{"id":18550,"date":"2019-10-22T11:47:22","date_gmt":"2019-10-22T08:47:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=18550"},"modified":"2019-10-22T11:48:25","modified_gmt":"2019-10-22T08:48:25","slug":"disperarea-nu-e-sexy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/disperarea-nu-e-sexy\/","title":{"rendered":"Disperarea nu e sexy"},"content":{"rendered":"

Dup\u0103 fiecare po\u0219t\u0103 a redac\u021biei plou\u0103 cu reac\u021bii de la cititori. Unele mai stupizele, altele mai edgy, altele chiar revelatorii.<\/p>\n

Azi, povestim despre aceast\u0103 remarc\u0103:<\/p>\n

“Totu\u015fi, e curios cum din at\u00e2\u0163ia b\u0103rba\u0163i doritori de c\u0103s\u0103torie (jur, \u00een ultimii ani a plouat cu ei, dar majoritatea needy) femeile tot \u00eel aleg pe \u0103la mai inaccesibil, pe \u0103la care nu vrea, pe \u0103la pe care trebuie s\u0103-l conving\u0103.
\nLa fel \u015fi invers: o gr\u0103mad\u0103 de b\u0103rba\u0163i care alearg\u0103 dup\u0103 femei care nu sunt interesate de c\u0103s\u0103torie, dar nu s-ar uita neam la aia tradi\u0163ionalist\u0103, care vrea familie \u015fi copii.”<\/p>\n

Tru dat.<\/p>\n

Dar exist\u0103 \u015fi motive.<\/p>\n

O prostie care s-a repetat redundant \u015fi iritant ieri a fost urm\u0103toarea: c\u0103 trebuie de la primele \u00eent\u00e2lniri s\u0103 pui piciorul \u00een prag \u015fi s\u0103 spui foarte ferm ce vrei (rela\u0163ie stabil\u0103, c\u0103s\u0103torie, sex iepuresc f\u0103r\u0103 implicare emo\u0163ional\u0103, etc.).<\/p>\n

De ce e o prostie?<\/p>\n

E o prostie pentru c\u0103 nu po\u0163i avea a\u0219tept\u0103ri \u00een format de re\u021bet\u0103 medical\u0103 de la oameni pe care nu-i cuno\u0219ti. Po\u021bi spune c\u0103 vrei c\u0103s\u0103torie \u0219i copii, dar exist\u0103 o \u0219ans\u0103 solid\u0103 s\u0103 nu fii c\u00e2tu\u0219i de pu\u021bin compatibil(\u0103) uman cu persoana c\u0103reia \u00eei spui asta \u0219i s\u0103 rezulte un poten\u021bial dezastru.<\/p>\n

\u00cen plus, pe m\u0103sur\u0103 ce apuci s\u0103 \u00eel cuno\u0219ti mai bine pe cel\u0103lalt, \u00eencepi s\u0103 vrei de la el sau ea specific lucruri care poate c\u0103 nu intrau \u00een re\u021beta din mintea ta.<\/p>\n

\u0218i dau dou\u0103 exemple.<\/p>\n

A, o tip\u0103 de aproximativ 20 de ani, \u00eel cunoa\u0219te pe B, de 40 \u0219i ceva. A e copil de bani gata, dar mic\u0103 \u0219i foarte nesigur\u0103 pe ea, B o d\u0103 pe spate de la prima \u00eent\u00e2lnire cu vr\u0103jeal\u0103 de nota zece \u0219i seduc\u021bie experimentat\u0103. A \u00eei spune lui B c\u0103 vrea rela\u021bie foarte stabil\u0103 \u0219i B accept\u0103.<\/p>\n

Abia dup\u0103 ce se mut\u0103 \u00eempreun\u0103, A constat\u0103 c\u0103 B nu prea cotizeaz\u0103 la chirie \u0219i \u00eentre\u021binere, ci mizeaz\u0103 pe generozitatea p\u0103rin\u021bilor ei, care sunt \u0219i ei vag nedumeri\u021bi c\u0103 un tip matur nu doar c\u0103 nu e provider, dar e o veritabil\u0103 sugativ\u0103 financiar\u0103. \u00cen cel mai scurt timp, A \u00eens\u0103\u0219i realizeaz\u0103 c\u0103 nu, nu vrea o rela\u021bie stabil\u0103 \u0219i exclusiv\u0103 cu B, ci vrea s\u0103 stea singur\u0103 \u0219i s\u0103 se mai f***\u0103 cu el periodic.<\/p>\n

Adic\u0103 exact ce ar fi refuzat extrem de indignat\u0103 dac\u0103 i se propunea din prima.<\/p>\n

Situa\u021bia a doua:<\/p>\n

C e un tip cu succes la femei. Le schimb\u0103 ca pe \u0219osete. O cunoa\u0219te pe D, o tip\u0103 carierist\u0103 \u0219i relaxat\u0103, \u0219i-i propune s\u0103 fie f*** buddies. D accept\u0103 cu entuziasm pentru c\u0103 tocmai ie\u0219ise dintr-o rela\u021bie extrem de abuziv\u0103 emo\u021bional \u0219i stresant\u0103 la culme, \u0219i \u00eei sur\u00e2dea ceva zen \u0219i f\u0103r\u0103 drame.<\/p>\n

Dar D e o femeie frumoas\u0103, inteligent\u0103, cu care te distrezi de te pi\u0219i pe tine. \u0218i o companie at\u00e2t de natural pl\u0103cut\u0103, \u00eenc\u00e2t C se treze\u0219te c\u0103 o vrea din ce \u00een ce mai mult prin preajm\u0103. Dup\u0103 trei luni de dating, o cere de so\u021bie.<\/p>\n

Adic\u0103 exact ce ar fi refuzat cu \u00eenc\u0103p\u0103\u021b\u00e2nare dac\u0103 i se solicita din prima.<\/p>\n

\u0218i multe din a\u0219tept\u0103rile noastre legate de oameni se adapteaz\u0103 natural la ce au ei personal de oferit, dac\u0103 nu suntem ni\u0219te idio\u021bi din categoria “b\u0103rbatul s\u0103 dea cu pumnul \u00een mas\u0103 \u015fi femeia la crati\u0163\u0103”.<\/p>\n

Mbun, \u015fi acum c\u0103 am elucidat-o pe asta, s\u0103 trecem la comentariul \u0103sta, care remarc\u0103 extrem de corect: nici b\u0103rba\u0163ii, nici femeile care vor cu disperare c\u0103s\u0103torie \u015fi copii nu au c\u0103utare pe pia\u0163\u0103.<\/p>\n

Are sens s\u0103 vrei c\u0103s\u0103torie atunci c\u00e2nd cuno\u015fti un om f\u0103r\u0103 de care s\u0103 nu-\u0163i imaginezi via\u0163a. Un om care s\u0103 te atrag\u0103, cu care s\u0103 te sim\u0163i bine, cu care s\u0103 te sim\u0163i safe \u015fi cu care s\u0103 te imaginezi \u00eemp\u0103r\u0163ind lingurile \u015fi pernele toat\u0103 via\u0163a.<\/p>\n

Dar ca s\u0103 ajungi acolo, trebuie s\u0103-l cuno\u015fti al naibii de bine pe om. \u015ei atunci dorin\u0163ele tale conjugale make sense, pentru c\u0103 sunt o prelungire a unei st\u0103ri de intimitate formate natural.<\/p>\n

\u00cen schimb, at\u00e2t b\u0103rba\u0163ii, c\u00e2t \u015fi femeile care vor c\u0103s\u0103torie, f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 conteze cu cine, strict pentru a alunga singur\u0103tatea, a avea sex sau resurse la dispozi\u0163ie sau a avea o form\u0103 de validare social\u0103 din statutul de c\u0103s\u0103torit, \u00ee\u015fi trateaz\u0103 partenerii de dating mai degrab\u0103 ca pe ni\u015fte furnizori de servicii dec\u00e2t ca pe love interests.<\/p>\n

“G\u0103te\u015fti?”<\/p>\n

De ce, b\u0103i, Gicule, \u015ftii un job de buc\u0103t\u0103reas\u0103 la un restaurant din zon\u0103?<\/p>\n

\u00centreab\u0103-m\u0103 dac\u0103 g\u0103tesc \u015fi mi-ai ucis definitiv orice fior l\u0103untric.<\/p>\n

\u0218i \u00eei cred \u0219i pe b\u0103rba\u021bii care spun c\u0103 moare v\u00e2na \u00een ei c\u00e2nd sunt lua\u021bi la interogatoriu: unde munce\u0219ti, c\u00e2t c\u00e2\u0219tigi, dai salariul acas\u0103.<\/p>\n

Nu e nimic seduc\u0103tor \u00een a fi tratat ca un tichet de mas\u0103.<\/p>\n

Tot b\u0103rba\u021bii, c\u00e2t \u0219i femeile care vor cu disperare c\u0103s\u0103torie au un mod ucig\u0103tor de a c\u0103uta s\u0103 nege tot ce te define\u0219te pe tine, poten\u021bial partener, ca individualitate, \u0219i s\u0103 te modeleze agresiv s\u0103 iei forma partenerului perfect din visele lor.<\/p>\n

Pentru c\u0103 ei nu se \u00eendr\u0103gostesc de tine, omul. Ei se \u00eendr\u0103gostesc de himera c\u0103s\u0103toriei din mintea lor, ca un scenariu atent conceput, \u0219i orice latur\u0103 a ta care nu se \u00eencadreaz\u0103 \u00een acest scenariu trebuie extirpat\u0103 prompt.<\/p>\n

Iar legat de nevoile tale reale?<\/p>\n

Nimeni nu se pricepe ca ace\u0219ti oameni s\u0103-\u021bi explice de ce ai tu nevoie cu adev\u0103rat \u0219i nu \u0219tii. \u00cen traducere liber\u0103, nu, nu vei primi din aceste rela\u021bii ceea ce ai nevoie, ci strict interac\u021biunea generic\u0103 so\u021b – so\u021bie din filmul mariajului din capul lor.<\/p>\n

Ace\u0219ti oameni se vor oplo\u0219i pe via\u021ba \u0219i activit\u0103\u021bile tale ca \u021b\u00e2n\u021barii din Delt\u0103 pe un turist care \u0219i-a uitat repelentul acas\u0103.<\/p>\n

Cum Dumnezeu s\u0103 nu fugi m\u00e2nc\u00e2nd p\u0103m\u00e2ntul?<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

\u00ce\u0163i plac textele Trollywood? Po\u0163i sus\u0163ine \u015fi tu proiectul.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

***
\nVrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe Twitter<\/a><\/strong> \u015fi Instagram<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Dup\u0103 fiecare po\u0219t\u0103 a redac\u021biei plou\u0103 cu reac\u021bii de la cititori. Unele mai stupizele, altele mai edgy, altele chiar revelatorii. Azi, povestim despre aceast\u0103...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":16454,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-18550","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/4725_malena-640.jpg?fit=704%2C396&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18550","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=18550"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18550\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":18553,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18550\/revisions\/18553"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/16454"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=18550"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=18550"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=18550"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}