{"id":1848,"date":"2009-11-18T14:01:44","date_gmt":"2009-11-18T11:01:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lorenalupu.wordpress.com\/?p=1848"},"modified":"2009-11-18T14:01:44","modified_gmt":"2009-11-18T11:01:44","slug":"ziua-in-care-am-ramas-singur","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/ziua-in-care-am-ramas-singur\/","title":{"rendered":"Ziua \u00een care am r\u0103mas singur"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>De diminea\u0163\u0103, am descoperit c\u0103 nu circulau elicopterele. Regia Autonom\u0103 a Elicopterelor intrase \u00een grev\u0103, pentru c\u0103 foamea-i mare, seam\u0103n pe lume nu are. Nici rachetobuzele nu veneau. M-am oprit la Cafe Bolid, la col\u0163, s\u0103 \u00eemi injectez ni\u015fte cofein\u0103 \u00een ven\u0103. &#8220;Am sistat importul de cofein\u0103, datorit\u0103 preten\u0163iilor financiare exagerate ale furnizorului. Poate vre\u0163i theobromin\u0103&#8221;, m-a informat amabil\u0103 o t\u00e2n\u0103r\u0103 cu un ochi verde \u015fi unul c\u0103prui. &#8220;Poate vre\u0163i un pumn \u00een nas,&#8221; am zis eu \u00een g\u00e2nd, dar m-am ab\u0163inut.<\/p>\n<p>Ea mi-a interpretat gre\u015fit privirea \u015fi a continuat: &#8220;Nu sunt nepoata lui David Bowie. Pur \u015fi simplu, salonul de cosmetic\u0103 ocular\u0103 a intrat \u00een grev\u0103 la 18.00 fix. Apucaser\u0103 s\u0103 \u00eemi ajusteze culoarea unui singur iris.&#8221; M-am ridicat \u015fi am p\u0103r\u0103sit localul, fredon\u00e2nd \u00een g\u00e2nd:<\/p>\n<div class=\"video-container\"><span class=\"embed-youtube\" style=\"text-align:center; display: block;\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" class=\"youtube-player\" width=\"700\" height=\"394\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/D67kmFzSh_o?version=3&#038;rel=1&#038;showsearch=0&#038;showinfo=1&#038;iv_load_policy=1&#038;fs=1&#038;hl=en-US&#038;autohide=2&#038;wmode=transparent\" allowfullscreen=\"true\" style=\"border:0;\" sandbox=\"allow-scripts allow-same-origin allow-popups allow-presentation allow-popups-to-escape-sandbox\"><\/iframe><\/span><\/div>\n<p>Acas\u0103, m\u0103 a\u015ftepta stru\u0163ul DVD, indiferent \u015fi arogant ca de obicei. Sau cel pu\u0163in m\u0103 a\u015fteptam s\u0103 m\u0103 a\u015ftepte. \u00cen schimb, am g\u0103sit doar ni\u015fte zg\u00e2rieturi suspecte pe pre\u015f: &#8220;Mi-ai promis bonus de fidelitate, dobitocule!&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;Asta e, mi-am spus eu, nu po\u0163i \u0163ine stru\u0163ii l\u00e2ng\u0103 tine, dac\u0103 ei \u0163in neap\u0103rat s\u0103 plece. Adio, DVD, vreau s\u0103 \u015ftii c\u0103 te-am iubit.&#8221; \u015ei am dat s\u0103 deschid u\u015fa blindat\u0103 \u015fi dotat\u0103 cu multialarm\u0103 polifunc\u0163ional\u0103, \u015fi cu senzor de recunoa\u015ftere al ADN-ului. Alarma polifunc\u0163ional\u0103 a \u00eenceput s\u0103 \u0163iuie. Din difuzoare s-a auzit o voce metalic\u0103 &#8220;Access denied. Pentru a evita incidente nepl\u0103cute, v\u0103 rug\u0103m p\u0103r\u0103si\u0163i imobilul!&#8221;<br \/>\nP\u0103i asta este casa mea, imbecililoooor, am r\u0103cnit c\u00e2t m\u0103 \u0163inea gura.<br \/>\n&#8220;Ne pare r\u0103u, nu v\u0103 recunoa\u015ftem. Suntem \u00een grev\u0103&#8221;.<br \/>\n&#8220;Bine, dar eu pl\u0103tesc pentru serviciile voastre, ce \u00eenseamn\u0103 asta? De ce v\u0103 r\u0103zbuna\u0163i pe mine?&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;Ne pare r\u0103u, nu v\u0103 recunoa\u015ftem. Suntem \u00een grev\u0103. Pentru a evita incidente nepl\u0103cute, v\u0103 rug\u0103m p\u0103r\u0103si\u0163i imobilul!&#8221;<br \/>\nAm r\u0103mas mut.<br \/>\n&#8220;V\u0103 anun\u0163\u0103m c\u0103 \u00een zece minute \u00eencepe evacuarea for\u0163at\u0103. Subiec\u0163ii care refuz\u0103 s\u0103 p\u0103r\u0103seasc\u0103 imobilul la indica\u0163iile noastre, sunt lua\u0163i pe sus de o macara \u015fi azv\u00e2rli\u0163i de la fereastra holului.&#8221;<br \/>\nMda&#8230; eram la etajul 7. Nu prea p\u0103rea o idee bun\u0103.<br \/>\n&#8220;C\u00e2t dureaz\u0103 greva?&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;\u00cenc\u0103 zece ore, treizeci \u015fi cinci de minute \u015fi zece secunde. V\u0103 anun\u0163\u0103m c\u0103 \u00een opt minute \u00eencepe evacuarea for\u0163at\u0103. \u00cenc\u0103 zece ore, treizeci \u015fi cinci de minute \u015fi zero secunde. V\u0103 anun\u0163\u0103m c\u0103 \u00een \u015fapte minute \u015fi cincizeci de secunde \u00eencepe evacuarea for\u0163at\u0103. \u00cenc\u0103&#8230; &#8220;<!--more--><\/p>\n<p>Am rupt-o la fug\u0103. Dup\u0103 ce se termin\u0103 greva, am de g\u00e2nd s\u0103 m\u0103 \u00eentorc \u00een cas\u0103, s\u0103 m\u0103 \u00eencui \u015fi s\u0103 nu mai ies niciodat\u0103. Dac\u0103 tot murim singuri, m\u0103car s\u0103 murim \u00een patul nostru. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>De diminea\u0163\u0103, am descoperit c\u0103 nu circulau elicopterele. Regia Autonom\u0103 a Elicopterelor intrase \u00een grev\u0103, pentru c\u0103 foamea-i mare, seam\u0103n pe lume nu are.&#46;&#46;&#46;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1848","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1848","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1848"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1848\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1848"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1848"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1848"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}