{"id":1961,"date":"2010-01-01T16:05:20","date_gmt":"2010-01-01T13:05:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lorenalupu.wordpress.com\/?p=1961"},"modified":"2010-01-01T16:05:20","modified_gmt":"2010-01-01T13:05:20","slug":"solitaire","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/solitaire\/","title":{"rendered":"Solitaire"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/p>\n

Dat fiind c\u0103 problemele de s\u0103n\u0103tate mi-au futut planurile de Revelion din toate pozi\u0163iile, cu finalizare \u00een bukkake, am avut un Rev de om bolnav, couch party cu Pulic\u0103 \u015fi un bebelu\u015f de 2 virgul\u0103 cinci litri de bere, plus un chil de portocale, un cascaval virgin si un bol mare de m\u0103sline negre f\u0103r\u0103 sare.<\/p>\n

\u00cent\u00e2i am butonat \u00eendelung pe toate canalele. C\u0103cat! Peste tot, \u0163ig\u0103nie. Peste tot, manele. De ce ne mir\u0103m c\u0103 avem o na\u0163iune necivilizat\u0103 \u015fi rudimentar\u0103, dac\u0103 noi promov\u0103m m\u00e2rl\u0103neala? \u015ei mai da\u0163i-m\u0103 naibii cu “pamfletul”, c\u0103 pamfletul este pentru inteligen\u0163i. Idio\u0163ii vor fi oricum ne\u00eenstare s\u0103 sesizeze nuan\u0163a de pamflet, \u015fi nota moralizatoare, \u015fi vor \u00eencepe s\u0103 fac\u0103 ce \u015ftiu ei mai bine: s\u0103 imite ca maimu\u0163ele.<\/p>\n

Apoi, spre uimirea lui Pulic\u0103, a telecomenzii, a canapelei, a florilor din ghivece \u015fi a fiec\u0103rei m\u0103sline din bol, am r\u0103mas pe \u00eensu\u015fi TV Rromales, adic\u0103Canal D (cacofonie deliberat\u0103). Spre surpriza noastr\u0103, televiziunea cea mai responsabil\u0103 cu \u0163iganizarea mentalului colectiv (dup\u0103 Zerou TV, desigur), b\u0103gase Michael Jackson: Invincible Tour, concertul din Munchen. Un turneu care a trecut aproape neobservat de opinia public\u0103, \u00een umbra acuza\u0163iilor de pedofilie care deja \u00eencepuser\u0103 s\u0103-i dinamiteze imaginea, \u015fi care i-au adus sf\u00e2r\u015fitul.<\/p>\n

M-am uitat la acest mix admirabil de efecte speciale, coregrafie fabuloas\u0103, histrionism, sensibilitate, energie, chef de joac\u0103 – de\u015fi costumul de haur din prima parte mi s-a p\u0103rut mai degrab\u0103 kitsch-uliu, nu am putut trece peste modul \u00een care se mula pe popoul \u0103la bombat \u015fi obraznic, de-mi l\u0103sa gura bere, c\u0103 ap\u0103 nu avea de unde. \u015ei m-am g\u00e2ndit ce om frumos a fost p\u00e2n\u0103 la urm\u0103 negri\u015forul \u0103sta din Gary, Indiana.<\/p>\n

Apoi mi-am dat seama c\u0103 m\u0103 sim\u0163eam incredibil de bine singur\u0103 pe canapea, cu motanul \u015fi bolul de m\u0103sline \u00een poal\u0103, \u015fi cu berea la picior. \u015ei am stat s\u0103 m\u0103 g\u00e2ndesc: de ce se chinuie unii s\u0103 se duc\u0103 la petreceri uria\u015fe \u015fi s\u0103 se simt\u0103 mizerabil \u00een mijlocul unor indivizi agasan\u0163i?<\/p>\n

Aceea\u015fi nedumerire pe care o am fa\u0163\u0103 de femeile disperate de s\u0103rb\u0103tori. Aoleu, de ce nu am un piept puternic de b\u0103rbat… \u015ei – adaug eu – zece crati\u0163e pe foc, \u015fi corvezi, \u015fi oboseal\u0103, \u015fi eforturi multiple, \u015fi sacrificii, toate numai pentru o pl\u0103cere pervers\u0103 pe care nu o \u00een\u0163eleg, \u015fi care m\u0103 irit\u0103: aceea de a adopta o figur\u0103 atot\u015ftiutoare \u015fi a ofta condescendent “sunt nefericit\u0103, dar mi-am f\u0103cut datoria.”<\/p>\n

Sugi, f\u0103, toate pulile poporului chinez! Datoria fa\u0163\u0103 de cine, vit\u0103 cornut\u0103? De ce ar fi toate c\u0103caturile astea datoria ta, sau a mea, sau a oricui? Exact a\u015fa cum m\u0103 enervez c\u00e2nd un pulifrici oarecare sau o vac\u0103 \u00eenc\u0103l\u0163at\u0103 \u00eencepe s\u0103 \u00eemi traseze list\u0103 de sarcini doar pentru c\u0103 are el sau ea impresia c\u0103 m-a c\u00e2\u015ftigat la belciuge. \u015ei are impresia c\u0103 de\u015fi eu spun clar c\u0103 nu vreau s\u0103 am ceea ce se nume\u015fte pompos “rela\u0163ie”, de fapt vreau altceva \u00een forul meu interior, numai c\u0103 nu \u00eemi dau seama. \u015ei atunci, pulifriciul oarecare sau vaca \u00eenc\u0103l\u0163at\u0103 \u00eencep s\u0103 m\u0103 bombardeze cu semnale subliminale care s\u0103 indice c\u0103 am avea o rela\u0163ie. \u015ei s\u0103 m\u0103 sufoce cu ele. \u015ei s\u0103 m\u0103 plictiseasc\u0103 \u00eengrozitor. NU, \u00ceN MOR\u0162II M\u0102-TII, NU VREAU S\u0102 M\u0102 \u0162IN CU TINE DE M\u00c2N\u0102 DE S\u0102RB\u0102TORI. NU \u0162I-AM PROMIS NIMIC, M\u0102 ENERVEAZ\u0102 C\u0102 \u00ceNCERCI S\u0102 M\u0102 \u015eANTAJEZI STORC\u00c2NDU-MI PROMISIUNI, \u015eI, PER ANSAMBLU, UN C\u0102LDUROS MAR\u015e LA COTE\u0162!! Am zis!<\/p>\n

Iar dac\u0103 nu r\u0103spund la mesaje \/ telefoane \/ pis\u0103logeal\u0103, asta indic\u0103 dou\u0103 chestii:
\n1. \u00een cazul idio\u0163ilor din prima categorie: c\u0103 ar fi cazul s\u0103 v\u0103 duce\u0163i s\u0103 v\u0103 fute\u0163i singuri \u00een cur cu un polonic, \u015fi s\u0103 m\u0103 l\u0103sa\u0163i \u00een pace.
\n2. \u00een cazul idio\u0163ilor necunoscu\u0163i care dau mesaje nesemnate: c\u0103 ar fi cazul s\u0103 v\u0103 duce\u0163i s\u0103 v\u0103 fute\u0163i singuri \u00een cur cu un polonic, poate v\u0103 tr\u0103zne\u015fte cu ideea c\u0103 ar fi cazul s\u0103 v\u0103 semna\u0163i dracu’ mesajele.<\/p>\n

\u015ei dup\u0103 aceste g\u00e2nduri, m-am sim\u0163it u\u015furat\u0103. Toat\u0103 \u00eenc\u0103rc\u0103tura negativ\u0103 a lui 2009 a disp\u0103rut ca prin farmec. Afar\u0103, au r\u0103sunat mult mai pu\u0163ine petarde dec\u00e2t \u00een anii trecu\u0163i – semn c\u0103 \u00eencepem s\u0103 ne civiliz\u0103m. Iar Invincible Tour a fost frumos \u015fi uman. Mi-a r\u0103mas \u00een fa\u0163a ochilor min\u0163ii o imagine a lui Michael strig\u00e2nd cu pasiune: “Turn on the Lights, I Want to See You!”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Dat fiind c\u0103 problemele de s\u0103n\u0103tate mi-au futut planurile de Revelion din toate pozi\u0163iile, cu finalizare \u00een bukkake, am avut un Rev de om...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[65,238,222],"class_list":["post-1961","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-spicy","tag-bere","tag-masline","tag-michael"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1961","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1961"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1961\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1961"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1961"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1961"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}