{"id":17040,"date":"2019-03-23T11:37:00","date_gmt":"2019-03-23T08:37:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=17040"},"modified":"2019-03-23T11:40:01","modified_gmt":"2019-03-23T08:40:01","slug":"cinci-moduri-in-care-un-manelist-e-o-persoana-mai-agreabila-decat-tine","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/cinci-moduri-in-care-un-manelist-e-o-persoana-mai-agreabila-decat-tine\/","title":{"rendered":"Cinci moduri \u00een care un manelist e o persoan\u0103 mai agreabil\u0103 dec\u00e2t tine"},"content":{"rendered":"

Acest text \u021bi se adreseaz\u0103 \u021bie. Da, \u021bie specific. \u021aie, care, f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 m\u0103 cuno\u0219ti, ai \u00eenceput s\u0103 m\u0103 \u00eempro\u0219ti cu ur\u0103, s\u0103 m\u0103 acuzi de toate t\u00e2mpeniile p\u0103m\u00e2ntului \u0219i s\u0103 sco\u021bi spume pe n\u0103ri pentru c\u0103 mi s-a p\u0103rut amuzant un moment de comedie cu o manea, \u00eentr-un an c\u00e2nd blockbuster interna\u021bional a fost Bohemian Rhapsody, al c\u0103rui lead era un tip brunet cu alur\u0103 exotic\u0103, \u00een maieu alb, nominalizat rom\u00e2n a fost Solda\u021bii. Poveste din Ferentari, al c\u0103rui lead era un alt tip brunet cu alur\u0103 exotic\u0103 \u00een maieu alb, \u0219i o minte \u0219ugubea\u021b\u0103 a trasat paralela ireveren\u021bioas\u0103.<\/p>\n

\u0218i doar pentru c\u0103 am explicat gluma \u00een loc s\u0103 dau ochii peste cap a sf\u00e2nt\u0103 indignare, mi-ai umplut sec\u021biunea de comentarii cu l\u0103turi.<\/p>\n

\u021ain s\u0103 te anun\u021b c\u0103 am cunoscut \u0219i cunosc iubitori de manele. \u0218i mul\u021bi dintre ei sunt, ca material uman, net superiori \u021bie.<\/p>\n

1. Sari la concluzii ca musca la fecale.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Orice om normal, cu doi neuroni func\u021bionali \u0219i capabili s\u0103 formeze o sinaps\u0103, aude c\u0103 s-a creat un moment cu o manea la un eveniment \u0218I \u00ceNTREAB\u0102: \u00een ce context?<\/p>\n

Care a fost conjunctura? Care a fost ambalajul?<\/p>\n

Prostul \u0219tie una \u0219i\u00a0 bun\u0103: huooo, manelele.<\/p>\n

Tu: Dar stai s\u0103 vezi care a fost faza.<\/p>\n

Prostul: A, deci tu \u00eei aperi, e\u0219ti \u0219i tu manelist\u0103 ciur\u0103reas\u0103 coc\u0103l\u0103reas\u0103 etc.<\/p>\n

Tu: Mai taci, b\u0103i, cretinule, c\u0103 am mai mult\u0103 vacan\u021b\u0103 dec\u00e2t ai \u0219coal\u0103 tu cu neamul t\u0103u.<\/p>\n

Prostul: Nu tac, huooo manelele, traseisto panaramo inkult-o.<\/p>\n

Stau s\u0103 m\u0103 g\u00e2ndesc dac\u0103 am v\u0103zut vreodat\u0103 vreun manelist criz\u00e2ndu-se at\u00e2t de tare pe o tem\u0103 \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103toare, f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 \u0219tie\u00a0 povestea complet\u0103 \u0219i f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103-l intereseze s-o afle, dar jetonul meu e pe “nu”.<\/p>\n

2. Manelistul \u00ee\u015fi urm\u0103re\u015fte o pasiune, pe c\u00e2nd tu doar o ur\u0103.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Am v\u0103zut bucuria fanilor de manele c\u00e2nd am publicat acest top<\/strong><\/a>. Extrem de entuzia\u015fti, au propus alte \u015fi alte melodii, erau \u00eenc\u00e2nta\u0163i s\u0103 redescopere piese vechi; pe scurt, se distrau. Erau \u00een sec\u0163iunea mea de comentarii pentru c\u0103 le oferisem con\u0163inut care \u00eei \u00eenc\u00e2nta.<\/p>\n

\u00cen exact acela\u015fi mod, te \u00eempiedic\u0103 cineva pe tine s\u0103 mergi pe contul oficial de YouTube al lui Rammstein, al lui Robbie Williams sau al Celinei Dion s\u0103 orgasmezi intelectual la crea\u0163iunile lor?<\/p>\n

Asta \u00eei \u00eencurajez mereu pe to\u0163i venino\u015fii: nu sta aici, unde nu-\u0163i place. Mergi \u015fi identific\u0103 ce te face s\u0103 zb\u00e2rn\u00e2i pe interior.<\/p>\n

\u015ei ei: Aaaa, tu vrei doar aplaudaci.<\/p>\n

Adic\u0103, stai pu\u0163in. Tocmai \u00eemi spui c\u0103 e mai interesant pentru tine s\u0103 faci cocin\u0103 verbal\u0103 undeva, dec\u00e2t s\u0103 te bucuri onest \u015fi din inim\u0103 \u00een alt\u0103 parte.<\/p>\n

Avantaj, manelistul.<\/p>\n

3. \u015ei cum tu cau\u0163i doar pretexte de hate, nu explorezi nimic \u00een profunzime.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Am podul plin de sclifosi\u0163i plini de aere de superioritate \u015fi b\u0103\u015fini iridescente, care se vaiet\u0103 de halul de degradare al filmului rom\u00e2nesc. Dar nu s-au uitat la un film nou de la “Mihai Viteazul.” Care se vaiet\u0103 ce proast\u0103 e literatura de acum. Dar n-au citit o carte a unui contemporan vreodat\u0103. Care se vaiet\u0103 c\u0103 ne mor valorile. Dar nu dau nici o \u015fans\u0103 real\u0103 creatorilor din prezent, pentru c\u0103 “\u015ftiu ei mai bine”, pe netestate.<\/p>\n

M\u0103car manelistul e doctor docent \u00een subiect. \u015etie discografia complet\u0103 a lui Salam, Gu\u0163\u0103 \u015fi Adi Minune. \u015etie de unde se trage fiecare, ce \u015fcoli au f\u0103cut, sau ce copil\u0103rii au avut. Asta presupune devotament \u015fi d\u0103ruire, lucruri de care sclifositul preocupat doar s\u0103-i porc\u0103ie pe al\u0163ii \u015fi s\u0103 se dea el superior nu e c\u00e2tu\u015fi de pu\u0163in capabil.<\/p>\n

4. Manelistul \u00ee\u015fi pl\u0103te\u015fte arti\u015ftii.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

E caricatura asta cu omule\u0163ul Gopo cu sutarul \u00een frunte: dar pe de alt\u0103 parte, pe maneli\u015fti nu-i auzi niciodat\u0103 c\u0103 nu primesc sus\u0163inere de la stat.<\/p>\n

Iar cele dou\u0103 fenomene sunt str\u00e2ns intercorelate.<\/p>\n

Maneli\u015ftii \u00ee\u015fi fac titlu de m\u00e2ndrie din sumele pe care le pl\u0103tesc interpre\u0163ilor lor prefera\u0163i. Pe c\u00e2nd, la noi, \u0103\u015ftia “civiliza\u0163i”, o gr\u0103mad\u0103 de evenimente, gale, sindrofii trag de arti\u015fti s\u0103 vin\u0103 moca. \u015ei m\u0103 s\u0103turasem eu, prin periplul meu pe la revistele glossy ale patriei, de “f\u0103-ne rost de un actor care s\u0103 accepte gratis”.<\/p>\n

Apoi tot tu, dup\u0103 ce cau\u0163i s\u0103-l mocange\u015fti pe om din toate unghiurile: vaaai, dar de ce apare \u0103la \u00een spot, prosl\u0103vind PSD-ul?<\/p>\n

Pentru c\u0103, spre deosebire de tine, PSD-ul pl\u0103te\u015fte!<\/p>\n

\u015ei de c\u00e2te ori \u00eencepe c\u00e2te unul s\u0103-mi explice \u00een sec\u0163iunea de comentarii ce subiecte s\u0103 abordez \u015fi cum, iar eu \u00eel direc\u0163ionez spre cutiu\u0163a de dona\u0163ii a site-ului, \u0103la sare ca ars de zici c\u0103-l \u00eenjurasem. Adic\u0103, dac\u0103 Lorena nu e dispus\u0103 s\u0103 presteze dup\u0103 ordinele tale gratis, gata, \u00eencepe circul.<\/p>\n

De\u015fi, dac\u0103 to\u0163i \u0103\u015ftia care \u00eemi cer \u00een comentarii s\u0103 scriu despre subiectul X s-ar \u015fi revan\u015fa ca ni\u015fte maneli\u015fti, n-a\u015f mai avea nevoie de nici un fel de publicitate niciodat\u0103.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

5. \u015ei, la cap\u0103tul zilei, manelistul e mai distractiv la petreceri.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Nu e maneaua cine \u015ftie ce capodoper\u0103 filozofic\u0103, dar predispune la glume, dans \u015fi voie bun\u0103. Pe c\u00e2nd acreala ta agasant\u0103 predispune doar la acte de depravare cu deceda\u0163ii t\u0103i pe linie matern\u0103.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

\u00ce\u0163i plac textele Trollywood? Po\u0163i sus\u0163ine \u015fi tu proiectul.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

***
\nVrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe Twitter<\/a><\/strong> \u015fi Instagram<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Acest text \u021bi se adreseaz\u0103 \u021bie. Da, \u021bie specific. \u021aie, care, f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 m\u0103 cuno\u0219ti, ai \u00eenceput s\u0103 m\u0103 \u00eempro\u0219ti cu ur\u0103, s\u0103 m\u0103...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":17041,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-17040","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/gyp.jpg?fit=580%2C580&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17040","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=17040"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17040\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":17049,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17040\/revisions\/17049"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/17041"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=17040"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=17040"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=17040"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}