Dac\u0103 cineva m-ar \u00eentreba cum a\u015f vrea s\u0103 arate paradisul, r\u0103spunsul meu ar fi: o cafenea cu fotolii moi, tangouri argentiniene \u00een surdin\u0103 \u015fi multe, multe pisici. Compania unei pisici e cel mai ieftin \u015fi natural calmant care exist\u0103 sub soare.<\/p>\n
Spre deosebire de pisic\u0103, prezen\u0163a ta e iritant\u0103 la maximum, detestabil\u0103 \u015fi sc\u00e2rboas\u0103. Tot ce spui e conceput \u00een mod special s\u0103 irite omul, s\u0103-l pun\u0103 \u00een disconfort \u015fi s\u0103 \u00eel prostdispun\u0103. Pentru c\u0103 nu ai nimic valoros de oferit \u015fi atunci te concentrezi \u00een a oferi venin \u015fi aere de superioritate.<\/p>\n
Avantaj: pisica.<\/p>\n
2). Pisicile sunt ni\u015fte animale extrem de curate.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n Nu doar c\u0103 se spal\u0103 toat\u0103 ziua, pe l\u00e2ng\u0103 b\u0103ile pe care (eventual) li le face omul, dar le \u015fi place s\u0103 doarm\u0103 \u00eentre rufele proasp\u0103t luate de la uscat. De aceea, blana lor miroase numai a detergent \u015fi balsam.<\/p>\n Pe c\u00e2nd tu miro\u015fi a hoit \u015fi a \u00eempu\u0163iciune.<\/p>\n Avantaj: pisica.<\/p>\n 3). Somnul cu pisici este cel mai bun anxiolitic.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n Oric\u00e2t de stresat \u015fi panicat ar fi omul \u00een leg\u0103tur\u0103 cu provoc\u0103rile zilnice, \u00een secunda \u00een care se bag\u0103 \u00een pat cu pisica \u00een bra\u0163e, \u015fi pisica \u00eencepe s\u0103 respire regulat \u015fi s\u0103 toarc\u0103 fin, starea aia de lini\u015fte interioar\u0103 se transmite automat.<\/p>\n Cel mai bun yoga master ever e adoptabil la primul ad\u0103post aflat la dou\u0103 str\u0103zi de tine.<\/p>\n Cred c\u0103 nu exist\u0103 somn mai profund, mai odihnitor \u015fi mai re\u00eenvigorant dec\u00e2t acela cu o pisic\u0103 \u00een bra\u0163e.<\/p>\n Pe c\u00e2nd dormitul cu b\u0103rba\u0163i… not my cup of tea. Unii iau plapuma de pe tine \u015fi se \u00eenf\u0103\u015foar\u0103 \u00een ea, al\u0163ii te \u00eemping p\u00e2n\u0103 dormi pe marginea patului, al\u0163ii sfor\u0103ie de zici c\u0103 au deschis uzin\u0103 pe PFA, al\u0163ii \u00ee\u015fi pun toate ciolanele pe tine.<\/p>\n Avantaj: pisica.<\/p>\n 4). Pisica nu are comentarii t\u00e2mpite despre p\u0103r \/ machiaj \/ \u0163inut\u0103.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n Dac\u0103 port albastru – marin la ochi \u015fi mov prun\u0103 pe buze, e dintr-un singur motiv: C\u0102 A\u015eA CONSIDER\u0102 MU\u015eCHIUL MEU. \u015ei nu am de ce s\u0103 ofer \u015fi alte justific\u0103ri. A\u015fa vreau eu s\u0103 ar\u0103t, a\u015fa ar\u0103t, cui nu-i place s\u0103 scrie la neamuri.<\/p>\n \u015ei hai s\u0103 zicem, c\u00e2nd obiec\u0163ia e a tipului cu care e\u015fti, mai treac\u0103 – mearg\u0103. Dar fiecare sulic\u0103 fr\u00e2naru cu un cont de Facebook, total ne\u00eentrebat, se consider\u0103 calificat s\u0103-\u0163i spun\u0103 ce s\u0103 por\u0163i, cum s\u0103 por\u0163i \u015fi de ce a\u015fa, \u015fi de ce nu a\u015fa, de zici c\u0103 \u015fedin\u0163a foto fusese pe cheltuiala lor.<\/p>\n Iar punctul \u00een care chiar m\u0103 enervez e “Nu ai nevoie de makeup”.<\/p>\n Dar de c\u00e2nd plm e\u015fti tu decident pe nevoile mele, vierme?<\/p>\n Pisica te iube\u015fte \u015fi c\u00e2nd ai un curcubeu pe pleoape, unul pe buze \u015fi unul \u00een p\u0103r, pentru simplul fapt c\u0103 e\u015fti tu.<\/p>\n Avantaj: pisica.<\/p>\n 5. Pisicii nu \u00eei pas\u0103 cui vrei s\u0103 mai placi.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n Pe acelea\u015fi forumuri, reddituri, siteuri, afli c\u0103 dac\u0103 femeia se \u00eembrac\u0103 frumos, sau \u00ee\u015fi face fotografii \u00een costume de baie, sau… m\u0103 rog, orice alt look \u00een afara cenu\u015fii \u00een cap \u015fi sacului de rafie luat din Obor pe corp, vrea s\u0103 plac\u0103 sigur \u015fi altuia.<\/p>\n S\u0103-\u015fi plac\u0103 sie\u015fi e exclus pentru c\u0103, nu-i a\u015fa, femeia nu e om \u015fi nu are voie s\u0103 se bucure de propriul stil.<\/p>\n Chiar nu m\u0103 intereseaz\u0103 s\u0103 justific cui vreau s\u0103 mai plac, dar, basically, tuturor directorilor de casting \u015fi firmelor care vor s\u0103 dea publicitate pe lorenalupu.com. Deci, foarte multora.<\/p>\n Avantaj: pisica.<\/p>\n 6) Pisica are nevoi simple \u015fi clare.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n O m\u00e2\u0163\u0103 vrea de m\u00e2ncare, \u015fi nu face multe mofturi legat de aspectul \u015fi varietatea m\u00e2nc\u0103rii. Vrea nisip curat o dat\u0103 pe zi. \u015ei tratament medical nu vrea, dar oferi tu, c\u0103 o vrei s\u0103n\u0103toas\u0103 \u015fi voinic\u0103.<\/p>\n Spre deosebire de pisic\u0103, prostul vrea justific\u0103ri pe cum \u00ee\u0163i petreci timpul, op\u0163iunile tale de via\u0163\u0103, vrea s\u0103 nu c\u00e2\u015ftigi mai mult dec\u00e2t el, c\u0103 atunci nu se mai simpte mascul, s\u0103 \u00eei c\u00e2n\u0163i multe imnuri de slav\u0103, s\u0103-i faci masaj la ego \u015fi s\u0103 faci tot posibilul s\u0103 nu placi \u015fi altora.<\/p>\n Avantaj: pisica.<\/p>\n 7) Pisicile au un umor nebun.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n Orice st\u0103p\u00e2n de pisici poate confirma c\u00e2te giumbu\u015flucuri, tr\u0103sn\u0103i \u015fi boroboa\u0163e hazlii poate inventa o pisic\u0103. Sigur, mai sparge una-alta, dar por\u0163ia de r\u00e2s copios compenseaz\u0103 \u015fi d\u0103 \u015fi dob\u00e2nd\u0103.<\/p>\n Apoi s\u0103 nu vorbim despre mimica extrem de expresiv\u0103, fe\u0163ele de m\u0103sc\u0103rici \u015fi pozi\u0163iile corporale absolut ilare pe care le ofer\u0103 pisica, zi de zi.<\/p>\n \u015ei senza\u0163ia mea e c\u0103 o fac special s\u0103 r\u00e2zi.<\/p>\n Pe c\u00e2nd prostul \u015ftie doar s\u0103 enerveze.<\/p>\n Avantaj: pisica.<\/p>\n 8) Pisicile \u015ftiu s\u0103 ofere afec\u0163iune.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n \u015ei nu m\u0103 refer doar la torsul \u00een poal\u0103 sau de modul cum te \u00eempung juc\u0103u\u015f cu capul. M\u0103 refer la gesturi total nea\u015fteptate de tandre\u0163e ca atunci c\u00e2nd vii de la munc\u0103 \u015fi \u00ee\u0163i sar \u00een bra\u0163e; c\u00e2nd te-a plouat afar\u0103, f\u0103r\u0103 umbrel\u0103, iar ele \u0163i se urc\u0103 pe um\u0103r \u015fi \u00eencep s\u0103 te ling\u0103 \u00eengrijorate pe cap, s\u0103 nu r\u0103ce\u015fti. Sau, pur \u015fi simplu, c\u00e2nd adorm cu capul \u00een talpa ta. Sau c\u00e2nd \u00ee\u0163i iau m\u00e2na \u00eentre l\u0103bu\u0163e \u015fi \u00eencep s\u0103 te pupe pe degete.<\/p>\n O pisic\u0103 este un manual de tandre\u0163e 101. Pe c\u00e2nd prostul, dac\u0103-i zici ceva de tandre\u0163e, \u00ee\u0163i r\u0103spunde “n-am v\u0103zut categoria asta pe RedTube”.<\/p>\n Avantaj: pisica.<\/p>\n 9) Pisicile, c\u00e2nd sunt prost dispuse, se ascund \u00eentr-o cutie sau sub pat.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n \u015ei stau acolo p\u00e2n\u0103 se lini\u015ftesc, apoi vin la joac\u0103. Spre deosebire de prost, care nu rateaz\u0103 nici o ocazie s\u0103 latre verdictolog \u015fi \u00een total\u0103 necuno\u015ftin\u0163\u0103 de cauz\u0103 spre necunoscu\u0163i care nu l-au \u00eentrebat nimic.<\/p>\n \u015ei zece. \u015etiu, superficial. Dar.<\/p>\n 10) Pisicile sunt frumoase. E o pl\u0103cere s\u0103 te ui\u0163i la ele. La coloritul bl\u0103nii lor, la textura \u015fi fine\u0163ea acesteia, la ochii lor verzi, mari \u015fi migdala\u0163i, la irisul lor \u00eengust \u015fi exotic, la boticul lor mic, ca o bomboan\u0103.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n Pe c\u00e2nd prostul e absolut \u00eenfr\u00e2nt estetic \u00een majoritatea cazurilor.<\/p>\n Avantaj: pisica.<\/p>\n Data viitoare, \u00een loc s\u0103 te iei de pisica unui om care nu-\u0163i datoreaz\u0103 nimic, \u00eentreab\u0103-te: meri\u0163i tu mai mult\u0103 aten\u0163ie? Pe baza a ce? M\u00e2rl\u0103nie \u015fi tupeu? Nimeni nu-\u0163i datoreaz\u0103 s\u0103 \u0163i le suporte.<\/p>\n \u015ei \u00eemb\u0103tr\u00e2nirea cu o pisic\u0103 sun\u0103 de o mie de ori mai armonios, pa\u015fnic \u015fi pl\u0103cut dec\u00e2t \u00eemb\u0103tr\u00e2nirea cu idiot. Sorry about it.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n \u00ce\u0163i plac textele Trollywood? Po\u0163i sus\u0163ine \u015fi tu proiectul.<\/p>\n *** Cam prin 2012 au \u00eenceput primele forumuri \u015fi site-uri de alt right. Creatorii lor erau \u00een exclusivitate masculi la care nu se uita nici...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":8998,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-16441","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/pis.jpg?fit=960%2C960&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16441","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=16441"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16441\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":16448,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16441\/revisions\/16448"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/8998"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=16441"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=16441"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=16441"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}![\"\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea-300x300.jpg?resize=300%2C300\")
<\/a><\/p>\n
\nVrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe Twitter<\/a><\/strong> \u015fi Instagram<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"