Te \u00een\u021beleg! Hai s\u0103 vb. la tel. \u0219i \u00ee\u021bi promit c\u0103 te vei mai lini\u0219ti.<\/p>\n
\u00cemi cer scuze, nu sunt acum \u00een dispozi\u021bia potrivit\u0103 pentru asta.<\/strong><\/p>\n De ong answer!<\/p>\n Wrong answer!<\/p>\n \u00cencearc\u0103 s\u0103 treci peste starea aceea…<\/p>\n Ok, nu am chef acum sun\u0103 mai pu\u021bin ong?<\/strong><\/p>\n 074x.xxx.xxx<\/p>\n Este \u0219i \u00een profilul meu…<\/p>\n Stimate domn, care parte din N \u0219i U necesit\u0103 desen?<\/strong><\/p>\n Ok.!<\/p>\n Am \u00een\u021beles.<\/p>\n No\u021biunea c\u0103 altul are drept de decizie pe ceea ce face v\u0103 e complet str\u0103in\u0103?<\/strong><\/p>\n Deloc!<\/p>\n Doar c\u0103 tb. s\u0103 vezi lucrurile din alt\u0103 perspectiv\u0103.<\/p>\n Bun. Dac\u0103 eu spun c\u0103 nu \u00eemi doresc acum o conversa\u021bie la telefon, v\u0103 invit s\u0103 recep\u021biona\u021bi informa\u021bia ca atare \u0219i s\u0103 nu insista\u021bi.<\/strong><\/p>\n Ok.!<\/p>\n Sorry!<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n Acest gen de interac\u0163iune este suportat de fetele mele, care nu \u015fi-au creat o reputa\u0163ie de scorpii pe net, zi de zi. Remarca\u0163i cum polite\u0163ea ini\u0163ial\u0103 este taxat\u0103 drept “ONG”. cum \u00ee\u015fi ia nenicul \u0103sta libertatea s\u0103 se obr\u0103zniceasc\u0103 cu “Wrong answer” (pe timpul meu, da???), cu “\u00eencearc\u0103 s\u0103 vezi lucrurile din alt\u0103 perspectiv\u0103” (aia \u00een care poate \u00ee\u0163i fabrici de undeva chef de vorb\u0103 \u015fi timp de oferit), cum \u00ee\u015fi bag\u0103 num\u0103rul de telefon cu sila dup\u0103 ce refuzasem explicit \u015fi ferm de trei ori \u015fi a\u015fa mai departe. Noroc c\u0103 am maturitatea s\u0103 nu-l public. La c\u00e2\u0163i troli b\u00e2ntuie pe aici, ar fi avut c\u00e2teva zile palpitante, \u015fi jur c\u0103 le-ar fi meritat. Dar GDPR \u00eenc\u0103 penalizeaz\u0103 astfel de ini\u0163iative.<\/p>\n Teribil\u0103, \u00eengrozitoare interac\u0163iune. \u015ei de aici, hai s\u0103 vorbim \u00eempreun\u0103 despre no\u0163iunea de limite. Bine, limitele \u00een limba rom\u00e2n\u0103 sun\u0103 a ceva negativ. \u00cen englez\u0103, se numesc boundaries \u015fi reprezint\u0103 spa\u0163iul personal al unei persoane \u015fi setul de reguli \u015fi de principii pe care nu le \u00eencalci.<\/p>\n Boundaries sunt ca u\u015fa de intrare a apartamentului.<\/p>\n Nu prime\u015fti pe oricine neinvitat \u00een apartament, \u015fi cine intr\u0103, trebuie s\u0103 respecte regulile casei: s\u0103 \u00ee\u015fi pun\u0103 papuci, s\u0103 aga\u0163e haina unde \u00eei indici tu s-o aga\u0163e, s\u0103 nu se cace pe covor \u015fi a\u015fa mai departe.<\/p>\n Dar exist\u0103 \u00eentotdeauna martorii lui Iehova, colind\u0103torii afoni \u015fi vecina pus\u0103 pe har\u0163\u0103 care au preten\u0163ia s\u0103 fac\u0103 razie pe la tine la cele mai nasoale ore, bat ca boii la u\u015f\u0103 \u015fi url\u0103: \u015etiu c\u0103 e\u015fti acas\u0103!!<\/p>\n E u\u015for s\u0103 bagi \u00een mor\u0163ii mamei lor insisten\u0163ii care \u0163i-s cu des\u0103v\u00e2r\u015fire str\u0103ini, un pic mai greu s\u0103-i \u0163ii la distan\u0163\u0103 pe \u0103\u015ftia, pe care deja \u00eei cuno\u015fti real \u015fi al naibii de greu s\u0103 setezi limite unei familii b\u0103g\u0103re\u0163e \u015fi agasante. Dar, pentru s\u0103n\u0103tatea ta psihic\u0103, merit\u0103 s\u0103 \u00eenve\u0163i s\u0103\u00a0 faci asta.<\/p>\n Persoanele care se tem de conflict tind s\u0103 cedeze mai mult \u015fi mai mult teritoriu personal. \u015ei problema cu invadatorii de tipul celui citat mai sus este c\u0103, cu c\u00e2t le cedezi mai mult spa\u0163iu, cu at\u00e2t \u0163i se urc\u0103 mai mult \u00een cap. Next thing you know, s-au instalat \u00een fotoliul t\u0103u, \u00ee\u0163i m\u0103n\u00e2nc\u0103 m\u00e2ncarea \u015fi \u00ee\u0163i confisc\u0103 bugetul. Ca s\u0103 continu\u0103m frumoasa mea analogie cu boundaries ca u\u015f\u0103 de apartament.<\/p>\n \u015ei realitatea e c\u0103, de c\u00e2te ori permi\u0163i s\u0103 \u0163i se \u00eencalce un boundary, o tr\u0103ie\u015fti ca pe o traum\u0103, \u00een cazuri serioase, \u015fi ca pe un motiv de oftic\u0103, \u00een chestii mici.<\/p>\n C\u00e2nd e\u015fti nemul\u0163umit(\u0103) de via\u0163a ta, pentru c\u0103 e plin\u0103 de genul \u0103sta de interac\u0163iuni \u015fi tu e\u015fti mereu fata bun\u0103 care las\u0103 de la ea, e semn c\u0103 e cazul s\u0103 cite\u015fti acest articol.<\/p>\n A) Odat\u0103 ce ai setat limite, fii ferm\u0103 \u00een privin\u0163a lor.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n Nu m\u0103 intereseaz\u0103 s\u0103 stau la palavre cu tine la telefon. Punct. Insi\u015fti degeaba, nu am acest timp, \u015fi chiar dac\u0103 l-a\u015f avea, am minimum cinci treburi prioritare \u00een ochii mei.<\/p>\n C\u00e2nd insisten\u0163a se lunge\u015fte prea mult, po\u0163i \u00eenceta pur \u015fi simplu s\u0103 r\u0103spunzi. Sau dac\u0103 \u0163ii neap\u0103rat la polite\u0163e, spui ceva de genul: \u00cemi cer scuze, m\u0103 strig\u0103 copiii, m\u0103 duc s\u0103 v\u0103d ce au spart de data asta.<\/p>\n “Nu” \u00eenseamn\u0103 N \u015fi U, nu este poate \u015fi nu este probabil c\u0103 da. Dac\u0103 voiam s\u0103 spun: s\u0103 m\u0103 mai g\u00e2ndesc, spuneam: s\u0103 m\u0103 mai g\u00e2ndesc.<\/p>\n Odat\u0103 ce-\u0163i impui cu hot\u0103r\u00e2re Nu-urile \u015fi lumea se \u00eenva\u0163\u0103 c\u0103 nu te suce\u015fti ca trenurile \u00een gara Ploie\u015fti, vor \u00eencepe s\u0103 te streseze mult mai pu\u0163in.<\/p>\n B) Seteaz\u0103-le din timp.<\/strong><\/p>\n S\u0103 zicem c\u0103 Ionel e amorezat de Marghioala. Marghioala nu e interesat\u0103 de Ionel, dar merge pe principiul: nu \u00eemi place singur\u0103. Ionel o scoate \u00een ora\u015f. El vrea sex, ea vrea o ciorb\u0103 moca. Apoi Marghioala ajunge la Ionel acas\u0103 \u015fi \u00een timp ce el \u00eei scoate sutienul, se treze\u015fte: Nu \u00eemi doresc s\u0103 facem sex.<\/p>\n Dac\u0103 Ionel se nimere\u015fte a fi genul de pis\u0103log care \u00ee\u015fi bag\u0103 num\u0103rul de telefon c\u00e2nd tu \u00eei spui a treia oar\u0103 c\u0103 nu ai chef, violul e o certitudine. Apoi, pas de demonstreaz\u0103 la poli\u0163ie c\u0103 tu ai fost violat\u0103. Te-ai dus la \u0103la acas\u0103? Da. L-ai l\u0103sat s\u0103-\u0163i scoat\u0103 sutienul? Da. A fost sex consensual, palarevedere.<\/p>\n Seteaz\u0103 limitele foarte ferm \u015fi foarte clar din timp. De dinainte s\u0103-\u015fi fac\u0103 speran\u0163e. Dac\u0103 nu e\u015fti t\u00e2mpit\u0103, \u015ftii c\u0103 \u00een momentul \u00een care un b\u0103rbat te invit\u0103 acas\u0103 la el, \u00ee\u0163i spune de fapt: hai s\u0103 ne fxtem. \u015ei sincer, ciorba aia moca nu merit\u0103 deranjul. Refuz\u0103, dac\u0103 \u015ftii c\u0103 nu vrei sex, \u015fi stai acas\u0103 la tine. E \u015fi spre binele individului. Ce sens are s\u0103 i-o scoli \u015fi s\u0103-i recomanzi s\u0103 continue manual?<\/p>\n C) La un moment dat, opre\u015fte conversa\u0163ia.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n S\u0103 zicem c\u0103 ai o mam\u0103 tradi\u0163ional\u0103, lipit\u0103 de coada crati\u0163ei, care te freac\u0103 la icre s\u0103 te m\u0103ri\u0163i \u015fi s\u0103-i faci nepo\u0163i, de\u015fi tu nu ai nici urm\u0103 de emo\u0163ie matern\u0103 \u015fi c\u00e2nd auzi prunci \u0163ip\u00e2nd ca din gur\u0103 de \u015farpe din Mega Image, oftezi: Reclam\u0103 la prezervative.<\/p>\n I-ai zis odat\u0103. I-ai zis de dou\u0103 ori. I-ai zis de cincizeci de ori. “\u015ei, ce e cu b\u0103iatul \u0103la cu care te-ai pozat pe Instagram, c\u00e2nd te m\u0103…” “Opa, stai c\u0103 mi-a dat cafeaua \u00een foc. Byeeeeeeeee.”<\/p>\n \u015ei \u00eenchizi.<\/p>\n Dac\u0103 \u00eenchizi de fiecare dat\u0103 c\u00e2nd te ia cu un subiect de care n-ai chef, la un moment dat, se prinde de ea informa\u0163ia c\u0103 nu agreezi subiectul.<\/p>\n D) Nu te teme de “nu \u00eemi doresc asta”, “nu am timp” \u015fi “nu mi se pare interesant”<\/strong><\/p>\n C\u00e2nd se pune c\u00e2te unul cu gura pe tine s\u0103-i faci c\u00e2te un serviciu care pe tine nu te ajut\u0103 cu nimic, \u00ee\u0163i consum\u0103 \u015fi timp, \u015fi \u015ftii \u00een r\u0103runchi c\u0103 \u0103la nu va avea EVER recuno\u015ftin\u0163a s\u0103 fac\u0103 un serviciu la schimb, c\u00e2t despre pl\u0103tit, sula \u015fi c\u0103ciula.<\/p>\n \u015ei \u0103la se va apuca s\u0103 insiste pe toate p\u0103r\u0163ile, c\u0103ut\u00e2nd s\u0103 anihileze motiva\u0163iile tale ini\u0163iale. P\u00e2n\u0103 la urm\u0103, dac\u0103 ajunge s\u0103 despice firul de p\u0103r \u00een patru, opt \u015fi \u015faisprezece, po\u0163i ajunge \u015fi tu la r\u0103d\u0103cina problemei: PENTRU C\u0102 NU VREA PULA MEA, OK????<\/p>\n Sigur, asta nu se face cu oamenii cu care ai un contract \u015fi care te-au pl\u0103tit. Dar se face cu misecuveni\u015ftii, mocangiii, vampirii energetici, lipitorile \u015fi at\u00e2rn\u0103torii.<\/p>\n E) Sugereaz\u0103 c\u0103 exist\u0103 consecin\u0163e.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n S\u0103 zicem c\u0103 tu ai anun\u0163at foarte clar s\u0103 nu fii sunat\u0103 \u00eenainte de ora 14, c\u0103 ai job de noapte \u015fi ai \u015fi tu dreptul la somnul t\u0103u. \u015ei se g\u0103se\u015fte unul \u015fi acela\u015fi bou \/ una \u015fi aceea\u015fi vac\u0103, s\u0103 zicem taic\u0103-tu, care numai de-al tracu sun\u0103 la 8 diminea\u0163a.<\/p>\n \u015ei \u00eei spui o dat\u0103, de dou\u0103 ori, de cincizeci de ori. Spune-i omului, cu calm \u015fi foarte ferm, c\u0103 sau \u00eenceteaz\u0103 s\u0103 te sune \u00eenainte de dou\u0103, sau ve\u0163i rupe complet comunicarea telefonic\u0103 \u015fi \u00eel pui la numere filtrate.<\/p>\n Dac\u0103 \u00eencepe s\u0103 \u0163ipe, oops, uite ce pui de somn s-a n\u0103pustit \u00een patul meu, paaaa.<\/p>\n \u015ei \u00een ultim\u0103 instan\u0163\u0103, aplic\u0103 respectivele consecin\u0163e.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n Dureros, dac\u0103 e vorba de membri de familie, dar dac\u0103 ei nu coopereaz\u0103 cu nimic s\u0103 fie bine, s\u0103 nu fie r\u0103u, nu ai de ales.<\/p>\n Pune-l pe taic\u0103-tu la numere filtrate o lun\u0103. Dac\u0103 te \u00eentreab\u0103, \u00eei spui: \u0162i-am zis de 4568 de ori s\u0103 nu suni \u00eenainte de dou\u0103? \u0162i-am zis. Ai ban, ca pe Facebook, o lun\u0103 \u00een cap.<\/p>\n Dac\u0103 \u00eencalci standardele comunit\u0103\u0163ii \u00eenc\u0103 o lun\u0103, mai prime\u015fti o lun\u0103 de ban.<\/p>\n \u015ei tot a\u015fa, repetat.<\/p>\n Seteaz\u0103 limite clare legate de lucrurile pe care nu le tolerezi \u015fi nu le accep\u0163i, \u015fi, chiar dac\u0103 te vor deranja pe viitor insisten\u0163e ca discu\u0163ia citat\u0103 de mine mai sus, va fi un deranj minor comparativ pe furia pe care o resim\u0163i fa\u0163\u0103 de propria persoan\u0103, atunci c\u00e2nd cedezi de gura celuilalt.<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n \u00ce\u0163i plac textele Trollywood? Po\u0163i sus\u0163ine \u015fi tu proiectul.<\/p>\n *** Ideea unui acest articol mi-a venit \u00een urma unei interac\u0163iuni recente cu o persoan\u0103 care abia m\u0103 cunoscuse \u00eentr+un context irl, nu citea nici...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":18133,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-18941","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/Stop-Sign.jpg?fit=725%2C488&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18941","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=18941"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18941\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":18945,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18941\/revisions\/18945"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/18133"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=18941"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=18941"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=18941"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}![\"\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea-300x300.jpg?resize=300%2C300\")
<\/a><\/p>\n
\nVrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe Twitter<\/a><\/strong> \u015fi Instagram<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"