{"id":20013,"date":"2020-07-11T10:15:59","date_gmt":"2020-07-11T07:15:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=20013"},"modified":"2024-09-10T18:14:29","modified_gmt":"2024-09-10T15:14:29","slug":"posta-redactiei-m-a-amenintat-ca-se-sinucide","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/posta-redactiei-m-a-amenintat-ca-se-sinucide\/","title":{"rendered":"Po\u015fta redac\u0163iei: M-a amenin\u0163at c\u0103 se sinucide"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>\u015etiu, po\u015fta redac\u0163iei e \u00een ultima vreme \u00een fiecare zi, dar nu am ce face dac\u0103 primesc at\u00e2tea mailuri. Misiva de azi este:<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bun\u0103, Lorena, <\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Te citesc de ceva timp \u015fi am apreciat \u00eentotdeauna r\u0103spunsurile date de tine la Po\u015fta Redac\u0163iei. Mi-a pl\u0103cut c\u0103 analizezi logic problemele altora, \u015fi c\u0103, atunci c\u00e2nd situa\u0163ia o cere, e\u015fti foarte categoric\u0103 \u015fi spui totul pe fa\u0163\u0103. <\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Dup\u0103 destul de mult timp de g\u00e2ndire, vin \u015fi eu cu o poveste. <\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Nu sunt foarte sigur\u0103 daca este potrivit\u0103,<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>(Honey, orice ai de zis este potrivit. Lorena.)<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00eentruc\u00e2t ceea ce am s\u0103 povestesc s-a \u00eent\u00e2mplat acum c\u00e2\u0163iva ani, iar o bun\u0103 parte din problem\u0103 s-a rezolvat la momentul respectiv. Dar am r\u0103mas cu ni\u015fte sechele\/traume emo\u0163ionale peste care cred c\u0103 a\u015f putea trece mai u\u015for \u00eemp\u0103rt\u0103\u015find povestea \u015fi primind un sfat critic, impar\u0163ial.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>C\u00e2nd aveam 18 ani, am cunoscut printr-o prieten\u0103 un b\u0103iat cu 8 ani mai mare dec\u00e2t mine. Eu eram \u00een\u00a0 clasa a 12-a \u015fi urma s\u0103 plec la facultate in Bucure\u015fti, el se l\u0103sase de facultate cu ceva timp \u00een urm\u0103 \u015fi lucra \u00een str\u0103in\u0103tate cam 7-8 luni pe an, \u00eemp\u0103r\u0163ite. <\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>O vreme, totul a fost ok, \u00eemi povestea c\u0103 nu a avut noroc \u00een dragoste, c\u0103 prietenele avute p\u00e2n\u0103 atunci \u00eel trataser\u0103 ur\u00e2t \u015fi \u00eel \u00een\u015felaser\u0103, \u015fi c\u0103 apoi, toate regretaser\u0103 profund \u015fi el nu le-a mai dat a doua \u015fans\u0103. <\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>C\u00e2nd m-a cunoscut pe mine, era chipurile de c\u00e2teva luni cu o fat\u0103 de care zicea c\u0103 nu s-a desp\u0103r\u0163it din mil\u0103, dar pe care a l\u0103sat-o la c\u00e2teva s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2ni dup\u0103 ce ne-am cunoscut. <\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Pe parcursul rela\u0163iei noastre, am observat \u00eencet-\u00eencet c\u0103 devenea posesiv, f\u0103cea remarci sarcastice c\u00e2nd ie\u015feam cu colegii, ba chiar se convinsese singur c\u0103 un fost prieten (cu care eram coleg\u0103 \u00een c\u0103min) era \u00eenc\u0103 \u00eendr\u0103gostit de mine \u015fi \u00eencerca s\u0103 &#8220;m\u0103 fure&#8221;. <\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>De\u015fi tipul chiar nu avea nicio treab\u0103, ramaseser\u0103m amici \u015fi l\u0103saser\u0103m loc de &#8220;bun\u0103 ziua&#8221;. \u00cen cele din urm\u0103, la un moment dat, s-a nimerit s\u0103 ies cu acel fost prieten la o \u0163igar\u0103 \u00een ora\u015ful natal, noi fiind vecini. \u0102sta c\u00e2nd a aflat, el fiind \u00een afara \u0163\u0103rii, mi-a f\u0103cut prin telefon o criz\u0103 de gelozie monstruoas\u0103, care a durat trei ore. Proasta de mine, c\u0103 nu pot s\u0103 m\u0103 numesc altfel, am decis s\u0103 rup prietenia cu acel b\u0103iat, pentru a nu mai avea parte de certuri cu iubitul. Bine\u00een\u0163eles c\u0103, dup\u0103, s-a eschivat, spun\u00e2nd c\u0103 &#8220;eu nu te-am obligat, tu ai ales s\u0103 faci asta, da?&#8221;.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00centruc\u00e2t am fost \u00eenv\u0103\u0163at\u0103 de mic\u0103 s\u0103 nu \u00eenjur, ci mai degrab\u0103 s\u0103 tac \u015fi s\u0103 \u00eenghit, eram partenera ideal\u0103 pentru el. Am avut o rela\u0163ie de aproape doi ani \u015fi jum\u0103tate, \u00een care am mai primit comentarii geloase (eu merg pe munte, unde nu e semnal la telefon &#8211; daah!, ceea ce aparent nu era ok pentru el), p\u00e2n\u0103 c\u00e2nd am aflat de la prietenii lui c\u0103 pl\u0103nuia s\u0103 m\u0103 cear\u0103 de nevast\u0103. <\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>P\u00e2n\u0103 atunci, nu pot s\u0103 spun c\u0103 fusese o rela\u0163ie chiar ur\u00e2t\u0103, cu excep\u0163ia c\u00e2torva red flags nu foarte dese, m\u0103 sim\u0163eam totu\u015fi destul de ok c\u00e2t s\u0103 nu realizez c\u0103 ceva e \u00een neregul\u0103. \u00cens\u0103, c\u00e2nd am auzit de presupusa cerere, am realizat c\u0103 nu vreau a\u015fa ceva. C\u0103 nu \u00eemi pot petrece via\u0163a a\u015fa, cu unul care, dup\u0103 ce c\u0103 nu e aproape niciodat\u0103 acas\u0103, mai e \u015fi controlator \u015fi gelos. <\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00cen paralel, am cunoscut un alt tip, care m\u0103 pl\u0103cea, \u015fi am realizat c\u0103 \u015fi eu \u00eencepeam s\u0103 \u00eel plac pe el. C\u00e2nd am realizat lucrul asta, am decis s\u0103 rup rela\u0163ia \u00een care eram \u015fi s\u0103 \u00eemi tr\u0103iesc via\u0163a, c\u0103 nu vreau \u00eensur\u0103toare la 20 de ani \u015fi nici copii. <\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>A\u015fa c\u0103 am \u00eencercat s\u0103 \u00eel sun \u015fi s\u0103 \u00eei explic, \u00eens\u0103 a \u00eenceput efectiv (I shit you not) s\u0103 pl\u00e2ng\u0103 \u00een hohote la telefon. Mi s-a f\u0103cut at\u00e2t de mil\u0103 de el, \u00eenc\u00e2t i-am zis s\u0103 uite ce discutaser\u0103m \u015fi c\u0103 va fi totul ok.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Peste c\u00e2teva zile, m-am trezit cu el la u\u015f\u0103, ar\u0103t\u00e2nd \u00een ultimul hal. Din nou, mi s-a f\u0103cut at\u00e2t de mil\u0103,\u00a0 \u00eenc\u00e2t l-am primit \u00een\u0103untru, \u015fi nu i-am mai zis nimic de desp\u0103r\u0163ire. Voia s\u0103 vin cu el la mare, \u00eempreun\u0103 cu ni\u015fte prieteni. Acolo, nu am mai suportat \u015fi am &#8220;spart buba&#8221;. I-am spus c\u0103 nu mai vreau, c\u0103 \u00eencepe s\u0103-mi plac\u0103 de altcineva, c\u0103 nu merge \u015fi c\u0103 sper s\u0103 \u00een\u0163eleag\u0103. Nu \u00eel \u00een\u015felasem, \u00eens\u0103 el fix la concluzia asta a ajuns. M-a amenin\u0163at c\u0103 se sinucide (cum o f\u0103cuse \u015fi \u00eenainte), dup\u0103 care m-a amenin\u0163at c\u0103, dac\u0103 plec de acolo, vine dup\u0103 mine p\u00e2n\u0103 acas\u0103. <\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Primul impuls fusese s\u0103 m\u0103 sui \u00een tren \u015fi s\u0103 plec, \u00eens\u0103 \u015ftia unde stau, \u015ftia unde st\u0103 mama, \u015fi c\u00e2nd l-am v\u0103zut c\u0103 \u00ee\u015fi pierde cump\u0103tul, m-am speriat at\u00e2t de tare, \u00eenc\u00e2t am renun\u0163at la orice idee de a sc\u0103pa. \u00cencepuse s\u0103 dea cu piciorul \u00eentr-un copac de pe strad\u0103, lucru care nu prea m-a facut s\u0103 m\u0103 simt \u00een siguran\u0163\u0103. <\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Dup\u0103 ce am ajuns la hotel (unde \u00eemp\u0103r\u0163eam o camer\u0103), lucrurile au devenit \u015fi mai nasoale. I-am zis c\u0103 vreau s\u0103 plec, \u00eens\u0103 c\u00e2nd ie\u015feam pe u\u015f\u0103, mi-a smucit m\u00e2na \u015fi mi-a \u00eencuiat u\u015fa \u00een fa\u0163\u0103. Apoi s-a t\u0103v\u0103lit pe jos pl\u00e2ng\u00e2nd. Apoi, a \u00eenceput s\u0103 dea cu pumnii \u00een pere\u0163i \u015fi s\u0103 \u0163ipe. <\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Eu am \u00eencremenit pur \u015fi simplu, g\u00e2ndindu-m\u0103 c\u0103 orice a\u015f face, ar trebui s\u0103 nu \u00eel enervez, s\u0103 nu \u00eel aduc \u00een starea \u00een care mi-ar face mie ceva. Era s\u0103 fiu violat\u0103 de tipul cu care avusesem o rela\u0163ie de aproape trei ani. Mi-a spus s\u0103 m\u0103 dezbrac \u015fi a vrut s\u0103 facem sex, \u00eens\u0103 s-a oprit (presupun c\u0103, fiind \u00eentr-un hotel, i-a fost fric\u0103\u00a0 s\u0103 nu \u0163ip). <\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Mai mult, \u015ftia c\u0103 am avoca\u0163i \u00een familie, ceea ce probabil a fost suficient s\u0103-l determine s\u0103 \u00eei fie fric\u0103 s\u0103 mearg\u0103 mai departe. Mi-a umblat \u00een telefon, mi-a spus literalmente r\u00e2z\u00e2nd &#8220;doar nu credeai c\u0103 scapi a\u015fa u\u015for&#8221; c\u00e2nd am \u00eencercat s\u0103 ies pe u\u015f\u0103.\u00a0 \u015etiu c\u0103 nu am reac\u0163ionat corect, c\u0103 ar fi trebuit s\u0103 \u0163ip, s\u0103 m\u0103 lupt, \u00eens\u0103 \u00een momentul acela am \u00eencremenit efectiv, parc\u0103 nu \u00eemi mai func\u0163iona creierul. De fric\u0103, am renun\u0163at la orice idee de a pleca, doar-doar voi sc\u0103pa f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 \u00eencerce s\u0103 \u00eemi mai fac\u0103 ceva.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00cen cele din urm\u0103, din fericire, a trebuit s\u0103 plece \u00eenapoi de unde venise \u015fi eu am putut pleca acas\u0103. \u00cemi era team\u0103 c\u0103 o s\u0103 pun\u0103 poze cu mine pe internet, sau c\u0103 o s\u0103 m\u0103 trezesc iar cu el la u\u015f\u0103. \u00cen c\u00e2teva d\u0103\u0163i, \u00eenainte, \u00eemi spusese c\u0103, dac\u0103 vreodat\u0103 \u00eel &#8220;\u00een\u015fel&#8221;, o s\u0103 \u00eel g\u0103seasc\u0103 pe tip \u015fi o s\u0103 \u00eel omoare, iar mie nu \u015ftie ce mi-ar face. Atunci, p\u0103ruser\u0103 glume, \u00eens\u0103 acum, \u00eemi treceau cuvintele lui prin cap \u015fi m\u0103 ingrozeau. <\/strong><strong>Mai ales c\u0103 era var\u0103, st\u0103team singur\u0103 \u00een c\u0103min, \u015fi el \u015ftia unde. <\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Niciunul din prietenii lui nu m-ar fi crezut dac\u0103 le-a\u015f fi spus ce a f\u0103cut, oric\u00e2nd erau de fa\u0163\u0103 avea grij\u0103 s\u0103 fie cel mai mare gentleman. Nu am avut curaj nici s\u0103 le spun p\u0103rin\u0163ilor, tat\u0103lui meu abia i-am spus o parte din poveste de cur\u00e2nd \u015fi a reac\u0163ionat destul de prost, \u015fi \u00een plus, nu vreau ca ei s\u0103 se \u00eenvinov\u0103\u0163easc\u0103 pentru prostia mea de atunci. O vreme, am mai primit telefoane \u015fi email-uri, \u00eens\u0103 apoi s-a potolit. <\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>A durat cam un an p\u00e2n\u0103 s\u0103 \u00een\u0163eleg ce mi s-a \u00eent\u00e2mplat, c\u0103 suferisem o form\u0103 de abuz. O vreme am refuzat s\u0103 m\u0103 g\u00e2ndesc la ce mi s-a \u00eent\u00e2mplat. Apoi, colac peste pup\u0103z\u0103, a ajuns la mine vorba c\u0103 min\u0163ea peste tot cum c\u0103 eu l-a\u015f fi c\u0103utat, implor\u00e2ndu-l s\u0103 fac\u0103 sex cu mine. Ceea ce era, evident, o minciun\u0103 gogonat\u0103. Abia atunci am realizat \u00een totalitate cu ce om avusesem de-a face. C\u0103 tot ce povestea despre fostele lui, disperate dup\u0103 el, fuseser\u0103 minciuni. \u015ei c\u0103, probabil, \u00eencerca doar s\u0103 o fac\u0103 geloas\u0103 pe tipa cu care era atunci. Mi s-a f\u0103cut grea\u0163\u0103, \u015fi i-am blocat pe ultimii prieteni comuni pe care \u00eei mai aveam (facebook, whatsapp, telefon, tot), ca s\u0103 nu mai aflu \u015fi alte minciuni gogonate prin ei.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u015ei acum ajung \u00eentr-un final \u015fi la problema actual\u0103. Nu am reu\u015fit s\u0103 trec \u00een \u00eentregime peste ce mi s-a \u00eent\u00e2mplat atunci. Ori de c\u00e2te ori vorbesc despre asta, am atacuri de panic\u0103, uneori nu reu\u015fesc s\u0103\u00a0 adorm noaptea de nervi. <\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Nu \u00een\u0163eleg cum am putut s\u0103 fiu at\u00e2t de naiv\u0103, efectiv o&#8230; g\u00e2sc\u0103 proast\u0103, cum le spui tu, \u00eenc\u00e2t s\u0103 permit s\u0103 ajung \u00eentr-o a\u015fa situa\u0163ie. Nu reu\u015fesc s\u0103 m\u0103 iert pe mine pentru c\u0103 am stat ca proasta \u00een timp ce un cretin m-a sechestrat. <\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Culmea e c\u0103 nu sunt, \u015fi nu eram nici pe atunci, vreo mironosi\u0163\u0103 sensibil\u0103, mereu am fost mai b\u0103ie\u0163oas\u0103. Ceea ce am p\u0103\u0163it m-a schimbat mult, am devenit mult mai rea \u015fi am realizat c\u0103 trebuie s\u0103 m\u0103 dezbar de toate obiceiurile \u00eenv\u0103\u0163ate \u00een copil\u0103rie de la mama. S\u0103 fii &#8220;o doamn\u0103&#8221; nu merge. Nu \u0163ine figura, nu la noi. Nu \u015ftiu cum s\u0103 trec peste ceea ce am p\u0103\u0163it. Nu am cu ce s\u0103 merg la poli\u0163ie, cum nu aveam nici atunci, deci de dreptate nu poate fi vorba. Ar fi trebuit s\u0103 trec peste, am o via\u0163\u0103 bun\u0103, am terminat \u00eentre timp facultatea, am un job foarte bun, \u015fi pot spune c\u0103 tot ce mi-am dorit de la via\u0163\u0103, am reu\u015fit s\u0103 ob\u0163in. \u00cens\u0103, acest singur episod din via\u0163a mea \u00eenc\u0103 m\u0103 &#8220;b\u00e2ntuie&#8221;. Nici nu pot s\u0103 \u00eemi imaginez c\u00e2t\u0103 putere mental\u0103 au femeile care trec peste lucruri mai rele, c\u00e2nd eu am r\u0103mas blocat\u0103 aici. Mi s-a mai spus \u015fi c\u0103 exagerez, c\u0103 de fapt nu am p\u0103\u0163it nimic, c\u0103 s\u0103racul doar m\u0103 iubea prea mult, c\u0103 nu mi-ar fi f\u0103cut nimic, \u00eens\u0103 eu nu a\u015fa m-am sim\u0163it. Am fost \u00eengrozit\u0103.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00ce\u0163i mul\u0163umesc c\u0103 ai citit p\u00e2n\u0103 aici, sper s\u0103 nu te superi c\u0103 am scris at\u00e2t de mult. Sper c\u0103 poate p\u0103\u0163ania mea le va lumina \u015fi pe altele, s\u0103 \u00een\u0163eleag\u0103 c\u0103 nu tot ce zboar\u0103 se m\u0103n\u00e2nc\u0103, \u015fi c\u0103 lumea e plin\u0103 de oameni r\u0103i care \u015ftiu s\u0103 se prefac\u0103 de minune. Dac\u0103 mi-a\u015f fi ascultat intui\u0163ia \u015fi p\u0103rin\u0163ii, cele de mai sus nu s-ar fi \u00eent\u00e2mplat.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Cu respect,\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>X.&#8221;<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>***<\/p>\n<p>Drag\u0103 X,<\/p>\n<p>Se nume\u015fte post traumatic stress disorder. Defini\u0163ia din dic\u0163ionar se potrive\u015fte la virgul\u0103 cu ceea ce descrii tu: &#8220;a condition of persistent mental and emotional stress occurring as a result of injury or severe psychological shock, typically involving disturbance of sleep and constant vivid recall of the experience, with dulled responses to others and to the outside world.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>S-ar putea s\u0103 ai nevoie de terapie profesional\u0103. S\u0103 ie\u015fi mintal din punctul \u00een care \u00ee\u0163i repe\u0163i \u00een loop experien\u0163a sinistr\u0103 de la hotel \u015fi \u00eentre timp, ui\u0163i s\u0103 tr\u0103ie\u015fti ziua de azi.<\/p>\n<p>\u0102la e un monstru de om. Cei care-\u0163i spun c\u0103 te iubea ar trebui pocni\u0163i peste bot cu un bocanc de munte, cu cuie \u00een talp\u0103. \u0102la se iubea doar pe sine \u015fi egoul lui a suferit o lovitur\u0103 teribil\u0103 c\u00e2nd l-ai respins. De aceea ai \u015fi asistat la o criz\u0103 de narcisism.<\/p>\n<p>\u0102la trebuia p\u0103r\u0103sit dup\u0103 faza \u00een care a urlat la tine trei ore s\u0103-\u021bi strici o prietenie, \u0219i ulterior a pretins c\u0103 tu ai luat decizia. Genul de rahat cu ochi care insist\u0103 interminabil s\u0103 faci o chestie pe care nu vrei s-o faci, dup\u0103 care spune c\u0103 tu ai ales trebuie trimis \u00een mor\u0163ii lui de la primele abateri, c\u0103 iat\u0103. Treaba nu poate merge dec\u00e2t spre mai r\u0103u.<\/p>\n<p>Acum, c\u0103 am elucidat asta, am ni\u015fte curiozit\u0103\u0163i \u015fi la adresa ta:<\/p>\n<p>Altfel, cum pana mea s\u0103 te duci la mare cu unul pe care tocmai l-ai anun\u021bat c\u0103 \u00eel p\u0103r\u0103se\u0219ti??? \u015etiind exact cu ce categorie de om ai de a face??? Eu cu unul ca \u0103sta nu m-a\u015f duce nici la Mega Image din col\u0163.<\/p>\n<p>Nu \u021bi-era clar c\u0103 acolo, la mare, \u00ee\u0219i va da arama pe fa\u021b\u0103 full effect? Adic\u0103 mie, acum, mi-e clar. Poate, la 20 de ani, nu mi-ar fi fost nici mie. Ba da, mi-ar fi fost. Eram proast\u0103 \u00een multe privin\u0163e la 20 de ani, dar chiar \u015fi atunci, dac\u0103 unul \u00ee\u015fi ar\u0103ta col\u0163ii, idila se \u00eencheia instant \u015fi f\u0103r\u0103 alte discu\u0163ii.<\/p>\n<p>\u0102la \u015fi-a permis s\u0103 fac\u0103 ditamai num\u0103rul pentru c\u0103 \u015fi tu declarai verbal c\u0103 pleci, apoi veneai dup\u0103 el ca un c\u0103\u0163el cuminte, gata s\u0103 ling\u0103 talpa care-l love\u015fte. Asum\u0103-\u0163i partea ta de responsabilitate \u00een faptul c\u0103 ai ajuns acolo. Poate va ajuta la vindecare. Nu va fi ceva \u201ece \u021bi-a f\u0103cut el\u201d, ci consecin\u021ba unor alegeri eronate din partea ta.<\/p>\n<p>Dar, \u00eentr-adev\u0103r, modul \u00een care sunt crescute fetele rom\u00e2nce, &#8220;s\u0103 fie cumin\u0163i&#8221; \u015fi &#8220;s\u0103 asculte&#8221; le transform\u0103 \u00een victimele perfecte pentru rela\u0163ii abuzive fizic \u015fi psihic.<\/p>\n<p>*<\/p>\n<p>Acum, p\u00e2n\u0103 te vei duce la un terapeut calificat, s\u0103-\u0163i tratezi stresul posttraumatic pe care eu pe acest blog \u015fi cu acest articol nu am cum s\u0103-l fac, hai s\u0103 facem un mic exerci\u0163iu.<\/p>\n<p>Imagineaz\u0103-te pe tine peste 50 de ani. C\u00e2nd o s\u0103 ai 70 \u015fi ceva.<\/p>\n<p>Ce vrei s\u0103 fie reprezentativ pentru via\u0163a ta, c\u00e2nd te ui\u0163i \u00een urm\u0103?<\/p>\n<p>Faptul c\u0103 ai fost un om puternic \u015fi liber, ai f\u0103cut tot ce ai vrut \u015fi ai tr\u0103it cum \u0163i-a pl\u0103cut?<\/p>\n<p>Sau faptul c\u0103 ai fost la un moment dat victima unui pxlifrici neinteresant, care nu poate \u0163ine gagicile conectate de el dec\u00e2t cu minciuni \u015fi teroare? C\u0103 uite, \u015fi pe tipa urm\u0103toare o trateaz\u0103 tot \u00eentr-o manier\u0103 toxic\u0103. \u00cen loc s\u0103 o fac\u0103 s\u0103 se simt\u0103 iubit\u0103 \u015fi protejat\u0103 &#8211; a\u015fa cum e tendin\u0163a unui tip normal &#8211; caut\u0103 s\u0103-i inspire fric\u0103 \u015fi gelozie min\u0163ind c\u0103 \u00eel cau\u0163i tu.<\/p>\n<p>Dac\u0103 preferi s\u0103 \u00ee\u0163i aminte\u015fti c\u0103 ai fost un om puternic \u015fi liber, atunci trebuie s\u0103 lucrezi \u00een direc\u0163ia asta.<\/p>\n<p>Altfel, o s\u0103 fii victim\u0103 profesionist\u0103, cum \u00eemi place mie s-o alint pe maic\u0103-mea, c\u00e2nd \u00eencepe iar cu &#8220;taic\u0103-tu a f\u0103cut \u015fi a dres&#8221;, de\u015fi e divor\u0163at\u0103 de el de 30 de ani, iar dup\u0103 divor\u0163, omul chiar nu i-a mai f\u0103cut \u015fi nu i-a mai dres nimic. (Ok, nu i-a pl\u0103tit pensie alimentar\u0103 pentru mine \u015fi fratele meu, dar e vina ei c\u0103 nu l-a dat \u00een judecat\u0103 s-o fac\u0103. Din pricina cre\u015fterii retardate de &#8220;femeie cuminte&#8221;. De ce s\u0103 stai s\u0103 te vaie\u0163i \u00een fiecare zi la vecine c\u0103 &#8220;uite, nenorocitul. tr\u0103ie\u015fte ca la 18 ani, \u00een timp ce eu cresc doar din banii mei doi copii&#8221; \u00een loc s\u0103-i fwoo\u0163i un proces care s\u0103-i reseteze \u0103luia mentalitatea despre lume \u015fi via\u0163\u0103?).<\/p>\n<p>OK, cert e c\u0103, de\u015fi a sc\u0103pat de bou de de trei decenii, maic\u0103-mea \u00eel bomb\u0103ne \u015fi acum de parc\u0103 ar fi divor\u0163at ieri. \u015ei eu \u00eei spun: &#8220;Mam\u0103, g\u00e2nde\u015fte-te c\u00e2t e de ridicol s\u0103-i dai unuia at\u00e2ta putere asupra ta&#8221;.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Cum adic\u0103?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Dac\u0103 tu, dup\u0103 30 de ani, \u00een continuare te fr\u0103m\u00e2n\u0163i legat de \u0163eapa emo\u0163ional\u0103 pe care ai luat-o cu unul, \u00eenseamn\u0103 c\u0103 e\u015fti \u00een puterea lui. Uite, eu nu \u00eemi amintesc cu cine flirtam acum cinci ani. Sincer \u015fi onest, nu mai \u0163in minte. \u015ei pe mine m-au p\u0103r\u0103sit unii, au \u00eencercat s\u0103 m\u0103 manipuleze unii (dar cu mine nu \u021bine, lol), au \u00eencercat s\u0103 m\u0103 intimideze unii (\u015fi \u015fi-au luat prompt o muyts\u0103 d\u00e2rz\u0103 \u015fi r\u0103muroas\u0103, urmat\u0103 de haisictir\u00eenmor\u021biit\u0103i), am spumegat de draci vreo dou\u0103 s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2ni, dup\u0103 care am trecut la ce m\u0103 interesa \u00een prezent.<\/p>\n<p>Ah, \u0219i un mic am\u0103nunt: Eu nu a\u015f fi dat block prietenilor lui. Le-a\u015f fi povestit episodul cu sechestrarea la hotel. S\u0103 \u0219tie lumea cu ce kkt cu ochi are de-a face, \u0219i s\u0103 interac\u021bioneze precaut cu el.<\/p>\n<p>Revenind la micul meu exerci\u021biu de perspectiv\u0103 de via\u0163\u0103: f\u0103-l\u00a0 asumat \u0219i cu hot\u0103r\u00e2rea s\u0103 alegi puterea. \u015ei nu-i da parodiei \u0103leia e\u015fuate de masculinitate timpul \u0219i energia ta, prin faptul c\u0103 te complaci s\u0103 retr\u0103ie\u015fti iar \u015fi iar frustrarea legat\u0103 de episoadele acelea.<\/p>\n<p>TRECUTUL A TRECUT \u015eI NU SE MAI \u00ceNTOARCE.<\/p>\n<p>Ziceai c\u0103 acum ai o via\u0163\u0103 bun\u0103, nu?<\/p>\n<p>ENJOY.<\/p>\n<p>***<\/p>\n<p>Dac\u0103 v-a pl\u0103cut acest text, sus\u0163ine\u0163i blogul cu o dona\u0163ie.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/paypal.me\/Trollywood\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-medium wp-image-14577\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea-300x300.jpg?resize=300%2C300\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=300%2C300&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=150%2C150&amp;ssl=1 150w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=768%2C768&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=160%2C160&amp;ssl=1 160w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=320%2C320&amp;ssl=1 320w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=184%2C184&amp;ssl=1 184w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=600%2C600&amp;ssl=1 600w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=100%2C100&amp;ssl=1 100w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?w=931&amp;ssl=1 931w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>***<br \/>\nVrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe <a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/lorenaalmighty\/\"><strong>Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe <strong><a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/lorenalupu\">Twitter<\/a><\/strong> \u015fi <strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/lorena.lup\/\">Instagram<\/a><\/strong>, subscribe pe <strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/channel\/UCCHBtHi6S2GlUFqETH70cjQ\">YouTube<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u015etiu, po\u015fta redac\u0163iei e \u00een ultima vreme \u00een fiecare zi, dar nu am ce face dac\u0103 primesc at\u00e2tea mailuri. Misiva de azi este: Bun\u0103,&#46;&#46;&#46;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":14729,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-20013","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/Love-Letter.jpg?fit=900%2C675&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20013","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=20013"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20013\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":26919,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20013\/revisions\/26919"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/14729"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=20013"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=20013"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=20013"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}