{"id":18814,"date":"2020-01-04T14:49:32","date_gmt":"2020-01-04T11:49:32","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=18814"},"modified":"2020-01-04T15:04:38","modified_gmt":"2020-01-04T12:04:38","slug":"cuu-georgetei","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/cuu-georgetei\/","title":{"rendered":"Cu*u Georgetei"},"content":{"rendered":"

-Iart\u0103-m\u0103, p\u0103rinte, c\u0103 am p\u0103c\u0103tuit.<\/p>\n

-\u0218tiu, fiule, c\u0103 suntem prieteni pe Facebook \u0219i m\u0103 rog pentru sufletul t\u0103u \u00een fiecare zi.<\/p>\n

-Nu, nu, de data asta am p\u0103c\u0103tuit crunt.<\/p>\n

-Mai crunt?<\/p>\n

-Mai. \u00centr-o zi obi\u0219nuit\u0103 de mar\u021bi, mi s-a \u00eent\u00e2mplat curul Georgetei.<\/p>\n

-Cum adic\u0103 \u021bi s-a \u00eent\u00e2mplat curul Georgetei, fiule? Cururile nu se \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103 a\u0219a, la voia \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103rii, oricui trece pe acolo.<\/p>\n

-Cururile generice nu, p\u0103rinte, dar curul Georgetei e genul acela haps\u00e2n de apari\u021bie, care \u00ee\u021bi \u00eencurc\u0103 tabla \u00eenmul\u021bimirii \u00een cap.<\/p>\n

-Vai de tine, s\u0103race.<\/p>\n

-Vai de mine, taic\u0103, deja ard \u00een focul iadului \u0219i nici m\u0103car n-am murit. Pentru c\u0103 am comis abuz la locul faptei, p\u0103rinte. Dac\u0103 tot mi se frichinea Georgeta pe sub nas \u0219i pretindea c\u0103 are treab\u0103 exact acolo \u0219i nu \u00een alt\u0103 parte, am \u00een\u0219f\u0103cat-o \u0219i eu de… \u00eent\u00e2mplare.
\nSau poate curul Georgetei a s\u0103rit din loc \u0219i m-a apucat cordial de m\u00e2n\u0103. \u00cenc\u0103 nu mi-e clar cum a fost, c\u0103 mi se pusese cea\u021b\u0103 pe creier. <\/p>\n

-Ur\u00e2t. Te pa\u0219te metoo, am\u0103r\u00e2tule.<\/p>\n

-M-a p\u0103scut deja, acum m\u0103 rumeg\u0103, p\u0103rinte. \u0218i c\u00e2nd am pus eu m\u00e2na pe curul Georgetei, a \u00eenceput s\u0103 frig\u0103 precum cazanul de smoal\u0103 al lui Scaraoschi \u0219i s\u0103 se lichefieze ca Terminator 2, de ziceai c\u0103 mai are pu\u021bin \u0219i m\u0103 absoarbe.<\/p>\n

-Ur\u00e2t din partea ei, fiule.<\/p>\n

-Teribil de ur\u00e2t, da. <\/p>\n

-\u0218i ce ai f\u0103cut, p\u0103c\u0103tosule? <\/p>\n

-Mi s-a f\u0103cut fric\u0103, p\u0103rinte. Mi-am dat seama de efemeritatea mea pe p\u0103m\u00e2nt. \u0218i de faptul c\u0103, dac\u0103 se a\u0219az\u0103 vreodat\u0103 Georgeta pe mine, cu curul \u0103la devorator \u0219i nes\u0103tul, m\u0103 \u00eenghite cu totul, \u0219i nici m\u0103car nu tresare. Am \u00een\u021bepenit de groaz\u0103. <\/p>\n

-\u0218i? <\/p>\n

-\u0218i at\u00e2t. P\u00e2n\u0103 m-am des\u021belenit, Georgeta plecase. Dar cumva, curul Georgetei nu.
\n\u0218i de atunci, fug \u00een toate direc\u021biile, dar \u00eenc\u0103 port \u00een palme curul Georgetei. Cred c\u0103 m-a tatuat sau ceva. Vezi dunga asta?<\/p>\n

-Linia vie\u021bii.<\/p>\n

-Ei, p\u0103rinte, aici e de fapt h\u0103ul f\u0103r\u0103 cap\u0103t pe care mi l-a imprimat Georgeta \u00een palm\u0103. Dac\u0103 ar fi s-o ardem mistic, ar trebui s\u0103-mi bat un cui, ca Isus.<\/p>\n

-Fiule, eu zic s\u0103 dai la Drept.<\/p>\n

-De ce?<\/p>\n

-Numai ceasloavele alea groase te mai pot salva de curul Georgetei.<\/p>\n

-Poate chiar Dreptul \u00een sine a fost inventat de un biet am\u0103r\u00e2t care voia s\u0103 se m\u00e2ntuiasc\u0103 de curul unei Georgete arhaice, cu oase de dinozaur \u00een p\u0103r. Ce bine c\u0103 exist\u0103 curul Georgetei s\u0103 ne pun\u0103 cu burta pe carte.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

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***
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-Iart\u0103-m\u0103, p\u0103rinte, c\u0103 am p\u0103c\u0103tuit. -\u0218tiu, fiule, c\u0103 suntem prieteni pe Facebook \u0219i m\u0103 rog pentru sufletul t\u0103u \u00een fiecare zi. -Nu, nu, de...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":18815,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-18814","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/cow.jpg?fit=480%2C500&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18814","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=18814"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18814\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":18821,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18814\/revisions\/18821"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/18815"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=18814"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=18814"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=18814"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}