Am o profund\u0103 nep\u0103sare de tot ce nu e cazul s\u0103 m\u0103 priveasc\u0103. Dar \u0219tii c\u0103 X se foote acum cu Y \u0219i… \u0218i? M\u0103 afecteaz\u0103 cu ceva vie\u021bile lui X sau lui Y? Nu. Mi-au jurat X sau Y credin\u021b\u0103 la altar? No way. Minunat. S\u0103 se foot\u0103 s\u0103n\u0103to\u0219i \u0219i s\u0103 se \u00eenveleasc\u0103 \u00een dulcea mea necuno\u0219tin\u021b\u0103 de cauz\u0103 dup\u0103, s\u0103 nu-i trag\u0103 curentul.<\/p>\n
Singura b\u00e2rf\u0103 care \u00eemi ciule\u0219te \u0219i mie urechile este cea cu \u021bepari r\u0103u-platnici \u0219i escroci care p\u0103c\u0103lesc arti\u0219ti. \u00cen rest, sexul, drogurile, vie\u021bile private sau num\u0103rul de kilograme al altora m\u0103 las\u0103 dureros de indiferent\u0103.<\/p>\n
Dec\u00e2t s\u0103 b\u00e2rfesc, prefer s\u0103 r\u0103spund la comentariile cititorilor, pe Facebook. M\u0103car \u0103ia povestesc lucruri despre ei \u00een\u0219i\u0219i, nu despre al\u021bii.<\/p>\n
P\u0103l\u0103vr\u0103geala \u00een gol.<\/strong><\/p>\n Singura persoan\u0103 c\u0103reia \u00eei ofer timpul meu pentru blabla f\u0103r\u0103 finalitate e maic\u0103-mea. Maic\u0103-mea s-a chinuit s\u0103 m\u0103 creasc\u0103 singur\u0103, cum a putut \u0219i din pu\u021binul pe care l-a avut, \u0219i taman de aceea, are timpul meu nelimitat s\u0103-mi povesteasc\u0103 la ce reality showuri se uit\u0103, ce g\u0103te\u0219te, c\u00e2nd scoate c\u00e2inele la plimbare, cum jura\u021bii de la nu \u0219tiu ce emisiune de talente \u00eei saboteaz\u0103 ei preferatul \u0219i cum Bucure\u0219tiul fur\u0103 averile Ardealului.<\/p>\n \u00cen rest, dac\u0103 m\u0103 suni sau \u00eemi trimi\u021bi mesaj \u0219i ba\u021bi c\u00e2mpii aiurea te voi \u00eentreba dup\u0103 a treia amabilitate: ok, ce pot face pentru tine? Dar de ce trebuie s\u0103 vreau ceva??<\/p>\n Nu trebuie, \u00eendr\u0103zneam doar s\u0103 sper c\u0103 exist\u0103 un subiect \u0219i c\u0103 o s\u0103 trecem la el.<\/p>\n A, nu, nu. \u0218i s\u0103 vezi, fat\u0103…<\/p>\n Unde urmeaz\u0103 ve\u0219nic ceva ce nu vrei s\u0103 vezi. Fie b\u00e2rfa, fie urm\u0103toarea categorie, \u0219i anume<\/p>\n Confesiunea amoroas\u0103 nesolicitat\u0103\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n C\u00e2nd \u00eencepe cineva s\u0103 mi se vaiete de via\u021ba lui amoroas\u0103 \u0219i de faptul c\u0103 n-are parte de amor veritabil, \u00eemi vine s\u0103 m\u0103 arunc de la parter.<\/p>\n Eu, una, nu simt s\u0103 m\u0103 arunc la genul \u0103sta de m\u0103rturisiri cu oricine. Cumva, mi se par ni\u0219te probleme at\u00e2t de intime, \u00eenc\u00e2t NU \u00eemi doresc s\u0103 fac pe diver\u0219i p\u0103rta\u0219i la ele.<\/p>\n Plus c\u0103 problemele amoroase dau adev\u0103rata m\u0103sur\u0103 a prostiei noastre. Femeie de cam 40 de ani \u021bi se pl\u00e2nge c\u0103 i-a tras-o unul din prima, dup\u0103 o b\u0103ut\u0103 \u0219i-o vr\u0103jeal\u0103, \u0219i n-o mai sun\u0103. D\u0103\u0103h. Mascul de 60 \u0219i ceva, \u00eensurat de pe vremea filmului alb-negru \u0219i lipsit de orice vino-\u00eencoace extern a combinat o prin\u021besic\u0103 siliconat\u0103 \u0219i \u021bi se pl\u00e2nge c\u0103 ea e interesat\u0103 doar de bani, nu de suflet. Lololol. Pentru suflet, g\u0103sea pe unul de v\u00e2rsta ei.<\/p>\n C\u00e2nd vii \u0219i-mi faci coming out-ul ca prost, mi-e foarte greu s\u0103 te privesc ca pe un om inteligent din acel punct \u00eencolo. De aceea, hai s\u0103 ne \u021binem fiecare vie\u021bile amoroase acas\u0103, s\u0103 ne putem respecta.<\/p>\n “P\u0103i, da, Lorena, dar tu dai sfaturi foarte bune \u00een po\u0219ta redac\u021biei.”<\/p>\n Sure, dar po\u015fta redac\u0163iei nu-mi paraziteaz\u0103 timpul. C\u00e2nd omul \u0163i se vaiet\u0103 tete a tete, sau mobil a mobil, \u00ee\u0163i r\u0103pe\u015fte dou\u0103-trei ore din via\u0163a ta. La po\u015fta redac\u0163iei, el st\u0103 dou\u0103 – trei ore, poate chiar mai mult, s\u0103 a\u015ftearn\u0103 cear\u015fafurile acelea interminabile, dar eu termin de citit mailul \u00een cinci minute.<\/p>\n \u015ei dac\u0103 multe dintre cear\u015fafurile interminabile vi se par plictisitoare cu spume, guess what: exact a\u015fa sunt confesiunile amoroase \u00een via\u0163a real\u0103.<\/p>\n \u00ce\u0163i vine s\u0103-\u0163i smulgi p\u0103rul din cap auzindu-le.<\/p>\n Insisten\u021bele.<\/strong><\/p>\n Sunt lucruri pe care pot sau vreau s\u0103 le fac \u0219i lucruri pe care nu pot sau nu vreau s\u0103 le fac. \u0218i oameni care pricep sau nu pricep c\u0103 nu pot b\u0103ga pe g\u00e2tul altora lucruri pe care ace\u0219tia din urm\u0103 nu le vor.<\/p>\n Pe ace\u0219tia din urm\u0103 i-a\u0219 bate numai \u00een cap cu un bocanc masiv de munte, cu \u021binte.<\/p>\n Iar apoi, \u00eencep s\u0103 bage \u0219antaj emo\u021bional, insulte voalate, insinu\u0103ri de prost gust \u0219i o gr\u0103mad\u0103 de alte manevre pseudo-persuasive, iar asta nu doar c\u0103 nu m\u0103 convinge, dar m\u0103 \u0219i irit\u0103 teribil de tare.<\/p>\n Dac\u0103 m\u0103 interesa ce mi se cerea, acceptam din prima, sau m\u0103car spuneam ceva de genul: M\u0103 g\u00e2ndesc \u0219i revin cu un r\u0103spuns.<\/p>\n C\u00e2nd spun “nu”, e ceva ce chiar NU m\u0103 intereseaz\u0103 \u015fi nu exist\u0103 nivelul de insisten\u0163\u0103, presiune, frecare la icre sau stres care s\u0103-mi induc\u0103 interes.<\/p>\n Mai ales c\u0103, a\u015fa cum se \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103 mereu \u00een via\u0163\u0103, nivelul de insisten\u0163e iritante utilizat de X s\u0103-\u0163i cear\u0103 un anumit lucru e invers propor\u0163ional cu temeiul justificat de a cere lucrul respectiv.<\/p>\n Arogan\u021ba.<\/strong><\/p>\n Luna trecut\u0103, mi-a venit \u00eentre\u0163inerea 100 de lei. Precizez, stau \u00eentr-un bloc de garsoniere \u00een care, pe timp de var\u0103, \u00eentre\u021binerea vine cam 50 – 60 de lei. Mai ales c\u0103 vara nu prea stau locului.<\/p>\n \u0218i m\u0103 uit eu \u00een tabel: 105 lei. C\u00e2nd merg s\u0103 pl\u0103tesc, \u00eel \u00eentreb pe administrator, un mitic autentic de mod\u0103 veche, tat\u0103l m\u00e2rlan al cocalarului zilelor noastre:<\/p>\n -Nu v\u0103 sup\u0103ra\u021bi, de ce a venit \u00eentre\u021binerea mai mare dec\u00e2t \u00een lunile obi\u0219nuite de var\u0103?<\/p>\n -Da’ ce, drag\u0103, 105 e mult pentru chirie \u00een Bucure\u015fti semicentral?<\/p>\n S\u0103 mooori tu cu m\u0103-ta, \u00eemi murmur eu.<\/p>\n -Domnule, \u015fi la Bucure\u015fti semicentral \u015fi \u00een Cuca M\u0103c\u0103ii periferie, contabilitatea se face la fel. Am \u00eentrebat pentru ce \u00eemi cere\u0163i 105 lei \u015fi a\u015ftept un r\u0103spuns la obiect. C\u0103 dac\u0103 nu, data viitoare vin cu proprietarul de m\u00e2nu\u0163\u0103 \u015fi poate \u00eei explica\u0163i lui.<\/p>\n -A, dadada, au fost repara\u0163ii la gaz.<\/p>\n -\u015ei nu putea\u0163i s\u0103-mi da\u0163i r\u0103spunsul \u0103sta din prima? Trebuie mereu s\u0103 arate omul col\u0163ii, s\u0103 extrag\u0103 comportament civilizat?<\/p>\n \u015ei e story of my life. \u00cen orice func\u0163ie \u00eenlocuibil\u0103 de doi bani se strecoar\u0103 ni\u015fte indivizi pro\u015fti de respir\u0103 pe anus, care subit \u00eencep s\u0103 se cread\u0103 plasa\u0163i pe soclu \u015fi s\u0103 caute s\u0103 urineze cu jet pe al\u0163ii.<\/p>\n Dac\u0103 ai preten\u0163ia s\u0103-\u0163i dau 40 de lei \u00een plus, \u00eemi explici pentru cei sunt cei 40 de lei c\u00e2nd te \u00eentreb, nu m\u0103 iei cu vr\u0103jeala penal\u0103 de \u015fmecheri, c\u0103 nu \u0163ine. Bucure\u015fti semicentral se reflect\u0103 \u00een pre\u0163ul chiriei. \u00centre\u0163inerea n-are NICI O leg\u0103tur\u0103.<\/p>\n “Vai, Loreno, de ce nu e\u015fti feminin\u0103?”<\/p>\n Cum rahat s\u0103 fii feminin\u0103, c\u00e2nd invazia de boi arogan\u0163i te oblig\u0103 s\u0103 fii mereu cu m\u0103nu\u015fa de box la tine, strict pentru a putea func\u0163iona normal?<\/p>\n Oamenii care se vor ruga\u021bi.<\/strong><\/p>\n \u0102\u015ftia-s \u0103ia care \u015fi-au asumat c\u0103 fac un lucru. A\u0163i stabilit clar condi\u0163iile, s\u0103 nu existe nel\u0103muriri. \u015ei apoi tot ei au nevoie de 70 de mailuri \u015fi 5884 de telefoane s\u0103 livreze ce \u015fi-au asumat c\u0103 vor livra.<\/p>\n Eu, ca un om care are repulsie la insisten\u0163e, ur\u0103sc s\u0103 insist cam la fel de mult pe c\u00e2t ur\u0103sc s\u0103 insiste al\u0163ii la mine. \u015ei nu v\u0103d rostul milogelii lungi cu basca \u00een m\u00e2n\u0103 \u00een condi\u0163iile \u00een care am stabilit clar ni\u015fte lucruri.<\/p>\n Vrei oameni s\u0103 at\u00e2rne de tine \u015fi s\u0103 te roage s\u0103 le cedezi? Ai satisfac\u0163ie s\u0103 vezi t\u00e2mpi\u0163i cer\u015find aten\u0163ie? F\u0103 videochat. Eu nu am r\u0103bdare s\u0103 m\u0103 milogesc \u015fi dup\u0103 ce v\u0103d c\u0103 extrag lucruri deja convenite doar cu cle\u015ftele, la un moment dat \u00eemi bag piciorul.<\/p>\n “Glumele” agresive.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n Sunt unii care \u00eencep s\u0103 te atace enervant, \u015fi au impresia c\u0103 dac\u0103 pun trei m\u0103m\u0103ligi r\u00e2njite din tastatur\u0103 sau \u00ee\u0163i r\u00e2njesc \u00een fa\u0163\u0103, s\u0103 sugereze “glum\u0103\u0103\u0103”, sunt mai pu\u0163in enervan\u0163i.<\/p>\n Nu, coaie! (mul\u0163umesc, Micutzu, se cump\u0103r\u0103.) Ai glume de genul \u0103sta cu mine c\u00e2nd stabilim reciproc c\u0103 avem glume t\u00e2mpite. Dac\u0103 numai tu le ai \u015fi eu sugerez fin c\u0103 tu m\u0103 amuz\u0103, iar tu insi\u015fti bovin \u00een ele, o s\u0103 scot \u015fi eu glumele agresive la tine, \u015fi promit c\u0103 o s\u0103 te usture.<\/p>\n Glumele cu tragere de br\u0103cinari func\u0163ioneaz\u0103 \u00eentre oameni care sunt deja prieteni. Dac\u0103 nu exist\u0103 intimitate, nu o po\u0163i mima. Iese fake \u015fi for\u0163at.<\/p>\n Cozile\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n Oh, my, goood, c\u00e2t m\u0103 pot scoate din s\u0103rite oamenii \u00een \u015firuri, a\u015ftept\u00e2nd s\u0103 pice para m\u0103l\u0103ia\u0163\u0103 \u00een gura lui n\u0103t\u0103flea\u0163\u0103. De c\u00e2nd a f\u0103cut ANAF spa\u0163iu virtual, n-am mai c\u0103lcat \u00eentr-o institu\u0163ie ever. De c\u00e2nd fiecare utilitate are op\u0163iunea pl\u0103\u0163ii pe net, am redevenit un rom\u00e2n fericit.\u00a0 Nu mai vreau s\u0103 mi se \u00eendese cineva \u00een spate cu impresia c\u0103 o s\u0103 dispar magic \u00een calea lui spre cas\u0103, nu mai vreau conversa\u021bii peste um\u0103rul meu \u00eentre cineva din fa\u021ba mea \u0219i cineva \u00een spate (\u0219i de ce nu oferi \u00eent\u00e2ietate? pentru c\u0103 dup\u0103 aceea, tot restul cozii se va b\u0103ga \u00een fa\u021b\u0103. lol) \u0219i nu mai am r\u0103bdare de casele care se blocheaz\u0103, magic, cu c\u00e2te doi clien\u021bi \u00eenaintea mea<\/p>\n Automatele de cafea\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n Cafeaua e darul lui Dumnezeu pentru omenire. Dar omenirea e ingrat\u0103 \u0219i, de c\u00e2te ori prime\u0219te \u00een dar, \u00ee\u0219i bag\u0103 plua \u00een el, la figurat \u0219i adeseori la propriu.<\/p>\n A\u0219a a ap\u0103rut automatul de cafea.<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u00ce\u0163i plac textele Trollywood? Po\u0163i sus\u0163ine \u015fi tu proiectul.<\/p>\n *** Via\u021ba e extrem de scurt\u0103, mai ales dac\u0103 o tr\u0103ie\u0219ti pe fug\u0103. Azi e joi, ai clipit \u0219i deja e miercurea viitoare. Ieri era...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":18366,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-18360","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/cat.jpg?fit=640%2C400&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18360","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=18360"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18360\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":18367,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18360\/revisions\/18367"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/18366"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=18360"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=18360"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=18360"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nAici, omul care te-a sunat cu treburi r\u0103sufl\u0103 u\u0219urat c\u0103 nu trebuie s\u0103 m\u0103 mai fingereasc\u0103 metafizic \u0219i zice ce vrea.
\nDar mai e \u0219i categoria aceea nespus de iritant\u0103 care se \u00eenfoaie:<\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea-300x300.jpg?resize=300%2C300\")
<\/a><\/p>\n
\nVrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe Twitter<\/a><\/strong> \u015fi Instagram<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"