Sunt unul dintre cititorii t\u0103i mai vechi \u0219i \u00ee\u021bi citesc cu pl\u0103cere majoritatea articolelor. Apreciez franche\u021bea ta, motiv pentru care a\u0219 vrea, dac\u0103 ai timp \u0219i chef, s\u0103-mi l\u0103mure\u0219ti o situa\u021bie care mi-a l\u0103sat o amintire amar\u0103.<\/strong><\/p>\n Acum vreun doi ani, oarecum aleatoriu, am primit un friend request de la o tip\u0103 (s\u0103-i zicem “Anca” – \u00een prezent are 26 de ani, iar eu am 33) pe care am \u00eentrebat-o cu ce o pot ajuta (pentru c\u0103, oarecum, \u0219tiam de unde e – nu are rost s\u0103 intru \u00een detalii). Zicea c\u0103 nu are nevoie de ajutor, iar dou\u0103 glume mai \u00eencolo m-am sim\u021bit obligat s\u0103-i men\u021bionez c\u0103 sunt (chiar dac\u0103 “happily”) c\u0103s\u0103torit, ca s\u0103 nu las loc de… nimic. N-am \u021binut leg\u0103tura \u00een mod special (mi-a mai scris, i-am mai r\u0103spuns, dar pu\u021bin \u0219i rar).<\/strong><\/p>\n La ceva timp dup\u0103 divor\u021bul meu am zis s-o cunosc \u0219i pe Anca, a\u0219a c\u0103 am reu\u0219it s\u0103 ne sincroniz\u0103m la o cafea scurt\u0103 \u00eentr-un parc (eram cu treburi prin ora\u0219). P\u0103rea fain\u0103, \u0219i p\u0103rea interesat\u0103 de mine, dar eu eram praf \u0219i nu m\u0103 sim\u021beam \u00een stare s\u0103 am o rela\u021bie a\u0219a devreme dup\u0103 divor\u021b. Am r\u0103mas la stadiul de discu\u021bii pe Facebook, care au devenit ceva mai dese \u00een timp.<\/strong><\/p>\n Dup\u0103 \u00eenc\u0103 6-7 luni m-a sunat \u00eentr-o sear\u0103, din senin, s\u0103 m\u0103 \u00eentrebe ce fac. \u00cei spun c\u0103 sunt la cump\u0103r\u0103turi \u0219i o \u00eentreb, \u00een glum\u0103, ce s\u0103-i iau. \u00cemi zice c\u0103 \u00ee\u0219i tot caut\u0103 ceva sos pe care-l g\u0103sise \u00eentr-un concediu, \u00eel g\u0103sesc \u0219i r\u0103m\u00e2ne s\u0103 ne vedem a doua zi s\u0103 i-l dau. Cumva, chestia asta s-a transformat \u00eentr-un pr\u00e2nz (locuia aproape de biroul meu) \u0219i, dup\u0103 pr\u00e2nz, sim\u021bindu-m\u0103 norocos, am s\u0103rutat-o \u0219i m-a s\u0103rutat, destul de pasional.<\/strong><\/p>\n Dou\u0103 zile mai t\u00e2rziu am mers \u00eempreun\u0103 \u00eentr-o drume\u021bie scurt\u0103, am “campat” pe o p\u0103tur\u0103 \u0219i am povestit vrute \u0219i nevrute p\u00e2n\u0103 pe la 2-3 noaptea. Am dus-o acas\u0103 \u0219i m-a \u00eentrebat dac\u0103 vreau s\u0103 intru la un ceai. Am ajuns s\u0103 ne s\u0103rut\u0103m \u00eentin\u0219i \u00een pat, s\u0103-i dau jos tricoul, m\u00e2ng\u00e2ieri etc. M-a \u00eentrebat dac\u0103 nu mi se pare c\u0103 ne gr\u0103bim prea tare \u0219i am negat – chiar nu mi se p\u0103rea. Am r\u0103mas \u0219i eu f\u0103r\u0103 tricou, ea a r\u0103mas f\u0103r\u0103 niciun fel de textile \u0219i i-am f\u0103cut un oral de care p\u0103rea suficient de entuziasmat\u0103 \u00eenc\u00e2t s\u0103 m\u0103 ajute. Dup\u0103 ce a ajuns la orgasm mi-am dat seama c\u0103 parc\u0103 se schimbase ceva, a\u0219a c\u0103 m-am \u00eentins l\u00e2ng\u0103 ea (\u00een continuare cu pantalonii pe mine). Am mai s\u0103rutat-o \u0219i m\u00e2ng\u00e2iat-o pu\u021bin, fiindc\u0103 \u0219i eu voiam ceva aten\u021bie, dar n-a reac\u021bionat dup\u0103 speran\u021bele mele. Pur \u0219i simplu st\u0103tea \u00eentins\u0103 \u0219i sunt 99% sigur c\u0103 n-ar fi zis nimic nici dac\u0103 a\u0219 fi trecut la sex. Dup\u0103 c\u00e2teva minute de vorbit vorbe, s-a ridicat din pat, a mers s\u0103 fac\u0103 un du\u0219 \u0219i ne-am pus la somn. Am dormit \u0219i \u00een noaptea urm\u0103toare la ea, dar a fost foarte reticent\u0103 \u0219i s\u0103 m\u0103 \u00eembr\u0103\u021bi\u0219eze sau s\u0103rute, a\u0219a c\u0103 doar am dormit.<\/strong><\/p>\n \u00cen ziua urm\u0103toare, aparent, \u0219i-a luat inima-n din\u021bi \u0219i mi-a spus (pe Facebook!) c\u0103 ei i se pare c\u0103 ne-am gr\u0103bit prea tare \u0219i c\u0103, \u00een opinia ei, am abuzat de ea, am violat-o. Nu chiar cu cuvintele astea, dar am discu\u021bii de sute de pagini pe tema asta \u0219i, pe cuv\u00e2nt, deja nu mai \u0219tiu ce s\u0103 cred. Am aflat, cu ocazia asta, c\u0103 am o gr\u0103mad\u0103 de probleme nerezolvate \u0219i c\u0103 i-am dat ceva “triggere” – dup\u0103 prima noapte.<\/strong><\/p>\n Am mai p\u0103strat leg\u0103tura doar pentru a putea s\u0103-i ofer vreun ajutor dac\u0103 are vreodat\u0103 nevoie (i-am \u0219i explicat c\u0103 asta e singurul motiv) \u0219i chiar am ajutat-o de vreo dou\u0103, trei ori. P\u0103str\u00e2ndu-mi distan\u021ba, pentru c\u0103, efectiv, nu m\u0103 simt confortabil \u00een prezen\u021ba ei.<\/strong><\/p>\n \u00cen continuare, din c\u00e2nd \u00een c\u00e2nd, \u00eemi scrie s\u0103 m\u0103 \u00eentrebe ce mai fac, dac\u0103 vreau s\u0103 ie\u0219im la plaj\u0103 (? – asta a fost ultima oar\u0103) sau, dac\u0103 duc discu\u021bia \u00eencolo, s\u0103 m\u0103 fut\u0103 la cap cu problemele mele nerezolvate, cu faptul c\u0103 \u00eei dau acelea\u0219i “triggere” ca \u0219i alt\u0103dat\u0103 (f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 intre \u00een detalii, chiar dac\u0103 le cer) etc.<\/strong><\/p>\n Te rog, spune-mi p\u0103rerea ta – cu ce \u0219i unde am gre\u0219it? Mi-e greu s\u0103 \u00eencerc alt\u0103 rela\u021bie p\u00e2n\u0103 nu-mi dau seama.<\/strong><\/p>\n Mul\u021bumesc, \u0219i scuze pentru mini-romanul de mai sus, <\/strong><\/p>\n X.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n *<\/p>\n Drag\u0103 X.,<\/p>\n Exact cum exist\u0103 b\u0103rba\u0163i “playeri”, care \u00eei tot promit c\u00e2te unei naive c\u0103 o vor lua de nevast\u0103 dac\u0103 se aliniaz\u0103 astrele, \u015fi mereu intervine c\u00e2te ceva, exist\u0103 \u015fi femei playeri, care, de\u015fi \u015ftiu sigur din prima c\u0103 nu-s interesate de un tip, se folosesc de el \u00een fel \u015fi chip, \u00eel las\u0103 s\u0103 le s\u0103rute \u015fi s\u0103 le mozoleasc\u0103, dar numai p\u00e2n\u0103 i se scoal\u0103, apoi \u00eel expediaz\u0103 c\u0103 v\u0103leu, e abuz \u015fi viol.<\/p>\n Sigur, o femeie se poate r\u0103zg\u00e2ndi \u00een timpul sexului \u015fi motivele sunt multe. Fie c\u0103 spui tu ceva care le face s\u0103 se simt\u0103 ur\u00e2te \u015fi grase. Fie v\u0103d un detaliu fizic al t\u0103u care le aminte\u015fte de marea lor iubire din facultate. Fie au un puseu de luciditate de genul: \u015ei totu\u015fi, poate nu \u00eel plac pe \u0103sta a\u015fa de tare. Fie c\u0103 au un puseu de fric\u0103: \u0102sta mi-o trage acum, apoi m\u00e2ine nu m\u0103 sun\u0103 \u015fi m-a bifat alt pickup artist. Fie c\u0103 \u00ee\u015fi amintesc c\u0103 nu-s epilate fresh \u015fi dai de o brum\u0103 de \u0163epi \u00een zon\u0103.<\/p>\n M-am r\u0103zg\u00e2ndit \u015fi eu, s-au r\u0103zg\u00e2ndit \u015fi altele, \u015fi se vor r\u0103zg\u00e2ndi p\u00e2n\u0103 dispare planeta p\u0103m\u00e2nt, pentru c\u0103 apetitul sexual feminin e extrem de volatil \u015fi fragil, \u015fi e u\u015for de disipat.<\/p>\n NUMAI C\u0102.<\/p>\n Here’s the thing.<\/p>\n Eu c\u00e2nd m\u0103 r\u0103zg\u00e2ndesc nu zic ceva de genul: \u0102\u0103\u0103, ne gr\u0103bim prea tare, apoi stau \u00een continuare ca balega-n soare \u015fi a\u015ftept s\u0103 m\u0103 mai g\u00e2dile omul un pic la clitoris.<\/p>\n Eu c\u00e2nd m\u0103 r\u0103zg\u00e2ndesc m\u0103 ridic din pat \u015fi pun instant o textil\u0103 pe mine. Adic\u0103 \u0163i-e clar din avion c\u0103 m-am r\u0103zg\u00e2ndit, c\u0103 am o problem\u0103 \u015fi c\u0103 nu va fi nimic \u00een seara aia.<\/p>\n Genul \u0103sta de faze \u00een care ea zice “nununu”, dar st\u0103 cr\u0103cit\u0103 de la Satu Mare p\u00e2n\u0103-n Mangalia \u015fi te trage de p\u0103r s\u0103-i dai limbi mai cu foc, apoi dup\u0103 ce a avut orgasm multiplu \u00eencepe s\u0103 \u0163ipe la tine c\u0103 a fost viol mi se pare la fel de egoist ca genul de sex \u00een care b\u0103rbatul d\u0103 de trei ori din fund \u015fi termin\u0103, \u015fi tot partenera e de vin\u0103.<\/p>\n Cumva m\u0103 \u015fi a\u015fteptam ca \u00een retorica ei s\u0103 fii tot tu vinovatul, pentru c\u0103, din perspectiva omului care vrea numai s\u0103 primeasc\u0103, mereu se g\u0103se\u015fte ceva de repro\u015fat celuilalt.<\/p>\n \u015ei explica\u0163ia e simpl\u0103: tipa nu d\u0103 doi bani pe tine.<\/p>\n Ce a\u015f face eu \u00een locul t\u0103u ar fi s\u0103-i dau frumu\u015fel un block pe toat\u0103 social media \u015fi s\u0103 \u00eemi dau seama c\u0103 at\u00e2ta timp c\u00e2t exist\u0103 oportunit\u0103\u0163i, vor exista \u015fi oportuni\u015fti.<\/p>\n \u015ei pe viitor, sugerez tratamentul #metoo: cum \u00ee\u0163i zice o tip\u0103 c\u0103 v\u0103 gr\u0103bi\u0163i prea tare, te opre\u015fti \u015fi zici: m\u0103 scuzi, corect, de fapt \u015fi eu cred acela\u015fi lucru. Apoi te ridici, mergi la baie \u015fi dai o lab\u0103. Te \u00eentorci \u00een camer\u0103, te culci, dar men\u0163ii distan\u0163\u0103 de s\u0103 cread\u0103 c\u0103 e\u015fti statul paralel, nu altceva.<\/p>\n De multe ori, e doar o tactic\u0103 de \u00eent\u0103r\u00e2tare, pe care o po\u0163i dezamorsa cu aceea\u015fi moned\u0103: pe urm\u0103toarea s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2n\u0103, o \u0163ii numai pe absen\u0163a oric\u0103rui contact fizic \u015fi pe “scuze, cred c\u0103 ne gr\u0103bim prea tare”.<\/p>\n Nu recomand genul \u0103sta de competitivitate de tot rahatul \u00een rela\u0163ii interumane normale, dar unii assholi – \u015fi assholi\u0163e, c\u0103 tic\u0103lo\u015fia nu e un atribut exclusiv masculin – o cer.<\/p>\n \u015ei dac\u0103 te ia la pseudopsihologeal\u0103 nesolicitat\u0103, \u00eentreab-o pe ce baz\u0103 \u015ftiin\u0163ific\u0103 \u00ee\u0163i d\u0103 diagnostice. Arzi de ner\u0103bdare s\u0103-i vezi diploma de psiholog. Cum, n-are? Atunci, s\u0103 nu rateze o ocazie fabuloas\u0103 de a t\u0103cea.<\/p>\n Sper c\u0103 \u0163i-am fost util\u0103,<\/p>\n Lorena.<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n \u00ce\u0163i place Po\u015fta redac\u0163iei? Po\u0163i sus\u0163ine \u015fi tu proiectul.<\/p>\n *** Intro: Periodic, oferim iubire cititorului nostru. Nu, Gicu, nu sub form\u0103 de sex, stai jos. \u00cen schimb, lu\u0103m o dram\u0103 personal\u0103 pe care mi-o...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":17595,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-17594","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/tongue.jpg?fit=728%2C728&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17594","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=17594"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17594\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":17599,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17594\/revisions\/17599"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/17595"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=17594"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=17594"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=17594"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}![\"\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea-300x300.jpg?resize=300%2C300\")
<\/a><\/p>\n
\nVrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe Twitter<\/a><\/strong> \u015fi Instagram<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"