De azi, sunt un om oficial s\u0103n\u0103tos. (Desigur, nu am zis nimic de la g\u00e2t \u00een sus.)<\/p>\n
Gata cu febra, gata cu frisoanele, gata cu ame\u0163elile \u015fi st\u0103rile de r\u0103u. Am \u00eenviat.<\/p>\n
Am \u015fi ie\u015fit din cas\u0103, \u00een sf\u00e2r\u015fit. L-am vizitat pe bunul meu prieten Samoil\u0103 – acela\u015fi amic grijuliu dintotdeauna, avea cafeaua \u015fi mierea preg\u0103tite pentru tradi\u0163ionalul “iepuroi vienez” – adic\u0103 un mix de cafea \u015fi miere de st\u0103 linguri\u0163a ca sabia cotropitoare a lui Baiazid Fulgerul, spre deosebire de “iepura\u015f” – honey bunny, care e soft, silky \u015fi neb\u0103ubil.
\nUPDATE: Apoi a urmat o partid\u0103 violent\u0103 de sex. \u00centre c\u0103\u0163elu\u015fa Lea \u015fi papucii sub form\u0103 de c\u0103\u0163ei alba\u015ftri. cu urechi lungi pe care \u00eei purta maestrul Samoil\u0103. Unde c\u0103\u0163elu\u015fa era deasupra, \u015fi futea violent, ap\u0103sat \u015fi cu poft\u0103. \u015ei cu o limb\u0103 de un cot.<\/p>\n
\u00cen timp ce am bolit, am tradus o “time machine story” pentru viitoarea revist\u0103 SF a lui HNU. \u015ei am pus o vecin\u0103 s\u0103 \u00eemi cumpere “Femeia” de ianuarie. Oh, da. I love it when I’m treated this way.<\/p>\n
Pentru c\u0103 po\u0163i fi tu autoru’ lu’ pe\u015fte, \u015fi s\u0103 bor\u0103\u015fti m\u0103rg\u0103ritare din tastatur\u0103 – dac\u0103 sunt paginate na\u015fpa, dac\u0103 nu \u0163i se respect\u0103 alineatele \u015fi dac\u0103 se mai \u015fi ilustreaz\u0103 prost – iese fix un c\u0103c\u0103\u0163el \u00een v\u00e2rf de b\u0103\u0163. \u00cen schimb, o ilustra\u0163ie \u00een ton cu tine \u015fi aten\u0163ia la redactare make a world of difference. Red. \u015fef. Luana Mure\u015fan rulzzzz! Exemplul perfect de om care sfin\u0163e\u015fte locul. <\/p>\n
Ah, \u015fi o discu\u0163ie haioas\u0103 \u00eentre copila\u015fi, \u00een metrou:
\n-Ce e \u0103la str\u0103bunic?
\n-Bunicul bunicului. Ba nu, tat\u0103l bunicului. Sau bunicul tat\u0103lui?
\n-P\u0103i atunci \u0103la nu \u0163i-era str\u0103bunic b\u0103\u0103\u0103\u0103i, \u0163i-era str\u0103unchi.
\n-Nu exist\u0103 a\u015fa ceva!
\n-Dar era fratele tat\u0103lui bunicului t\u0103u. \u015ei fratele tat\u0103lui e unchi.
\n-Dar nu era fratele tat\u0103lui meu, ci fratele tat\u0103lui bunicului!! Deci era str\u0103bunic, prostuleee.
\n-Ba era str\u0103unchi.
\n-Nu exist\u0103 a\u015fa ceva, nu auuuuzi?
\n-Auzi da’ lui \u00eei pl\u0103cea de tine?
\n-\u0102\u0103\u0103…
\n-Nu-i pl\u0103cea de tine! \u015ei atunci de ce ai pl\u00e2ns la ore dup\u0103 el?
\n-Am pl\u00e2ns numa-n pauz\u0103, prostuleee!
\n-Dar ai pl\u00e2ns mult.
\n-Da, am f\u0103cut b\u0103ltoac\u0103. A venit tanti de servici s\u0103 \u015ftearg\u0103.
\n-Dac\u0103 nu \u00eei pl\u0103cea de tine, de ce ai pl\u00e2ns dup\u0103 el?
\n-Pentru c\u0103 a murit \u015fi a fost \u00eenmorm\u00e2ntare, prostuleee! \u015etii c\u0103 \u015fi tu po\u0163i s\u0103 mori \u015fi s\u0103 ai \u00eenmorm\u00e2ntare?
\nPauz\u0103 de g\u00e2ndire.<\/p>\n
—-<\/p>\n
Iar eu am sc\u0103pat cu via\u0163\u0103, da?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
De azi, sunt un om oficial s\u0103n\u0103tos. (Desigur, nu am zis nimic de la g\u00e2t \u00een sus.) Gata cu febra, gata cu frisoanele, gata...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1971","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1971","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1971"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1971\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1971"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1971"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1971"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}