{"id":18218,"date":"2019-08-17T10:03:01","date_gmt":"2019-08-17T07:03:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=18218"},"modified":"2019-08-17T10:03:01","modified_gmt":"2019-08-17T07:03:01","slug":"cea-mai-buna-metoda-de-slabit","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/cea-mai-buna-metoda-de-slabit\/","title":{"rendered":"Cea mai bun\u0103 metod\u0103 de sl\u0103bit"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>St\u0103tea Bul\u0103 parcat pe canapea c\u00e2t era el de lung \u015fi de lat, sub ap\u0103sarea celor 135 de kilograme din dotare. R\u0103sufla din greu, dar \u00eensu\u015fi efortul de a r\u0103sufla \u00eel obosea \u015fi-l \u00eempingea s\u0103 mai \u00eendese \u00een gur\u0103 o lingur\u0103 de \u00eenghe\u0163at\u0103. Scrola internetul, c\u00e2nd deodat\u0103, pe Aliexpress, i-a ap\u0103rut superoferta.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Cea mai bun\u0103 metod\u0103 de sl\u0103bit! Cea mai fabuloas\u0103 metod\u0103 de sl\u0103bit. \u00cencearc\u0103 programul nostru \u00een trei etape, s\u0103 sl\u0103be\u015fti GARANTAT! Po\u0163i s\u0103 m\u0103n\u00e2nci tot ce vrei tu!!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Bul\u0103 nu sl\u0103bise garantat nici cu garcinia cambodia, nici cu ketone de zmeur\u0103, nici cu supa de varz\u0103. Dimpotriv\u0103, supa de varz\u0103 fusese un excelent preludiu la o ditamai ceafa de porc cu o vadr\u0103 de cartofi pr\u0103ji\u0163i. A\u015fa c\u0103 \u015fi-a zis: Heeeei. ce am de pierdut. De fapt, da, am de pierdut. Multe, multe kilograme. Dar nu se pierd, d\u0103-le dracu&#8217;.<\/p>\n<p>\u015ei a dat click.<\/p>\n<p>Pachetul 1:<\/p>\n<p><strong>Pierde 5 kg \u00eentr-o s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2n\u0103.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>5 kilograme era o promisiune cam moale, dar cumva, exact asta i-a dat \u00eencredere. A accesat pachetul, a pl\u0103tit, \u015fi a a\u015fteptat s\u0103-i fie livrat \u00een inbox. Nimic. &#8220;Prost e cine crede vr\u0103jelile de pe Aliexpress&#8221;, a oftat Bul\u0103 \u015fi a adormit cu \u00eenghe\u0163ata scurs\u0103 pe tricou, pentru c\u0103 era prea obosit s-o bage \u00eenapoi \u00een frigider.<\/p>\n<p>Diminea\u0163a, sun\u0103 cineva la u\u015f\u0103.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Cine s\u0103 fie?&#8221; oft\u0103 Bul\u0103 \u015fi se \u00eentoarse pe partea cealalt\u0103.<\/p>\n<p>\u0162\u00e2r\u00e2itul persist\u0103.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Aoleu, ce e a\u015fa urgent&#8221; se str\u00e2mb\u0103 Bul\u0103 \u00een timp ce-\u015fi ridica osemintele \u015fi cele 135 de kilograme din pat.<\/p>\n<p>Era o femeie goal\u0103 pu\u015fc\u0103, purt\u00e2nd numai o pereche de adida\u015fi roz. \u00cen m\u00e2n\u0103 \u0163inea o pancart\u0103:<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Dac\u0103 m\u0103 prinzi, m\u0103 po\u0163i poseda cu s\u0103lb\u0103ticie.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Bul\u0103 nu mai avusese parte de s\u0103lb\u0103ticie de prea mul\u0163i ani s\u0103 sune cool. Astfel c\u0103 o rupse la fug\u0103 dup\u0103 femeie. \u015ei fugir\u0103, \u015fi fugir\u0103, \u015fi tot fugir\u0103, p\u00e2n\u0103 c\u00e2nd, dup\u0103 cam o or\u0103, femeia d\u0103du col\u0163ul pe o str\u0103du\u0163\u0103 \u015fi o pierdu.<\/p>\n<p>Tot a\u015fa a doua zi.<\/p>\n<p>Tot a\u015fa a treia.<\/p>\n<p>Tot a\u015fa, toat\u0103 s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2na.<\/p>\n<p>La final, Bul\u0103 se sui pe c\u00e2ntar \u015fi constat\u0103: Avea 130 de kilograme. Wow.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Deci, a func\u0163ionat&#8221;, se bucur\u0103 el.<\/p>\n<p>D\u0103du click cu \u00eencredere la pachetul urm\u0103tor:<\/p>\n<p><strong>Pierde 10 kg \u00eentr-o s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2n\u0103.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>OK, zise Bul\u0103, d\u0103du click pe pachet, pl\u0103ti \u015fi nu se mai stres\u0103 \u00een acea zi, \u015ftiind c\u0103 ora de activitate a programului e diminea\u0163a.<\/p>\n<p>Sure thing, a doua zi diminea\u0163a, sun\u0103 cineva la u\u015f\u0103.<\/p>\n<p>Era o zei\u0163\u0103 latina perfect\u0103, sigur fusese Miss Columbia sau Venezuela anii trecu\u0163i. Frumoas\u0103 de ame\u0163eai, cu un corp apetisant, s\u00e2ni rotunzi, fese tari \u015fi picioare care nu se mai terminau. Goal\u0103 ca un frigider de om s\u0103rac, except\u00e2nd adida\u015fii roz de rigoare, \u015fi pancarta:<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Dac\u0103 m\u0103 prinzi, m\u0103 po\u0163i poseda cu s\u0103lb\u0103ticie!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Prrrr, forn\u0103i Bul\u0103 ca un cal \u015fi o rupse la fug\u0103 dup\u0103 femeie. Fugir\u0103 ei ce fugir\u0103, cam dou\u0103 ore, apoi femeia profit\u0103 de un moment de neaten\u0163ie din partea lui Bul\u0103 \u015fi disp\u0103ru pe o str\u0103du\u0163\u0103 l\u0103turalnic\u0103.<\/p>\n<p>\u015ei tot a\u015fa, toat\u0103 s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2na.<\/p>\n<p>La final, c\u00e2nd se uit\u0103 Bul\u0103 la c\u00e2ntar: 120 de kilograme. Bun, bravo.<\/p>\n<p>Intr\u0103 repede pe program:<\/p>\n<p><strong>Pierde 20 de kilograme \u00eentr-o s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2n\u0103.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Da, vreau&#8221;, d\u0103du Bul\u0103 click, deja ner\u0103bd\u0103tor, pentru c\u0103 \u00eencepuse s\u0103-i plac\u0103 s\u0103 se uite \u00een oglind\u0103, chit c\u0103 era departe de a fi un Adonis. Pl\u0103ti \u015fi se culc\u0103 devreme, pentru c\u0103 anticipa c\u0103 va avea activitate de diminea\u0163\u0103.<\/p>\n<p>\u015ei desigur, sun\u0103 cineva, exact cum se a\u015fteptase.<\/p>\n<p>Bul\u0103 deschise u\u015fa \u015fi r\u0103mase perplex.<\/p>\n<p>Era un negru musculos kenyan, gol pu\u015fc\u0103, numai fibr\u0103, cu un \u015ftromeleag lung de jum\u0103tate de metru \u015fi gros ca un parizer bolognez. Gol, cu excep\u0163ia binecunoscu\u0163ilor adida\u015fi roz.<\/p>\n<p>\u015ei purta o pancart\u0103.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Dac\u0103 te prind, te voi poseda cu s\u0103lb\u0103ticie!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>***<\/p>\n<p>Preferi o metod\u0103 mai sigur\u0103, mai s\u0103n\u0103toas\u0103 \u015fi avizat\u0103 de medici? \u00cencearc\u0103 noom.com. Acesta e un advertorial de afiliat.<\/p>\n<h3><a href=\"\/\/noom.8utb.net\/c\/1813774\/507143\/8591\">Noom- Drumul c\u0103tre un &#8220;tu&#8221; mai suplu \u00eencepe aici. Intr\u0103 cu \u00eencredere.<\/a><\/h3>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" style=\"position: absolute; visibility: hidden;\" src=\"\/\/noom.8utb.net\/i\/1813774\/507143\/8591\" width=\"0\" height=\"0\" border=\"0\" \/><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>St\u0103tea Bul\u0103 parcat pe canapea c\u00e2t era el de lung \u015fi de lat, sub ap\u0103sarea celor 135 de kilograme din dotare. R\u0103sufla din greu,&#46;&#46;&#46;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":18219,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-18218","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/iStock-511931038.jpg?fit=2121%2C1414&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18218","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=18218"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18218\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":18220,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18218\/revisions\/18220"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/18219"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=18218"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=18218"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=18218"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}