\u00cen LorenaLand, Halloween e Cr\u0103ciunul \u0219i Hanukkah \u00eempreun\u0103, iar ce sim\u021bi tu legat de asta NU ne intereseaz\u0103.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n Restul lumii: Am o alergie grav\u0103, cu bube \u0219i muci, la genul de prost b\u0103tubil \u00een cap cu un bocanc de munte care vine s\u0103-\u021bi predice ce s\u0103rb\u0103tori ar trebui s\u0103-\u021bi plac\u0103 \u021bie. Cred cu t\u0103rie c\u0103 tu ca om liber ai tot dreptul, dac\u0103 \u021bii neap\u0103rat, s\u0103 alegi o zi random, s\u0103 zicem 11 aprilie, \u0219i s-o declari Ziua \u00cen Care Mi Se Scoal\u0103 Mie Pula. S\u0103-i faci cod vestimentar, tradi\u021bii alimentare, o poveste frumoas\u0103, tot ce vrei tu. \u0218i nimeni nu are dreptul s\u0103 \u00ee\u021bi spun\u0103 ce s\u0103 s\u0103rb\u0103tore\u0219ti \u0219i ce nu, pentru c\u0103 s\u0103rb\u0103tore\u0219ti pe banii t\u0103i, nu pe ai lor.<\/p>\n \u0218i tot tu, ca om liber, ai dreptul s\u0103 preiei orice s\u0103rb\u0103toare \u00ee\u021bi place, din cultura \u0219i tradi\u021bia oricui, dac\u0103 acea s\u0103rb\u0103toare vorbe\u0219te sufletului t\u0103u, \u0219i nici o otreap\u0103 proast\u0103 \u0219i futubil\u0103 \u00een cur cu o m\u0103dur\u0103 noduroas\u0103 \u0219i plin\u0103 de a\u0219chii nu are dreptul s\u0103 c\u00e2r\u00e2ie legat de asta.<\/p>\n De ce rantuiesc? Rantuiesc pentru c\u0103 mi-am pus \u0219i eu ca omul o poz\u0103 de Halloween \u0219i instant au s\u0103rit ni\u0219te luz\u0103ra\u0219i cu gura direct \u00een pula mea, s\u0103-mi fac\u0103 teoria s\u0103rb\u0103torii \u00eemprumutate blabla. Ia, hai, mar\u0219 \u00eentins sub mas\u0103, c\u0103 acolo ave\u021bi cu ce s\u0103 v\u0103 ocupa\u021bi gura, s\u0103 nu cl\u0103mp\u0103ni\u021bi din ea degeaba c\u0103 se face curent inutil.<\/p>\n Now that we got that out of the way, hai s\u0103 vorbim despre cli\u0219ee de Halloween.<\/p>\n Halloween are tradi\u021bia costumelor glam & gore. Ca atare, de Halloween ai libertate absolut\u0103 s\u0103 creezi \u0219i s\u0103 inventezi c\u00e2t te \u021bin mintea, sufletul \u0219i portofelul. \u0218i taman de aceea, mi se pare extrem de trist s\u0103 vezi cum unii oameni fac an de an acela\u0219i lucru.<\/p>\n A) Districtul cu vitrine din Amsterdam.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n Halloween e scuza multora s\u0103 scoat\u0103 sex workeri\u021ba lor interioar\u0103 la defilare.<\/p>\n \u0218i nu m\u0103 \u00een\u021belege\u021bi gre\u0219it. Respect sex workers din tot sufletul meu. Munca lor mi se pare o tortur\u0103 \u0219i un martiriu. Dar s\u0103 te folose\u0219ti de Halloween s\u0103 por\u021bi ciorapii cu plas\u0103, cizmele lungi l\u0103cuite \u0219i bluza mulat\u0103 leopard print cu decolteu pe care, dac\u0103 ar fi dup\u0103 sufletul t\u0103u, le-ai purta zi de zi, dar \u021bi-e ru\u0219ine de neamuri e o solu\u021bie facil\u0103, lipsit\u0103 de creativitate \u0219i, sincer, foarte plictisitoare.<\/p>\n Pentru c\u0103 o gr\u0103mad\u0103 de tipe o fac \u0219i, c\u00e2nd te ui\u021bi \u00een jur, zici c\u0103 e Seara Stripperi\u021belor Moca.<\/p>\n B) Costume sexy de meserii care nu sunt sexy\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n \u0218i acum a sosit momentul s\u0103 v\u0103 m\u0103rturisesc o iritare personal\u0103 a mea. Legat\u0103 de\u00a0 toate aceste costume: doctori\u021ba sexy, asistenta sexy, profesoara sexy, \u0219i a\u0219a mai departe sexy.<\/p>\n Sunt meserii care presupun ani de studiu \u0219i implicare, nemaivorbind de mii de euro \u00een c\u0103r\u021bi, conferin\u021be, specializ\u0103ri \u0219i practic\u0103 interminabil\u0103.<\/p>\n E at\u00e2t de lipsit de respect fa\u021b\u0103 de munca acestor oameni s\u0103 le feti\u0219izezi meseria cu ni\u0219te rahaturi de plastic importate de pe AliExpress.<\/p>\n Nu e nimic sexy \u00een g\u0103rzile de 12 ore, \u00een pacien\u021bii c\u0103rora le schimbi punga de urin\u0103 sau pe care \u00eei speli de c\u0103cat. \u0218i dac\u0103 to\u021bi prost\u0103l\u0103ii care poart\u0103 costume sexy de joburi care nu sunt sexy ar fi obliga\u021bi o s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2n\u0103 s\u0103 fac\u0103 jobul nesexy pe care l-au luat \u00een der\u00e2dere, poate am avea o trezire la realitate.<\/p>\n C) Urechiu\u0219e de pisic\u0103 \u0219i machiaj bot de pisic\u0103.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n Cel mai banal \u0219i obosit cli\u0219eu. Ceasul r\u0103u, pisica neagr\u0103. Halloween, vr\u0103ji, pisici. Miau. Pulic\u0103 tocmai se \u00eentoarce acum cu popoul la mine, can’t be bothered.<\/p>\n Nevoia asta de a mistifica \u015fi a demoniza bietele pisici mi se pare absolut stupid\u0103 \u015fi, ce e mai oribil, \u00een multe locuri, bietele animale sunt prinse, chinuite \u015fi omor\u00e2te pentru conexiunea lor imaginar\u0103 cu Satana. Bine, sigur, hipsterii care merg la petreceri de Halloween \u00een Centrul Vechi garantat nu chinuie pisici acas\u0103, mai degrab\u0103 \u00eei chinuie pisicile pe ei, dar \u015fi a\u015fa:<\/p>\n Fii. Mai. Creativ.<\/p>\n Nu fi a 153780-a pisic\u0103 din club.<\/p>\n G\u0103se\u015fte alt animal.<\/p>\n Dac\u0103 eu nu a\u015f fi din nou la pat cu o viroz\u0103 feroce \u015fi repaus vocal obligatoriu, cred c\u0103 m-a\u015f costuma \u00een g\u00e2ndac de buc\u0103t\u0103rie.<\/p>\n Iat\u0103 o teroare mereu actual\u0103 \u00een Bucure\u015ftiul zilelor noastre, \u015fi care sigur nu va sem\u0103na cu \u0163inuta altora.<\/p>\n D) Costume generic gory luate online de pe siteuri de party.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n “Contesa gotic\u0103” – 300 lei. “Marchizul \u00eens\u00e2ngerat” – 420 de lei, include peruc\u0103.<\/p>\n Apoi ajungi la petrecere \u015fi mai \u00eent\u00e2lne\u015fti patru contese gotice \u015fi doi marchizi \u00eens\u00e2ngera\u0163i care, oops, au cump\u0103rat costumul de pe acela\u015fi site.<\/p>\n De ce s\u0103 nu pui talentul \u015fi imagina\u0163ia la contribu\u0163ie \u015fi s\u0103 \u00ee\u0163i f\u0103ure\u015fti tu singur ceva care s\u0103 nu semene cu nimic din ce ar putea purta al\u0163ii?<\/p>\n YouTube e plin de tutoriale pe aceast\u0103 tem\u0103, de la simplu la extrem de complex. \u015ei abia experiment\u00e2nd \u0163i se deschide mintea \u015fi \u00een\u0163elegi c\u0103 e\u015fti \u00een stare de mai multe dec\u00e2t ai crede.<\/p>\n E) Face painting generic gory cu haine casual. <\/strong><\/p>\n Yaaas, mergem la Halloween party.<\/p>\n Yaaas.<\/p>\n Vine Getu\u0163a s\u0103 ne picteze pe fa\u0163\u0103. Am chemat-o la 6.<\/p>\n Yaaas, dar nu e prea devreme?<\/p>\n Nu e, c\u0103 dureaz\u0103 s\u0103 te fac\u0103 cu detalii, ce-ai.<\/p>\n Yaaaas.<\/p>\n Yaaaaaaaas.<\/p>\n Tu ce te faci?<\/p>\n Craniu, \u015fi tu?<\/p>\n Zombi.<\/p>\n Yaaaasssss.<\/p>\n Yaaaaaaas.<\/p>\n \u015ei \u00een ce ne \u00eembr\u0103c\u0103m?<\/p>\n \u00cen ce cade din dulap c\u00e2nd \u00eel deschidem.<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n \u015ei a\u015fa apare personajul zombi p\u00e2n\u0103 la g\u00e2t, blugi \u015fi tricou gri de la g\u00e2t \u00een jos. L-a prins Apocalipsa, dar numai de p\u0103r.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n \u00ce\u0163i plac textele Trollywood? Po\u0163i sus\u0163ine \u015fi tu proiectul.<\/p>\n *** 31 octombrie e s\u0103rb\u0103toarea tuturor sfin\u021bilor, a martirilor \u0219i a celor dragi care au dat-o cotit\u0103, sau care au vrut s\u0103 ne p\u0103r\u0103seasc\u0103 cu...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":18581,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-18580","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/halleberry.jpg?fit=618%2C412&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18580","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=18580"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18580\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":18584,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18580\/revisions\/18584"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/18581"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=18580"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=18580"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=18580"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}![\"\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea-300x300.jpg?resize=300%2C300\")
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\nVrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe Twitter<\/a><\/strong> \u015fi Instagram<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"