Refolosesc inclusiv fotografia, pentru c\u0103, z\u0103u. Modul \u00een care \u00ee\u0219i imagineaz\u0103 unii c\u0103 se face sexul este de natur\u0103 s\u0103 ne dea de podea. \u0218i nu la modul pl\u0103cut.<\/p>\n
Fragmentul cu autor necunoscut vine de pe wallul Monic\u0103i Ramirez \u0219i face mai multe pentru stoparea industriei lactatelor dec\u00e2t speech-ul lui Joaquin Phoenix de la Oscaruri.<\/p>\n
Iat\u0103.<\/p>\n
“\u00cemi doresc s\u0103 intru mai mult, s\u0103 v\u0103d ce se \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103.” Lol. O s\u0103 se deschid\u0103 cerurile \u0219i o s\u0103 c\u00e2nte coruri de heruvimi \u0219i serafimi sau ceva.<\/p>\n Cine vorbe\u0219te a\u0219a?<\/p>\n “\u00cencepe s\u0103-\u021bi plac\u0103?”<\/p>\n E mereu amuzant\u0103 fantezia asta a gigeilor, c\u0103 exist\u0103 o telecomand\u0103 care trece senza\u0163ia de la incomod la fabulos, pac. \u00eentr-o secund\u0103.<\/p>\n \u015ei aici am o recomandare pentru to\u0163i autorii b\u0103rba\u0163i care au preten\u0163ia s\u0103 descrie senza\u0163iile fetei. V\u0103 rog, pentru \u015ftiin\u0163\u0103 \u015fi art\u0103, face\u0163i o dat\u0103 sex anal din ipostaza pasiv\u0103. Basically, lua\u0163i, v\u0103 rog, o pul\u0103 \u00een cur. Lua\u0163i un prieten mai bun, cu care v\u0103 \u00een\u0163elege\u0163i bine \u015fi v\u0103 ajuta\u0163i mai greu, \u015fi zice\u0163i-i pe \u015fleau: B\u0103i, Costel, vreau \u015fi eu s\u0103 descriu o scen\u0103 de sex. Dar femeile din pove\u015ftile mele ies total fake \u015fi se comport\u0103 ca ni\u015fte robo\u0163i primitivi programa\u0163i de un nerd virgin plictisit de lab\u0103. Fute-m\u0103 \u015fi pe mine o dat\u0103 \u00een cur, o singur\u0103 dat\u0103, \u00een scop documentar.<\/p>\n S\u0103 v\u0103 v\u0103d dup\u0103 aceea dac\u0103 mai scrie\u0163i abera\u0163ii de genul “Fute-m\u0103 tare, r\u0103scole\u015fte-m\u0103 cu pula” la numai o secund\u0103 dup\u0103 ce fl\u0103c\u0103ul din poveste a penetrat-o pe domni\u015foar\u0103 \u00een ochiul c\u0103prui al dragostei noastre.<\/p>\n Nu, fra\u0163ilor, nu merge a\u015fa.<\/p>\n Sexul anal necesit\u0103 timp, r\u0103bdare, tone de LUBRIFIANT LICHID.<\/p>\n Mai citi\u0163i o dat\u0103: LUBRIFIANT LICHID.<\/p>\n \u015ei \u00eenc\u0103 o dat\u0103, pentru idio\u0163i: LUBRIFIANT LICHID.<\/p>\n T\u00e2mpenia cu untul a fost ini\u0163iat\u0103 \u00eentr-un film clasic numit “Ultimul tango la Paris”, pentru c\u0103 untul e un ingredient\u00a0 folosit de francezi \u00een aaaabsolut orice. Dar \u00een sexul anal, untul e fix vax. Pentru c\u0103 temperatura la care untul devine fluid este mult mai ridicat\u0103 dec\u00e2t temperatura corpului, iar tu, c\u00e2nd te fu\u0163i \u00een cur, ai nevoie de ceva care s\u0103 lubrifieze pe loc, nu s\u0103 tope\u015fti \u00eent\u00e2i untul la foc mic \u00eentr-o tigaie, c\u0103 face\u0163i sex, nu omelette du fromage.<\/p>\n Dac\u0103 chiar vrei un ingredient de buc\u0103t\u0103rie realist: \u00eencearc\u0103 uleiul de floarea soarelui. \u0102la face c\u00e2t de c\u00e2t un job onorabil. Dar cel mai s\u0103n\u0103tos e s\u0103 mergi la un sex shop \u015fi s\u0103 cumperi un lubrifiant destinat special pentru asta.<\/p>\n Trecem la faza cu pizda care se simte foarte goal\u0103 \u015fi singur\u0103. \u015ei ideea virginilor c\u0103 aceste dou\u0103 orificii sunt ca garsonierele 134 \u015fi 135, dou\u0103 spa\u0163ii vecine separate care \u00ee\u015fi p\u0103streaz\u0103 capacitatea independent unul de altul.<\/p>\n Corpul omenesc NU FUNC\u0162IONEAZ\u0102 A\u015eA, b\u0103i, virginilor. Corpul omenesc e elastic. Dac\u0103 intr\u0103 vizitatori \u00een 134, \u015fi 134 e un spa\u0163iu foarte str\u00e2mt, 134 se va \u00eentinde s\u0103 cuprind\u0103 vizitatorii \u015fi va ocupa \u015fi capacitatea lui 135. Deci nu, pro\u015ftilor, pizda nu se va sim\u0163i foarte goal\u0103 \u015fi singur\u0103, pentru c\u0103 implicit, penetrarea o va stimula \u015fi pe ea, DAC\u0102 – \u015fi insist DAC\u0102\u00a0<\/strong> s-a alocat suficient timp stimul\u0103rii anale.<\/p>\n “Sunt o bomb\u0103, iar m\u0103dularul t\u0103u e fitilul \u015fi arde”.<\/p>\n Din c\u00e2te \u015ftiu, fitilul e ata\u015fat de bomb\u0103 \u015fi e \u00een exterior, plm. Oricum, cine vorbe\u015fte a\u015fa \u00een pat?<\/p>\n “Te-a\u015f primi \u00een\u0103untru \u015fi dac\u0103 ai fi mai gros. \u015ei dac\u0103 ai fi c\u00e2t un trunchi de copac”.<\/p>\n Repet rug\u0103mintea. Cere\u0163i s\u0103 fi\u0163i futu\u0163i \u00een cur. O dat\u0103. O singur\u0103 dat\u0103, s\u0103 ne asigur\u0103m c\u0103 nu mai scrie\u0163i asemenea abjec\u0163ii.<\/p>\n “Te sfredelesc zdrav\u0103n”<\/p>\n S\u0103 moooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooori tu cu m\u0103-ta.<\/p>\n Cred c\u0103 toate gagicile care citesc asta o s\u0103 confirme. E\u015fti \u00een pat cu unu. \u0102la roste\u015fte enun\u0163ul: Te sfredelesc zdrav\u0103n. \u00cen secunda a doua, i-ai ars un c\u0103lc\u00e2i \u00een stomac, s\u0103-l proiectezi direct \u00een strad\u0103, s-o sfredeleasc\u0103 zdrav\u0103n pe m\u0103-sa. CINE VORBE\u015eTE A\u015eA \u00ceN PAT \u015eI DE CE AI FACE-O?<\/p>\n “E de la unt.”<\/p>\n Eu zic c\u0103 e de la excesul de lab\u0103, dar, m\u0103 rog…<\/p>\n “Data viitoare o s\u0103 punem lapte”.<\/p>\n Jur\u0103-te. Ce capacitate de lunecare are laptele? Nada. None. Nincs.<\/p>\n “Cred c\u0103 o s\u0103 simt c\u00e2nd ejaculezi, abdomenul meu simte tot, are nervi peste tot”.<\/p>\n P\u0103i, parc\u0103 o futea \u00een cur. Cum i-a ajuns p\u00e2n\u0103 \u00een abdomen? E ca-n bancul \u0103la cu “Domnule Bul\u0103, so\u0163ia are atingere la pl\u0103m\u00e2ni.” “Vai, mul\u0163umesc, m\u0103 flata\u0163i, domnu’ doctor”.<\/p>\n Dragi virgini,<\/p>\n Dac\u0103 ave\u0163i pula at\u00e2t de mare \u00eenc\u00e2t s\u0103 perforeze peretele abdomenului, chestia asta nu mai e o pl\u0103cere, ci o scen\u0103 dintr-un SF cu mon\u015ftri. \u015ei reac\u0163ia just\u0103 e c\u0103 ea moare \u015fi eventual \u00eenvie \u015fi se transform\u0103 \u00eentr-un zombi r\u0103zbun\u0103tor.<\/p>\n Doi: sim\u0163i c\u00e2nd ejaculeaz\u0103, pentru c\u0103 e un lichid nou. Nu crezi c\u0103 o s\u0103 sim\u0163i, ci sim\u0163i pur \u015fi simplu, \u015fi nu pentru c\u0103 ai nervi peste tot (ca noi to\u0163i de altfel, e cam aiurea s\u0103-i faci lui Gigel lec\u0163ie de anatomie basic c\u00e2nd te fute \u00een cur), ci pentru c\u0103, dac\u0103 apare brusc o cantitate oarecare de substan\u0163\u0103 fluid\u0103, e normal s-o remarci.<\/p>\n Ah, \u015fi remarca final\u0103:<\/p>\n Hai, ejaculeaz\u0103 naibii o dat\u0103 – nu e de bine.<\/p>\n Dac\u0103 cineva v\u0103 cere s\u0103 ejacula\u0163i, fie fute\u0163i prost, fie are programare la dentist.<\/p>\n \u00cen sexul care e reciproc agreabil, femeia are nevoie de mult mai mult\u0103 stimulare \u015fi timp de penetrare propriu-zis\u0103 s\u0103 ajung\u0103 la orgasm. Deci, versiunea verosimil\u0103 e: S\u0103 nu dea dracu s\u0103 ejaculezi acum, c\u0103 nu mai pupi alt futai cu mine.<\/p>\n Practic, recunosc\u00e2nd c\u0103 ea \u00ee\u0163i cere s\u0103 termini naibii mai repede, recuno\u015fti c\u0103 nu ai nici o\u00a0 treab\u0103 cu sexul.<\/p>\n Verdict: acest autor necunoscut a ratat ocazia de a descrie o scen\u0103 de lab\u0103 extrem de autentic\u0103, emo\u0163ionant\u0103 \u015fi plin\u0103 de veridicitate \u015fi nuan\u0163\u0103. Acolo cred c\u0103 e expert.<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n \u00ce\u0163i plac textele Trollywood? Sus\u0163ine \u015fi tu proiectul.<\/p>\n *** ***<\/p>\n Ascult\u0103 Jet pe Spotify<\/a><\/strong>, cump\u0103r\u0103 piesa pe iTunes<\/strong><\/a> sau pe Amazon Music<\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" \u0218i cred c\u0103 rubrica asta o s\u0103 devin\u0103 permanent\u0103, p\u00e2n\u0103 dezobi\u0219nuim virginii s\u0103 descrie scene de sex \u0219i s\u0103 conving\u0103 al\u021bi virgini c\u0103 a\u0219a...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":18773,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-19042","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/sister_shook_james_charles.jpg?fit=750%2C421&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19042","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=19042"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19042\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":19045,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19042\/revisions\/19045"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/18773"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=19042"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=19042"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=19042"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}![\"\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/02\/lol1.jpg?resize=561%2C960&ssl=1\")
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\nVrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe Twitter<\/a><\/strong> \u015fi Instagram<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n