{"id":17762,"date":"2019-06-17T14:58:59","date_gmt":"2019-06-17T11:58:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=17762"},"modified":"2019-06-17T19:32:01","modified_gmt":"2019-06-17T16:32:01","slug":"mitul-trist-al-sigurantei","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/mitul-trist-al-sigurantei\/","title":{"rendered":"Mitul trist al siguran\u0163ei"},"content":{"rendered":"

Ieri m-a scos una grav din s\u0103rite. \u00cemi trimite un mail lung ca o zi de post despre cum e \u00eentr-o rela\u021bie incredibil de toxic\u0103, cu unu etern gelos \u0219i suspicios, genul care te agaseaz\u0103 mereu cu b\u0103nuieli stupide, dar st\u0103 \u00een ea \u201edin nevoia de siguran\u0163\u0103\u201d. <\/p>\n

(\u015ei, dup\u0103 ce petrec dou\u0103zeci de minute citind v\u0103ic\u0103reli, la final m\u0103 ia cu: \u201enu m\u0103 pune la po\u015fta redac\u0163iei c\u0103 nu vreau s\u0103-mi expun problemele public, scrie-mi privat dac\u0103 ai sfaturi\u201d. <\/p>\n

Nu, nu te pun la \u201epo\u015fta redac\u0163iei\u201d, te pun la \u201escroafe misecuveniste care nu se prind c\u0103 nu-s terapeutul lor pl\u0103tit, c\u0103 nu le datorez nici o secund\u0103 din timpul meu, \u015fi c\u0103 aceast\u0103 rubric\u0103 e creat\u0103 s\u0103 recompenseze loialitatea de cititor, nu s\u0103 \u00eencurajeze milogeala de timp \u015fi aten\u0163ie.\u201d <\/p>\n

Dar nu \u0103sta e subiectul prezentului articol. E doar un scurt public service announcement: Sau vrei la po\u015fta redac\u0163iei, sau NU trimi\u0163i mailul from the get go \u015fi nu \u00eemi arestezi timp privat cu problemele tale.<\/strong> Nu sunt mama dolores a internetului \u015fi nu-mi propun s\u0103 devin. Sau, na, de la un anumit nivel al dona\u0163iilor pe Paypal \u00een sus, putem negocia, dar oricum, cu bani g\u0103se\u015fti \u015fi un terapeut calificat.) <\/p>\n

Acum c\u0103 am l\u0103murit aceast\u0103 mic\u0103 parantez\u0103, hai s\u0103 trecem la termenul care mi-a zg\u00e2riat retina: siguran\u021b\u0103. <\/p>\n

Oamenii iau cele mai stupide, limitative \u0219i contraintuitive decizii \u00een numele unei iluzorii siguran\u021be. <\/p>\n

Stau de vorb\u0103 zilele trecute cu un pu\u0219ti cu vizibile \u00eenclina\u021bii artistice. L-au dat p\u0103rin\u021bii la facultate la drept. De\u0219i n-are nici o treab\u0103 cu legile \u0219i, dintr-o discu\u021bie superficial\u0103, \u00eei e clar oricui c\u0103 nu are tangen\u021b\u0103 cu domeniul. C\u0103 nu vezi urm\u0103 de pasiune fa\u021b\u0103 de domeniu. <\/p>\n

P\u0103rin\u021bii l-au convins s\u0103 fac\u0103 aceast\u0103 facultate, pentru \u201esiguran\u0163\u0103\u201d. Ce siguran\u0163\u0103, pe o pia\u0163\u0103 unde sute de absolven\u0163i de drept de la stat \u015fi privat apar \u00een fiecare an, \u015fi majoritatea nu vor practica niciodat\u0103? Unde singurul liant dintre tine \u015fi domeniu e fie ambi\u0163ia dublat\u0103 de pasiune \u015fi dedica\u0163ie, fie o sumedenie de pile ale p\u0103rin\u0163ilor t\u0103i? <\/p>\n

Exact ca individa cu mailul, o gr\u0103mad\u0103 de oameni se complac \u00een rela\u0163ii oribile, pentru \u201esiguran\u0163\u0103\u201d. Exact ca b\u0103iatul cu dreptul, nenum\u0103ra\u0163i tineri dau la facult\u0103\u0163i care nu-i inspir\u0103, doar pentru c\u0103 au auzit p\u0103rin\u0163ii c\u0103 \u201ese fac bani\u201d. <\/p>\n

\u015eansa ta s\u0103 faci bani ca absolvent, doar pentru c\u0103 cel mai tare avocat din ora\u015ful t\u0103u de milionar e similar\u0103 cu a-\u0163i baza succesul unui eventual debut \u00een muzic\u0103 pe faptul c\u0103 Michael Jackson a devenit vedet\u0103 la 5 ani. Total aleatoriu, total f\u0103r\u0103 leg\u0103tur\u0103. <\/p>\n

Siguran\u0163a e inexistent\u0103 \u00een ambele categorii de cazuri, dar mitul siguran\u0163ei \u00eei bag\u0103 pe oameni \u00een ni\u015fte jocuri la care au pierdut \u00eenc\u0103 dinainte s\u0103 \u00eenceap\u0103 partida. <\/p>\n

\u015ei ce vrei s\u0103 spui, Lorena, c\u0103 nu exist\u0103 siguran\u0163\u0103 real\u0103? <\/p>\n

Ba da. Singura form\u0103 de siguran\u0163\u0103 real\u0103 e stabilitatea ta mintal\u0103 \u015fi capacitatea de a c\u0103dea \u00een picioare. \u00cen rest, joburile vin \u015fi pleac\u0103, iubi\u0163ii vin \u015fi pleac\u0103, \u015fansele vin \u015fi pleac\u0103, iar domenii spre care te-au m\u00e2nat p\u0103rin\u0163ii cu joarda devin necompetitive \u00een c\u00e2\u0163iva ani. Dac\u0103 nu m\u0103 crede\u0163i, \u00eentreba\u0163i-i pe to\u0163i inginerii r\u0103ma\u015fi \u015fomeri dup\u0103 revolu\u0163ie. <\/p>\n

Sigur, nici stabilitatea ta mintal\u0103, respectiv capacitatea de a c\u0103dea mereu \u00een picioare nu sunt 100% sigure; dar sunt unica form\u0103 de siguran\u021b\u0103 care depinde integral de tine. <\/p>\n

\u00cen rest? S\u0103 cau\u021bi siguran\u021ba \u00een rela\u021bii abuzive \u0219i toxice e o prostie c\u00e2t casa poporului. Rela\u021bia abuziv\u0103 \u0219i toxic\u0103 e prin defini\u021bie nesigur\u0103. Nu numai prin faptul c\u0103 nu te bazezi pe \u0103la cu nimic niciodat\u0103, ci mai ales prin faptul c\u0103 eterna umilire, ploaia de insulte, abuzul verbal \u00ee\u021bi erodeaz\u0103 siguran\u021ba de sine mai mult dec\u00e2t un celibat pa\u0219nic, de om \u00eemp\u0103cat cu sine. <\/p>\n

S\u0103 cau\u021bi siguran\u021ba \u00een domenii de munc\u0103 cu care nu ai nimic \u00een comun e o condamnare la plictis \u0219i blazare. De ce s\u0103 faci asta la 18 ani, c\u00e2nd realmente ai toat\u0103 via\u021ba \u00eenainte, zero obliga\u021bii, impozite de pl\u0103tit, copii de \u00eentre\u021binut \u0219i alte pietre de moar\u0103 care s\u0103 te lege de glie? <\/p>\n

C\u00e2nd te preseaz\u0103 p\u0103rin\u021bii s\u0103 dai la drept, ASE, sau orice alt\u0103 facultate cu reputa\u021bie de min\u0103 de bani, ar trebui s\u0103 existe un \u00eenger bun care s\u0103-\u021bi zic\u0103: Stop. Te vezi f\u0103c\u00e2nd asta opt ore pe zi? <\/p>\n

C\u0103 dac\u0103 r\u0103spunsul e \u201eparc\u0103 nu\u201d, poate mai munce\u015fti un an-doi \u00een diverse joburi mai modeste \u015fi experimentezi ipostaze de via\u0163\u0103 care s\u0103 te ajute s\u0103 descoperi la ce e\u015fti bun cu adev\u0103rat. <\/p>\n

Oricum, \u00een Rom\u00e2nia, facult\u0103\u0163ile sunt mai mult uzine de diplome, dec\u00e2t locuri care s\u0103 te \u00eenve\u0163e concret ceva. F\u0103 una care s\u0103 duc\u0103 spre genul de job pe care te vezi f\u0103c\u00e2ndu-l cu drag, chiar dac\u0103 nu e \u201emeserie b\u0103noas\u0103\u201d. <\/p>\n

Nici o meserie nu e b\u0103noas\u0103 \u00een sine, de la \u00eenceput. (Dac\u0103 nu e taic\u0103-tu super pilos \u015fi nu te plaseaz\u0103 \u00een ceva job de vis, dar care dispare din secunda \u00een care i se \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103 ceva lui taic\u0103-tu. C\u0103 asta fac oportunit\u0103\u021bile ap\u0103rute pe barba \u0219i reputa\u021bia altora. Se fac nev\u0103zute de cum r\u0103m\u00e2i singur.) <\/p>\n

\u0218i atunci? Cum r\u0103m\u00e2ne cu siguran\u021ba? <\/p>\n

Simplu: N-o mai c\u0103uta \u00een exteriorul t\u0103u, ci \u00eencearc\u0103 s\u0103 \u021bi-o zide\u0219ti pe interior. \u00centre timp, munce\u0219te, s\u0103 ai din ce tr\u0103i, \u0219i s\u0103-\u021bi formezi exerci\u021biul independen\u021bei \u0219i al responsabilit\u0103\u021bii umane. Astea, da, sunt sigure. Restul proptelelor: o iluzie f\u0103r\u0103 baz\u0103. <\/p>\n

Iar dac\u0103 vrei s\u0103 te combini cu unul sau cu una: f\u0103-o pentru starea de bine pe care \u021bi-o inoculeaz\u0103, pentru armonie, pozitivitate \u0219i tot ce reprezint\u0103 el sau ea ca plus fa\u021b\u0103 de ce erai tu singur\/\u0103. Sigur, nici astea nu sunt obligatoriu eterne sau nem\u0103rginite, dar sunt mai apropiate de no\u021biunea de siguran\u021b\u0103 dec\u00e2t orice cramponare disperat\u0103 de cineva care-\u0219i de\u0219art\u0103 veninul spre tine. <\/p>\n

Fii propria ta siguran\u021b\u0103. Orice alt\u0103 form\u0103 de siguran\u021b\u0103 e o utopie. <\/p>\n

\u00ce\u0163i plac textele Trollywood? Po\u0163i sus\u0163ine \u015fi tu proiectul.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

Vrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe Twitter<\/a><\/strong> \u015fi Instagram<\/a><\/strong>. Sau, mai nou, devino parte a comunit\u0103\u021bii mele pe Reddit<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Ieri m-a scos una grav din s\u0103rite. \u00cemi trimite un mail lung ca o zi de post despre cum e \u00eentr-o rela\u021bie incredibil de...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":17764,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-17762","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/1D92SIGFD300145.jpg?fit=500%2C500&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17762","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=17762"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17762\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":17766,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17762\/revisions\/17766"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/17764"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=17762"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=17762"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=17762"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}