{"id":17530,"date":"2019-05-22T11:49:06","date_gmt":"2019-05-22T08:49:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=17530"},"modified":"2020-10-28T18:53:01","modified_gmt":"2020-10-28T15:53:01","slug":"lege-antiavort-barbat","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/lege-antiavort-barbat\/","title":{"rendered":"Cu ce te afecteaz\u0103 o eventual\u0103 lege antiavort dac\u0103 e\u015fti b\u0103rbat?"},"content":{"rendered":"

V\u0103d o gr\u0103mad\u0103 de discu\u0163ii despre legile radicale antiavort \u00een statele controlate de republicani, \u00een SUA. Slav\u0103 Domnului, experien\u0163a decretului 770 este \u00eenc\u0103 mult prea recent\u0103 \u015fi mult prea dureroas\u0103 s\u0103 se apuce \u015fi idio\u0163ii no\u015ftri s\u0103 devin\u0103 conving\u0103tori c\u00e2nd abereaz\u0103 dezl\u00e2nat pe tem\u0103, dar, cu toate astea, se mai g\u0103se\u015fte c\u00e2te un cretinoid s\u0103 bat\u0103 c\u00e2mpii despre cum, dac\u0103 femeia a r\u0103mas \u00eens\u0103rcinat\u0103, ar trebui s\u0103 renun\u0163e la toate visele \u015fi planurile ei de viitor, \u015fi s\u0103 se \u00eenhame sclav\u0103 la o c\u0103ru\u0163\u0103 pe care nu \u015fi-o dore\u015fte, pentru urm\u0103torii optsprezece ani sau chiar mai mult.<\/p>\n

Realitatea primordial\u0103 e c\u0103 preocuparea intens\u0103 pentru “via\u0163\u0103” e bullshit. Dac\u0103 \u0103stora le-ar p\u0103sa a\u015fa tare de via\u0163\u0103: exist\u0103 deja via\u0163\u0103 berechet \u00een orfelinate \u015fi case de copii, \u015fi mi s-ar p\u0103rea mai important s\u0103 simplifici adop\u0163ia PENTRU COPII DEJA N\u0102SCU\u0162I \u015eI \u00ceN CRE\u015eTERE, dec\u00e2t s\u0103 interzici avortul pentru embrioni \u015fi grupuri de celule, CHIAR \u00een cazul unui viol sau incest.<\/p>\n

Dac\u0103 a\u015f vedea fiecare pro-lifer cu patru prunci de la orfelinat \u00een tutel\u0103, preg\u0103tindu-le zilnic pache\u0163el pentru \u015fcoal\u0103, da, i-a\u015f crede c\u0103 sunt lupt\u0103tori \u00een slujba vie\u0163ii. P\u00e2n\u0103 v\u0103d asta – adic\u0103 niciodat\u0103 – \u00eei cred doar lupt\u0103tori \u00eempotriva libert\u0103\u0163ii femeii.<\/p>\n

Partea amuzant\u0103 este, \u00eens\u0103, c\u0103 o lege antiavort ar afecta \u015fi b\u0103rba\u0163ii. S\u0103 vedem cum:<\/p>\n

A) Majoritatea femeilor ar \u00eenceta s\u0103 fac\u0103 sex \u00een afara unui mariaj stabil.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Tu scuturi plua \u015fi pleci, eu r\u0103m\u00e2n cu responsabilitatea \u0219i efortul pe tot restul vie\u021bii? Mar\u015f, m\u0103. Mai bine \u00eemi cump\u0103r un vibrator iepura\u015f (aka \u015fi cu stimulator de clitoris), \u00eemi provoc singur\u0103 o mie de orgasme sarcin\u0103-free pe noapte \u015fi m\u0103 retrag de pe pia\u0163a de dating cu totul. F***i-v\u0103 \u00eentre voi, c\u0103 nu v\u0103 pa\u0219te riscul de sarcin\u0103.<\/p>\n

Valabil, cred, pentru toat\u0103 popula\u0163ia educat\u0103.<\/p>\n

Prin urmare, sexul ar deveni practica aia rarisim\u0103, cum a fost mereu \u00een istorie. Sau aproape mereu, cu excep\u021bia oazelor de libertinaj declarat, cum au fost cur\u021bile anumitor regi.<\/p>\n

\u00cen mod interesant, filmele porno au ap\u0103rut ca expresia unor nevoi \u0219i a unor frustr\u0103ri \u0219i au ajuns \u00een doar dou\u0103 genera\u021bii s\u0103 fie considerate manual de interac\u021biune \u00eentre sexe.<\/p>\n

B) Majoritatea femeilor ar \u00eenceta s\u0103 fac\u0103 sex \u00een\u0103untrul unui mariaj stabil.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00cemi amintesc scurta perioad\u0103 de un an \u015fi ceva \u00eentre na\u015fterea fratelui meu \u015fi divor\u0163. Mama avea deja doi puradei, se s\u0103turase de f\u0103tat ca dracul de t\u0103m\u00e2ie, \u015fi c\u00e2nd venea vorba de d\u00e2nsa-ntr\u00e2nsa, omg. Se ferea de orice m\u00e2ng\u00e2iere de la tata de parc\u0103 ar fi putut-o l\u0103sa gravid\u0103 cu degetele.<\/p>\n

Nimic nu nimice\u015fte o rela\u0163ie ca panica aceasta a femeii s\u0103 nu r\u0103m\u00e2n\u0103 gravid\u0103.<\/p>\n

Pentru c\u0103 m\u0103 pun \u015fi \u00een fotoliul de vizavi \u015fi \u00een\u0163eleg: dai s\u0103-\u0163i m\u00e2ng\u00e2i iubita \u015fi ea \u00ee\u0163i \u015fuier\u0103: Nu, cu vaginul \u0103sta nu faci nimic!<\/p>\n

C\u00e2nd intr\u0103 genul \u0103sta de panic\u0103 \u00eentr-o poveste de iubire, finalul nu poate fi dec\u00e2t divor\u0163ul.<\/p>\n

C) Orice vac\u0103 pe care o foo\u0163i beat din singur\u0103tate te poate subjuga.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

“Sunt gravid\u0103”.<\/p>\n

“Oh, fuck”.<\/p>\n

Tu ie\u015fise\u015fi cu ea ca a treizeci \u015fi opta potrivire pe Tinder, \u0163i s-a p\u0103rut cam nasoal\u0103, drept care ai apelat la trucul clasic Nu exist\u0103 femei ur\u00e2te, doar b\u0103utur\u0103 pu\u0163in\u0103.<\/p>\n

Ie\u015fi, se leag\u0103 treaba, foo\u0163i. \u00cen trei s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2ni, telefon:\u00a0 Bun\u0103, Silviu, \u0103\u0103\u0103, nu \u0219tiu cum s-o spun, a\u0219a c\u0103 o spun direct, sunt gravid\u0103. Vei fi tat\u0103.<\/p>\n

Tu: Dar mie mi se leag\u0103 \u00een sf\u00e2r\u0219it ploile cu tipa care de fapt \u00eemi place, \u0219i vreau s\u0103 dau admitere la facultate, \u0219i am g\u0103sit \u0219i jobul \u0103sta fabulos \u00een Irlanda.<\/p>\n

Ea: Ai g\u0103sit pe m\u0103-ta, sunt gravid\u0103.<\/p>\n

\u0218i fie o iei pe doamna de so\u021bie, fie r\u0103m\u00e2i dator cu o sum\u0103 consistent\u0103 pe lun\u0103, pe care, indiferent ce faci, trebuie s-o marchezi.<\/p>\n

D) Colegele tale de la munc\u0103 vor disp\u0103rea \u00een cel mai neconvenabil moment, c\u0103ci plm, a sc\u0103pat unul un strop \u00een ele \u0219i au r\u0103mas gravide.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Munca de echip\u0103 e frustrant\u0103 c\u00e2nd \u0219tii c\u0103 nu te po\u021bi baza pe ceilal\u021bi. Imagineaz\u0103-\u021bi nivelul de frustrare pe care l-ai resim\u021bi pentru c\u0103, \u00een orice moment, una sau alta din doamne \u00ee\u021bi spune: Pfff, plm, am r\u0103mas gravid\u0103. Nici eu nu-mi doresc chestia asta mai mult dec\u00e2t o dore\u0219ti tu, dar asta e legea, nu avem ce face.<\/p>\n

\u0218i unele femei chiar sunt excelente \u00een ceea ce fac, pierderea e inestimabil\u0103, dar nah. Legea e lege, nu te joci.<\/p>\n

E) Po\u021bi r\u0103m\u00e2ne v\u0103duv \u00een orice clip\u0103, dac\u0103 ave\u021bi deja trei copii, nu ave\u021bi de unde s\u0103 scobi\u021bi resurse pentru al patrulea nici s\u0103 sta\u021bi \u00een cap \u0219i nevast\u0103-ta avorteaz\u0103 cu un umera\u0219 de metal.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Aici nu am ce dezvolta, e destul de clar din enun\u021b. Ceea ce ne duce la<\/p>\n

F) O sarcin\u0103 nepremeditat\u0103 \u0219i inconvenient\u0103 poate ap\u0103rea oric\u00e2nd \u00een vie\u021bile celor mai iubite femei din via\u021ba ta: mam\u0103, sor\u0103, fiic\u0103, etc. \u0218i le vei vedea fie accident\u00e2ndu-se, poate pierz\u00e2ndu-\u0219i via\u021ba, pentru c\u0103 uterul are acest prost obicei,\u00a0 s\u0103 fie plasat chiar \u00een vecin\u0103tatea mai multor organe vitale, \u0219i c\u00e2nd scobe\u0219ti pe acolo cu ce unealt\u0103 contondent\u0103 g\u0103se\u0219ti \u00een cas\u0103, ri\u0219ti s\u0103 dai \u0219i pe l\u00e2ng\u0103. Fie arestate pentru c\u0103 au comis ceva ilegal cu propriul lor corp \u0219i cu propriile lor decizii pentru viitorul lor.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Ca s\u0103 \u00eenchid acest text deja macabru, voi apela la o glum\u0103 \u0219i mai dark a prietenei mele Cristina Rusu:<\/p>\n

Femeia: Dac\u0103 vrei s\u0103 previi avorturile, f\u0103-\u021bi o vasectomie.<\/p>\n

B\u0103rbatul: Nu-mi spune ce s\u0103 fac cu corpul meu!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

\u00ce\u0163i plac textele Trollywood? Po\u0163i sus\u0163ine \u015fi tu proiectul.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

***
\nVrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe Twitter<\/a><\/strong> \u015fi Instagram<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

V\u0103d o gr\u0103mad\u0103 de discu\u0163ii despre legile radicale antiavort \u00een statele controlate de republicani, \u00een SUA. Slav\u0103 Domnului, experien\u0163a decretului 770 este \u00eenc\u0103 mult...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":17534,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-17530","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/hanger.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17530","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=17530"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17530\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":20665,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17530\/revisions\/20665"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/17534"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=17530"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=17530"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=17530"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}