Berbecul<\/strong><\/p>\n -B\u0103i, nepoate, c\u00e2nd eram eu t\u00e2n\u0103r, aveam o m\u0103t\u0103r\u00e2ng\u0103 c\u00e2t un st\u00e2lp de telegraf. Prindeam posturi de radio str\u0103ine cu ea.<\/p>\n -Ce e aia m\u0103t\u0103r\u00e2ng\u0103, bunicule?<\/p>\n -Coco\u015fel cu care faci pipi, dar mult mai mare.<\/p>\n -\u015ei nu era incomod s\u0103 mergi cu st\u00e2lpul de telegraf?<\/p>\n -Ba da, de-aia m-am \u015fi dus la spital s-o scurteze. Da’ asistenta, dup\u0103 ce m-a c\u0103l\u0103rit viteje\u015fte \u015fi a ascultat Radio Novi Sad direct \u00een ovare…<\/p>\n -Ce-s alea ovare, bunicule?<\/p>\n -Ni\u015fte chestii pe undeva \u00een corpul femeilor. Undeva foarte sus, m\u0103 \u00een\u0163elegi. Deci, asistenta…<\/p>\n -A ascultat Radio Novi Sad cu ovarele…<\/p>\n -Ce de\u015ftept e, pupu-l tataia. A zis c\u0103tre doctor: Domnu’ doctor, mai bine \u00eei lungim picioarele.<\/p>\n -Doctorul asculta \u015fi el radioul?<\/p>\n Taur\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n -Acum termin de f\u0103cut salata de boeuf, \u00een alea patru oale fierb c\u00e2te o ciorb\u0103, \u015fi mai \u00eencolo fac \u015fi o piftie bun\u0103\u0103\u0103, bun\u0103\u0103\u0103, s\u0103 te lingi pe degete. \u015ei s\u0103 zici mersi c\u0103 m-am sculat de diminea\u0163\u0103, c\u0103 am pus sarmalele la fiert din timp.<\/p>\n -P\u0103i avem trei invita\u0163i la mas\u0103, bunico.<\/p>\n -\u015ei ce, \u0103sta e un motiv s\u0103 murim de foame? Las\u0103, drag\u0103, c\u0103 am f\u0103cut destul\u0103 foame \u00een tinere\u0163e!<\/p>\n Gemenii\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n -Auzi, Costelu\u015f, eu mai sunt frumoas\u0103? \u015etiu c\u0103 mi-au ap\u0103rut pe ici pe colo ni\u015fte riduri, \u015fi c\u0103 acum am p\u0103rul alb, dar se mai vede frumuse\u0163ea impecabil\u0103 \u015fi perfect\u0103, tenul ca por\u0163elanul, buzele ca piersicile \u015fi ochii mari ca farurile de ARO cu care \u00eennebuneam tot satul?<\/p>\n -De unde s\u0103 \u015ftiu, eu te-am prins direct la b\u0103tr\u00e2ne\u0163e \u015fi nu m\u0103 pot g\u00e2ndi la tine \u00een paradigma asta, tataie.<\/p>\n Racul\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n -S\u0103 pupe buni pe el de nepo\u0163el frumu\u015fel \u015fi dr\u0103gu\u0163el. E\u015fti prin\u0163i\u015forul sufletului meu. E\u015fti iconi\u0163a alt\u0103ra\u015fului meu interioru\u0163. E\u015fti Isusel al doilea.<\/p>\n -Mam\u0103\u0103\u0103, \u00eennebune\u015fti copilul, mai las\u0103-l.<\/p>\n -Da’, ce, drag\u0103, trebuie s\u0103 fim toate repezite \u015fi capsate ca tine? Hai s\u0103-i pun\u0103 buni fundi\u0163\u0103 ro\u015fie lui Marcelu\u015f.<\/p>\n -Bunico, am 15 ani!!!<\/p>\n Leul\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n -F\u0103nele, s\u0103 treci pe la mine s\u0103-\u0163i dau ni\u015fte bani, s\u0103 nu \u015ftie m\u0103-ta. Un b\u0103rbat trebuie s\u0103 aib\u0103 bani, F\u0103nele, c\u0103 altfel te scuip\u0103 lumea \u00een cap \u015fi te trimite dup\u0103 \u0163ig\u0103ri. S\u0103-\u0163i iei ceva frumos de \u00eembr\u0103cat, s\u0103 te impui de cum intri pe u\u015f\u0103. Rodicoo, s\u0103 treci pe la mine s\u0103-\u0163i dau ni\u015fte bani, s\u0103 nu \u015ftie m\u0103-ta. S\u0103 ai banii t\u0103i, fata mea, dac\u0103 nu-\u0163i place gu\u015fterul, pl\u0103te\u015fti \u015fi pleci, nu stai la mila lui.<\/p>\n Fecioara\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n -Iar ai l\u0103sat o can\u0103 pe masa din sufragerie. De c\u00e2te ori s\u0103-\u0163i spun c\u0103 locul c\u0103nilor e \u00een dulap?<\/p>\n -Dar mai e lapte \u00een ea, bunico.<\/p>\n -Bea laptele, spal\u0103 cana \u015fi pune-o \u00eenapoi \u00een dulap, nu m\u0103 mai nec\u0103ji, Mirciulic\u0103. \u015ei ce-s astea?<\/p>\n -Unde?<\/p>\n -Aici, pe s\u0103pun. De c\u00e2te ori s\u0103-\u0163i spun s\u0103 cl\u0103te\u015fti s\u0103punul, s\u0103 nu la\u015fi cl\u0103buci pe el, c\u0103 nu e frumos? R\u00e2de lumea de noi \u015fi zice: uite \u015fi la \u00eeng\u0103la\u0163ii \u0103ia, las\u0103 cl\u0103buci pe s\u0103pun. \u0218i amprente pe robinet??? Neam de neamul meu n-a v\u0103zut a\u0219a ceva.<\/p>\n Balan\u0163a\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n -Eheeei, c\u00e2nd eram noi tineri, alta era dragostea. \u015etii c\u0103 eu \u015fi bunicul t\u0103u am t\u0103cut \u015fi ne-am \u0163inut de m\u00e2n\u0103 toat\u0103 seara la film, la prima \u00eent\u00e2lnire, pentru c\u0103 eram am\u00e2ndoi timizi \u015fi ne-a fost ru\u015fine s\u0103 spunem ceva?<\/p>\n -Pare cam plictisitor.<\/p>\n -Da, pentru c\u0103 voi nu \u00een\u0163elege\u0163i sufletul omenesc. C\u00e2nd m\u0103 atingea mo\u015fu-tu din \u00eent\u00e2mplare, vibra inima \u00een mine. \u015ei \u00een el, o sim\u0163eam.<\/p>\n -Sigur nu era mobilul pus pe silen\u0163ios, bunico?<\/p>\n -Oh, puiu\u0163, pe vremea noastr\u0103 telefonul era cu buline, \u015fi cadran, \u015fi \u0163ineai minte num\u0103rul de telefon. Nu \u015ftiai cine te sun\u0103. \u015ei c\u00e2nd era vocea cald\u0103 a lu mo\u015fu-tu, mi se oprea inima c\u00e2teva secunde.<\/p>\n Mai \u0219tiu oamenii de azi ce e iubirea?<\/p>\n Scorpionul\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n -La ce te ui\u0163i, bunico?<\/p>\n -La Chefi la cu\u0163ite.<\/p>\n -Pare o emisiune bun\u0103, amuzant\u0103.<\/p>\n -Ei, rahat. M\u0103 uit s\u0103 v\u0103d ce gre\u015feli face fiecare. Uite, m\u0103, cum \u0163ine \u0103la cu\u0163itul de parc\u0103 ar avea un c\u0103cat moale \u00een m\u00e2n\u0103. Aoleeeeu, a\u015fa se cur\u0103\u0163\u0103 cartoful? Eu zici s\u0103 te angajezi la belit alune, b\u0103i, acela. Ce s\u0103 zic, plic de condimente. De ce nu s-a dus s\u0103 ia verdea\u0163\u0103 proasp\u0103t\u0103 din pia\u0163\u0103, \u00eel dureau picioarele? Taie, m\u0103, ceapa aia cum trebuie. V-a\u0219 trimite pe to\u021bi \u00eenapoi la sp\u0103lat vase, s\u0103 \u00eenv\u0103\u021ba\u021bi c\u0103 NU A\u0218A SE FACE!!!<\/p>\n S\u0103get\u0103torul<\/strong><\/p>\n “Dragii mei, v\u0103 scriu din \u00eensorita Spanie. Tocmai am hot\u0103r\u00e2t s\u0103 m\u0103 reinventez \u015fi m-am \u00eenscris la un curs profesionist de flamenco. Acum mi-am cump\u0103rat \u015fi zapatos de baile \u015fi tocmai improvizez b\u0103t\u0103i din picioare cu patru gitani spanioli, \u00eentr-o c\u00e2rcium\u0103 dintr-un sat de care n-a\u0163i auzit \u00een via\u0163a voastr\u0103. Am ajuns aici cu autostopul, m-am combinat cu o negres\u0103 care voia s\u0103 ajung\u0103 pe Camino Real \u015fi se r\u0103t\u0103cise, \u015fi am f\u0103cut dragoste nebun\u0103 pe o str\u0103du\u0163\u0103 l\u0103turalnic\u0103 \u00een spatele unei biserici, ca \u00een filmul Damage.<\/p>\n V\u0103 pup,<\/p>\n Bunica.<\/p>\n P. S: Roc \u015fi rol.”<\/p>\n Capricornul<\/strong><\/p>\n “Mai am o s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2n\u0103 p\u00e2n\u0103 la pensie. Asta \u00eenseamn\u0103 c\u0103 pot fuma c\u00e2te zece \u0163ig\u0103ri pe zi. Chiar dou\u0103sprezece, dac\u0103 fac un efort, \u015fi renun\u0163 la \u00eenghe\u0163at\u0103 duminica.<\/p>\n Dar \u00eemi place \u015fi \u00eenghe\u0163ata duminica. E ca un ritual pentru mine. Nu \u015ftiu cum s\u0103 procedez.<\/p>\n Gata, \u015ftiu. \u0162in post negru o zi, m\u0103 ab\u0163in \u015fi de la \u0163ig\u0103ri, \u015fi apoi o s\u0103 am mai multe \u0163ig\u0103ri pentru restul zilelor.”<\/p>\n -Mesaj BRD: V-au intrat chiriile de la cele opt apartamente, \u00een total 4.000 de euro.<\/p>\n “Las\u0103-i, s\u0103 fie acolo, c\u0103 nu \u015ftii niciodat\u0103 c\u00e2nd ai nevoie. Gata, a\u015fa fac, post negru o zi”.<\/p>\n V\u0103rs\u0103torul\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n -Oare cum m\u0103 voi metamorfoza dup\u0103 moarte?<\/p>\n -Hai, mo\u015f Eusebiu, iar ba\u0163i c\u00e2mpii. Te descompui \u015fi r\u0103m\u00e2i oase \u015fi praf.<\/p>\n -Nu, m\u0103i, nu corpul fizic. M\u0103 refer la minte, la suflet, la tot acest cumul de con\u015ftiin\u0163\u0103, idei \u015fi percep\u0163ii pe care-mi place s\u0103-l numesc “eu”. De ce s\u0103 exist\u0103m ca ni\u015fte identit\u0103\u0163i at\u00e2t de complexe, doar ca, \u00eentr-o singur\u0103 clip\u0103 de trecere \u00een nefiin\u0163\u0103, s\u0103 ne autoanul\u0103m meteoric?<\/p>\n -N… nu \u015ftiu.<\/p>\n -E neverosimil pentru mine. Cred c\u0103 moartea e doar o poart\u0103 spre un nou nivel din via\u0163a noastr\u0103 etern\u0103. De fapt, infinitul identit\u0103\u0163ilor noastre e ca un \u015fir de u\u015fi care se tot deschid.<\/p>\n -\u015e… \u015fi nu e curent de la at\u00e2tea u\u015fi deschise, mo\u015f Eusebiu?<\/p>\n -Eeeh, tinere, e\u015fti \u015fi tu mic.<\/p>\n Pe\u015ftii<\/strong><\/p>\n -Alo, domnu’ doctor? M\u0103 scuza\u0163i c\u0103 v\u0103 deranjez azi, duminica, \u015fi la o or\u0103 at\u00e2t de matinal\u0103, dar m\u0103 \u0163ine a\u015faaa, un ghiont \u00een co\u015ful pieptului. Ca \u015fi cum ar fi b\u0103tut cineva un cui. \u015ei azi am \u015fi str\u0103nutat de patru ori. \u015ei simt a\u015fa cum m\u0103 g\u00e2dil\u0103 ceva pe sinusuri. Oare o fi cancer?<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n \u00ce\u0163i plac textele Trollywood? Po\u0163i sus\u0163ine \u015fi tu proiectul.<\/p>\n *** Ieri mi-a ap\u0103rut pe un agregator de \u0219tiri un titlu de genul Cele patru zodii care \u00eemb\u0103tr\u00e2nesc frumos. Evident c\u0103 nu l-am citit, pentru...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":12815,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-18761","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/astro.jpg?fit=1200%2C1200&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18761","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=18761"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18761\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":25425,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18761\/revisions\/25425"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/12815"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=18761"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=18761"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=18761"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}![\"\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea-300x300.jpg?resize=300%2C300\")
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\nVrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe Twitter<\/a><\/strong> \u015fi Instagram<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"