Deci, vom fake un pamflet (nu reflect\u0103 realitatea, ok, dom’ judec\u0103tor \u015fi dom’ Marcel de la Cartea Fe\u0163elor?) \u00een care vom plonja un pic mai ad\u00e2nc \u00een \u0103\u0103\u0103\u0103, tenebrele situa\u0163iei.<\/p>\n
Digi24: A\u015fadar, doamna Firea, cum mai st\u0103 treaba \u00een colonul dumneavoastr\u0103?\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n GF: Un fleac, m-au ciuruit. Habar n-ave\u0163i ce \u00eenseamn\u0103 s\u0103 fii o femeie puternic\u0103 \u015fi influent\u0103 ca mine. Tot statul paralel caut\u0103 s\u0103-\u015fi ancoreze aparatura la mine-n curtea din spate.<\/p>\n Ni se pare o atrocitate teribil\u0103 \u015fi v\u0103 rog s\u0103 primi\u0163i empatia noastr\u0103. <\/strong><\/p>\n Depinde c\u00e2t e de mare \u015fi din ce material e confec\u0163ionat\u0103. V\u00e2rsta te face \u00een\u0163elept, nu mai lucrez cu empatii peste 15.<\/p>\n \u015ei v\u0103 sim\u0163i\u0163i ad\u00e2nc r\u0103nit\u0103 de acest atentat alarmant al statului paralel?\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n \u015eti\u0163i ceva, domnilor? M\u0103 doare-n c*r. La propriu. N-a\u015f fi crezut c\u0103 voi ajunge s\u0103 rostesc aceste cuvinte cu un fior at\u00e2t de tragic. Pe de alt\u0103 parte, la 20 de ani nu \u015ftie nimeni ce e \u0103la un hemoroid. La ora aceea de anatomie \u00een general se chiule\u015fte.<\/p>\n A\u0163i men\u0163ionat o m\u00e2n\u0103 criminal\u0103. Ce v\u0103 face at\u00e2t de sigur\u0103 c\u0103 era o m\u00e2n\u0103?\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n Dar ce altceva ar fi putut s\u0103 fie?<\/p>\n Habar n-am, eu sunt reporter, nu e treaba mea s\u0103 speculez.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n Dar v\u0103 rog, \u00eemi face pl\u0103cere. Mi-amintesc c\u0103 \u015fi eu am fost reporter cuiva.<\/p>\n Aaaa, asta schimb\u0103 datele problemei. Un microfon? <\/strong><\/p>\n Interesant, pe asta mi-a sugerat-o \u015fi Carmen Dan s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2na trecut\u0103. Pe de alt\u0103 parte, Carmen Dan g\u0103se\u015fte un microfon de c\u00e2te ori se scobe\u015fte \u00een din\u0163i.<\/p>\n \u015ei care crede\u0163i c\u0103 e explica\u0163ia?\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n Presa absolut de\u015f\u0103n\u0163at\u0103 din zilele noastre. Cum iese s\u0103raca femeie din cas\u0103, tab\u0103r\u0103 to\u0163i reporterii pe ea s\u0103-i \u00eendese microfoane \u00een gur\u0103. A\u0163i v\u0103zut ce mul\u0163i sunt \u015fi ce obraznici. Unii nu apuc\u0103 s\u0103 le scoat\u0103, r\u0103m\u00e2ne cu ele printre din\u0163i. E ok, le d\u0103 \u015eoro\u015f bani s\u0103 cumpere altele.<\/p>\n Cum v-a\u0163i dat totu\u015fi seama de prezen\u0163a s\u00e2rmei la dumneavoastr\u0103 \u00een colon?\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n Florentin \u015ftie. Se tot pl\u00e2ngea c\u0103-l zg\u00e2rie ceva \u015fi m-a implorat s\u0103 mergem la doctor.<\/p>\n Doctorul cum a reac\u0163ionat?\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n S-a scuzat pu\u0163in c\u0103 trebuie s\u0103 se duc\u0103 p\u00e2n\u0103 la toalet\u0103. M\u0103 g\u00e2ndesc c\u0103 poate avea \u015fi el ceva \u00eenfipt acolo \u015fi a fraternizat cu mine.<\/p>\n To\u0163i am fraterniza cu dumneavoastr\u0103, doamna Firea.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n V\u0103 cred, dar de la o v\u00e2rst\u0103 scad elastina \u015fi colagenul din organism. C\u00e2nd aveam 20 de ani, puteam s\u0103 fac s\u0103 dispar\u0103 o \u00eentreag\u0103 sta\u0163ie de amplificare \u015fi nu ne mai \u00eencurcam cu s\u00e2rmuli\u0163e. Ei, nu-\u0163i spune nimeni c\u0103 dup\u0103 40, fiecare exces se resimte dureros.<\/p>\n \u015ei a\u0163i avut deja o opera\u0163ie. Urmeaz\u0103 s\u0103 mai ave\u0163i una. Ce surprize ne mai preg\u0103te\u015fte colonul dumneavoastr\u0103, doamna Firea?\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n Cum ce surprize? Decora\u0163iile de iarn\u0103 ale capitalei. N-a\u0163i zis to\u0163i anul trecut s\u0103 mi le bag \u00een c*r?<\/p>\n Un lider bun e deschis la sugestiile celor pe care-i conduce.<\/p>\n Aaaaa, iat\u0103 \u015fi explica\u0163ia care, s\u0103 zicem a\u015fa, pune totul \u00een lumin\u0103. Mul\u0163umim pentru interviu \u015fi v\u0103 dorim o \u00eens\u0103n\u0103to\u015fire grabnic\u0103. Aaaah, \u015fi o ultim\u0103 \u00eentrebare. Care va fi primul lucru pe care-l ve\u0163i face dup\u0103 ce v\u0103 rec\u0103p\u0103ta\u0163i s\u0103n\u0103tatea?\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n Ca orice cre\u015ftin\u0103 ortodox\u0103, m\u0103 voi duce la biseric\u0103, s\u0103 \u00eenal\u0163 mul\u0163umiri domnului. Nimic nu se compar\u0103 cu o c\u00e2rj\u0103 episcopal\u0103.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n \u00ce\u0163i plac textele Trollywood? Po\u0163i sus\u0163ine \u015fi tu proiectul.<\/p>\n *** <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" -fake interview- Ca toat\u0103 lumea, am citit \u015fi eu aceast\u0103 capodoper\u0103 a umorului subversiv de la digi24 \u015fi simt c\u0103 se putea mai mult....<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":11003,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-17459","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/gfirea.jpg?fit=650%2C431&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17459","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=17459"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17459\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":17461,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17459\/revisions\/17461"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/11003"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=17459"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=17459"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=17459"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}![\"\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea-300x300.jpg?resize=300%2C300\")
<\/a><\/p>\n
\nVrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe Twitter<\/a><\/strong> \u015fi Instagram<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n