{"id":19188,"date":"2020-03-13T12:13:48","date_gmt":"2020-03-13T09:13:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=19188"},"modified":"2020-03-13T12:13:48","modified_gmt":"2020-03-13T09:13:48","slug":"o-vizita-la-doctor","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/o-vizita-la-doctor\/","title":{"rendered":"O vizit\u0103 la doctor"},"content":{"rendered":"

Pacientul: Bun\u0103 ziua, domnule doctor.<\/p>\n

Doctorul: Ne pare r\u0103u, nu v\u0103 putem primi.<\/p>\n

Pacientul: Cum a\u0219a? Nu vede\u021bi c\u00e2t sunt de bolnav?<\/p>\n

Doctorul: Tocmai! Sunte\u021bi vizibil exagerat de bolnav \u0219i nu avem cum s\u0103 primim o persoan\u0103 at\u00e2t de grav bolnav\u0103.<\/p>\n

Pacientul: Dar nu sunte\u021bi… \u0103\u0103\u0103, medic?<\/p>\n

Doctorul: De ce \u00eencerca\u021bi s\u0103 schimba\u021bi subiectul? Ce rost au atacurile la persoan\u0103? Dac\u0103 sunt medic, ce?<\/p>\n

Pacientul: Domnule, face\u021bi mi\u0219to de mine?<\/p>\n

Doctorul: Deja m\u0103 jigni\u021bi \u0219i reac\u021bionez impulsiv la jigniri. V\u0103 rog frumos s\u0103 pleca\u021bi cu… boala dvs.<\/p>\n

Pacientul: \u0218i unde s\u0103 se duc\u0103 un om bolnav, dac\u0103 nu la medic?<\/p>\n

Doctorul: Dar de sunt eu, domnule, ghid turistic, s\u0103 v\u0103 spun unde s\u0103 v\u0103 duce\u021bi? Nu vre\u021bi s\u0103 v\u0103 povestesc \u0219i istoria ora\u0219ului, de la prima atestare documentar\u0103? V\u0103 duce\u021bi unde crede\u021bi \u0219i unde vre\u021bi, dar nu aici, c\u0103 sunte\u021bi bolnav.<\/p>\n

Pacientul: P\u0103i, dac\u0103 nu primi\u021bi oameni bolnavi, pe cine primi\u021bi?<\/p>\n

Doctorul: Hai, c\u0103 v\u0103 \u00eentrece\u021bi cu tupeul. Nu vre\u021bi \u0219i raport de activitate pe anul \u00een curs? Eventual declara\u021bie de avere? V\u0103 rog frumos s\u0103 pleca\u021bi, sau chem paza.<\/p>\n

Pacientul: Domnule, sunte\u021bi medic, eu sunt bolnav, trata\u021bi-m\u0103!!<\/p>\n

Doctorul: C\u0103 vrei tu?<\/p>\n

Pacientul: A, deja ne tutuim? Nu, nu c\u0103 vreau eu. C\u0103 pl\u0103tesc abonament aici din 2015.<\/p>\n

Doctorul: A, mai e\u0219ti \u0219i un p\u00e2rlit de abonat. M\u0103car dac\u0103 veneai cu banii jos, discutam altfel. Dar vii tu, un fomist, s\u0103 ne spui c\u0103 meri\u021bi aten\u021bia noastr\u0103, pentru trei firfirei pe lun\u0103.<\/p>\n

Pacientul: Ceeeee? C\u00e2nd am f\u0103cut abonamentul, a\u021bi garantat servicii complete…<\/p>\n

Doctorul: Amice, eu nu \u021bi-am garantat \u021bie nimic. Gata, nu mai contamina aerul pe aici. Pleac\u0103.<\/p>\n

Pacientul: Dar sunt bolnav!!<\/p>\n

Doctorul: Da, tocmai! Exact de aceea avem nevoie s\u0103 ie\u0219i de aici! De c\u00e2te ori e cazul s\u0103 \u021bi se repete?<\/p>\n

Pacientul: Am nevoie de tratament, nu pot pleca a\u0219a!<\/p>\n

Doctorul: Uite num\u0103rul unui psiholog bun. \u00cel suni, te programezi frumos \u0219i-i poveste\u0219ti nevoile tale. Explora\u021bi \u00eempreun\u0103 traumele din copil\u0103rie \u0219i descoperi\u021bi de unde vin. \u0218i cu asta, la revedere.<\/p>\n

Pacientul: E inadmi…<\/p>\n

Paza: Aici e persoana dificil\u0103, care face probleme?<\/p>\n

Pacientul: Da, avem un doctor care nu vrea s\u0103 trateze bolnavi, de\u0219i au abonament.<\/p>\n

Paza: Haha, avem \u0219i glume \u00een program. Domnule, e un bar peste drum. Au open mic la stand up comedy de la 8 seara. Hai s\u0103 ne desp\u0103r\u021bim prieteni, ce zice\u021bi? V\u0103 conduc prietene\u0219te la ie\u0219ire, v\u0103 salut cordial…<\/p>\n

Pacientul: V\u0103 bate\u021bi joc de un om bolnav!<\/p>\n

Paza: Nu. Domnu’ doctor aicea v-a spus omene\u015fte c\u0103 nu prime\u015fte bolnavi, iar dumneavoastr\u0103 insista\u0163i. N-a\u0163i auzit de consim\u0163\u0103m\u00e2nt? De-aia am murit noi la #metoo? Hai, o zi bun\u0103 \u015fi mult\u0103 s\u0103n\u0103tate!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Text inspirat din realitate. Iat\u0103.\u00a0<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u00ce\u0163i plac textele Trollywood? Sus\u0163ine \u015fi tu proiectul.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

***
\nVrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe Twitter<\/a><\/strong> \u015fi Instagram<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

Ascult\u0103 Jet pe Spotify<\/a><\/strong>, cump\u0103r\u0103 piesa pe iTunes<\/strong><\/a> sau pe Amazon Music<\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Pacientul: Bun\u0103 ziua, domnule doctor. Doctorul: Ne pare r\u0103u, nu v\u0103 putem primi. Pacientul: Cum a\u0219a? Nu vede\u021bi c\u00e2t sunt de bolnav? Doctorul: Tocmai!...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":19189,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-19188","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/doc.jpg?fit=640%2C423&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19188","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=19188"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19188\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":19190,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19188\/revisions\/19190"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/19189"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=19188"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=19188"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=19188"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}