(ziua de luni seara fiind, desigur, alt\u0103 zi.)<\/p>\n
\u00a0\u0219i m-am trezit l\u00e2ng\u0103 ceva minunat: un s\u00e2n frumos de femeie.<\/strong><\/p>\n (wow. \u00eenlocuie\u015fte s\u00e2nul frumos cu steagul patriei noastre \u015fi ai \u00eenceputul perfect de compunere de clasa a III-a)\u00a0 (cam multe semne de exclama\u0163ie succesive, sperii cititorul.)\u00a0 (M\u0103, nasol s\u0103-mi dai de \u015ftire c\u0103 personajul era sa\u015fiu, chiar c\u00e2nd vrei s\u0103-mi scoli libidoul. Nasol s\u0103-\u0163i divor\u0163eze ochii a\u015fa.)<\/p>\n \u201eDa, st\u0103p\u00e2ne, s\u00e2nul acesta dezgolit, de sub nasul t\u0103u, este cel mai frumos s\u00e2n de femeie din lume. Ai fi cel mai mare fraier, dac\u0103 l-ai ierta! \u0218o pe el!\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n (<\/strong>pedepse\u015fte-l aspru, decapiteaz\u0103-l, trage-l pe roat\u0103, arde-l pe rug.)\u00a0 (“minun\u0103\u0163ia?” \u00eei ap\u0103ruse chipul lui Isus \u00eentre \u0163\u00e2\u0163e?)<\/p>\n Am \u00eentins m\u00e2na \u0219i am \u00eendep\u0103rtat \u00eenc\u0103 un pic bluza de pijama. (ro\u015fuuu?? Eu zic s\u0103 se duc\u0103 la un consult, genul \u0103la de irita\u0163ie trebuie tratat de urgen\u0163\u0103.)<\/p>\n Parc\u0103 m\u0103 sfida!<\/strong><\/p>\n (s\u0103racu’.)<\/p>\n \u00cempinsese \u00een l\u0103turi pijamaua iubitei mele \u0219i se ivise f\u0103r\u0103 pic de sfial\u0103.<\/strong><\/p>\n (stai c\u0103 m-ai \u00eencurcat. c\u00e2teva r\u00e2nduri mai sus, dep\u0103rtai tu pijamaua, aici, deja era vina sf\u00e2rcului iritat \u015fi pe cale de consecin\u0163\u0103 obraznic.)\u00a0 (se pare c\u0103 \u0163ie, dac\u0103 sim\u0163i nevoia s\u0103 ne informezi c\u00e2t e ceasul, \u00een acest punct al ac\u0163iunii.)\u00a0 (s\u0103ritul de la etajul zece.)<\/p>\n \u0218tiam c\u0103, dup\u0103 at\u00e2tea ore de nemi\u0219care, \u0219i s\u00e2nul ei voia acela\u0219i lucru, de aceea ap\u0103ruse acolo, foarte aproape de mine. \u00cen via\u021b\u0103, nimic nu se \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103 accidental!<\/strong><\/p>\n (nimic nu se potrive\u015fte mai bine \u00een acest punct dec\u00e2t filosofia coinciden\u0163ei vs. cauzalitate.)\u00a0 (\u00een liceu mi se zikea gigi reptil\u0103.)\u00a0 (ce ziceam eu c\u0103 \u00een liceu mi se zikea gigi reptil\u0103? a\u015fa \u00eenghi\u0163eam \u015fi \u015fobolanii, cu totul. Hap!)<\/p>\n (stai pu\u0163in. \u00eent\u00e2i sugeai, \u015fi pe urm\u0103 s-au unit buzele s\u0103 guste? dar cu ce sugeai \u00eenainte?cu o valv\u0103 de suc\u0163iune?<\/p>\n PS: dac\u0103 erau \u015fi secre\u0163ii, recomand urgent vizita aia la medic \u015fi nu, ce curgea acolo garantat nu era fericire.)<\/p>\n (pentru c\u0103, nu-i a\u015fa, aici se impune s\u0103 convingem cititorul c\u0103 suptul e sine qua non, nu s-a prins \u015fi singur.)\u00a0 (“vietatea”? mai era cineva \u00een pat, \u00een afar\u0103 de eul narator \u015fi iubita eului narator? spre deosebire de ei doi, ea adormit\u0103, el obositor de redundant p\u00e2n\u0103 aici, vietatea are m\u0103car complexitate: e ba moale, ba obraznic\u0103.)<\/p>\n fusese creat\u0103 de Dumnezeu special pentru gura mea. <\/strong>(destinul implacabil.) Avea parc\u0103 un gust de piersic\u0103 moale \u0219i p\u00e2rguit\u0103.<\/strong><\/p>\n (vezi c\u0103 folose\u015fti moale de dou\u0103 ori per paragraf, iar asta \u00eemi deterioreaz\u0103 grav libidoul.)\u00a0 (evident c\u0103 nu era evident.)\u00a0 (\u015fi s\u0103-i mai plictisesc un pic pe cititori cu acelea\u015fi cli\u015fee erotomane.)<\/p>\n Nu voiam s\u0103 m\u0103 despart niciun moment de ceea ce dezmierdam. Sf\u00e2rcul catifelat \u0219i moale \u0219i limba mea legaser\u0103 o prietenie pe via\u021b\u0103. <\/strong><\/p>\n (\u015fi tocmai ie\u015feau la o bere pe teras\u0103.)<\/p>\n Am pus \u0219i m\u00e2na. De acum, s\u00e2nul ei nu mai avea nicio \u0219ans\u0103!<\/strong><\/p>\n (urma s\u0103 fie smuls din r\u0103d\u0103cin\u0103, filetat \u015fi servit pe un pat de morcovi sota\u0163i.)<\/p>\n Afar\u0103 ciripeau vr\u0103biile, iar g\u00e2zele zburau vesele la soare. Era via\u021b\u0103 \u0219i acolo, dar era via\u021b\u0103 \u0219i aici, \u00een dormitorul nostru.<\/strong><\/p>\n (pentru c\u0103 ce ne intereseaz\u0103 mai mult c\u00e2nd afl\u0103m c\u0103 un s\u00e2n nu are nici o \u015fans\u0103, dec\u00e2t cli\u015fee din compunerea Prim\u0103vara, de Vasilic\u0103 Rogoz, \u015fcoala general\u0103 din Sc\u0103ie\u0163ii de Deal.)<\/p>\n Probabil Mama Natur\u0103 ne privea amuzat\u0103 de dincolo de geam.<\/strong><\/p>\n (Can you blame her?)\u00a0 (Deja ne-ai povestit redundant ce vedea, e ok, \u015ftim.)\u00a0 (Deja ne-ai povestit redundant ce vedea, e ok, \u015ftim.)<\/p>\n Vedea cel mai normal lucru din lume: un b\u0103rbat care sugea cu l\u0103comie s\u00e2nul unei fete.<\/strong><\/p>\n (Wow. Mul\u0163umim de l\u0103murire.)\u00a0 (Ar fi fost trist s-o apuce pe c\u0103r\u0103ri separate.)\u00a0 (Pe scurt, eul narator ne informeaz\u0103 c\u0103 el, \u015fomer fiind, fute la ore la care omul normal munce\u015fte. Loc de invidie: _____)\u00a0 (Crede-ne, am prins-o deja pe asta.)\u00a0 (Nasol cu vacarmul de Bucure\u015fti.)\u00a0 (Fericirea noastr\u0103 plecase cu botezul prin bloc \u015fi intona pope\u015fte pe nas.)\u00a0 (Ca pe trambulin\u0103. Boioioiong.)\u00a0 \u00cemi p\u0103rea r\u0103u pentru s\u00e2nul pe care-l l\u0103sasem, a\u0219a c\u0103 i-am cuprins pe am\u00e2ndoi \u00een palme \u0219i i-am adus mai aproape unul de altul. Era mai corect a\u0219a! Acum puteam s\u0103-i dezmierd mai u\u0219or pe am\u00e2ndoi. (Bunicu\u0163o, pot s\u0103 m\u0103 joc cu \u0163\u00e2\u0163ele tale?<\/p>\n Da, dar s\u0103 nu ie\u015fi din curte.)\u00a0 (dar de unde \u00eel chema, Lord Jesus?)\u00a0 (s\u0103 trag\u0103 de chilo\u0163i? orice femeie cu un pic de experien\u0163\u0103 nimere\u015fte cucul din prima, nu smuce\u015fte de chilo\u0163i cum smuci\u0163i de sutien voi, cei care nu v\u0103 pricepe\u0163i.)<\/p>\n n-am mai putut s-o ignor. (cam peeping tom mama natur\u0103 asta.)\u00a0 (\u00een… p\u00e2ntece? credeam c\u0103 vrei s-o foo\u0163i, nu s-o omori. abia \u0103sta e un twist.)\u00a0 (c\u00e2nd e un moment mai potrivit s\u0103 \u0163ipi lozinci spre popula\u0163ie?)<\/p>\n \u00cent\u00e2i un s\u00e2n alb \u0219i minunat, f\u0103cut special pentru a fi supt. Apoi al doilea. Apoi\u2026 restul!<\/strong><\/p>\n (dar c\u00e2\u0163i s\u00e2ni avea \u00een total Sofia?)\u00a0 (cam mult\u0103 minunare \u00een aceea\u015fi propozi\u0163ie.)\u00a0 (c\u0103 dac\u0103 se \u00eencol\u0103ceau \u00een jurul tastaturii tale, am fi pierdut to\u0163i acest filon de lirism eruptiv – ejaculatoriu.)<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n Ce s\u0103 zic? Am v\u0103zut recent un comedy special pe HBO, My Dad Wrote a Porno. Unde unii citeau maculatur\u0103 execrabil\u0103 pornografic\u0103 scris\u0103 de un nene care nu \u015ftia multe, dar avea ambi\u0163ie. Dac\u0103 curg suficiente dona\u0163ii, promit s\u0103 fac My Reader Wrote a Porno, un filmule\u0163 unde citesc chestia asta.<\/p>\n M\u0103car s\u0103 r\u00e2dem p\u00e2n\u0103 la cap\u0103t.<\/p>\n Foto: James Charles.<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n \u00ce\u0163i plac textele Trollywood? Po\u0163i sus\u0163ine \u015fi tu proiectul.<\/p>\n *** \u00cemi scrie un cet\u0103\u0163ean c\u0103 are un manuscris erotic refuzat de 29 de edituri \u015fi \u015fters de pe Amazon.com, dar c\u0103 \u00ee\u015fi dore\u015fte s\u0103...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":18773,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-18772","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/sister_shook_james_charles.jpg?fit=750%2C421&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18772","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=18772"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18772\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":18776,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18772\/revisions\/18776"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/18773"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=18772"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=18772"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=18772"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nMai \u00eent\u00e2i l-am v\u0103zut cu un singur ochi. Somnoros!
\nApoi treaz!<\/strong><\/p>\n
\nApoi mi-am ridicat \u0219i cel\u0103lalt ochi din pern\u0103. Ochiul drept s-a pus repede de acord cu ochiul st\u00e2ng \u0219i au ajuns am\u00e2ndoi la aceea\u0219i concluzie:<\/strong><\/p>\n
\nMi-am apropiat capul \u0219i mai tare de pieptul Sofiei, ca s\u0103 v\u0103d minun\u0103\u021bia aceea. <\/strong><\/p>\n
\nMinun\u0103\u021bia era acolo, un s\u00e2n rotund \u0219i alb care-\u0219i ridica cu obr\u0103znicie sf\u00e2rcul ro\u0219u \u00eenconjurat de aureol\u0103.<\/strong><\/p>\n
\nEra cam \u0219ase diminea\u021ba, poate \u0219apte. Cui \u00eei mai p\u0103sa?<\/strong><\/p>\n
\nPriveam hipnotizat s\u00e2nul Sofiei \u0219i eram preg\u0103tit pentru singurul lucru pe care-l aveam de f\u0103cut. <\/strong><\/p>\n
\nAm \u00eenceput s\u0103 respir \u0219i mai des, \u0219i mai ad\u00e2nc, \u00eens\u0103 de clipit n-am clipit nicio secund\u0103.<\/strong><\/p>\n
\nA fost suficient\u0103 o aplecare u\u0219oar\u0103 \u0219i, de acum, vietatea alb\u0103 \u0219i frumoas\u0103 tres\u0103lta chiar sub nasul meu. \u00cenc\u0103 un pic \u0219i \u201eHap!\u201d.<\/strong><\/p>\n
\nSugeam \u00eenceti\u0219or ceea ce mi se oferea. Buzele mi s-au unit pe izvorul acela de fericire, l-au gustat \u0219i l-au m\u00e2ng\u00e2iat.<\/strong><\/p>\n
\nCum s\u0103 nu-l m\u00e2ng\u00e2i? Cum s\u0103 nu-l sugi?<\/strong><\/p>\n
\nVietatea aceea, c\u00e2nd moale \u0219i pufoas\u0103, c\u00e2nd obraznic\u0103\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n
\n\u2013 Bun\u0103 diminea\u021ba! a gemut u\u0219or Sofia. Ce faci?<\/strong><\/p>\n
\nAr fi trebuit s\u0103 fiu nebun ca s\u0103-i r\u0103spund. <\/strong><\/p>\n
\nCe vedea?<\/strong><\/p>\n
\nCe putea s\u0103 vad\u0103? <\/strong><\/p>\n
\nDegetele fine ale Sofiei mi-au c\u0103utat ceafa \u0219i m-au ap\u0103sat moale spre pieptul ei. Mai aveam un pic \u0219i m\u0103 topeam de fericire! Am mu\u0219cat-o u\u0219or de s\u00e2n. Bra\u021bele mele au \u00eenl\u0103n\u021buit-o \u0219i au tras-o spre mine. Trebuia s\u0103 r\u0103m\u00e2n\u0103 acolo \u0219i ea, \u0219i s\u00e2nii ei!<\/strong><\/p>\n
\nDeparte de noi, dincolo de geamuri, exista o lume trist\u0103 cu oameni tri\u0219ti \u0219i gr\u0103bi\u021bi care-\u0219i beau cafelele pe fug\u0103, \u00ee\u0219i lustruiau repede pantofii, \u00ee\u0219i num\u0103rau m\u0103run\u021bi\u0219ul pentru metrou ori \u00ee\u0219i f\u0103ceau nervo\u0219i nodul la cravat\u0103 \u00een fa\u021ba oglinzii.<\/strong><\/p>\n
\nAici, nu! Aici eu sugeam s\u00e2nul femeii care m\u0103 iubea \u0219i m\u0103 ap\u0103sa bl\u00e2nd cu m\u00e2na pe ceaf\u0103.<\/strong><\/p>\n
\nAfar\u0103, taxiurile claxonau, \u0219oferii se \u00eenjurau unii pe al\u021bii, motoarele urlau, iar trec\u0103torii alergau pe trecerile de pietoni.<\/strong><\/p>\n
\nAici era pace \u0219i fericirea noastr\u0103 sfin\u021bea totul!<\/strong><\/p>\n
\nAm tras u\u0219or de pijamaua Sofiei \u0219i ea a \u00een\u021beles, a mai descheiat un nasture \u0219i a eliberat pentru mine \u0219i cel\u0103lalt s\u00e2n. Am s\u0103rit imediat pe el.<\/strong><\/p>\n
\n\u2013 Da, f\u0103-i \u0219i lui o bucurie! a \u0219optit ea amuzat\u0103 \u0219i m-a m\u00e2ng\u00e2iat pe cap.<\/strong><\/p>\n
\n\u00cei voiam! Nu \u0219tiam pe care s\u0103-l iubesc mai mult, erau am\u00e2ndoi frumo\u0219i, am\u00e2ndoi pufo\u0219i \u0219i albi ca laptele. Gura mea \u00eel dezmierda \u0219i \u00eel sugea pe unul \u00een timp ce ducea dorul celuilalt.<\/strong><\/p>\n
\n\u0218i, \u00een timp ce eram ocupat cu asta, Sofia profita de neaten\u021bia mea <\/strong>(???? deci ipoteza cu ie\u015fitul din curte cap\u0103t\u0103 sens) ca s\u0103 scape de pantalonii de pijama.
\n\u2013 Vino! mi-a \u0219optit ea, desf\u0103c\u00e2ndu-\u0219i larg coapsele pentru mine. Vino!<\/strong><\/p>\n
\nAm f\u0103cut pe surdul \u0219i am continuat s\u0103-i sug s\u00e2nii. C\u00e2nd a \u00eenceput \u00eens\u0103 s\u0103 trag\u0103 de chilo\u021bii mei, <\/strong><\/p>\n
\nProbabil c\u0103 Mama Natur\u0103 era tot acolo, afar\u0103, dincolo de geam.<\/strong><\/p>\n
\nProbabil d\u0103dea din cap \u0219i \u00eencuviin\u021ba z\u00e2mbind <\/strong>(\u015fi f\u0103cea \u015fi o lab\u0103 sau gen) c\u00e2nd b\u0103rbatul de dincoace de geam, f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103-\u0219i dezlipeasc\u0103 niciun moment gura de s\u00e2nii fetei,<\/strong> (flexibilitate. i haz it.) \u0219i-a f\u0103cut loc \u00eentre coapsele deschise \u0219i a intrat \u00een p\u00e2ntecele ei dintr-o singur\u0103 mi\u0219care.<\/strong><\/p>\n
\nA\u0219a era mersul firesc al lucrurilor: un b\u0103rbat \u0219i o femeie, pentru totdeauna! Se \u00eent\u00e2mpla de c\u00e2nd Ve\u0219nicia \u00eel f\u0103cuse pe Adam \u0219i apoi pe Eva. Era o tain\u0103 mai veche dec\u00e2t lumea!<\/strong><\/p>\n
\nNatura era minunat de \u00een\u021beleapt\u0103, iar via\u021ba era minunat\u0103!<\/strong><\/p>\n
\nPicioarele Sofiei s-au \u00eencol\u0103cit \u00een jurul meu.
\n<\/strong><\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea-300x300.jpg?resize=300%2C300\")
<\/a><\/p>\n
\nVrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe Twitter<\/a><\/strong> \u015fi Instagram<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"