{"id":19469,"date":"2020-05-02T10:57:23","date_gmt":"2020-05-02T07:57:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=19469"},"modified":"2020-05-02T23:41:53","modified_gmt":"2020-05-02T20:41:53","slug":"haideti-sa-vorbim-in-sfarsit-despre-iumor","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/haideti-sa-vorbim-in-sfarsit-despre-iumor\/","title":{"rendered":"Haide\u021bi s\u0103 vorbim \u00een sf\u00e2r\u0219it despre iUmor"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Voiam s\u0103 scriu acest material dup\u0103 ce ie\u0219im din carantin\u0103 \u0219i filmez un videoclip care s\u0103 arate c\u0103 am dreptate cu ceea ce spun, s\u0103 nu par\u0103 c\u0103 \u00eemi pl\u00e2ng de mil\u0103 degeaba. Dar cum, \u00een carantin\u0103, p\u00e2n\u0103 \u0219i Meryl Streep face momente artistice la ea acas\u0103, film\u00e2ndu-se cu mobilul, \u0219i \u00ee\u0219i asum\u0103 absen\u021ba condi\u021biilor tehnice,\u00a0 acest text se va scrie ACUM, C\u00c2ND E CAZUL.<\/p>\n<p>V-a\u021bi strecurat c\u00e2\u021biva \u00een mesajele mele private s\u0103 m\u0103 comp\u0103timi\u021bi c\u0103 mi-a ie\u0219it prost momentul de la iUmor. Vreo doi trei a\u021bi triumfat c\u0103 maaaam\u0103 ce te-ai ars la iUmor.<\/p>\n<p>Ca de obicei, eu nu m\u0103 declar responsabil\u0103 dec\u00e2t de buna mea credin\u021b\u0103 \u0219i calitatea materialului livrat de mine. Nu controlez regie, montaj, editare, \u0219i mai ales, nu controlez\u00a0<strong>ce \u00eencearc\u0103 un show s\u0103 fac\u0103 pentru rating.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Dar e o \u021bar\u0103 liber\u0103, so, pot povesti experien\u021ba. \u0218i, mai presus de toate, pot ar\u0103ta cum era materialul pe care l-am prezentat, f\u0103r\u0103 montajul care s\u0103-l fac\u0103 cringy, f\u0103r\u0103 mutre dezgustate, aere de superioritate nejustificat\u0103 \u0219i fi\u021be de privilegia\u021bi pe care i-au luat televiziunile \u00een bra\u021be, au salarii de mii de euro, \u00ee\u0219i pot permite luxul s\u0103 refuze un contract de sponsorizare \u0219i n-au tr\u0103it o zi din vie\u021bi\u0219oarele lor flau\u015fate, \u00eentreb\u00e2ndu-se cu ce vor pl\u0103ti chiria.<\/p>\n<p>*<\/p>\n<p>S-o lu\u0103m cu \u00eenceputul.<\/p>\n<p>Acum c\u00e2teva luni, am primit invita\u021bie s\u0103 mai particip o dat\u0103 la iUmor.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/Captur%C4%83-ecran-227-e1588357590607.png?ssl=1\" data-rel=\"lightbox-image-0\" data-rl_title=\"\" data-rl_caption=\"\" title=\"\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-19471\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/Captur%C4%83-ecran-227-e1588357590607.png?resize=498%2C286&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" width=\"498\" height=\"286\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/Captur%C4%83-ecran-227-e1588357590607.png?w=498&amp;ssl=1 498w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/Captur%C4%83-ecran-227-e1588357590607.png?resize=150%2C86&amp;ssl=1 150w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/Captur%C4%83-ecran-227-e1588357590607.png?resize=300%2C172&amp;ssl=1 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 498px) 100vw, 498px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Nu aveam nici un motiv s\u0103 refuz. P\u00e2n\u0103 acum, avusesem colabor\u0103ri ok cu Antena, \u0219i chiar la edi\u021bia trecut\u0103 de iUmor, unde m\u0103 prezentasem cu o glum\u0103 cu adev\u0103rat grosolan\u0103, mai ales &#8220;pentru o femeie&#8221;,\u00a0 cea cu juc\u0103riile, a fost ok.<\/p>\n<p>De data asta, am zis s\u0103 ofer ceva mai elaborat \u015fi mai complex. Am pornit de la piesa lui Serge Gainsbourg \u015fi Jane Birkin, Je t&#8217;aime, moi non plus.<\/p>\n<div class=\"video-container\"><span class=\"embed-youtube\" style=\"text-align:center; display: block;\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" class=\"youtube-player\" width=\"700\" height=\"394\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/GlpDf6XX_j0?version=3&#038;rel=1&#038;showsearch=0&#038;showinfo=1&#038;iv_load_policy=1&#038;fs=1&#038;hl=en-US&#038;autohide=2&#038;wmode=transparent\" allowfullscreen=\"true\" style=\"border:0;\" sandbox=\"allow-scripts allow-same-origin allow-popups allow-presentation allow-popups-to-escape-sandbox\"><\/iframe><\/span><\/div>\n<p>M-am \u00eemp\u0103r\u0163it \u00een dou\u0103, ea \u015fi el, am scris versurile fiec\u0103rui partener \u015fi am transformat-o \u00eentr-o balad\u0103 de hookup contemporan, CF. Adic\u0103 exact ce ur\u0103\u0103\u0103\u0103\u0103sc eu s\u0103 primesc pe messenger.<\/p>\n<p>M-am prezentat la filmare la data stabilit\u0103.<\/p>\n<p>\u00cenc\u0103 \u00een repeti\u0163ia de lumini mi-a atras aten\u0163ia o prieten\u0103 c\u0103 nu m\u0103 aud \u015fi am microfonul dat foarte \u00eencet.. Ar fi trebuit s\u0103 fie un semnal de alarm\u0103, dar\u00a0 nu m-am prins c\u0103 ceva nu e ok, am vorbit cu tehnicianul \u015fi l-a dat tare.<\/p>\n<p>Mbun.<\/p>\n<p>Din secunda \u00een care am intrat \u00een scen\u0103, toat\u0103 lumea a \u00eenceput s\u0103 urasc\u0103. Crunt. Vede\u0163i versiunea Antenei. De cum apar, to\u0163i au sentimente. S\u0103 compar\u0103m asta cu un show\u00a0 obi\u015fnuit.\u00a0 C\u00e2nd intri pe orice scen\u0103 din lume &#8211; m\u0103 refer la una normal\u0103, cu privitori neutri, oric\u00e2t de prost ai fi, lumea nu \u00eencepe s\u0103 urasc\u0103 straight away. \u00cent\u00e2i vede despre ce e vorba.<\/p>\n<p>Atunci, pe scen\u0103, am \u00een\u0163eles.<\/p>\n<p>De fapt.<\/p>\n<p>De ce m\u0103 chemaser\u0103.<\/p>\n<p>Am avut un val de hate vara trecut\u0103, de la tot internetul, pentru Femeile independente. A urmat un alt val de hate pentru Jet. Realmente, \u0103\u015ftia m\u0103 chemaser\u0103 s\u0103 instige valul de hate cu num\u0103rul trei. M\u0103 puteam duce cu o compila\u0163ie din\u00a0 Life of Brian, \u015fi efectul ar fi fost acela\u015fi.<\/p>\n<p>Montajul lor e pe YouTube. \u015ei e a\u015fa. Urm\u0103ri\u0163i ce face Bendeac tot num\u0103rul, urm\u0103ri\u0163i editarea aberant\u0103, unghiurile dezavantajante \u015fi modul \u00een care \u00ee\u0163i poveste\u015fte toat\u0103 lumea ce oribil\u0103 sunt eu, iar \u015fi iar.<\/p>\n<div class=\"video-container\"><span class=\"embed-youtube\" style=\"text-align:center; display: block;\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" class=\"youtube-player\" width=\"700\" height=\"394\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/o1aWGPZjpIY?version=3&#038;rel=1&#038;showsearch=0&#038;showinfo=1&#038;iv_load_policy=1&#038;fs=1&#038;hl=en-US&#038;autohide=2&#038;start=128&#038;wmode=transparent\" allowfullscreen=\"true\" style=\"border:0;\" sandbox=\"allow-scripts allow-same-origin allow-popups allow-presentation allow-popups-to-escape-sandbox\"><\/iframe><\/span><\/div>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Acum, iat\u0103 versiunea integral\u0103,\u00a0 tras\u0103 cu mobilul pus pe geam, f\u0103r\u0103 sonorizare, f\u0103r\u0103 microfon, f\u0103r\u0103 lumini, \u00een propria-mi buc\u0103t\u0103rie, pe YouTube-ul meu. Dac\u0103 mari actori interna\u0163ionali pot face spectacol la ei \u00een buc\u0103t\u0103rie, cine suntem noi s\u0103 o ardem mai presus?<\/p>\n<div class=\"video-container\"><span class=\"embed-youtube\" style=\"text-align:center; display: block;\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" class=\"youtube-player\" width=\"700\" height=\"394\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/D1RcSmHV6KY?version=3&#038;rel=1&#038;showsearch=0&#038;showinfo=1&#038;iv_load_policy=1&#038;fs=1&#038;hl=en-US&#038;autohide=2&#038;wmode=transparent\" allowfullscreen=\"true\" style=\"border:0;\" sandbox=\"allow-scripts allow-same-origin allow-popups allow-presentation allow-popups-to-escape-sandbox\"><\/iframe><\/span><\/div>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Acesta, oameni dragi, este NUM\u0102RUL COMPLET. Zero condi\u0163ii tehnice. Dar e un num\u0103r muzical de comedie, a\u015fa cum e el scris, nu a\u015fa cum e el framed\u00a0 ca s\u0103 conving\u0103 zdren\u0163ele de internet c\u0103 e cazul s\u0103 m\u0103 mai spurce o dat\u0103.<\/p>\n<p>*<\/p>\n<p>OK. Revenind la scen\u0103 Am ales s\u0103 termin num\u0103rul, de\u015fi auzeam tot ce m\u00e2r\u00e2ia Bendeac &#8211; da, \u00een mor\u0163ii m\u0103-tii de figurant, era g\u00e2ndit cu accente de burlesque. Dar era mai nasol s\u0103 \u00eentrerup \u015fi s\u0103 ne \u0163ig\u0103nim. Ar fi fost contorizat drept neprofesionalismul meu, nu al lui. A\u015fa c\u0103 am dus-o p\u00e2n\u0103 la cap\u0103t \u015fi am a\u015fteptat s\u0103 v\u0103d ce vine.<\/p>\n<p>Au urmat dou\u0103zeci de minute de urlat f\u0103r\u0103 sens, cap \u015fi coad\u0103, \u00een care agariciul \u0103sta entitled, r\u0103zg\u00e2iat de toat\u0103 lumea, binecuv\u00e2ntat cu norocul unui contract cu Prima \u00eenc\u0103 din studen\u0163ie, televiziune pe care a p\u0103r\u0103sit-o PENTRU BANI MAI MUL\u0162I, l\u0103s\u00e2ndu-\u015fi colegii de la Mondenii s\u0103 se descurce dup\u0103 posibilit\u0103\u0163i, balona\u015ful \u0103sta at\u00e2t de plin de sine \u00eenc\u00e2t risc\u0103 \u00een orice moment s\u0103 \u00ee\u015fi ia zborul, incon\u015ftientul \u0103sta care n-a tr\u0103it m\u0103car o singur\u0103 de zi de nesiguran\u0163\u0103 legat\u0103 de propriul viitor m-a f\u0103cut troac\u0103 de porci \u00een toate direc\u0163iile, pentru c\u0103 &#8220;m-am v\u00e2ndut pentru bani&#8221;.<\/p>\n<p>\u015ei c\u0103 m-am cobor\u00e2t la nivel de tabloid.<\/p>\n<p>P\u0103i, ia s\u0103 vedem, oameni buni, cine a ap\u0103rut \u00een tabloide, \u00een ipostaze jemante.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/bendeac.jpg?ssl=1\" data-rel=\"lightbox-image-1\" data-rl_title=\"\" data-rl_caption=\"\" title=\"\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-19472\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/bendeac.jpg?resize=193%2C280&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" width=\"193\" height=\"280\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/bendeac.jpg?w=193&amp;ssl=1 193w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/bendeac.jpg?resize=103%2C150&amp;ssl=1 103w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 193px) 100vw, 193px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Not Lorena.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/bendeac2.jpg?ssl=1\" data-rel=\"lightbox-image-2\" data-rl_title=\"\" data-rl_caption=\"\" title=\"\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-19474\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/bendeac2.jpg?resize=280%2C147&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" width=\"280\" height=\"147\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/bendeac2.jpg?w=280&amp;ssl=1 280w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/bendeac2.jpg?resize=150%2C79&amp;ssl=1 150w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 280px) 100vw, 280px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Still not Lorena.<\/p>\n<p>S-a f\u0103cut 4chan luntre \u015fi punte s\u0103 produc\u0103 un nud cu mine dup\u0103 reclama la videochat \u015fi \u00eenc\u0103 nu le-a ie\u015fit. Am c\u00e2te 30 de c\u0103ut\u0103ri cu lorena lupu nud, lorena lupu goal\u0103 \u015fi lorena lupu porno \u00een fiecare zi. Nema rezultat. Deci, cine plm se calific\u0103 s\u0103 fac\u0103 moral\u0103 \u015fi cui?<\/p>\n<p>*<\/p>\n<p>S\u0103 \u00eencheiem \u00een a observa par\u015fivenia dublelor standarde din Rom\u00e2nia. Un individ apare d\u00e2nd limbi \u00een Cancan. Nici o problem\u0103, cariera lui nu e cu nimic afectat\u0103, curg contractele la televiziuni \u015fi rolurile principale.<\/p>\n<p>O individ\u0103 apare un picu\u0163 decoltat\u0103 \u00eentr-o reclam\u0103 la un job pe care \u015fi cu ea, \u015fi f\u0103r\u0103 ea, \u00eel practic\u0103 deja sute de mii de rom\u00e2nce de ambele sexe. \u015ei timp de doi ani, cariera ei prime\u015fte o lovitur\u0103 dup\u0103 alta, iar diver\u015fi nemernici \u00eei \u00eensceneaz\u0103 scandal dup\u0103 scandal.<\/p>\n<p>*<\/p>\n<p>E momentul s\u0103 tragem ni\u015fte concluzii. \u015ei anume, legate de calitatea colabor\u0103rii. Studioul m-a pl\u0103tit prompt pentru reclame \u015fi \u00eenc\u0103\u00a0 investe\u015fte \u00een promovarea clipului Jet pe YouTube, de\u015fi acela e un\u00a0 proiect al meu. Antena a luat un moment lucrat de mine cu toat\u0103 buna credin\u0163\u0103 \u015fi creativitatea \u015fi l-a transformat \u00eentr-o nou\u0103 tentativ\u0103 de instigare la hate.<\/p>\n<p>\u00cen 2020, un studio de videochat \u00ee\u0163i ofer\u0103 un tratament mai profesionist \u015fi mai civilizat dec\u00e2t o televiziune public\u0103.<\/p>\n<p>Restul e (\u015fi aici includ \u015fi creditele foto) Cancan.<\/p>\n<p>***<\/p>\n<p>Dac\u0103 \u00ee\u0163i place acest blog, ai avut vreodat\u0103 inten\u0163ia s\u0103-l sus\u0163ii dar ai tot am\u00e2nat, acum ar fi un moment foarte bun.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/paypal.me\/Trollywood\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-medium wp-image-14577\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea-300x300.jpg?resize=300%2C300\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=300%2C300&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=150%2C150&amp;ssl=1 150w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=768%2C768&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=160%2C160&amp;ssl=1 160w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=320%2C320&amp;ssl=1 320w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=184%2C184&amp;ssl=1 184w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=600%2C600&amp;ssl=1 600w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=100%2C100&amp;ssl=1 100w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?w=931&amp;ssl=1 931w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>***<br \/>\nVrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe <a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/lorenaalmighty\/\"><strong>Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe <strong><a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/lorenalupu\">Twitter<\/a><\/strong> \u015fi <strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/lorena.lup\/\">Instagram<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>***<\/p>\n<p>Ascult\u0103 Jet pe <strong><a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/album\/3ahSP7bHbzcKsWtGDdzRLK\">Spotify<\/a><\/strong>, cump\u0103r\u0103 piesa pe <a href=\"https:\/\/music.apple.com\/album\/id\/1497428911\"><strong>iTunes<\/strong><\/a> sau pe <a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Jet\/dp\/B084DZ4W5J\"><strong>Amazon Music<\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Voiam s\u0103 scriu acest material dup\u0103 ce ie\u0219im din carantin\u0103 \u0219i filmez un videoclip care s\u0103 arate c\u0103 am dreptate cu ceea ce spun,&#46;&#46;&#46;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":19475,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-19469","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/lorena-lupu.jpg?fit=720%2C378&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19469","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=19469"}],"version-history":[{"count":12,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19469\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":19487,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19469\/revisions\/19487"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/19475"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=19469"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=19469"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=19469"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}