clare \u015fi bine determinate, c\u0103 \u015ftii ce vrei de la via\u0163\u0103 nu se exclude reciproc cu aptitudinea de a te purta civilizat \u015fi elegant chiar \u015fi cu adversarii t\u0103i direc\u0163i.<\/p>\n Nimic nu mi se pare mai strong \u015fi mai subtil amenin\u0163\u0103tor dec\u00e2t for\u0163a de a-i z\u00e2mbi frumos unui om pe care \u00eel vei da la o parte.<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n \u00ce\u0163i plac textele Trollywood? Po\u0163i sus\u0163ine \u015fi tu proiectul.<\/p>\n *** Acum ceva vreme, scriam un text – sau, m\u0103 rog, mai multe – despre femeile-complici. Femeile care se aliaz\u0103 cu b\u0103rba\u021bii abuzivi pentru a...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":10414,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-16423","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/02\/Leonardo-Dicaprio.jpg?fit=1273%2C845&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16423","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=16423"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16423\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":16426,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16423\/revisions\/16426"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/10414"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=16423"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=16423"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=16423"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}![\"\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea-300x300.jpg?resize=300%2C300\")
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\nVrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe Twitter<\/a><\/strong> \u015fi Instagram<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"