{"id":18420,"date":"2019-09-20T12:34:10","date_gmt":"2019-09-20T09:34:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=18420"},"modified":"2019-09-20T12:50:38","modified_gmt":"2019-09-20T09:50:38","slug":"cand-iti-da-tarcoale-o-raceala","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/cand-iti-da-tarcoale-o-raceala\/","title":{"rendered":"C\u00e2nd \u00ee\u021bi d\u0103 t\u00e2rcoale o r\u0103ceal\u0103"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>E dificil s\u0103 dormi zilele astea cu fereastra deschis\u0103, pentru c\u0103, de\u0219i ziua e pl\u0103cut\u0103 \u0219i cald\u0103, noaptea deja e un frig de-\u021bi \u00eenghea\u021b\u0103 hemoroizii, semn c\u0103 vara indian\u0103 e \u00een mod cert pe sf\u00e2r\u0219ite. Dar odat\u0103 cu alternan\u021ba asta \u00eentre c\u0103ldura mare de dup\u0103-amiaz\u0103 \u0219i frigul mu\u0219c\u0103tor de la unu noaptea, ipohondrii ca noi simt cum, lent, \u00eencepe s\u0103 le dea t\u00e2rcoale o mic\u0103 r\u0103ceal\u0103. Cu simptomele specifice. Ba \u00eencepe s\u0103-\u021bi curg\u0103 nasul, Ba ai durerea aia de cap, specific\u0103 unui \u00eenceput de r\u0103ceal\u0103, care nu seam\u0103n\u0103 cu nimic altceva. Ba sim\u021bi nori\u0219ori de vat\u0103 \u00een g\u00e2t. \u00cen ochi. \u00cen urechi.<\/p>\n<p>Dar noi ducem vie\u021bi pline v\u00e2rf de treburi de f\u0103cut, nu ne permitem luxul unei s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2ni la pat, a\u0219a c\u0103 sora voastr\u0103 Lorena se deschide la corason \u0219i v\u0103 poveste\u0219te cum \u021binem r\u0103ceala aia care ne tot d\u0103 roat\u0103 departe de noi, f\u0103r\u0103 ordin de restric\u021bie.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Apa c\u0103ldu\u021b\u0103 cu l\u0103m\u00e2ie e the sh!t.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Aici o s\u0103 sar\u0103 vreo doi: Plm, Loreno, credeam c\u0103 \u0103sta e site de texte frumoase \u0219i nobile, nu outlet la siteul suntfotomodel.com. La textele frumoase \u0219i nobile face\u021bi un trafic de toat\u0103 jena, abia dac\u0103 face omul reclam\u0103 unui studio de videochat v\u0103 g\u0103si\u021bi s\u0103 veni\u021bi turm\u0103 s\u0103 urla\u021bi c\u0103 se degradeaz\u0103 cultura, so, shut the fuck up.<\/p>\n<p>\u021aine l\u0103m\u00e2ie \u00een cas\u0103. Pune-o \u00een ceaiuri, pune-o \u00een sucuri, pune-o \u00een m\u00e2ncare &#8211; p\u00e2n\u0103 \u0219i sarmalele m\u0103-tii cap\u0103t\u0103 un strat suplimentar de deliciu dac\u0103, \u00een loc de clasica sm\u00e2nt\u00e2n\u0103, \u00eencerci o arogan\u021b\u0103 \u0219i le adaugi cercule\u021be de l\u0103m\u00e2ie.<\/p>\n<p>\u0218i dac\u0103 r\u0103ceala asta nesim\u021bit\u0103 de care ziceam se face stalker \u0219i vrea s\u0103-\u021bi fac\u0103 poze \u00een metrou, bag\u0103 trucul favorit al divelor Victoria&#8217;s Secret: diminea\u0163a, pe stomacul gol, bea ap\u0103 plat\u0103 \u00eenc\u0103lzit\u0103 pu\u0163in, un pic mai rece dec\u00e2t apa cald\u0103 de la robinet, \u015fi stoarce \u00eentr-o astfel de can\u0103 jum\u0103tate de l\u0103m\u00e2ie.<\/p>\n<p>Nu are doar efectul dorit de fotomodele, \u015fi anume, c\u0103 \u00eentr-un sfert de or\u0103 le scoate la o c\u0103care \u00eempr\u0103\u015ftiat\u0103, \u00een urma c\u0103reia orice tentativ\u0103 de balonare pe ziua \u00een curs dispare f\u0103r\u0103 urme, dar are \u015fi efectul visat de tine: toate simptomele de r\u0103ceal\u0103 dau check out la recep\u0163ie, se urc\u0103 \u00een Uber \u015fi pleac\u0103.<\/p>\n<p>Toate.<\/p>\n<p>\u015ei da, preg\u0103te\u015fte-te c\u0103 \u00eentr-un sfert de or\u0103 o s\u0103 ai o sesiune lung\u0103 de lecturat blogul Lorenei Lupu pe bud\u0103.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Run, Forrest, run\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>\u00cenc\u0103 de c\u00e2nd eram eu copil, tendin\u0163a m\u0103micilor \u015fi bunicilor, c\u00e2nd \u00eencepeai s\u0103 produci muci \u015fi flegme, era s\u0103 te \u00eenfofoleasc\u0103 \u015fi s\u0103 te bage \u00een pat.<\/p>\n<p>Abia \u00een facultatea de teatru, unde repeti\u0163iile se cereau \u0163inute \u015fi examenul venea \u00een trei s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2ni, nu avea nimeni timp de \u00eenfofoleli, am descoperit c\u0103, dimpotriv\u0103, un mod de a combate simptomele de r\u0103ceal\u0103 e exerci\u0163iul fizic.<\/p>\n<p>Fie deschizi Spotify, cau\u0163i MC Hammer \u015fi pui piesa asta, cu care m-am trezit eu de diminea\u0163\u0103 \u00een cap.<\/p>\n<div class=\"video-container\"><span class=\"embed-youtube\" style=\"text-align:center; display: block;\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" class=\"youtube-player\" width=\"700\" height=\"394\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/mJT5_Y_H4_E?version=3&#038;rel=1&#038;showsearch=0&#038;showinfo=1&#038;iv_load_policy=1&#038;fs=1&#038;hl=en-US&#038;autohide=2&#038;wmode=transparent\" allowfullscreen=\"true\" style=\"border:0;\" sandbox=\"allow-scripts allow-same-origin allow-popups allow-presentation allow-popups-to-escape-sandbox\"><\/iframe><\/span><\/div>\n<p>Fie o deschizi pe laptop, pe repeat, \u015fi bagi o sesiune lung\u0103 de rug\u0103ciune &#8211; glumesc, de fapt bagi o sesiune lung\u0103 de exerci\u0163ii fizice &#8211; fie o deschizi pe mobil, \u00ee\u0163i iei sneaker\u015fii \u00een picioare \u015fi o rupi la fug\u0103 prin parc, o rund\u0103 de 20 de minute de intensitate medie o s\u0103-\u0163i fac\u0103 r\u0103ceala s\u0103 se intimideze \u015fi s\u0103 te lase \u00een pace.<\/p>\n<p>\u015ei dac\u0103 tot faci asta, nu uita s\u0103 iei la tine \u015fi o sticl\u0103 cu ap\u0103. Poate chiar cu l\u0103m\u00e2ie, lol.<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00cencearc\u0103 un du\u015f rece.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Da, \u015ftiu. &#8220;Hai, b\u0103i, Loreno, nu mai bine ne recomanzi s\u0103 ne f*tem mamele?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Nu. De\u015fi ajungem \u015fi la sex c\u00e2t de cur\u00e2nd. Nu voi cu mine, dar \u00een articol.<\/p>\n<p>Ideea de du\u015f rece sun\u0103 a moartea definitiv\u0103 a pasiunii. \u00cen\u0163eleg \u015fi sunt de acord. Dar c\u00e2nd d\u0103 o r\u0103ceal\u0103 t\u00e2rcoale, faptul c\u0103 \u00ee\u0163i expui brusc corpul jetului de ap\u0103 rece o sperie \u015fi pe ea, nu doar pe voi.<\/p>\n<p>\u00cen plus, pute\u0163i \u00eentreba medici de toate tipurile \u015fi v\u0103 vor ridica \u00een sl\u0103vi du\u015furile reci: c\u0103 \u00eenvioreaz\u0103, reduc surmenajul, restarteaz\u0103 sistemul imunitar, te transform\u0103 \u00een Brad Pitt t\u00e2n\u0103r \u015fi a\u015fa mai departe.<\/p>\n<p>Dar cel pu\u0163in pentru subiectul nostru de azi, du\u015ful rece e lovitura de care ai nevoie.<\/p>\n<p><strong>F\u0103 sex\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>&#8220;\u015ei s\u0103-l contaminez \u015fi pe \u0103la\/aia cu microbii mei?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Posibil e contaminat, dac\u0103 petrece\u0163i timp \u00eempreun\u0103. Nu e ca \u015fi cum n-ar fi fost expus(\u0103) deja.<\/p>\n<p>\u00cen timp ce tuturor neocre\u015ftinilor \u015fi neocretinilor le place s\u0103 predice c\u0103 sexul e destinat cre\u0103rii de mo\u015ftenitori \u015fi blabla, realitatea e c\u0103 sexul bine f\u0103cut, p\u00e2n\u0103 la orgasm, produce toate acele endorfine, dopamine, serotonine, care \u00eei dau organismului t\u0103u impuls s\u0103 lupte prin arme proprii cu viru\u015fi \u015fi bacterii neprietenoase.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Da, Lorena, dar cu cine bruhuhuhuhu.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Dac\u0103 n-ai cu cine, apeleaz\u0103 la singurul act de iubire adev\u0103rat\u0103 din via\u0163a ta: iube\u015fte-te de unul singur \/ una singur\u0103. La un moment dat, c\u00e2nd o s\u0103 vreau s\u0103 mai enervez internetul o dat\u0103, o s\u0103 scriu \u015fi un articol despre tipuri de vibratoare \u015fi care sunt mai potrivite pentru diverse tipuri de pl\u0103ceri.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ap\u0103 cu sare<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>C\u00e2nd erai copil \u015fi f\u0103ceai ro\u015fu \u00een g\u00e2t, bunic\u0103-ta te punea s\u0103 faci gargar\u0103 cu ap\u0103 cu sare. Acum, c\u0103 am crescut \u015fi r\u0103celile se anun\u0163\u0103 mai degrab\u0103 pe c\u0103ile nazale &#8211; poate pentru c\u0103 nu mai respir pe gur\u0103, lol &#8211; po\u0163i s\u0103-\u0163i s\u0103-\u0163i pulverizezi o solu\u0163ie cu ap\u0103 \u015fi sare \u00een nas, s\u0103 mai reduci din excre\u0163iile acelea dezgust\u0103toare care te fac s\u0103-\u0163i fie sil\u0103 cu tine.<\/p>\n<p>Exist\u0103 \u00een farmacii o spray-uri nazale bazate \u00een principal pe ap\u0103 cu sare. Partea cea mai bun\u0103 este c\u0103 nu creeaz\u0103 dependen\u0163\u0103, cum o fac Bixtonim \u015fi Olynth, de exemplu.<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u015ei la final, o pereche de \u015fosete groase, moi<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Resimt frigul diferit \u00een diverse zone ale corpului meu. Dac\u0103 mi-e frig la picioare, pot avea zece \u015fube pe mine \u015fi d\u00e2rd\u00e2i. Dac\u0103 mi-e bine la picioare, pot lop\u0103ta z\u0103pada \u00een costum de baie.<\/p>\n<p>O pereche de \u015fosete groase \u015fi moi nu pare a fi mare lucru. 10 &#8211; 15 lei la magazin. Dar starea de cald \u015fi bine, de confort \u015fi relaxare \u00ee\u0163i alin\u0103 instant 50% din simptomele acelei r\u0103celi nesuferite care te pistona de zor.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>***<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u00ce\u0163i plac textele Trollywood? Po\u0163i sus\u0163ine \u015fi tu proiectul.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/paypal.me\/Trollywood\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-medium wp-image-14577\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea-300x300.jpg?resize=300%2C300\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=300%2C300&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=150%2C150&amp;ssl=1 150w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=768%2C768&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=160%2C160&amp;ssl=1 160w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=320%2C320&amp;ssl=1 320w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=184%2C184&amp;ssl=1 184w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=600%2C600&amp;ssl=1 600w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=100%2C100&amp;ssl=1 100w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?w=931&amp;ssl=1 931w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>***<br \/>\nVrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe <a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/lorenaalmighty\/\"><strong>Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe <strong><a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/lorenalupu\">Twitter<\/a><\/strong> \u015fi <strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/lorena.lup\/\">Instagram<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>E dificil s\u0103 dormi zilele astea cu fereastra deschis\u0103, pentru c\u0103, de\u0219i ziua e pl\u0103cut\u0103 \u0219i cald\u0103, noaptea deja e un frig de-\u021bi \u00eenghea\u021b\u0103&#46;&#46;&#46;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":18421,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-18420","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/catwet.jpg?fit=640%2C480&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18420","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=18420"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18420\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":18425,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18420\/revisions\/18425"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/18421"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=18420"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=18420"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=18420"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}