Nu sunt o zambil\u0103. Nu contramandez munc\u0103 \u0219i \u00eent\u00e2lniri \u00een zilele de ciclu. Nu m\u0103 sustrag convenabil de la efort, \u0219i \u00eemi duc \u00een picioare majoritatea bolilor.
\nDar gripa asta 2.0 vine cu o stare de ame\u021beal\u0103 brusc\u0103, de zici c\u0103 tocmai ai dat pe g\u00e2t o sticl\u0103 de vodc\u0103 ieftin\u0103, frisoane, temperatur\u0103, \u0219i o sf\u00e2r\u0219eal\u0103 general\u0103, de parc\u0103 s-a mutat Dragnea la tine acas\u0103.
\nTe bagi \u00een pat nu din fi\u021b\u0103, sau pre\u021biozitate, ci pentru c\u0103 starea aia de d\u00e2rd\u00e2ial\u0103 \u0219i oboseal\u0103 nu \u00ee\u021bi las\u0103 loc de ales. \u0218i \u00ee\u021bi sco\u021bi toate p\u0103turile \u0219i p\u0103turicile din dulap, peste plapum\u0103, s\u0103 te \u00eenc\u0103lze\u0219ti <\/p>\n
E ca \u0219i cum ai sinuzit\u0103, faringit\u0103 \u0219i bron\u0219it\u0103, toate deodat\u0103.<\/strong><\/p>\n Dureri intensive \u00een zona sinusurilor, cu secre\u021bii nazale de la verde papagal la portocaliu neon? Checked. O r\u0103gu\u0219eal\u0103 de zici c\u0103 vrei s\u0103 faci trup\u0103 tribut Rod Stewart? Checked? Tuse uscat\u0103, m\u0103g\u0103reasc\u0103, sup\u0103r\u0103toare? Checked. Dup\u0103 3-4 zile, \u00eencepi s\u0103 \u0219i scuipi ca un s\u0103m\u00e2n\u021bar de Rahova? Checked. Practic, tot sistemul t\u0103u respirator e \u00een r\u0103zboi cu tine. Deodat\u0103. <\/p>\n \u0218i spre deosebire de o r\u0103ceal\u0103 simpl\u0103, experimentezi o congestie nazal\u0103 extrem\u0103. Ai nasul umflat pe interior \u0219i nu po\u021bi respira prin el. Senza\u021bia e o combina\u021bie de m\u00e2nc\u0103rime, usturime \u0219i durere. <\/p>\n Cam a doua zi, \u00eencep s\u0103 te doar\u0103 to\u021bi mu\u0219chii.<\/strong><\/p>\n O amintire a mea din copil\u0103rie e cu o actri\u021b\u0103 unguroaic\u0103, care, \u00eentr-o zi, a intrat \u00een cabin\u0103 \u0219i a exclamat, \u00een timp ce se freca pe bra\u021be: “Ioi, i\u0219tenem, m\u0103 doare toat\u0103 trupa”. <\/p>\n Pe atunci, am r\u00e2s. Dar nu e de r\u00e2s s\u0103 te doar\u0103 toat\u0103 trupa, \u015fi c\u00e2nd faci o grip\u0103 din asta original\u0103, afli exact cum este. <\/p>\n Zici c\u0103 ai sclavagit pe c\u00e2mpul de bumbac. Zici c\u0103 te-ai antrenat pentru olimpiad\u0103. Zici c\u0103 te-a prins mafia \u015fi te-a b\u0103tut. \u015ei nu e doar durere muscular\u0103, e \u015fi oboseal\u0103 muscular\u0103, de parc\u0103 toate orele de munc\u0103 fizic\u0103 \u015fi sport din via\u0163a ta s-ar fi \u00eentors s\u0103 te b\u00e2ntuie, deodat\u0103. <\/p>\n Un drum p\u00e2n\u0103 la bud\u0103, s\u0103 faci un pipi, e un chin. Un drum p\u00e2n\u0103 la farmacie e ca o expedi\u0163ie \u00een Himalaya. \u015ei o s\u0103 te duci des la bud\u0103 pentru c\u0103: <\/p>\n \u00ce\u0163i e sete continuu. \u015ei bei litri de ap\u0103 \u015fi de ceai. Prin urmare, te pi\u015fi din zece \u00een zece minute.<\/strong><\/p>\n Niciodat\u0103 nu se exercit\u0103 circuitul apei \u00een natur\u0103 prin tine, ca \u00een momentul c\u00e2nd ai grip\u0103. <\/p>\n Nu \u0163i-e foame.<\/strong><\/p>\n Ca orice om cu tendin\u0163e de \u00eengr\u0103\u015fare, pre\u0163uiesc momentele \u00een care nu mi-e foame ca pe aur. Dar c\u00e2nd e\u015fti gripat, simpla idee c\u0103 ai putea \u00eenghi\u0163i ceva solid \u00ee\u0163i st\u00e2rne\u015fte o grea\u0163\u0103 de nedescris. \u015ei dac\u0103 for\u0163ezi, \u00een maximum zece minute, e\u015fti la baie \u015fi vomi\u0163i. Tot sistemul t\u0103u imunitar intr\u0103 \u00een r\u0103zboi.<\/strong><\/p>\n O par\u015fivenie maxim\u0103 a virusului este c\u0103 \u00ee\u0163i identific\u0103, cu precizie, toate glitchurile din firewall. Eu, de exemplu, am tendin\u0163e de rinit\u0103 alergic\u0103, ochi sensibili \u015fi o predispozi\u0163ie spre a face herpesuri la gur\u0103 la oboseal\u0103 sau sup\u0103rare. Dup\u0103 vreo trei zile, au \u00eenceput s\u0103-mi scad\u0103 febrele. \u00cen a patra zi, am reu\u015fit s\u0103 m\u0103n\u00e2nc o salat\u0103 de ton cu porumb, m\u0103sline \u015fi ceap\u0103. \u015ei s\u0103 nu m\u0103 mai doar\u0103 at\u00e2t de tare capul. Cam peste o s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2n\u0103 mi-am revenit suficient s\u0103 pot ie\u015fi la o plimbare. O plimbare dup\u0103 un astfel de episod de boal\u0103 e ca revenirea din iad. \u00ce\u0163i vine s\u0103 pl\u00e2ngi c\u0103 vezi oameni pe strad\u0103 \u015fi copaci. <\/p>\n Nu am scris asta s\u0103 m\u0103 victimizez. Dac\u0103 sunt victima a ceva \u00een acest caz, sunt strict victima propriei prostii. Am scris asta s\u0103 spun c\u0103 de\u015fi n-am murit, v\u0103d exact cum cineva mai vulnerabil ar fi putut foarte u\u015for s\u0103 dea col\u0163ul, \u015fi s\u0103 v\u0103 rog s\u0103 merge\u0163i s\u0103 v\u0103 face\u0163i vaccinul antigripal. <\/p>\n “Da, Lorena, dar eu sunt t\u00e2n\u0103r, s\u0103n\u0103tos \u015fi cu palo\u015ful gros, o s\u0103-i fac fa\u0163\u0103 cum i-ai f\u0103cut \u015fi tu.” <\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n \u00ce\u0163i plac textele Trollywood? Po\u0163i sus\u0163ine \u015fi tu proiectul.<\/p>\n *** Salut, sunt Lorena Lupu \u015fi a\u015f vrea s\u0103-mi fac coming out-ul: sunt cretin\u0103. P\u00e2n\u0103 nu demult, nu \u00een\u0163elegeam care e faza cu epidemiile anuale...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":16701,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-16699","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/thermometer.jpg?fit=640%2C426&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16699","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=16699"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16699\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":16702,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16699\/revisions\/16702"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/16701"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=16699"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=16699"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=16699"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nAu existat doar dou\u0103 alimente pe care le-am tolerat \u00een aceste dou\u0103 zile: portocalele \u015fi m\u0103slinele brune la vrac, versiunea f\u0103r\u0103 mult\u0103 sare.
\nPo\u0163i zice c\u0103 am \u0163inut diet\u0103 mediteranean\u0103. <\/p>\n
\nBuuun.
\nDac\u0103 \u015fi tu le ai tot pe astea, c\u00e2nd ai grip\u0103, rinita ta alergic\u0103 se va manifesta la cote maxime, vei avea ochii ro\u015fii de zici c\u0103 te distribuiser\u0103 \u00een Bram Stoker’s Dracula, \u015fi un \u015firag de herpesuri pe buza superioar\u0103, ca o musta\u0163\u0103 din iad. \u015ei de data asta nu m\u0103 refer la Dragnea.
\nDac\u0103 ai altele, gripa ta le va g\u0103si instant \u015fi va trece s\u0103 le zg\u00e2nd\u0103re. <\/p>\n
\nOK. Dar, cum virusul e extrem de contagios, poate i-l transmi\u0163i \u015fi bunic\u0103-tii b\u0103tr\u00e2ne \u015fi bolnave. Iar ea s-ar putea s\u0103 nu fac\u0103 fa\u0163\u0103. <\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea-300x300.jpg?resize=300%2C300\")
<\/a><\/p>\n
\nVrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe Twitter<\/a><\/strong> \u015fi Instagram<\/a><\/strong>. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"