{"id":19355,"date":"2020-04-12T13:44:42","date_gmt":"2020-04-12T10:44:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=19355"},"modified":"2020-04-12T13:44:42","modified_gmt":"2020-04-12T10:44:42","slug":"falnica-si-neasemuita-legenda-a-pxlelor-maturi","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/falnica-si-neasemuita-legenda-a-pxlelor-maturi\/","title":{"rendered":"Falnica \u015fi neasemuita legend\u0103 a pxlelor – m\u0103turi"},"content":{"rendered":"

De la ce ne-am luat: \u00een Ardealul central am auzit prima oar\u0103 sublima expresie p*le-m\u0103turi. De obicei sub form\u0103 de \u00een\u015firuiri: X f\u0103cea \u015fi asta, \u015fi aia, \u015fi p*le-m\u0103turi. Uneori, de bine, ca un extra bonus la ceea ce f\u0103cea X, uneori de r\u0103u: nu numai c\u0103 f\u0103cea X, Z \u0219i Z, dar mai f\u0103cea \u0219i p*le-m\u0103turi, po\u021bi s\u0103-\u021bi imaginezi una ca asta? <\/p>\n

\u0218i pentru c\u0103 primul capital al unui artist este imagina\u021bia, am hot\u0103r\u00e2t s\u0103 creez Falica \u0219i neasemuita legend\u0103 a p^lelor-m\u0103turi. <\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

A fost o dat\u0103 ca niciodat\u0103, c\u0103 de n-ar fi fost, nu s-ar fi povestit, un \u00eemp\u0103rat fastuos \u015fi fabulos, cum n-a fost altul de la ultimul basm al lui Petre Ispirescu \u00eencoace. Avea o \u00eemp\u0103r\u0103\u0163ie bogat\u0103 \u015fi \u00eembel\u015fugat\u0103, pace \u015fi lini\u015fte, o via\u0163\u0103 de curte tumultuoas\u0103 \u015fi intens melodramatic\u0103, pe scurt, bifa toate datele fericirii din pove\u015fti. <\/p>\n

\u00centr-o zi, \u00een timp ce pescuia el pe malul lacului special amenajat \u015fi umplut din timp cu pe\u015fti fl\u0103m\u00e2nzi, s\u0103-i dea st\u0103p\u00e2nului senza\u0163ia fals\u0103 c\u0103 exceleaz\u0103 \u00een domeniu, sim\u0163i c\u0103 undi\u0163a se \u00eendoaie de greutatea capturii. Se bucur\u0103 \u00een g\u00e2nd, la ideea c\u0103 va avea un pe\u015fte imens, s\u0103 fac\u0103 poz\u0103 cu el \u015fi s-o pun\u0103 pe Face… – pardon, voiam s\u0103 spun s\u0103 ordone pictorilor cur\u0163ii s-o fac\u0103 tablou. <\/p>\n

Trase cu hot\u0103r\u00e2re \u00eemp\u0103r\u0103teasc\u0103 \u015fi, \u00eencet-\u00eencet, scoase prada din ap\u0103. Uimire. Nu era un pe\u015fte. Era o ciubot\u0103 veche de osta\u015f.
\nSup\u0103rat c\u0103 lacul lui \u00eemp\u0103r\u0103tesc devenise destina\u0163ia pentru asemenea obiecte imunde \u015fi profane, \u00eemp\u0103ratul ordon\u0103 slugilor s\u0103 ia ciubota, s-o plimbe prin toat\u0103 \u00eemp\u0103r\u0103\u0163ia \u015fi s\u0103 identifice nemernicul purt\u0103tor. Dup\u0103 aceea, f\u0103pta\u015ful s\u0103 fie sp\u00e2nzurat de piciorul de pe care \u00eendr\u0103znise s\u0103 lepede ordinara \u00eenc\u0103l\u0163\u0103minte \u00een lacul \u00eemp\u0103r\u0103tesc \u015fi l\u0103sat \u00een voia elementelor p\u00e2n\u0103 murea lent \u015fi \u00een chinuri. <\/p>\n

Slugile se supuser\u0103. Luar\u0103 armata la purecat, om cu om, cet\u0103\u0163ean cu persoan\u0103, \u015fi \u00een cele din urm\u0103, \u00eel g\u0103sir\u0103 pe o\u015fteanul Ion P\u0103lma\u015fu, faima r\u0103zboaielor. \u00cel luar\u0103 pe sus, \u00eel aruncar\u0103 \u00een cea mai neagr\u0103 temni\u0163\u0103, \u015fi se preg\u0103tir\u0103 de teribila condamnare. Aceasta urma s\u0103 se desf\u0103\u015foare a doua zi, \u00een pia\u0163a public\u0103, s\u0103 se \u00eenve\u0163e minte tot norodul, \u015fi tot nerodul din norod, c\u0103 dac\u0103 arunci cu c\u0103cat \u00een \u00eemp\u0103ratul t\u0103u, c\u0103cat vei ajunge.
\nValabil \u015fi pentru haterii acestui site.
\nDar divaghez. <\/p>\n

A doua zi, \u00een pia\u0163a public\u0103, se adunase popula\u0163ie, c\u00e2t\u0103 frunz\u0103 \u015fi iarb\u0103, s\u0103 tot \u00eempr\u0103\u015ftii zece tulpini diferite de coronavirus. Pas\u0103mite, \u00eenc\u0103 nu exista Netflix, jocurile video nu fuseser\u0103 inventate, sexul era interzis prin lege dac\u0103 nu voiai al \u015faisprezecelea copil, \u015fi atunci, singurele dou\u0103 distrac\u0163ii erau amorul \u00een cealalt\u0103 gaur\u0103 \u015fi execu\u0163iile publice. <\/p>\n

Pe c\u00e2nd o\u015ftenii se preg\u0103teau s\u0103 ridice de\u0163inutul \u00een furie, se auzi o voce disperat\u0103. <\/p>\n

-Nuuuu. M\u0103ria ta, nu m\u00e2nia zeii \u015fi elemen\u0163ii. De la calorifer. <\/p>\n

\u00cemp\u0103ratul \u00ee\u015fi lu\u0103 privirea de la execu\u0163ie \u015fi se uit\u0103 impacientat s\u0103 vad\u0103 cine-l deranjeaz\u0103. Era o siluet\u0103 \u00eenalt\u0103, \u00een pelerin\u0103 neagr\u0103. \u00ce\u015fi croi drum prin mul\u0163ime, se apropie de \u00eemp\u0103rat \u015fi zise: <\/p>\n

-Sunt mama lui Ion P\u0103lma\u015fu. Nu-mi ucide fiul. Viteazul Ion P\u0103lma\u015fu n-ar arunca niciodat\u0103 ciubote \u00een lacul \u00eemp\u0103r\u0103tesc, mai ales c\u0103 n-are bani de altele. <\/p>\n

-Cum \u00eendr\u0103zne\u015fti, femeie? se zburli \u00eemp\u0103ratul. Vrei s\u0103 spui c\u0103 nu-mi pl\u0103tesc generos armata, ca un \u00eemp\u0103rat darnic \u015fi bun. <\/p>\n

-Da da, M\u0103ria Ta, foarte generos. Numai c\u0103 Ion al meu d\u0103 to\u0163i banii la v\u0103duve \u015fi orfani \u015fi nu-i r\u0103m\u00e2ne de ciubote. <\/p>\n

-\u015ei cine a vrut s\u0103 \u00eennegreasc\u0103 numele unui om at\u00e2t de bun? vru s\u0103 \u015ftie \u00eemp\u0103ratul. <\/p>\n

-V\u0103duva celor trei boieri, M\u0103ria Ta. <\/p>\n

\u00cemp\u0103ratul auzise de V\u0103duva celor trei boieri. O femeie extrem de frumoas\u0103, care se m\u0103ritase cu trei boieri, \u015fi la scurt timp, to\u0163i trei muriser\u0103,iar ea \u00eei mo\u015ftenise pe to\u0163i trei. Se zvonea c\u0103 era o vr\u0103jitoare atotputernic\u0103, \u015fi le r\u0103pise min\u0163ile bie\u0163ilor boieri cu te miri ce vr\u0103ji, apoi supsese via\u0163a din ei, s\u0103 se adauge la num\u0103rul ei total de vie\u0163i. <\/p>\n

-P\u0103i \u015fi ce nevoie are V\u0103duva celor trei boieri de banii lui fi-tu, \u00eentreb\u0103 \u00eemp\u0103ratul. <\/p>\n

-Pe ea nu cu bani a ajutat-o, M\u0103ria Ta. <\/p>\n

-Dar cu ce? <\/p>\n

-Cu… munc\u0103 prin gospod\u0103rie. V\u0103duva celor Trei Boieri are gospod\u0103rie mare \u015fi trebuie muncit\u0103 de diminea\u0163a p\u00e2n\u0103 seara. <\/p>\n

-\u015ei n-are servitori pentru asta? <\/p>\n

Femeia \u00eencruci\u015f\u0103 bra\u0163ele \u015fi se uit\u0103 la \u00eemp\u0103ratul nostru ca la un t\u00e2mpit. Brusc, \u00eemp\u0103ratul \u00een\u0163elese. <\/p>\n

-\u015ei unde era problema? <\/p>\n

-Problema era c\u0103 Ion al meu mai avea \u015fi armat\u0103. E greu s\u0103 dai toat\u0103 vlaga din tine \u00een gospod\u0103ria V\u0103duvei \u015fi apoi s\u0103 faci \u015fi serviciu militar. \u015ei V\u0103duva era din ce \u00een ce mai nemul\u0163umit\u0103. <\/p>\n

-\u015ei de-asta l-a pedepsit? <\/p>\n

-De-asta, M\u0103ria Ta. C\u0103 Ion n-a mai vrut s\u0103 se duc\u0103 p\u00e2n\u0103 la ea, \u015fi atunci, V\u0103duva a venit, c\u0103lare pe m\u0103tur\u0103, i-a furat ciubota \u015fi a disp\u0103rut. Peste dou\u0103 zile, ciubota s-a g\u0103sit \u00een lac. <\/p>\n

-Nu era m\u0103tur\u0103, gemu cu nespus\u0103 suferin\u0163\u0103 condamnatul. <\/p>\n

Baliverne, decise \u00eemp\u0103ratul. Executa\u0163i-l. <\/p>\n

\u015ei c\u0103l\u0103ii nemilo\u015fi urmar\u0103 ordinul. <\/p>\n

* <\/p>\n

Peste exact trei zile \u015fi trei nop\u0163i, un drume\u0163 singuratic b\u0103tu la poarta palatului unde s\u0103l\u0103\u015fluia V\u0103duva celor trei boieri. <\/p>\n

-Sunt un c\u0103l\u0103tor fl\u0103m\u00e2nd \u015fi \u00eenfometat, caut un col\u0163 de p\u00e2ine \u015fi unul \u00een care s\u0103-mi odihnesc oscioarele. <\/p>\n

Slugile \u015fu\u015fotir\u0103 \u00eentre ele, apoi, una plec\u0103 s\u0103 cear\u0103 permisiunea st\u0103p\u00e2nei. Restul intrar\u0103 politicos \u00een vorb\u0103: <\/p>\n

-Unde mergi, om bun?
\n-P\u00e2n\u0103 \u00een cel\u0103lalt cap\u0103t al p\u0103m\u00e2ntului.
\n-\u015ei nu ai unde s\u0103 te opre\u015fti \u00een alt\u0103 parte?
\n-E departe \u015fi se las\u0103 npaptea.
\n-E pentru binele t\u0103u. St\u0103p\u00e2na… <\/p>\n

Deodat\u0103, se auzir\u0103 pa\u015fi. Pa\u015fii celui care plecase: <\/p>\n

-St\u0103p\u00e2na te prime\u015fte. <\/p>\n

O slujitoare b\u0103tr\u00e2n\u0103 \u00eei a\u015fez\u0103 un blid de m\u00e2ncare cald\u0103 \u00een fa\u0163\u0103 \u015fi \u00eei turn\u0103 vin \u00een pocal. Drume\u0163ul m\u00e2nc\u0103 pe s\u0103turate, singur \u00een sala cea mare de ospe\u0163e. \u00cen secunda \u00een care \u00eenghi\u0163i ultimul dumicat, u\u015fa se deschise \u015fi \u00een\u0103untru p\u0103\u015fi chiar frumoasa v\u0103duv\u0103. V\u0103z\u00e2nd-o, drume\u0163ul sc\u0103p\u0103 pocalul pe jos. <\/p>\n

-Mul\u0163umesc pentru g\u0103zduire, Doamn\u0103. <\/p>\n

-Pentru extrem de pu\u0163in, r\u0103spunse V\u0103duva, \u00eel examin\u0103 atent din cap p\u00e2n\u0103-n picioare, apoi \u00eei \u00eentinse o m\u00e2n\u0103 alb\u0103 \u015fi rece. Suntem foarte singuri pe aici \u015fi ne bucur\u0103m de companie. <\/p>\n

-Pl\u0103cerea companiei e de partea mea, Doamn\u0103, \u015fopti drume\u0163ul pierdut \u015fi \u00ee\u015fi lipi buzele de m\u00e2na V\u0103duvei. <\/p>\n

-Baia cald\u0103 v\u0103 a\u015fteapt\u0103, s\u0103 v\u0103 dezmor\u0163i\u0163i dup\u0103 oboseala drumului. Apoi, v\u0103 invit la un pahar de vin \u00een cabinetul meu particular, spuse ea. <\/p>\n

-Cu… cea mai mare pl\u0103cere. <\/p>\n

V\u0103duva \u00eenclin\u0103 din cap \u015fi ie\u015fi. <\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

-Trebuie neap\u0103rat s\u0103 pleca\u0163i mai departe? \u00eentreb\u0103 V\u0103duva, dup\u0103 trei zile \u015fi trei nop\u0163i \u00een care c\u0103l\u0103torul nu apucase s\u0103 p\u0103r\u0103seasc\u0103 apartamentele ei particulare. <\/p>\n

-Din p\u0103cate, frumoasa mea, nu am de ales. Am \u00eennoptat pentru o noapte, am r\u0103mas trei, dar treburile nu se mai pot am\u00e2na. <\/p>\n

Privirea V\u0103duvei se schimb\u0103. <\/p>\n

-Acesta este r\u0103spunsul final? Nu vre\u0163i s\u0103 suna\u0163i un prieten sau s\u0103 \u00eentreba\u0163i publicul? <\/p>\n

-Am treab\u0103 ce nu sufer\u0103 am\u00e2nare, oric\u00e2t a\u015f vrea. <\/p>\n

V\u0103duva \u00eentinse un deget spre el. Din deget se r\u0103sp\u00e2ndi o raz\u0103 luminoas\u0103 violet\u0103 care \u00eel f\u0103cu pe vizitator s\u0103 cad\u0103 lat la podea. <\/p>\n

-M\u0103ria Ta, te credeam mai de\u015ftept. Am mereu o sl\u0103biciune fa\u0163\u0103 de monarhi, zise V\u0103duva. Apoi b\u0103tu de trei ori \u00een palme. <\/p>\n

Ap\u0103ru un prichindel coco\u015fat cu foarfeci fantasmagorice \u00een m\u00e2n\u0103.<\/p>\n

+\u00cenc\u0103 o m\u0103tur\u0103, doamna mea? <\/p>\n

-Ce altceva? Dar taie mai de la r\u0103d\u0103cin\u0103, s\u0103 fie lung\u0103. <\/p>\n

Prichindelul ezit\u0103: <\/p>\n

-Doamn\u0103, dar avem deja 1300 de m\u0103turi. <\/p>\n

-\u015ei o s\u0103 mai avem dou\u0103, dac\u0103 nu faci ce \u00ee\u0163i ordon! <\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

\u00cemp\u0103ratul se trezi \u00een colbul drumului, gem\u00e2nd a durere acut\u0103 de cap. Se ridic\u0103 \u00een \u00eemp\u0103r\u0103tescu-i fund, \u00eencerc\u00e2nd s\u0103 opreasc\u0103 stolul de p\u0103s\u0103rele care-i ciripeau \u00een jurul craniului monarhic. Mi\u0219carea \u00eei induse o durere nou\u0103, nea\u0219teptat\u0103, \u00een zona \u00een care. \u00cen zona \u00een care trebuia s\u0103 fie imperialul m\u0103dular. Trebuia s\u0103 fie. Dar nu era. <\/p>\n

\u0218i \u00ee\u0219i aminti cu groaz\u0103. \u00ce\u0219i aminti cu groaz\u0103 c\u0103 nu-\u0219i amintea nimic. Doar c\u0103 se preg\u0103tise s\u0103 plece \u0219i \u00eel lovise ceva, nu se \u0219tie de unde. <\/p>\n

Porni furios \u00eenapoi spre capital\u0103. <\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

-Arde\u021bi palatul scorpiei, ordon\u0103 \u00eemp\u0103ratul. Turna\u021bi petrol de jur-\u00eemprejur, \u0219i da\u021bi-i foc, s\u0103 moar\u0103 vr\u0103jitoarea nebun\u0103 \u0219i to\u021bi acoli\u021bii ei.
\n-Nu mai bine facem o judecat\u0103 dreapt\u0103? \u00eentreb\u0103 sfetnicul b\u0103tr\u00e2n \u0219i \u00een\u021belept. S\u0103 vedem \u0219i noi ce a p\u0103c\u0103tuit.
\n-NU! se \u00eenfoie \u00eemp\u0103ratul. Eu sunt \u00eemp\u0103ratul \u0219i eu spun ce facem!
\nZis \u0219i f\u0103cut. \u00cen miez de noapte, slugile se strecurar\u0103, turnar\u0103 petrol de jur-\u00eemprejur \u0219i d\u0103dur\u0103 foc. Fl\u0103c\u0103rile se \u00een\u0103l\u021bar\u0103 p\u00e2n\u0103 la cer. <\/p>\n

\u00cemp\u0103ratul se trezi brusc cu ni\u0219te usturimi de nedescris.
\n-Aaaaa. M\u0103 doare tot corpul. Aaaa, s\u0103 vin\u0103 un doctor. Aaaaa. <\/p>\n

Pe la patul \u00eemp\u0103r\u0103tesc se perindar\u0103 to\u021bi medicii, to\u021bi savan\u021bii, to\u021bi vracii \u0219i, \u00een cele din urm\u0103, ap\u0103ru o bab\u0103 ur\u00e2t\u0103 ca moartea. <\/p>\n

-\u00ce\u021bi dau toat\u0103 \u00eemp\u0103r\u0103\u021bia, numai vindec\u0103-m\u0103, gemu \u00eemp\u0103ratul.
\n-Toat\u0103-toat\u0103? \u00eentreb\u0103 baba. Cu acte la notar \u0219i all that jazz?
\n-Da.
\n-Perfect. Dar o vreau \u00eenainte, c\u0103 nu am \u00eencredere \u00een promisiunile unor oameni gata vindeca\u021bi.
\nZis \u0219i f\u0103cut. Papirusul frumos, cu \u0219tampil\u0103 imperial\u0103 de cear\u0103, consfin\u021bea c\u0103, \u00een caz de vindecare, proprietatea \u00eemp\u0103r\u0103\u021bie 1 se transfer\u0103 de la subsemnatul \u00eemp\u0103rat la subsemnata h\u00e2rc\u0103. <\/p>\n

Baba puse cu grij\u0103 documentul \u00een traist\u0103 \u0219i scoase globul de cristal. Plimb\u0103 degetele lungi \u0219i noduroase peste el. Globul ar\u0103t\u0103 fl\u0103c\u0103rile din jurul palatului V\u0103duvei. Brusc, la poarta cea mare, ap\u0103ru \u00eens\u0103\u0219i ipochimena, cu o m\u0103tur\u0103 \u00een m\u00e2ini. Se sui pe ea \u0219i \u00eencepu s\u0103 zboare din ce \u00een ce mai repede \u00een jurul fl\u0103c\u0103rilor. Apoi, o arunc\u0103 \u00een foc, \u0219i \u00een momentul c\u00e2nd v\u0103zu acest gest, \u00eemp\u0103ratul \u00een\u021belese. Fu cuprins de un nou val de durere, a\u0219a, placebo. <\/p>\n

-Era vorba s\u0103 m\u0103 vindeci, nu s\u0103 m\u0103 oftici \u0219i mai tare, m\u00e2r\u00e2i el.
\n-Te vindec, zise baba. Scoase din aceea\u0219i traist\u0103 o l\u0103di\u021b\u0103. O deschise. De\u0219ert\u0103 cenu\u0219a din ea \u00een pocalul de vin de pe mas\u0103 \u0219i-l \u00eentinse \u00eemp\u0103ratului. <\/p>\n

-Bea! <\/p>\n

De cum b\u0103u, o nou\u0103 putere \u00eei str\u0103b\u0103tu organismul \u0219i se pomeni intact \u0219i nev\u0103t\u0103mat, ca \u00een zilele fericite de dinainte s-o fi cunoscut pe V\u0103duv\u0103. Se \u00eentoarse spre bab\u0103. <\/p>\n

-\u0218tii, m\u0103tu\u0219\u0103, eu am glumit cu actul \u0103la de dona\u021bie. <\/p>\n

-\u00cen regul\u0103, zise baba. \u0218i eu am glumit cu vindecarea. <\/p>\n

F\u0103cu poc din degete \u0219i brusc, imperialul m\u0103dular se desprinse, se transform\u0103 \u00eentr-o m\u0103tur\u0103 lung\u0103, veche \u0219i plin\u0103 de a\u0219chii, iar baba, \u00een V\u0103duva Celor Trei Boieri. Se sui pe m\u0103tur\u0103, f\u0103cu un semn cu degetul spre geamurile \u00eemp\u0103r\u0103te\u0219ti, care se deschiser\u0103 larg, \u0219i se dep\u0103rt\u0103 \u00een zbor. <\/p>\n

-Aaauuu\u00ee\u00ee\u00eehhhhhrrrrr, gemu \u00eemp\u0103ratul, cuprins din nou de dureri. <\/p>\n

-De ce a trebuit s\u0103 dai \u021beap\u0103 vindec\u0103toarei, M\u0103ria ta? vru s\u0103 \u0219tie sfetnicul b\u0103tr\u00e2n \u0219i \u00een\u021belept. <\/p>\n

-Aaauuu\u00ee\u00ee\u00eehrrauauauuu. Pentru c\u0103 auuuuuuuiiiiii\u00ee\u00ee\u00eeuuu eu sunt \u00eemp\u0103rat. Nu am \u00ee\u00ee\u00eeaaaauuu calificare pentru alte meserii. F\u0103r\u0103 auuuu\u00ee\u00ee\u00eeuuuuuoooo poate tr\u0103i oricine, dar f\u0103r\u0103 vistierie, mai greu. Aaaaa\u00ee\u00ee\u00ee\u00eeuuuu. <\/p>\n

THE END. <\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

Dac\u0103 \u00ee\u0163i place acest blog, ai avut vreodat\u0103 inten\u0163ia s\u0103-l sus\u0163ii dar ai tot am\u00e2nat, acum ar fi un moment foarte bun.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

***
\nVrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe Twitter<\/a><\/strong> \u015fi Instagram<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

Ascult\u0103 Jet pe Spotify<\/a><\/strong>, cump\u0103r\u0103 piesa pe iTunes<\/strong><\/a> sau pe Amazon Music<\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\n

”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

De la ce ne-am luat: \u00een Ardealul central am auzit prima oar\u0103 sublima expresie p*le-m\u0103turi. De obicei sub form\u0103 de \u00een\u015firuiri: X f\u0103cea \u015fi...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":10651,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-19355","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/pana.jpg?fit=2800%2C2463&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19355","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=19355"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19355\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":19360,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19355\/revisions\/19360"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/10651"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=19355"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=19355"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=19355"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}