{"id":17819,"date":"2019-06-23T12:24:23","date_gmt":"2019-06-23T09:24:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=17819"},"modified":"2019-06-23T12:26:30","modified_gmt":"2019-06-23T09:26:30","slug":"sora-noastra","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/sora-noastra\/","title":{"rendered":"Sora noastr\u0103"},"content":{"rendered":"

Ieri am b\u0103gat munc\u0103 la una din companiile cu care colaborez. \u0218i pentru c\u0103 se f\u0103cuse t\u00e2rzior, oamenii m-au adus acas\u0103 cu ma\u0219ina. Da, \u0219tiu, cute. Secretul e s\u0103 alegi cu cine vrei s\u0103 lucrezi, iar criteriul de baz\u0103 s\u0103 fie modul \u00een care e\u0219ti tratat.
\nFain-frumos, numai c\u0103 eu sunt \u00een perioada PMS. \u0218i nu, nu sunt isteric\u0103, dup\u0103 cum spun legendele urbane despre PMS, \u00een schimb \u00eemi ies co\u0219uri, herpes la gur\u0103, bube dac\u0103 m\u0103n\u00e2nc ceva nasol, etc. etc. \u0219i, printre alte simptome de-astea de imunitate footut\u0103 cu strig\u0103turi, am un r\u0103u de ma\u0219in\u0103 din acela, agravat 100%, de nu-i dai de cap nici cu o cutie de emetiral. <\/p>\n

Mkay. \u0218i m\u0103 ia r\u0103ul de ma\u0219in\u0103. \u0218i simt c\u0103 \u00eemi vine s\u0103 vomit crunt. Oamenii deschid fereastra. Afar\u0103, cald \u0219i miros ur\u00e2t de ora\u0219 jegos. Dau drumul la aer condi\u021bionat. Alergie. \u00cen fine, c\u00e2nd ajungem la intersec\u021bia Diham, simt senza\u021bia aia specific\u0103 pe care o experiment\u0103m to\u021bi c\u00e2nd \u0219tim c\u0103 o s\u0103 vomit\u0103m \u0219i zic:
\n-D\u0103-mi voie s\u0103 cobor, te rog, c\u0103 de aici merg pe jos.
\n-Vai, dar cum…
\n-Vomit, bro. Nu mai pot, mi-e foarte, foarte r\u0103u. Te rog, las\u0103-m\u0103 aici.
\n-Singur\u0103 \u00een noapte a\u0219a?
\n-B\u0103i, \u00ee\u0163i vomit \u00een ma\u015fin\u0103 \u015fi nu vrei asta! Nu mai pot s\u0103 m\u0103 \u021bin! Am o scurt\u0103tur\u0103 \u0219i ajung acas\u0103, sunt ok.
\nC\u00e2nd aude de vomitat \u00een ma\u015fin\u0103, omul se execut\u0103 instant \u0219i eu m\u0103 uit \u00een jur. Deja icneam a grea\u021b\u0103, \u00eentrebarea nu era dac\u0103, \u00eentrebarea era unde \u021bintesc, s\u0103 nu fac deranj stradal. <\/p>\n

\u0218i v\u0103d un co\u0219 de gunoi deschis, ag\u0103\u021bat de st\u00e2lp, numai bun de astfel de manevre. M\u0103 aplec asupra lui \u0219i \u00eencep s\u0103 m\u0103 desf\u0103\u0219or cu talent. <\/p>\n

Ceva mai \u00eencolo, era una dintre c\u00e2rciumile zonei, \u0219i din c\u00e2rcium\u0103 ies trei be\u021bivi, categoria b\u0103tr\u00e2ni \u0219i mucali\u0163i. Se opresc to\u021bi trei \u0219i asist\u0103 cu \u00eenm\u0103rmurire \u0219i respect la f\u00e2nt\u00e2nile mele arteziene, apoi \u00eel aud pe unul, aproape afectuos: <\/p>\n

-Asta-i sora noastr\u0103. <\/p>\n

\u0218i altul. <\/p>\n

-Auzi, fata, s\u0103 comanzi \u0219i m\u00e2ncare data viitoare. <\/p>\n

Sincer\u0103 s\u0103 fiu, niciodat\u0103 nu mi s-a \u00eent\u00e2mplat s\u0103 m\u0103 bu\u0219easc\u0103 un r\u00e2s isteric \u00een timp ce vomitam \u00een spasme. Dar de data asta, chiar am transpus \u00een fapte cli\u0219eul \u0103la internautic cu “am scos cafea pe n\u0103ri”. Am scos tot meniul zilei pe n\u0103ri. <\/p>\n

-P\u0103i nu a\u015fa, fata, \u00eent\u00e2i termini de vomitat \u015fi pe urm\u0103 r\u00e2zi, m\u0103 d\u0103sc\u0103le\u015fte altul pe un ton de profesionist. <\/p>\n

-M\u0103 scuza\u0163i, sunt \u00eencep\u0103toare \u00een domeniu, am zis eu, printre un acces de tuse, un nou icnet \u015fi un hohot de r\u00e2s. <\/p>\n

N-au mai zis nimic, au plecat agale. Am terminat \u00een cele din urm\u0103 de vomitat, dar am r\u00e2s singur\u0103 tot drumul spre cas\u0103 de acest tutorial inedit Cum s\u0103 be\u0163iv 101.
\nSora lor, huh? <\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

\u00ce\u0163i plac textele Trollywood? Po\u0163i sus\u0163ine \u015fi tu proiectul.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

Vrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe Twitter<\/a><\/strong> \u015fi Instagram<\/a><\/strong>. Sau, mai nou, devino parte a comunit\u0103\u021bii mele pe Reddit<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Ieri am b\u0103gat munc\u0103 la una din companiile cu care colaborez. \u0218i pentru c\u0103 se f\u0103cuse t\u00e2rzior, oamenii m-au adus acas\u0103 cu ma\u0219ina. Da,...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":9373,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-17819","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/FACEPALM.png?fit=800%2C486&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17819","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=17819"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17819\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":17821,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17819\/revisions\/17821"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/9373"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=17819"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=17819"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=17819"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}