Av\u00e2nd aceea\u0219i v\u00e2rst\u0103 precum adolescenta din articolul t\u0103u despre \u201ch\u0103r\u021buirea\u201d verbal\u0103, am decis s\u0103 \u00ee\u021bi scriu, trec\u00e2nd prin aceea\u0219i situa\u0163ie, explic\u00e2nd de ce iau toate mi\u0219tourile \u00een seam\u0103.<\/strong><\/p>\n \u00cen primul r\u00e2nd, pot spune c\u0103 nu sunt mul\u021bumit\u0103 cu corpul meu. Mai mereu am fost luat\u0103 peste picior pentru cum ar\u0103t chiar \u0219i de prietenii pe care \u00eei consideram apropia\u021bi. <\/strong><\/p>\n \u00cen prim\u0103 faz\u0103, aceast\u0103 chestie m-a deranjat. Faptul c\u0103 persoanele \u00een care ieri \u00eemi pusesem toat\u0103 \u00eencrederea, azi \u00eencep s\u0103 \u00ee\u0219i bat\u0103 joc de mine. Dar cu timpul, fiecare cuv\u00e2nt al vreunei persoane, cunoscut\u0103 sau nu, a \u00eenceput s\u0103 m\u0103 obsedeze, f\u0103c\u00e2ndu-m\u0103 s\u0103 m\u0103 \u00eendoiesc de mine, de comportamentul meu, de cum ar\u0103t, de cum vorbesc etc.<\/strong><\/p>\n Pentru c\u0103, \u00een ziua de azi, to\u021bi vrem s\u0103 fim pl\u0103cu\u021bi de cei din jur. Am avut multe persoane apropiate care m-au asigurat c\u0103 nu este nimic \u00een neregul\u0103 cu corpul meu,\u00a0 cu fa\u021ba mea sau cu orice altceva.<\/strong> Nici \u00een momentul de fa\u021b\u0103 nu este nimic schimbat, eu purt\u00e2nd mereu lucruri mai mari sau aplic\u00e2nd machiaj. Ceea ce vreau s\u0103 spun este c\u0103 \u0219tiu c\u0103 nu to\u021bi p\u0103rin\u021bii \u00eenteleg chestia asta, sau alte persoane mai mature, \u0219i \u0219tiu c\u0103 totul este interpretat ca fiind banal, pentru c\u0103 acum ceva timp se zice ca era altfel, dar noi, adolescen\u0163ii de acum avem sentimente puternice care pot fi r\u0103nite extrem de u\u0219or.<\/strong><\/p>\n \u00cen concluzie, Lorena, articolul t\u0103u m-a f\u0103cut s\u0103 m\u0103 simt mai bine, deci \u00ee\u021bi mul\u0163umesc pentru asta, iar p\u0103rin\u021bii copiilor care trec prin aceea\u0219i situa\u021bie ar trebui s\u0103 \u00eei sus\u021bin\u0103 emo\u021bional c\u00e2t mai mult posibil, pentru c\u0103 sunt sigur\u0103 c\u0103 au nevoie de acest lucru.<\/strong><\/p>\n Cu drag de tine,<\/strong><\/p>\n O adolescent\u0103.”\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n Draga mea,<\/p>\n \u00ce\u0163i mul\u0163umesc frumos c\u0103 mi-ai scris. Te felicit pentru c\u0103 ai puterea s\u0103 comunici ceea ce sim\u0163i. Am o m\u0103rturisire pentru tine: \u015ei eu am avut 15 ani odat\u0103.<\/p>\n \u015etiu exact cum e s\u0103 te ur\u0103\u015fti, \u015ftiu exact cum e s\u0103 la\u015fi numai umilin\u0163ele \u015fi mi\u015ftourile s\u0103 ajung\u0103 la tine, pentru c\u0103 te ur\u0103\u015fti \u015fi \u0163i se pare c\u0103 numai \u0103ia care \u00ee\u0163i spun lucruri jignitoare te v\u0103d cu adev\u0103rat \u015fi \u015ftiu exact cum e s\u0103 nu ai pe nimeni \u00een tab\u0103ra ta.<\/p>\n Dar dac\u0103 te prive\u0219ti realist, nu e\u0219ti cu nimic mai prejos dec\u00e2t al\u021bii. Ai calit\u0103\u021bi \u0219i defecte. Cei care ALEG DELIBERAT s\u0103 \u00ee\u021bi ignore calit\u0103\u021bile \u0219i s\u0103 se lege \u00een mod special de defecte, respectiv s\u0103 caute s\u0103-\u021bi nimiceasc\u0103 respectul de sine cu p\u0103rerile lor nesolicitate sunt cei cu problema. Sunt genul de om care vrea s\u0103-i r\u0103neasc\u0103 emo\u0163ional pe al\u0163ii pentru c\u0103 se hr\u0103ne\u015fte cu r\u0103nile lor.<\/p>\n S\u0103 lu\u0103m oameni foarte frumo\u0219i. Care, s\u0103 zicem, ar putea face mi\u0219to de al\u021bii f\u0103r\u0103 “r\u00e2de ciob de oal\u0103 spart\u0103” alert.<\/p>\n De exemplu. Bella \u015fi Gigi Hadid. Le vezi pe aceste dou\u0103 supermodele arunc\u00e2nd insulte fizice altora? Chiar dac\u0103 acei al\u0163ii sunt ur\u00e2\u0163i ca noaptea?<\/p>\n Nu.<\/p>\n E sub demnitatea lor. \u015ei totodat\u0103, sunt ocupate cu cariera lor.<\/p>\n S\u0103 lu\u0103m ni\u015fte b\u0103rba\u0163i frumo\u015fi. Shawn Mendes \u015fi Lil Nas X. \u00cei vezi pe ace\u015fti doi b\u0103rba\u0163i arunc\u00e2nd insulte fizice altora? Chiar dac\u0103 acei al\u0163ii sunt ur\u00e2\u0163i ca noaptea? \u00cei vezi haterind ampulea \u00een rubricile de comentarii ale femeilor? \u00cei vezi \u0163ip\u00e2nd dup\u0103 femei pe strad\u0103: “Ce bidoane ai, f\u0103!”?<\/p>\n Nu.<\/p>\n E sub demnitatea lor. \u015ei, totodat\u0103, sunt ocupa\u0163i cu cariera lor.<\/p>\n Prin urmare, oamenii cu adev\u0103rat valoro\u015fi nu se vor cobor\u00ee s\u0103 te insulte, s\u0103 te porc\u0103ie \u015fi s\u0103 fac\u0103 mi\u015ftouri de tine, pentru c\u0103 au treab\u0103. \u015ei pentru c\u0103 e sub demnitatea lor. Oamenii cu adev\u0103rat valoro\u015fi TE RIDIC\u0102. TE DESCHID. TE FAC S\u0102-\u0162I VEZI ADEV\u0102RATUL POTEN\u0162IAL. Sau, dac\u0103 nu v\u0103d poten\u0163ial, te las\u0103 \u00een pace.<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n Cel care insult\u0103 \u015fi porc\u0103ie f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103-l fi \u00eentrebat nimeni nimic e un gunoi cu ochi. Iar insultele lui vorbesc despre c\u00e2t de infect e el sau ea, nu despre tine.<\/p>\n S\u0103 presupunem prin absurd c\u0103 ai fi foarte ur\u00e2t\u0103 \u015fi gras\u0103. Ei bine, chiar dac\u0103 ai fi c\u00e2t casa poporului, \u015fi ur\u00e2t\u0103, de la soare s\u0103 ne putem uita, dar la tine numai pe \u00eentuneric, ai fi \u00een continuare un om, o persoan\u0103 liber\u0103, care are dreptul la un tratament civilizat. Nu, nu exist\u0103 un grad de ur\u00e2\u0163enie sau gr\u0103sime dincolo de care s\u0103 fie acceptat s\u0103 fii abuzat verbal \u015fi supus mi\u015ftourilor.<\/p>\n Iar cei care fac asta NU \u00ee\u0163i sunt prieteni adev\u0103ra\u0163i. Sunt doar ni\u015fte profitori care se poart\u0103 frumos c\u00e2nd vor ceva de la tine \u015fi ur\u00e2t c\u00e2nd vor s\u0103 te manipuleze.<\/p>\n \u015ei c\u00e2nd cineva nu \u00ee\u0163i e prieten adev\u0103rat, po\u0163i s\u0103 stai \u015fi \u00een cap, \u015fi \u00een partea opus\u0103, \u015fi tot n-o s\u0103-i faci s\u0103 te plac\u0103. Dar problema nu e la tine, lil sis. Tu vii cu prietenie adev\u0103rar\u0103. Problema e la ei.<\/p>\n Un om cinstit \u015fi corect procedeaz\u0103 a\u015fa: \u00ee\u015fi alege oameni pe care \u00eei poate iubi \u015fi respecta \u015fi le ofer\u0103 iubire \u015fi respect. Cu certuri periodice, c\u0103 a\u015fa e via\u0163A, ne mai ciond\u0103nim, dar chiar \u015fi c\u00e2nd ne ciond\u0103nim, un om care ne iube\u015fte \u015fi ne respect\u0103 nu dep\u0103\u015fe\u015fte o anumit\u0103 limit\u0103.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n Oamenii cinsti\u0163i \u00eei \u0163in aproape pe cei fa\u0163\u0103 de care au aceste sentimente \u015fi \u00eei \u0163in departe pe cei pe care nu-i plac.<\/p>\n Spre deosebire de oamenii cinsti\u0163i, lichelele se \u00eenconjoar\u0103 de diverse persoane pe care nu le pre\u0163uiesc \u015fi nu le iubesc, \u015fi \u00eencep s\u0103 le modeleze \u00een a\u015fa fel, \u00eenc\u00e2t s\u0103 fie unelte c\u00e2t mai perfecte. Cu limbi \u00een fiecare cotlon al anusului, c\u00e2nd le-o dicteaz\u0103 interesul, \u015fi cu brutalit\u0103\u0163i incalificabile, c\u00e2nd e cazul s\u0103 te reduc\u0103 la t\u0103cere.<\/p>\n Cei care se poart\u0103 a\u015fa nu sunt prietenii t\u0103i adev\u0103ra\u0163i \u015fi nu vor fi niciodat\u0103. Iar problema nu e la tine, ci la ei.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n S\u0103 \u00eencerci s\u0103 le placi \u0103stora e un r\u0103zboi pierdut din etapa de \u00eenarm\u0103ri. Cine te place, te place pur \u015fi simplu \u015fi cine nu te place, nu te va pl\u0103cea nici dac\u0103 \u00eei aduci luna de pe cer.<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n Vedeta mea preferat\u0103, RuPaul, are un catchphrase: “It you can’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love anybody else”. \u015ei e complet adev\u0103rat. Trebuie s\u0103 ne iubim \u00een primul r\u00e2nd pe noi \u00een\u015fine.<\/p>\n Drept care, \u00eencepe prin a-\u0163i asuma c\u0103 tu, a\u015fa cum e\u015fti, e\u015fti cea mai valoroas\u0103 avere a ta \u015fi iube\u015fte-te cu toate imperfec\u0163iunile tale. Pariez c\u0103, dac\u0103 \u00eei lu\u0103m la bani m\u0103run\u0163i, nici cei care te iau la mi\u015ftouri nu sunt cine \u015ftie ce, dimpotriv\u0103.<\/p>\n Poate c\u0103 fa\u0163a ta nu e perfect\u0103. Nici a mea nu e. A nim\u0103nui nu e. Dar iube\u015fte-o a\u015fa cum e, c\u0103 e a ta.<\/p>\n Poate c\u0103 nu ai corpul perfect. \u015ei eu m-am f\u0103cut c\u00e2t o c\u0103mil\u0103 \u00een carantin\u0103. Dar a\u015fa cum e, e corpul t\u0103u.<\/p>\n Iube\u015fte-le, respect\u0103-le, \u015fi nu mai permite nim\u0103nui s\u0103 le ia \u00een der\u00e2dere.<\/p>\n Pune-i la punct \u015fi traseaz\u0103-le limite. Scoate \u00een eviden\u0163\u0103, \u00een replic\u0103, ce au ei ur\u00e2t. La pariu c\u0103 ei nu vor \u00eendura pasiv? Ci vor deveni instant victimele *urului? Mbun, de cum \u00eencep s\u0103 se vaiete, spune-le: Minunat, bitchez, dac\u0103 vou\u0103 nu v\u0103 place, afla\u0163i c\u0103 nici mie, zdren\u0163elor!<\/p>\n Iar legat de tipul \u0103la care \u00ee\u0163i place: \u00ee\u0163i zic eu ce \u00ee\u0163i place la el de fapt. \u00ce\u0163i place c\u0103 respingerea lui e o replic\u0103 \u00een oglind\u0103 a urii tale fa\u0163\u0103 de tine.<\/p>\n \u00cenva\u0163\u0103 s\u0103 te iube\u015fti \u015fi reac\u0163ia ta fa\u0163\u0103 de unul care face mi\u015fto va fi: “Oook, alt pulifrici care n-are nimic pozitiv de oferit \u015fi compenseaz\u0103 cu s\u00e2c\u00e2ial\u0103 stupid\u0103 \u015fi f\u0103r\u0103 miz\u0103”<\/p>\n Nu ai timp de \u0103\u015ftia, sis. Chiar nu. Sunt cea mai joas\u0103 tentativ\u0103 e\u015fuat\u0103 de om \u015fi nu ai ce construi cu ei.<\/p>\n \u00ce\u0163i dau tem\u0103. Vreau de la tine un mail \u00een care s\u0103-mi scrii zece lucruri care \u00ee\u0163i plac la tine.<\/p>\n Mul\u0163umesc \u015fi \u00ee\u0163i doresc un weekend frumos,<\/p>\n Lorena.<\/p>\n Restul lumii, cel pu\u0163in aceia dintre voi care ave\u0163i aceea\u015fi problem\u0103, v\u0103 rog, face\u0163i acela\u015fi exerci\u0163iu. Zece lucruri care v\u0103 plac la propria persoan\u0103. Ca s\u0103 nu-mi bloca\u0163i mailul, v\u0103 rog, folosi\u0163i rubrica de comentarii.<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Dac\u0103 \u00ee\u0163i place acest blog, ai avut vreodat\u0103 inten\u0163ia s\u0103-l sus\u0163ii dar ai tot am\u00e2nat, acum ar fi un moment foarte bun.<\/p>\n *** ***<\/p>\n Ascult\u0103 Jet pe Spotify<\/a><\/strong>, cump\u0103r\u0103 piesa pe iTunes<\/strong><\/a> sau pe Amazon Music<\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Ieri am primit urm\u0103torul mail: “Bun\u0103, Lorena,\u00a0 Av\u00e2nd aceea\u0219i v\u00e2rst\u0103 precum adolescenta din articolul t\u0103u despre \u201ch\u0103r\u021buirea\u201d verbal\u0103, am decis s\u0103 \u00ee\u021bi scriu, trec\u00e2nd...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":19280,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-19628","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/pijama.jpg?fit=640%2C426&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19628","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=19628"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19628\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":19633,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19628\/revisions\/19633"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=19628"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=19628"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=19628"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nDar simplul g\u00e2nd c\u0103 b\u0103iatul de care \u00eemi place crede c\u0103 sunt gras\u0103 sau c\u0103 prietena mea cea mai bun\u0103 m\u0103 vede ur\u00e2t\u0103 m-a dobor\u00e2t psihic. <\/strong><\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea-300x300.jpg?resize=300%2C300\")
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\nVrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe Twitter<\/a><\/strong> \u015fi Instagram<\/a><\/strong>, subscribe pe YouTube<\/a>.<\/p>\n