\u0218tiu c\u0103 timpul e pre\u021bios a\u0219a c\u0103 o s\u0103 trec la subiect: sunt c\u0103s\u0103torit de ceva ani ( nu dau prea multe detalii pentru a-mi proteja identitatea) \u0219i de la o vreme, lucrurile au \u00eenceput s\u0103 se r\u0103ceasc\u0103, de la r\u0103ceal\u0103 am trecut la certuri tot mai dese, jigniri etc. <\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n \u00cen fine, ne certam tot mai r\u0103u \u0219i tot mai des, dar nici unul nu f\u0103cea pasul s\u0103 plece, de\u0219i vorbeam tot mai des de divor\u021b sau separare…\u00a0 Ajunsesem s\u0103 \u00eemi doresc s\u0103-\u0219i g\u0103seasc\u0103 pe cineva, astfel \u00eenc\u00e2t s\u0103 m\u0103 p\u0103r\u0103seasc\u0103 \u0219i s\u0103 nu fiu eu cel care a p\u0103r\u0103sit. <\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n Dup\u0103 ceva timp, de\u0219i nu aveam nici un fel de indiciu,\u00a0 aveam sentimentul tot mai intens c\u0103 m\u0103 \u00een\u0219eal\u0103. Am avut apoi certitudinea, g\u0103sindu-i mailuri \u0219i mesaje pe whatsapp. <\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n Era \u00eentr-o rela\u021bie de peste un an cu o persoan\u0103 de 60+. Am avut un \u0219oc imens, nu mi-a venit s\u0103 cred, mai ales c\u0103 eu am fost fidel, nu c\u0103 a\u0219 fi de o moralitate exemplar\u0103, dar toate certurile noastre m\u0103 f\u0103ceau s\u0103 nu am chef de nimic, cu at\u00e2t mai mult de \u00een\u0219elat. P\u00e2n\u0103 la urm\u0103 am analizat situa\u021bia, toate g\u00e2ndurile mele \u0219i am con\u0219tientizat c\u0103 \u0219i eu am \u00eempins-o c\u0103tre asta, am luat-o de la zero \u0219i totul a fost ok. <\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n Din p\u0103cate, \u00een ultimul timp am re\u00eenceput s\u0103 m\u0103 g\u00e2ndesc la rela\u021bia ei, la cum o atingea, cum o \u021binea \u00een bra\u021be \u0219i la faptul c\u0103 toate astea se \u00eent\u00e2mplau cu un mo\u0219neag… <\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n Suntem acum \u00eentr-o pasa foarte proast\u0103 \u0219i nu \u0219tiu cum s\u0103 ne rec\u0103p\u0103t\u0103m lini\u0219tea, pentru c\u0103 ea m\u0103 simte c\u00e2nd m\u0103 g\u00e2ndesc la trecut, \u00eencep s\u0103 m\u0103 comport iar aiurea \u0219i mi-e team\u0103 c\u0103 povestea s\u0103 nu se repete. <\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n Mul\u021bumesc dac\u0103 ai citit p\u00e2n\u0103 aici \u0219i apreciez orice sfat.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n X.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n *<\/p>\n Drag\u0103 X.,<\/p>\n Cli\u0219eul favorit al misoginilor este c\u0103 b\u0103rba\u021bii sunt ra\u021bionali \u0219i femeile sunt emo\u021bionale, dar modul \u00een care se comport\u0103 mul\u021bi dintre voi sugereaz\u0103 opusul. Adic\u0103: tu \u0219tii c\u0103 te voiai p\u0103r\u0103sit, \u0219tii c\u0103 sperai s\u0103 te \u00een\u0219ele, \u0219i totu\u0219i, c\u00e2nd a f\u0103cut-o \u00een cele din urm\u0103, ai \u00eencasat-o ca pe un imens \u0219oc.<\/p>\n \u0218i de\u0219i te numeri printre acei – extrem de pu\u021bini\u00a0 –\u00a0 b\u0103rba\u021bi suficient de asuma\u021bi \u0219i de puternici \u00eenc\u00e2t s\u0103 \u00ee\u0219i admit\u0103 propriile ac\u021biuni, iar pentru acest lucru te felicit, totu\u0219i nu te po\u021bi opri s\u0103 nu te g\u00e2nde\u0219ti c\u0103 a atins-o altcineva, iar acest lucru te face gelos.<\/p>\n Dar nu gelos la modul superficial, ci \u00een a\u0219a hal de gelos, \u00eenc\u00e2t, dup\u0103 cum spui tu, “\u00eencep iar s\u0103 m\u0103 comport aiurea”. Ca \u015fi cum comportamentul ar fi ceva complet independent de voin\u0163a \u015fi ra\u0163iunea ta.<\/p>\n De ce cred eu c\u0103 ai nevoie \u00een situa\u0163ia asta?<\/p>\n Cred c\u0103 ai nevoie de c\u00e2teva s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2ni de singur\u0103tate.<\/p>\n Pentru c\u0103 tu \u015ftii, a\u015fa cum \u015ftiu \u015fi eu, c\u0103 acea aventur\u0103 e ceea ce ai provocat tu, iar faptul c\u0103 a avut-o \u015fi c\u0103 te-a trezit cu asta la realitatea faptului c\u0103 \u00eenc\u0103 o iube\u015fti e ceea ce v\u0103 \u0163ine \u015fi acum \u00eempreun\u0103.<\/p>\n Pentru c\u0103 dac\u0103 n-o iubeai pe femeia aia, informa\u0163ia c\u0103 te \u00een\u015fal\u0103 ar fi venit ca o imens\u0103 u\u015furare. Ie\u015firea din infern. Puteai s\u0103 joci cu gra\u0163ie rolul so\u0163ului care e suficient de generos s\u0103 se duc\u0103 cu ea de m\u00e2n\u0103 la notar, s\u0103 se despart\u0103 prieteni \u015fi s\u0103 mai ie\u015fi\u0163i la beri periodic.<\/p>\n Dar ca s\u0103 \u0163i se clarifice toate lucrurile astea, s\u0103 te lini\u015fte\u015fti, s\u0103 \u00ee\u0163i asumi partea de responsabilitate la modul matur \u015fi s\u0103 nu-\u0163i la\u015fi orgoliul s\u0103 judece \u00een locul t\u0103u, ai nevoie de o lun\u0103 de locuit singur, f\u0103r\u0103 discu\u0163ii de genul hai, iubi, iar n-ai dus gunoiul, frate, dar schimb\u0103 o dat\u0103 becul \u0103la, c\u00e2t s\u0103 m\u0103 rog de tine \u015fi de ce pana mea nu cumperi p\u00e2ine, dac\u0103 \u015ftii c\u0103 ai terminat-o?<\/p>\n Tu spui c\u0103 te oftic\u0103 faptul c\u0103 a fost un mo\u015fneag. Crede-m\u0103, mo\u015fnegii nu-s at\u00e2t de r\u0103i. De obicei, au un mod de a trata femeile mai degrab\u0103 patern, ceea ce te duce \u00eenapoi la timpurile c\u00e2nd erai feti\u0163\u0103 mic\u0103 \u015fi r\u0103sf\u0103\u0163at\u0103, \u015fi taic\u0103-tu \u00ee\u0163i cump\u0103ra tot ce vedeai \u00een vitrine. \u0102hm, pe cele care au avut tat\u0103.<\/p>\n Pentru mine a fost o noutate \u00eenc\u00e2nt\u0103toare c\u0103, spre deosebire de cei de v\u00e2rsta mea, care se g\u00e2ndeau doar la p*** lor \u015fi la ce vor s\u0103 extrag\u0103 din mine, un b\u0103rbat de o v\u00e2rst\u0103 mai \u00eenaintat\u0103 c\u0103uta s\u0103 g\u0103seasc\u0103 moduri \u00een care s\u0103-mi fac\u0103 pe plac, \u015fi sincer: e ca o terapie de regenerare emo\u0163ional\u0103 de care, cred c\u0103 suntem de acord, tipa aia avea nevoie dup\u0103 ce tu \u00eei sugerai pe toate c\u0103ile c\u0103 e\u015fti indisponibil.<\/p>\n Dar s\u0103 zicem c\u0103 n-ar fi fost mo\u015fneag. S\u0103 zicem c\u0103 ar fi fost Ryan Gosling. Te-ar oftica la culme c\u0103 \u015fi-a g\u0103sit un blond sp\u0103l\u0103cit \u015fi f\u0103r\u0103 carism\u0103. Dac\u0103 era turc, te-ar fi ofticat la culme c\u0103 nu p\u0103streaz\u0103 ritul credin\u0163ei noastre str\u0103mo\u015fe\u015fti. Oricine ar fi fost, te oftica.<\/p>\n \u015ei te oftica pentru c\u0103 te-a trezit la realitatea c\u0103 nu e\u015fti preg\u0103tit s-o pierzi. \u015ei nu e\u015fti preg\u0103tit s-o pierzi nici acum, de aceea \u00eemi \u015fi scrii mie.<\/p>\n Momentan, \u0163i-ai pierdut controlul asupra propriei persoane, ca dovad\u0103 c\u0103 \u015ftii c\u0103 te por\u0163i ur\u00e2t \u015fi nu po\u0163i schimba nimic. \u015ei din p\u0103cate, latura noastr\u0103 emo\u0163ional\u0103 e suficient de puternic\u0103 \u00eenc\u00e2t “\u00eemi impun s\u0103 nu mai simt asta \u015fi s\u0103 nu m\u0103 port a\u015fa” nu func\u0163ioneaz\u0103 c\u00e2nd ajungem \u00eentr-un punct at\u00e2t de tensionat. Punct tensionat care se hr\u0103ne\u015fte din fiecare mic conflict domestic. Pun pariu c\u0103 un subiect minor de tipul “iar nu e h\u00e2rtie igienic\u0103” a ajuns motiv de ceart\u0103 de dou\u0103 ore, \u015fi faptul c\u0103 sta\u0163i \u00een aceea\u015fi cas\u0103 nu face dec\u00e2t s\u0103 pun\u0103 paie pe foc de ambele p\u0103r\u0163i.<\/p>\n Pauz\u0103 o lun\u0103. Caut\u0103 o garsonier\u0103 a unui amic sau ceva ieftin. Nu, nu te muta la p\u0103rin\u0163i, pentru c\u0103 p\u0103rin\u0163ii o s\u0103 te frece la icre \u015fi asta nu ajut\u0103 deloc la vindecare. Explic\u0103-i c\u0103 ai nevoie de timp singur, s\u0103 \u00ee\u0163i rezolvi aceste conflicte interioare \u015fi s\u0103 faci pace cu ea \u015fi cu propriul t\u0103u orgoliu. Probabil c\u0103 te \u015fi sim\u0163i vinovat, iar acest lucru, paradoxal, ne face pe noi, oamenii, s\u0103 ne purt\u0103m \u015fi mai aiurea.<\/p>\n Iar \u00een aceast\u0103 lun\u0103, caut\u0103 s\u0103 nu te mai terorizezi singur cu presupuneri, culpe, b\u0103nuieli, suspiciuni etc. Insist: Caut\u0103 s\u0103 faci pace cu tine. Un om care nu poate face pace cu sine nu poate face pace nici cu al\u0163ii. Dac\u0103 ai nevoie de terapie s\u0103 ajungi la aceast\u0103 pace, go for it.<\/p>\n Plimb\u0103-te mult la aer curat, f\u0103 sal\u0103, hidrateaz\u0103-te, ia-o ca pe o detoxifiere emo\u0163ional\u0103 \u015fi fizic\u0103. \u015ei caut\u0103 s\u0103 te odihne\u015fti \u015fi s\u0103 \u00ee\u0163i re\u00eencarci bateriile.<\/p>\n Dup\u0103 o lun\u0103 \u00een care ai grij\u0103 de tine, probabil c\u0103 se vor decanta orgoliile \u015fi vei g\u0103si puterea s\u0103 te ier\u0163i \u015fi pe tine, s-o ier\u0163i \u015fi pe ea.<\/p>\n “\u015ei dac\u0103 \u00een aceast\u0103 lun\u0103 fuge cu mo\u015fneagul?”<\/p>\n Mai degrab\u0103 fuge cu mo\u015fneagul din teroarea unui c\u0103min marcat de certuri zilnice, dec\u00e2t dintr-un punct \u00een care are \u015fi ea r\u0103gaz s\u0103 se adune. Cum simt eu versiunea ei: \u015fi ea probabil c\u0103 are resentimente. “Pana mea, m\u0103 \u00eempingi \u00een bra\u0163ele altuia, apoi tot tu o arzi pe indignare”.<\/p>\n Clar, ave\u0163i am\u00e2ndoi nevoie de timp singuri, s\u0103 ajunge\u0163i s\u0103 v\u0103 ierta\u0163i \u015fi s\u0103 vi se fac\u0103 din nou dor unul de cel\u0103lalt.<\/p>\n Sper c\u0103 \u0163i-am fost util\u0103,<\/p>\n Lorena.<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n \u00ce\u0163i place Po\u015fta redac\u0163iei? Po\u0163i sus\u0163ine \u015fi tu proiectul.<\/p>\n *** Intro: Periodic, oferim iubire cititorului nostru. Nu, Gicu, nu sub form\u0103 de sex, stai jos. \u00cen schimb, lu\u0103m o dram\u0103 personal\u0103 pe care mi-o...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":13715,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-17084","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/mesaj.jpg?fit=1280%2C944&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17084","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=17084"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17084\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":17087,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17084\/revisions\/17087"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/13715"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=17084"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=17084"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=17084"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}![\"\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea-300x300.jpg?resize=300%2C300\")
<\/a><\/p>\n
\nVrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe Twitter<\/a><\/strong> \u015fi Instagram<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"