{"id":18052,"date":"2019-07-23T09:19:20","date_gmt":"2019-07-23T06:19:20","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=18052"},"modified":"2019-07-23T09:31:45","modified_gmt":"2019-07-23T06:31:45","slug":"imbatraneste-gratie","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/imbatraneste-gratie\/","title":{"rendered":"\u00cemb\u0103tr\u00e2ne\u015fte cu gra\u0163ie!"},"content":{"rendered":"

M\u0103 uit pe Instagram la conturile zei\u0163elor: Mariah Carey, Jennifer Lopez, RuPaul. \u00cemi place teribil modul \u00een care aceste dive de v\u00e2rste respectabile fac efort consistent \u0219i constant s\u0103 men\u021bin\u0103 tonusul tineresc al corpului, al pielii, s\u0103\u00a0 r\u0103m\u00e2n\u0103 fabuloase \u0219i s\u0103 \u00ee\u0219i prezinte talentul \u00een cea mai bun\u0103 form\u0103 fizic\u0103 posibil\u0103.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Despre RuPaul chiar am aceast\u0103 cugetare pe care o repet de c\u00e2te ori apuc: “De c\u00e2te ori am o zi proast\u0103, m\u0103 uit la ultima \u0219edin\u021b\u0103 foto a lui Ru \u0219i \u00eemi spun: Dac\u0103 un b\u0103rbat de 57 de ani poate s\u0103 arate a\u015fa, eu chiar nu am nici o scuz\u0103”.<\/p>\n

Mbun, \u015fi cum Instagramurile lor sunt uria\u015fe, cu sute de mii de comentatori, v\u0103d cu o frecven\u0163\u0103 iritant\u0103 sugaciul corect politic, care vine s\u0103 le \u015fcoleasc\u0103:<\/p>\n

Dar de ce nu \u00eemb\u0103tr\u00e2ne\u015fti cu gra\u0163ie? De ce nu \u00ee\u0163i \u00eembr\u0103\u0163i\u015fezi v\u00e2rsta? De ce nu te la\u015fi cum te-a proiectat Dumnezeu? De ce nu accep\u0163i c\u0103 blablabla herp derp?<\/p>\n

\u015ei atunci pe mine m\u0103 apuc\u0103 mereu spumele \u015fi m\u0103 bag la ceart\u0103. P\u00e2n\u0103 \u00eencepe \u015fi Instagram s\u0103 dea banuri de 30 de zile. Dar a \u00eencetat s\u0103-mi pese de banuri. P\u00e2n\u0103 la urm\u0103, care vrei s\u0103 m\u0103 cite\u015fti \u015ftii s\u0103 tastezi \u015fi singur lorenalupu.com \u015fi nu ai nevoie de o re\u0163ea social\u0103 stupid\u0103 s\u0103 m\u0103 g\u0103se\u015fti.<\/p>\n

Mbun, deci vine prost sau proast\u0103 corect(\u0103) politic \u015fi \u00eencepe s\u0103 \u0163in\u0103 predici despre \u00eemb\u0103tr\u00e2nirea cu gra\u0163ie.<\/p>\n

De fiecare dat\u0103, pun aceea\u015fi \u00eentrebare:<\/p>\n

What the fick is so graceful about letting yourself go?<\/p>\n

\u00cen traducere:<\/p>\n

Ce plua lui Hector \u015fi a lui Terente e at\u00e2t de gra\u0163ios \u00een a te neglija?<\/p>\n

It’s nature’s course, r\u0103spunde prostul sau proasta.<\/p>\n

OK, so it’s nature’s course to have hair in your anus and have dingleberries hanging on them after you shit. Would you be so graceful to leave it as it is?<\/p>\n

Pe asta n-o mai traduc, c\u0103 mizez pe inteligen\u0163a cititorului.<\/p>\n

La care prostul sau prostul sau proasta \u00eencepe s\u0103 ewwww, grosss, omg, i\u015ftenem, you need jesus \u015fi se car\u0103.<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

A\u015fa, putem s\u0103 fim gra\u0163io\u015fi s\u0103 nu ne mai vaccin\u0103m, dup\u0103 cum spune melodios Olivia lui Andi (c\u0103 ea are voce sub\u0163ire, delicat\u0103) \u015fi s\u0103 murim gra\u0163ios de poliomielit\u0103 sau de TBC.<\/p>\n

A\u015fa, putem s\u0103 fim gra\u0163io\u015fi s\u0103 nu ne mai sp\u0103l\u0103m \u015fi s\u0103 pu\u0163im gra\u0163ios \u00een autobuz \u015fi la metrou.<\/p>\n

A\u015fa, putem s\u0103 fim gra\u0163io\u015fi s\u0103 nu ne pip\u0103im de umfl\u0103turi \u015fi s\u0103 murim gra\u0163ios de cancer.<\/p>\n

\u015ei tot a\u015fa.<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

Am senza\u0163ia c\u0103 natura ne-a creat vulnerabili la boli, jego\u015fi, c\u0103ca\u0163i \u015fi pi\u015fa\u0163i special pentru a ne testa cam c\u00e2t suntem de pro\u015fti \u015fi special pentru c\u0103 NU vrea s\u0103 te la\u015fi \u00een voia ei.<\/p>\n

Special s\u0103 ne dea teme: s\u0103 invent\u0103m moduri \u00een care putem deveni mai buni dec\u00e2t natura. Supranaturali, dac\u0103 vre\u0163i.<\/p>\n

C\u0103 unora le e foarte lene s\u0103-\u015fi mi\u015fte hoitul p\u00e2n\u0103 la sal\u0103 sau s\u0103 renun\u0163e la o treia felie de pl\u0103cint\u0103, \u00een\u0163eleg. C\u0103 se zg\u00e2rcesc la o crem\u0103 hidratant\u0103 \u015fi c\u0103 au mereu scuze s\u0103 nu bea ap\u0103, \u015fi pe asta o \u00een\u0163eleg. \u00cen fond, circul\u0103 pe net poze cu mine oscil\u00e2nd ca greutate de la piele \u015fi os p\u00e2n\u0103 la categoria elef\u0103n\u0163elului c\u0103ruia nu-i place vocea mea.<\/p>\n

Partea pe care n-o \u00een\u0163eleg, \u015fi care m\u0103 irit\u0103, este: unde e “gra\u0163ia” \u00een a fi neglijent cu tine?<\/p>\n

\u00cen care col\u0163i\u015for al acestei st\u0103ri de fapt se ascunde?<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

Ce e gra\u0163ios \u00een a avea gu\u015f\u0103, sau piei l\u0103sate, sau riduri ad\u00e2nci ce puteau fi evitate din timp, \u015fi asta doar pentru c\u0103 nu ai avut \u00een tine voin\u0163\u0103 \u015fi determinare s\u0103 lup\u0163i cu tendin\u0163a de a procrastina pe canapea sau de a cr\u0103pa \u00een tine de zici c\u0103 \u00eencepe m\u00e2ine foametea mondial\u0103?<\/p>\n

Ce e gra\u0163ios \u00een a nu opune rezisten\u0163\u0103 degrad\u0103rii biologice, mai ales dac\u0103 dispui de mijloacele financiare s-o faci? \u015ei mai ales \u00een zilele noastre, c\u00e2nd progresul \u015ftiin\u0163ei ne ajut\u0103 pe toate planurile, de la cel fizic la cel mintal, cu o multitudine de solu\u0163ii?<\/p>\n

Ce e gra\u0163ios \u00een a avea o singur\u0103 via\u0163\u0103, o singur\u0103 \u015fans\u0103 la fericire, iar tu s\u0103 \u00eencepi, de la 30 \u00een sus, s\u0103 \u00ee\u0163i negi \u0163ie \u00eensu\u0163i orice drept la tinere\u0163e \u015fi frumuse\u0163e?<\/p>\n

Ce e gra\u0163ios \u00een conven\u0163ia asta retardat\u0103, c\u0103 omul are dreptul la un singur deceniu de tinere\u0163e \u015fi frumuse\u0163e \u015fi trebuie s\u0103 \u00eenghit\u0103, obligatoriu, altele \u015fase \u00een care e trecut \u00een catastiful de cadavre ambulante?<\/p>\n

Nu, nu e nimic gra\u0163ios.<\/p>\n

Forza, Mariah, forza, JLo, forza, RuPaul.<\/p>\n

Cele trei gra\u0163ii ale mele.<\/p>\n

Chiar v\u0103 rog din inim\u0103 s\u0103 NU \u00eemb\u0103tr\u00e2ni\u0163i “gra\u0163ios”. \u00cemb\u0103tr\u00e2ni\u0163i obscen de vanitos, cu poponea\u0163a \u015fi decolteul pe afar\u0103, cum ne-a\u0163i obi\u015fnuit.<\/p>\n

Am nevoie de modele care s\u0103 m\u0103 scoat\u0103 de sub plapum\u0103 \u00een a doua zi de ciclu, aia care e cea mai grea, sau \u00eentr-o zi \u00een care un alt proiect \u00een care am investit munc\u0103 \u015fi bani se surp\u0103 din lips\u0103 de loialitate \u015fi implicare a unor oameni care nu cunosc no\u0163iunea de angajament.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

\u00ce\u0163i plac textele Trollywood? Po\u0163i sus\u0163ine \u015fi tu proiectul.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

Vrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe Twitter<\/a><\/strong> \u015fi Instagram<\/a><\/strong>. Sau, mai nou, devino parte a comunit\u0103\u021bii mele pe Reddit<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

M\u0103 uit pe Instagram la conturile zei\u0163elor: Mariah Carey, Jennifer Lopez, RuPaul. \u00cemi place teribil modul \u00een care aceste dive de v\u00e2rste respectabile fac...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":18057,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-18052","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/J-Lo-at-DFC.png?fit=760%2C500&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18052","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=18052"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18052\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":18056,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18052\/revisions\/18056"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/18057"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=18052"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=18052"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=18052"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}