{"id":17408,"date":"2019-05-02T12:17:34","date_gmt":"2019-05-02T09:17:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=17408"},"modified":"2019-05-02T12:17:34","modified_gmt":"2019-05-02T09:17:34","slug":"lucruri-pe-care-noi-astia-la-dieta-am-dori-sa-le-stiti","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/lucruri-pe-care-noi-astia-la-dieta-am-dori-sa-le-stiti\/","title":{"rendered":"Lucruri pe care noi, \u0103\u015ftia la diet\u0103, am dori s\u0103 le \u0219ti\u021bi"},"content":{"rendered":"

Eu sunt un om cu o predispozi\u0163ie spre \u00eengr\u0103\u0219are. Am cea mai teribil\u0103 mo\u0219tenire genetic\u0103 din lume. Dup\u0103 30 de ani, tendin\u021ba obi\u0219nuit\u0103 a membrilor familiei mele, din ambele ramuri, a fost s\u0103 dezvolte straturi de os\u00e2nz\u0103, cam ca inelele copacilor. Anul \u0219i stratul. Dac\u0103-i t\u0103iai \u00een dou\u0103, cred c\u0103 le puteai stabili v\u00e2rsta.<\/p>\n

Nici eu nu sunt ceea ce am numi o a\u0219chimodie, e adev\u0103rat, dar eu \u00eenc\u0103 posed o talie \u0219i un num\u0103r de kilograme \u021binut c\u00e2t de c\u00e2t sub control, iar asta pe o singur\u0103 cale. Nu m\u0103n\u00e2nc p\u00e2ine, dulciuri, snacks, nu beau sucuri sau lichide cu zah\u0103r, \u0219i a\u0219a mai departe.<\/p>\n

De aceea, toate mesele mele \u00een ora\u0219, \u00eempreun\u0103 cu al\u021bii, au avut diverse niveluri de st\u00e2njeneal\u0103.<\/p>\n

\u0218i cred c\u0103 vorbesc \u00een numele tuturor dietomanilor din lumea asta c\u00e2nd scriu acest text:<\/p>\n

a) Nu trebuie s\u0103 te iei dup\u0103 noi.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Tu \u021bi-ai comanda o pizza mare quatro stagioni, dar ne vezi pe noi c\u0103 ne lu\u0103m piept de pui la gr\u0103tar \u0219i salat\u0103 de crudit\u0103\u021bi, \u0219i instant, \u00ee\u021bi retezi comanda \u0219i ceri ceva mai mic \u0219i mai slab, care \u0219tim sigur c\u0103 nu te satisface.<\/p>\n

NU este cazul. M\u0103n\u00e2nc\u0103 ce vrei tu, cum vrei tu, c\u00e2t vrei tu. M\u0103n\u00e2nci pe metabolismul t\u0103u, pe arderile tale, pe volumul t\u0103u de foame \u0219i pe necesarul t\u0103u de calorii. Nu te sim\u021bi obligat(\u0103) s\u0103 te iei dup\u0103 noi. Noi avem propriile noastre obiective \u0219i suntem nazi\u0219ti cu propria persoan\u0103 pentru c\u0103 altfel nu ne place ceea ce vedem \u00een oglind\u0103.<\/p>\n

b) Nu te judec\u0103m \u0219i nu te privim de sus.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00cen\u021belegem foarte bine c\u0103 suntem persoane diferite, cu nevoi diferite, \u0219i c\u0103 tu ai o poft\u0103 solid\u0103 de m\u00e2ncare. Nu trebuie s\u0103 pozezi \u00een altceva, sau \u00een ce crezi tu c\u0103 vrem noi, fomi\u0219tii, s\u0103 vedem.<\/p>\n

Chiar nu avem o problem\u0103 cu tine, ba dimpotriv\u0103: \u00een sinea noastr\u0103 ne-am dori un metabolism care s\u0103 ne permit\u0103 \u0219i nou\u0103 un pr\u00e2nz din dou\u0103 feluri principale \u0219i desert. Dar \u0219tim c\u0103 dac\u0103 am comite una ca asta, \u00een scurt timp am face umbr\u0103 Casei Poporului.<\/p>\n

c) Nu, nu ne e poft\u0103. <\/strong><\/p>\n

OK, aici e cazul s\u0103 vorbesc exclusiv \u00een numele meu. Poate al\u021bii sufer\u0103 \u0219i de diverse pofte. Dar \u00een ultima vreme, am un control at\u00e2t de bun asupra propriilor pofte, \u00eenc\u00e2t dac\u0103 \u0219tiu c\u0103 \u00eengra\u0219\u0103, mi se pleo\u0219te\u0219te orice poft\u0103 la ordin.<\/p>\n

Po\u021bi face pornografie culinar\u0103 \u00een fa\u021ba mea, \u0219i n-o s\u0103 mi se mi\u0219te un mu\u0219chi. Dec\u00e2t dac\u0103, poate, fac c\u00e2rcel.<\/p>\n

d) Nu, nu vrem s\u0103 gust\u0103m m\u0103car pu\u021bin de la tine, \u0219i c\u00e2nd spunem “nu”, vorbim serios. Nu insista. <\/strong><\/p>\n

Aici intr\u0103 un joc un mecanism extrem de pervers al fiin\u0163ei umane. Dac\u0103 un om se declar\u0103 gay sau lesbian\u0103, musai sexul opus \u00eencepe s\u0103 se frece de el ca \u015fi cum \u015fi-ar testa puterea de seduc\u0163ie. Dac\u0103 un om se declar\u0103 vegetarian, musai \u00eencep unii s\u0103-i plimbe c\u0103rnuri pe la nas. Iar dac\u0103 omul spune c\u0103 e la diet\u0103, subit unii \u015fi al\u0163ii \u00eencearc\u0103 s\u0103-l conving\u0103 s\u0103 guste numai pu\u0163in din pastele lor carbonara.<\/p>\n

“Hai, numai pu\u0163in, ce r\u0103u poate s\u0103 fac\u0103? C\u00e2te calorii are o furculi\u0163\u0103?”<\/p>\n

Nici una, dac\u0103 o \u00eencasezi anal.<\/p>\n

Dar cum eu ies la mas\u0103 cu prieteni, lor nu le spun asta, de\u015fi uneori ar trebui.<\/p>\n

Nu \u00eenseamn\u0103 nu. Tu m\u0103n\u00e2nci ce vrea plua ta, dar nu ne obligi \u015fi pe noi devenim parte din plua ta.<\/p>\n

e) Nu vrem s\u0103 renun\u0163i la desert pentru noi.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

M\u0103 simt \u00eengrozitor de nasol c\u00e2nd se \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103 urm\u0103toarele:<\/p>\n

-Maaam\u0103, ce de bun\u0103t\u0103\u0163i au \u0103\u015ftia. Au \u015fi lava cake. Tu ce vrei?<\/p>\n

-Eu nu m\u0103n\u00e2nc desert.<\/p>\n

-\u0102\u0103\u0103, ok, atunci nici eu.<\/p>\n

Nu ne dorim s\u0103-\u0163i stric\u0103m bucuria. F\u0103-\u0163i pl\u0103cerea, comand\u0103 \u015fi bag\u0103 cu curaj ce dulce vrei tu. Nazismul nostru se extinde doar asupra propriei persoane. Po\u0163i s\u0103-\u0163i comanzi tot meniul de deserturi, de sus \u00een jos \u015fi \u00eenapoi. E ok.<\/p>\n

f) Dar nici tu s\u0103 nu faci mi\u015fto de apa noastr\u0103 plat\u0103.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

C\u00e2nd ce are restaurantul de oferit nealcoolic sunt doar sucuri carbogazoase pline v\u00e2rf de zah\u0103r, nectaruri la 0,33 a\u015fijderea, cafea slab\u0103 \u015fi proast\u0103 \u015fi ceai “de fructe” din plicule\u0163, damn right o s\u0103 vrem ap\u0103 plat\u0103, \u015fi dac\u0103 au l\u0103m\u00e2ie, cerem \u015fi l\u0103m\u00e2ie.<\/p>\n

Poate c\u0103 sun\u0103 ca un cli\u015feu \u015fi ne doare \u00een plu\u0103 cum sun\u0103.<\/p>\n

Ne e mai interesant s\u0103 nu ajungem batoze, doar ca s\u0103 te scutim pe tine de un cli\u015feu.<\/p>\n

Mul\u0163umim de \u00een\u0163elegere.<\/p>\n

Nem\u00e2nca\u0163ii.<\/p>\n

Foto: pixabay.com<\/a>. <\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

\u00ce\u0163i plac textele Trollywood? Po\u0163i sus\u0163ine \u015fi tu proiectul.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

***
\nVrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe Twitter<\/a><\/strong> \u015fi Instagram<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Eu sunt un om cu o predispozi\u0163ie spre \u00eengr\u0103\u0219are. Am cea mai teribil\u0103 mo\u0219tenire genetic\u0103 din lume. Dup\u0103 30 de ani, tendin\u021ba obi\u0219nuit\u0103 a...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":17409,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-17408","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/salata.jpg?fit=640%2C407&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17408","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=17408"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17408\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":17414,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17408\/revisions\/17414"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/17409"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=17408"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=17408"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=17408"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}