{"id":18295,"date":"2019-09-13T10:28:47","date_gmt":"2019-09-13T07:28:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=18295"},"modified":"2019-09-13T10:29:31","modified_gmt":"2019-09-13T07:29:31","slug":"despre-comparatii-fara-rost","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/despre-comparatii-fara-rost\/","title":{"rendered":"Despre compara\u0163ii f\u0103r\u0103 rost"},"content":{"rendered":"

Acum c\u00e2teva zile, \u00eenainte s\u0103 iau ban pe Facebook, citeam pe peretele unei prietene cum s-a dus la magazin cu copiii: feti\u021ba, de v\u00e2rst\u0103 pre\u0219colar\u0103 \u0219i b\u0103ie\u021belul, un bebelu\u0219. Iar vaca de la cas\u0103 i-a spus copilei urm\u0103toarele:<\/p>\n

-E\u0219ti frumu\u0219ic\u0103, dar pu\u0219tiul \u0103sta e vedeta.<\/p>\n

Spre norocul general, feti\u021ba n-a \u00een\u021beles foarte bine ce \u00eenseamn\u0103 cuv\u00e2ntul “vedet\u0103”, iar mama a avut prezen\u0163a de spirit s\u0103 g\u0103seasc\u0103 o explica\u0163ie care s\u0103 n-o minimalizeze pe ea, \u015fi a\u015fa a evitat cu succes o lung\u0103 criz\u0103 de gelozie.<\/p>\n

Dar \u00eentrebarea mea este: de ce?<\/p>\n

\u00cen primul r\u00e2nd, c\u00e2nd copiii sunt mici, spiritul de competi\u0163ie dintre ei este acerb. \u015ei spiritul \u0103la de competi\u0163ie r\u0103m\u00e2ne la fel de fioros p\u00e2n\u0103 la moarte pentru mult\u0103 lume. N-o s\u0103 uit niciodat\u0103 momentul \u00een care am intervievat pentru Playboy pe unul dintre membrii unui grup de improviza\u0163ie extrem de popular, \u015fi \u00een mintea mea, \u0103sta era un serviciu de PR adus echipei ca \u00eentreg, dar c\u00e2nd m-am \u00eent\u00e2lnit \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103tor \u00een ora\u015f cu un alt membru al aceluia\u015fi grup, care f\u0103cuse mai multe filme \u015fi seriale, \u0103la m-a porc\u0103it lung c\u0103 “am trecut peste el”.<\/p>\n

Dac\u0103 oameni adul\u0163i, \u00een toat\u0103 firea, pot avea genul \u0103sta de reac\u0163ii infantile legate de aten\u0163ia \u00een plus pe care o prime\u015fte fratele lor, la ce s\u0103 te a\u015ftep\u0163i de la copii?<\/p>\n

\u015ei atunci:<\/p>\n

De ce s\u0103 facem genul \u0103sta de comentarii t\u00e2mpite?<\/p>\n

C\u00e2nd vine vorba de surori, toate rudele idioate \u015fi to\u0163i pro\u015ftii ne\u00eentreba\u0163i simt nevoia s\u0103 le informeze care e mai frumoas\u0103. De parc\u0103 persoana mai pu\u0163in frumoas\u0103 nu ar avea ad\u00e2nc \u00eentip\u0103rit\u0103 \u00een con\u015ftiin\u0163\u0103 informa\u0163ia c\u0103 a tras un bilet mai pu\u0163in norocos la loteria geneticii.<\/p>\n

\u00cen primul r\u00e2nd: de ce s\u0103 evalu\u0103m feti\u0163e, adic\u0103 ni\u015fte copila\u015fi, pe baza aspectului fizic? De ce s\u0103 nu le l\u0103s\u0103m s\u0103 se bucure de copil\u0103rie, c\u00e2nd \u00eenc\u0103 nu trebuie s\u0103 fie “sexul frumos”, whatever the fuck that means, supus pis\u0103logelilor de tot felul de c\u0103tre diver\u015fi lihni\u0163i de varii calibre?<\/p>\n

M\u0103car \u00een copil\u0103rie, hai s\u0103 le l\u0103s\u0103m naibii \u00een pace. Urmeaz\u0103 s\u0103 le streseze destui dup\u0103 ce ajung la adolescen\u0163\u0103.<\/p>\n

Exact ca remarca stupid\u0103 cu care e mai vedet\u0103, remarca stupid\u0103 cu care e mai frumoas\u0103 creeaz\u0103 doar o tensiune f\u0103r\u0103 miz\u0103 \u015fi f\u0103r\u0103 sens. Ranchiun\u0103 din partea celui clasificat drept inferior, \u015fi o form\u0103 bizar\u0103 de vinov\u0103\u0163ie \u015fi angoas\u0103 pentru persoana evaluat\u0103 drept “cea mai”. Te sim\u0163i prost fa\u0163\u0103 de cel\u0103lalt, \u00een primul r\u00e2nd, iar senza\u0163ia asta bate orice pl\u0103cere pe care \u0163i-ar fi putut-o face complimentul.<\/p>\n

Pe fratele meu l-au terorizat cu “de ce nu e\u015fti de\u015ftept ca sor\u0103-ta”. \u015ei m\u0103 jur, este un tip extrem de inteligent. Doar c\u0103 el avea nevoie de ajutor matern la lec\u0163ii, mai mult s\u0103-l \u0163in\u0103 concentrat dec\u00e2t pentru \u00een\u0163elegere, pe c\u00e2nd eu pufneam: De ce a\u015f avea nevoie s\u0103 m\u0103 ajute cineva la rahaturile astea simple.<\/p>\n

Am trecut prin \u015fcoal\u0103 ca ra\u0163a prin ap\u0103 \u015fi u\u015furin\u0163a cu care \u00een\u0163elegeam diver\u015fi algoritmi complica\u0163i a umplut de frustr\u0103ri pe mul\u0163i. Dar chiar nu era nevoie s\u0103-l fac\u0103 cineva pe fratele meu s\u0103 se simt\u0103 mai pu\u0163in ca om pentru asta. Compensa cu altele: voin\u0163\u0103 de a munci, spirit practic, responsabilitate, afec\u0163iune.<\/p>\n

\u015ei jur: c\u00e2nd \u00eencepea c\u00e2te o bab\u0103 din familie sau din vecini placa cu “de ce nu e\u015fti de\u015ftept ca sor\u0103-ta”, nu \u00eencasam un compliment. \u00cemi venea s\u0103 predau ni\u015fte lucr\u0103ri de control goale, s\u0103 mai echilibr\u0103m scorurile, \u015fi s\u0103 se dea jos cretinele de pe el. Mai ales c\u0103, la un test de IQ, probabil c\u0103 le-ar fi b\u0103tut din avion.<\/p>\n

De ce nu predam lucr\u0103rile de control goale?<\/p>\n

Pentru c\u0103, din alte surse, venea alt\u0103 imbecilitate: Aia cu femeile care sunt inferioare b\u0103rba\u0163ilor.<\/p>\n

\u015ei atunci, asta m\u0103 for\u0163a, f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103-mi doresc \u015fi f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103-mi propun, s\u0103 flutur continuu drapelul de excelen\u0163\u0103, s\u0103 demontez cli\u015feul la fiecare pas.<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

O alt\u0103 imbecilitate din aceea\u015fi categorie este: “Copila\u015f, pe cine iube\u015fti mai mult, pe mami sau pe tati?”.<\/p>\n

Fiecare familie are propriul ei echilibru legat de \u00eengrijirea investit\u0103 de fiecare dintre p\u0103rin\u0163i \u00een copil \u015fi asigurarea veniturilor necesare traiului de zi cu zi, dar, mai ales c\u00e2nd copilul este foarte mic (adic\u0103 exact v\u00e2rsta la care se pun aceste \u00eentreb\u0103ri dobitoace, pentru c\u0103 un pu\u015fti de 12 ani o s\u0103 se uite rece la tine \u015fi o s\u0103 zic\u0103: Nu v\u0103d care e problema ta), efortul \u015fi stresul pe care le presupune \u00eengrijirea lui sunt cele mai mari, \u015fi ambii p\u0103rin\u0163i sunt cu nervii serios afecta\u0163i de urlete nocturne, colici, schimbat de scutece de tz\u015fpe ori pe zi, trezire noaptea pentru hr\u0103nit \u015fi tot a\u015fa.<\/p>\n

Singurul lucru de care n-au nevoie e s\u0103 aud\u0103 c\u0103 sunt mai pu\u0163in iubi\u0163i.<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

A\u015f vrea s\u0103 propun o nou\u0103 conven\u0163ie social\u0103. S\u0103 cre\u0103m pistola\u015ful cu ap\u0103 fashion. Adic\u0103 decorat cu floricele, stelu\u0163e, glitter, aviona\u015fe, ce vrea fiecare. \u015ei c\u00e2nd vine c\u00e2te unul din \u0103sta \u015fi pune o \u00eentrebare sau face o remarc\u0103 de miz\u0103 zero, care nu face dec\u00e2t s\u0103 genereze disconfort, s\u0103 fie social acceptabil s\u0103-l \u00eempro\u015fti cu ap\u0103 \u00een fa\u0163\u0103.<\/p>\n

E ap\u0103, deci nu-i d\u0103uneaz\u0103 cu nimic. Dar poate a\u015fa insufl\u0103m un pic de bun sim\u0163 \u00een popula\u0163ie.<\/p>\n

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***<\/p>\n

\u00ce\u0163i plac textele Trollywood? Po\u0163i sus\u0163ine \u015fi tu proiectul.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

***
\nVrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe Twitter<\/a><\/strong> \u015fi Instagram<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Acum c\u00e2teva zile, \u00eenainte s\u0103 iau ban pe Facebook, citeam pe peretele unei prietene cum s-a dus la magazin cu copiii: feti\u021ba, de v\u00e2rst\u0103...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":9373,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-18295","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/FACEPALM.png?fit=800%2C486&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18295","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=18295"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18295\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":18387,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18295\/revisions\/18387"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/9373"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=18295"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=18295"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=18295"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}