{"id":1964,"date":"2010-01-03T12:13:03","date_gmt":"2010-01-03T09:13:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lorenalupu.wordpress.com\/?p=1964"},"modified":"2010-01-03T12:13:03","modified_gmt":"2010-01-03T09:13:03","slug":"rugaciune-a-la-lorena","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/rugaciune-a-la-lorena\/","title":{"rendered":"Rug\u0103ciune a la Lorena"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/lorenalupu.files.wordpress.com\/2010\/01\/6174162.jpg\" data-rel=\"lightbox-image-0\" data-rl_title=\"\" data-rl_caption=\"\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/lorenalupu.files.wordpress.com\/2010\/01\/6174162.jpg?resize=500%2C666\" alt=\"\" title=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"666\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-1965\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Doamne, ajut\u0103-m\u0103 s\u0103 xxxxx \u015fi jur s\u0103 nu mai \u00eenjur niciodat\u0103&#8230; m\u0103 rog, except\u00e2nd cazurile \u00een care chiar m\u0103 enerveaz\u0103 ceva sau cineva foarte tare, ceea ce se \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103 cam de zece ori pe zi, dar jur m\u0103car s\u0103 renun\u0163 la sexul sportiv \u015fi s\u0103 nu fac dec\u00e2t dragoste &#8211; bine, except\u00e2nd momentele \u00een care chiar mi se urc\u0103 foliculina la cap \u015fi simt c\u0103 dac\u0103 nu mi-o trag \u00eennebunesc &#8211; carele temperament tot tu mi l-ai dat, Dumnezeule &#8211; \u015fi o s\u0103 \u00eencerc s\u0103 privesc cu al\u0163i ochi stupidele ritualuri ortodoxe care m\u0103 fac s\u0103 m\u0103 lupt cu r\u00e2sul ori de c\u00e2te ori intru \u00eentr-o biseric\u0103, ceea ce mi se \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103 at\u00e2t de rar &#8211; ah, uite, pot s\u0103 \u00eencerc s\u0103 promit c\u0103 se va \u00eent\u00e2mpla mai des? Nu \u015ftiu c\u00e2t de des, c\u0103 nu am voca\u0163ie real\u0103 de martir, dar&#8230; ceva mai des dec\u00e2t \u00een trecut.<\/p>\n<p>Doamne, ajut\u0103-m\u0103 m\u0103car acum s\u0103 se \u00eent\u00e2mple xxxxx, \u015fi jur s\u0103 \u00eencerc s\u0103 privesc cu mai mult\u0103 indulgen\u0163\u0103 prostia, r\u0103utatea, par\u015fivenia \u015fi m\u00e2rl\u0103nia &#8211; bine, de\u015fi de c\u00e2te ori le-am tratat cu indulgen\u0163\u0103, posesorii lor \u015fi-au permis mai mult \u015fi mai mult, p\u00e2n\u0103 c\u00e2nd am explodat ur\u00e2t, \u015fi via\u0163a m-a \u00eenv\u0103\u0163at c\u0103 e bine s\u0103 tratezi tran\u015fant din prima, c\u0103 pe urm\u0103 \u0163i se urc\u0103 \u00een cap mizerabilii, lu-le-a\u015f mor\u0163ii-n oops, scuze, m-a luat gura pe dinainte. Dar te rog, Doamne, chiar dac\u0103 nu pot fi numit\u0103 un munament de cre\u015ftin\u0103tate, merit \u015fi eu o bucurie \u00een via\u0163\u0103, dup\u0103 \u00eendelungul \u015fir de mui prin care mi-ai luat joburile \u015fi rinichii.<\/p>\n<p>Nu am stof\u0103 de Iov, dac\u0103 ai pus cumva pariu cu diavolul c\u0103 sunt tare pe felie ai pierdut de acum, te anun\u0163, -\u015fi oricum, dac\u0103 numita Carte a lui Iov m-ar fi avut pe mine protagonist\u0103, povestea ar fi sunat a\u015fa:<\/p>\n<p><!--more-->14. A sosit un vestitor la Iov \u015fi i-a spus: &#8220;Boii erau la ar\u0103tur\u0103 \u015fi asinele p\u0103\u015fteau pe l\u00e2ng\u0103 ei;<br \/>\n15. Atunci Sabeenii au n\u0103v\u0103lit asupra lor, au pus m\u00e2na pe vite, \u015fi pe robi i-au trecut prin ascu\u0163i\u015ful sabiei. \u015ei am sc\u0103pat numai eu singur \u015fi am venit s\u0103-\u0163i dau de veste!&#8221;<br \/>\n16. Nu a sf\u00e2r\u015fit vorba bine \u015fi altul a sosit \u015fi a spus: &#8220;Focul lui Dumnezeu a c\u0103zut din cer \u015fi a ars oile tale \u015fi pe robii t\u0103i \u015fi i-a mistuit. \u015ei am sc\u0103pat numai eu singur \u015fi am venit s\u0103-\u0163i dau de veste!&#8221;<br \/>\n17. Nu a sf\u00e2r\u015fit vorba bine \u015fi altul a sosit \u015fi a spus: &#8220;Caldeii, \u00eemp\u0103r\u0163i\u0163i \u00een trei cete, au dat n\u0103val\u0103 peste c\u0103milele tale \u015fi le-au ridicat \u015fi pe robi i-au trecut prin ascu\u0163i\u015ful sabiei. \u015ei am sc\u0103pat numai eu singur \u015fi am venit s\u0103-\u0163i dau de veste!&#8221;<br \/>\n18. Nu sf\u00e2r\u015fise vorba bine \u015fi altul a sosit \u015fi a spus: &#8220;Feciorii t\u0103i \u015fi fetele tale m\u00e2ncau \u015fi beau vin \u00een casa fratelui lor mai mare,<br \/>\n19. \u015ei iat\u0103 c\u0103 un v\u00e2nt puternic s-a st\u00e2rnit dinspre pustiu \u015fi a izbit \u00een cele patru col\u0163uri ale casei \u015fi casa s-a pr\u0103bu\u015fit peste tineri \u015fi ei au murit. \u015ei am sc\u0103pat numai eu singur \u015fi am venit s\u0103-\u0163i dau de veste&#8221;.<br \/>\n20. Atunci Iov s-a sculat \u015fi-a sf\u00e2\u015fiat ve\u015fm\u00e2ntul, s-a ras pe cap \u015fi, c\u0103z\u00e2nd la p\u0103m\u00e2nt, s-a \u00eenchinat,<br \/>\n21. <em>Apoi a scos telefonul mobil, s-a conectat la Internet, \u015fi i-a trimis un mail lui Satan cel viclean: &#8220;Crezi c\u0103 putem ajunge la o \u00een\u0163elegere?&#8221;<\/em><\/p>\n<p>End of story.<\/p>\n<p>Ah, da! Am g\u0103sit ceva ce pot promite. \u00cemi place gospelul, promit s\u0103 fac Gospel Marathon \u00een slava ta. Se pune?<\/p>\n<p>Cu smerenie,<\/p>\n<p>roaba lui Dumnezeu Lorena. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Doamne, ajut\u0103-m\u0103 s\u0103 xxxxx \u015fi jur s\u0103 nu mai \u00eenjur niciodat\u0103&#8230; m\u0103 rog, except\u00e2nd cazurile \u00een care chiar m\u0103 enerveaz\u0103 ceva sau cineva foarte&#46;&#46;&#46;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1964","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1964","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1964"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1964\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1964"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1964"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1964"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}