{"id":16587,"date":"2019-02-07T11:20:58","date_gmt":"2019-02-07T08:20:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=16587"},"modified":"2019-02-07T11:46:24","modified_gmt":"2019-02-07T08:46:24","slug":"de-ce-nu-mi-as-pune-niciodata-silicoane","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/de-ce-nu-mi-as-pune-niciodata-silicoane\/","title":{"rendered":"De ce nu mi-a\u015f pune niciodat\u0103 silicoane"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Scandalul recent al italianului care f\u0103cea implanturi mamare f\u0103r\u0103 urm\u0103 vag\u0103 de calificare a f\u0103cut social media s\u0103 zb\u00e2rn\u00e2ie pe tema silicoanelor.<\/p>\n<p>Lu\u0103ri de pozi\u0163ii de un stupid \u015fi un penibil dureros: &#8220;dac\u0103 \u0163\u00e2\u0163ele-s false, de ce s\u0103 fie medicul real?&#8221; (vezi, boss, c\u0103 \u015fi implanturile dentare sunt false, \u015fi nu \u0163i-ai dori s\u0103 fie implementate de un stomatolog wannabe. \u015fi proteza auditiv\u0103 e fals\u0103, \u015fi nu \u0163i-ai dori s\u0103 fie fabricat\u0103 de doi b\u0103ie\u0163i brune\u0163i \u00een spatele blocului, \u015fi a\u015fa mai departe.)<\/p>\n<p>Comentarii intruzive de tip de ce le trebuie femeilor silicoane.<\/p>\n<p>Reac\u0163ii de expediere \u00een propria b\u0103t\u0103tur\u0103: &#8220;Pentru c\u0103 mi le-am pus din banii mei, nu din pensia m\u0103-tii, b\u0103i, boule!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>\u015ei fiecare nuan\u0163\u0103 \u00eentre aceste extreme.<\/p>\n<p>\u015ei iat\u0103 \u015fi versiunea mea: respect dreptul fiec\u0103ruia de a-\u0219i b\u0103ga ce vrea unde vrea, dar nu mi-a\u015f pune silicoane vreodat\u0103.<\/p>\n<p>*<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Dar, Lorena, ai scris c\u0103 pe la 153 de ani, c\u00e2nd o s\u0103 ai \u015fi tu primele semne de \u00eemb\u0103tr\u00e2nire, o s\u0103-\u0163i pui fillere \u00een fa\u0163\u0103, lifting facial \u015fi alte alea, acum o dai cotit\u0103?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Chiar nu. N-o dau cotit\u0103. O s\u0103-mi pun tot ce am zis c\u0103 \u00eemi pun.<\/p>\n<p>\u00cemi consider fa\u0163a un instrument de lucru, \u015fi a\u015fa cum un me\u015fter \u00ee\u015fi lustruie\u015fte mereu cu grij\u0103 uneltele, pl\u0103nuiesc s\u0103 lucrez cu acest instrument p\u00e2n\u0103 \u00een ziua mor\u0163ii.<\/p>\n<p>Pe de alt\u0103 parte, nu prestez activit\u0103\u0163i profesionale de natur\u0103 sexual\u0103, de aceea, nu am nici o problem\u0103 cu a avea s\u00e2ni mici. Dac\u0103 \u00eemi trimite cineva un scenariu \u00een care eroina se nume\u015fte Porneta Ionescu \u015fi are cup\u0103 dublu D, \u00eemi cump\u0103r cel mai amplu sutien push-up de pe tot internetul, \u00eel umplu cu tot raftul de \u015fosete, \u015fi gata Porneta Ionescu. Altminteri, nu v\u0103d de ce mi-a\u015f putea dori s\u00e2ni mai mari.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Nu m-am marketat niciodat\u0103 ca o persoan\u0103 sexy.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>S\u0103 zicem c\u0103 personajul public Lorena Lupu este o versiune un pic exagerat\u0103 \u015fi ceva mai condimentat\u0103 a personajului real Lorena Lupu. Dar niciodat\u0103 nu mi-am pus problema cum s\u0103 fac personajul public Lorena Lupu o persoan\u0103 pe care s\u0103-\u015fi doreasc\u0103 cineva s-o f&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>De aceea e hazliu c\u00e2nd vine Gigel cu &#8220;nu te-a\u015f f&#8230;&#8221;.<\/p>\n<p>EXAAACT! CHIAR NU ERA \u00ceN PLAN, MUL\u021aUMESC DE IMENSA U\u0218URARE.<\/p>\n<p>Caut intens oameni care s\u0103 nu vrea sub nici o form\u0103 s\u0103 m\u0103 f&#8230;, dar vor s\u0103 m\u0103 citeasc\u0103, s\u0103 comunic\u0103m idei \u015fi s\u0103 facem lucruri frumoase \u015fi bune \u00eempreun\u0103. De aceea, toat\u0103 via\u0163a mea am avut c\u00e2te un cel mai bun prieten gay, \u00eencep\u00e2nd din gr\u0103dini\u0163\u0103. Faptul c\u0103 nu c\u0103utau s\u0103 m\u0103 f*** aducea cu sine faptul c\u0103 nu jucau jocule\u0163e plicticoase, previzibile, de care n-are nimeni chef \u015fi r\u0103bdare, iar asta aducea cu sine faptul c\u0103 r\u0103m\u00e2neam buni prieteni \u015fi pe mai departe.<\/p>\n<p>\u015ei chiar c\u00e2nd fac o \u015fedin\u0163\u0103 foto, accentul nu e niciodat\u0103 pe c\u00e2t de sexy sunt eu. Dimpotriv\u0103. Nu prea z\u00e2mbesc, m\u0103 uit la camer\u0103 de parc\u0103 i-a\u015f propune privitorului s\u0103 mi-o prezinte pe m\u0103-sa.<\/p>\n<p>Iar c\u00e2nd \u0163inutele sunt volens &#8211; nolens sexy, adaug eu mereu un element clownesc, de joac\u0103 retardat\u0103, s\u0103 ne fie clar c\u0103 sex appealul nu are nici cea mai vag\u0103 urm\u0103 de seriozitate.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Protuberan\u0163ele de neam prost atrag numai neamuri proaste.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>S\u0103 ne uit\u0103m \u00eempreun\u0103 la acest video:<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<div class=\"video-container\"><span class=\"embed-youtube\" style=\"text-align:center; display: block;\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" class=\"youtube-player\" width=\"700\" height=\"394\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/_JphDdGV2TU?version=3&#038;rel=1&#038;showsearch=0&#038;showinfo=1&#038;iv_load_policy=1&#038;fs=1&#038;hl=en-US&#038;autohide=2&#038;wmode=transparent\" allowfullscreen=\"true\" style=\"border:0;\" sandbox=\"allow-scripts allow-same-origin allow-popups allow-presentation allow-popups-to-escape-sandbox\"><\/iframe><\/span><\/div>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u0102sta e un tip care c\u00e2nt\u0103 cum \u00eei plac femeile cu \u00eend\u0103r\u0103tu&#8217; mare. Dar mie nu mi-a pl\u0103cut niciodat\u0103 genul de mascul care ar compune o pies\u0103 despre funduri. Nu mi-a pl\u0103cut niciodat\u0103 cum trateaz\u0103 femeile acest gen de mascul. Mi s-a p\u0103rut mereu sc\u00e2rbos \u015fi vomitiv.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;So, ladies&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Yeah&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Ladies&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Yeah&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;If you want to roll in my Mercedes&#8230;&#8221; -No, thanks. Lu\u0103m metroul.<\/p>\n<p>Valabil \u015fi pentru s\u00e2nii c\u00e2t pepenii.<\/p>\n<p>Atrag cele mai scabroase, josnice \u015fi dezgust\u0103toare specimene. Mul\u0163umesc, NU, mul\u0163umesc.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Opera\u0163iile pot diminua sensibilitatea s\u00e2nului \u015fi a sf\u00e2rcului.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Sigur, depinde de cine face opera\u0163ia \u015fi ce mai taie pe l\u00e2ng\u0103. G\u0103se\u015fti femei care \u0163i se jur\u0103 c\u0103 nu s-a schimbat nimic, \u015fi femei care spun c\u0103 dup\u0103 ce \u015fi-au pus silicoane, au devenit total imune la mamelit. Dar e un risc.<\/p>\n<p>\u015ei eu stau \u015fi \u00eentreb: ce e mai important, s\u0103 ai corpul t\u0103u real, cu toat\u0103 sensibilitatea \u015fi\u00a0 capacitatea de a recepta pl\u0103cere pe care i-a dat-o natura, sau s\u0103 ai un corp aparent perfect, dar care nu simte pl\u0103cerea?<\/p>\n<p>Mul\u0163umesc, prefer s\u0103-mi p\u0103strez zonele erogene.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Senza\u0163ia de corp str\u0103in trebuie s\u0103 fie oribil\u0103.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>La un moment dat, pe la 13 &#8211; 14 ani, \u00een plin clocot hormonal, am avut un mic nod \u00een s\u00e2nul drept. Dincolo de faptul c\u0103 se sim\u0163ea la pip\u0103it, mai era \u015fi a dracu de iritant\u0103 diferen\u0163a de textur\u0103 \u015fi senza\u0163ia c\u0103 e ceva str\u0103in \u00een\u0103untru.<\/p>\n<p>Apoi, ciclul mi s-a reglat \u015fi nodul a disp\u0103rut singur. Cred c\u0103 nu era c\u00e2t un miez de alun\u0103. \u00cen schimb, era incomod \u00een draci. Nu vreau s\u0103 presupun cum e un pachet de silicon.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Siliconul apas\u0103 greu pe coloana vertebral\u0103.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Toate prietenele mele siliconate se pl\u00e2ng de spate. C\u0103 se simt obosite, c\u0103 le doare partea dintre umeri, c\u0103 tind s\u0103 mearg\u0103 coco\u015fate. Logic, nu?<\/p>\n<p>S\u00e2nii mari sunt grei. Indiferent dac\u0103 tragi dup\u0103 tine mormane de os\u00e2nz\u0103 natural\u0103 sau depozite de silicon. De ce s\u0103-\u021bi \u00eencarci coloana vertebral\u0103 cu a\u0219a ceva?<\/p>\n<p>Partea bun\u0103 care vine cu maturitatea c\u0103, dintre lucruri care arat\u0103 bine, dar dor, \u0219i lucruri care arat\u0103 okeish, dar sunt comode, o s\u0103-\u021bi alegi cu \u00een\u021belepciune a doua variant\u0103, \u0219i dac\u0103 tot te sim\u021bi comod, o s\u0103 se vad\u0103 asta altfel pe tine.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Pachetul de silicon se poate sparge. <\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Tr\u0103im vie\u021bi dinamice. Ne mi\u0219c\u0103m. C\u0103l\u0103torim. Umbl\u0103m cu diverse mijloace de transport. Nu \u0219tii c\u00e2nd se poate \u00eent\u00e2mpla un accident, \u0219i c\u00e2nd o lovitur\u0103 brusc\u0103 \u00ee\u021bi poate sparge punga de silicon. \u0218i de acolo, \u00eenc\u0103 o rund\u0103 de probleme medicale, pentru c\u0103 s\u00e2nii sunt \u0219i printre cele mai vulnerabile \u0219i predispuse la probleme p\u0103r\u021bi din corpul femeii.<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u0218i siliconul poate emigra \u00een diverse alte zone ale corpului.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Apoi te bagi din nou sub bisturiu s\u0103-\u021bi extrag\u0103 bo\u021bi de silicon \u00eent\u0103rit de la subsuori sau din zona abdominal\u0103. Practic, te umpli de cicatrici peste tot pentru o prostie.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Cancerul mamar e mai greu de detectat.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Cum, \u00een ultimul deceniu, toate formele de cancer par s\u0103 fie infinit mai r\u0103sp\u00e2ndite, toate femeile au recomandarea s\u0103 mearg\u0103 anual la ginecolog \u0219i s\u0103 se testeze pentru cancer la s\u00e2n \u0219i cancer de col uterin. Dar oricum, prima \u0219i cea mai str\u0103veche form\u0103 de detectare a neregulilor e b\u0103tr\u00e2na \u0219i bine cimentata pip\u0103ial\u0103. Dac\u0103 tot ce pip\u0103i e silicon, cum \u00ee\u021bi identifici eventualii noduli?<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u0218i \u00een definitiv, nu ob\u021bii iubire prin silicon.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Revenim la Sir Mix-A-Lot. S\u0103 zicem c\u0103, conform acestei magnifice piese, una care visa la el zi \u0219i noapte \u00ee\u0219i introduce o basculant\u0103 de silicon \u0219i vine cu fund\u0103 ro\u0219ie \u00een cap: Iat\u0103-m\u0103, voinicule, sunt exact cum ai zis tu c\u0103 vrei.<\/p>\n<p>Ce ob\u021bine?<\/p>\n<p>C\u00e2teva f**aiuri generice \u00een spirit de trofeu.<\/p>\n<p>Ai nevoie real\u0103 de a\u0219a ceva? Poate c\u0103 vecinul t\u0103u Costel, c\u0103ruia \u00eei pas\u0103 de persoana ta real\u0103, \u0219i nu doar de dimensiunile cu care defilezi, te-ar putea f*** cu mult mai mult suflet. \u0218i nici nu spargi at\u00e2\u021bia bani pe reconstruc\u021bie \u0219i terapie postoperatorie.<\/p>\n<p>***<\/p>\n<p>Foto: Alina B\u0103isan.<\/p>\n<p>\u00ce\u0163i plac textele Trollywood? Po\u0163i sus\u0163ine \u015fi tu proiectul.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/paypal.me\/Trollywood\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-medium wp-image-14577\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea-300x300.jpg?resize=300%2C300\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=300%2C300&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=150%2C150&amp;ssl=1 150w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=768%2C768&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=160%2C160&amp;ssl=1 160w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=320%2C320&amp;ssl=1 320w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=184%2C184&amp;ssl=1 184w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=600%2C600&amp;ssl=1 600w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=100%2C100&amp;ssl=1 100w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?w=931&amp;ssl=1 931w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>***<br \/>\nVrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe <a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/lorenaalmighty\/\"><strong>Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe <strong><a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/lorenalupu\">Twitter<\/a><\/strong> \u015fi <strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/lorena.lup\/\">Instagram<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Scandalul recent al italianului care f\u0103cea implanturi mamare f\u0103r\u0103 urm\u0103 vag\u0103 de calificare a f\u0103cut social media s\u0103 zb\u00e2rn\u00e2ie pe tema silicoanelor. Lu\u0103ri de&#46;&#46;&#46;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":16590,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-16587","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/IMG_8626-Edit-e1549527626218.jpg?fit=660%2C587&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16587","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=16587"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16587\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":16595,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16587\/revisions\/16595"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/16590"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=16587"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=16587"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=16587"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}