{"id":16766,"date":"2019-03-02T14:01:39","date_gmt":"2019-03-02T11:01:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=16766"},"modified":"2019-03-03T02:52:27","modified_gmt":"2019-03-02T23:52:27","slug":"fir-de-bancuri-absolut-gretoase","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/fir-de-bancuri-absolut-gretoase\/","title":{"rendered":"Fir de bancuri absolut gre\u021boase"},"content":{"rendered":"

Mbun. Azi e s\u00e2mb\u0103t\u0103, nu e ziua interna\u021bional\u0103 a nimic din c\u00e2te \u0219tiu, e o zi relaxat\u0103, \u0219i v\u0103 propun specialitatea mea preferat\u0103 de umor: umorul deosebit de bolnav \u0219i de gre\u021bos. <\/p>\n

Pentru mimoze \u0219i zambile, trigger warning. Nu vreau s\u0103 aud \u00een comment section c\u0103 \u0103vai, inima, s\u0103ruri, le\u0219in. Continuarea citirii mai departe implic\u0103 acceptul vostru c\u0103 vre\u021bi s\u0103 citi\u021bi bancuri porcoase. <\/p>\n

Pentru restul popula\u021biei, bancul dezgust\u0103tor al zilei: <\/p>\n

Un tip se duce la bordel. E primit cu onoruri \u0219i o gagic\u0103 \u00eembr\u0103cat\u0103 sumar, unduind din fese, \u00eei ofer\u0103 meniul cu pre\u021buri.
\nTrece razant peste banalit\u0103\u021bi. Ajunge la specialitatea casei: sex orbital, 5000 de dolari.
\nOmul e biruit de curiozitate, marcheaz\u0103 lovela \u0219i cere specialitatea casei.
\nE dus cu onoruri (altele dec\u00e2t cele de mai sus) \u00eentr-un penthouse luxos, unde \u00eel a\u0219teapt\u0103 o b\u0103tr\u00e2nic\u0103.
\n“S\u0103ru’ mana, mamaie. Te deranjez pentru sexul \u0103la orbital, specialitatea casei. \u0218tii ceva?”
\n“Da, cum s\u0103 nu?” zice baba.
\n\u00ce\u0219i scoate ochiul de sticl\u0103 \u0219i murmur\u0103 lasciv:
\n“Hai, voinicule, d\u0103-mi-o tare \u00een orbit\u0103!”<\/p>\n

A\u0219tept comentarii cu bancurile absolut oribile, insult\u0103toare la adresa bunului sim\u021b, triggering \u0219i deeply offensive pe care le \u0219ti\u021bi. Dac\u0103 se adun\u0103 suficiente, fac un live pe Facebook cu ele. <\/p>\n

Update: <\/p>\n

Alina: <\/p>\n

Balaurul cu 3 capete. Un cap dormea, celelalte dou\u0103 b\u00e2rfeau:
\n-B\u0103, tu ai auzit c\u0103 \u0103sta ia muie?
\n-E fix problema lui, at\u00e2ta timp c\u00e2t nu face sex anal.<\/p>\n

Ilinca: <\/p>\n

Vasile \u0219i Maria: Ajunge Vasile acas\u0103, cu chef: Hai f\u0103, Marie, facem \u0219i noi ni\u0219te porno?
\nMaria se codea, Vasile insista.
\nMaria: b\u0103, Vasile, \u00ees cam obosit\u0103, f\u0103 tu porno \u00eentr-un pahar \u0219i beau io diminea\u021ba.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

\u00ce\u0163i plac textele Trollywood? Po\u0163i sus\u0163ine \u015fi tu proiectul.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

***
\nVrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe Twitter<\/a><\/strong> \u015fi Instagram<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Mbun. Azi e s\u00e2mb\u0103t\u0103, nu e ziua interna\u021bional\u0103 a nimic din c\u00e2te \u0219tiu, e o zi relaxat\u0103, \u0219i v\u0103 propun specialitatea mea preferat\u0103 de...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":14299,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-16766","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/trollface.jpg?fit=400%2C400&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16766","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=16766"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16766\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":16772,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16766\/revisions\/16772"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/14299"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=16766"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=16766"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=16766"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}