{"id":20174,"date":"2020-08-03T10:58:46","date_gmt":"2020-08-03T07:58:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=20174"},"modified":"2020-08-03T22:00:22","modified_gmt":"2020-08-03T19:00:22","slug":"posta-redactiei-adoptatorii-abuzivi","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/posta-redactiei-adoptatorii-abuzivi\/","title":{"rendered":"Po\u0219ta redac\u021biei: Adoptatorii abuzivi"},"content":{"rendered":"

Salut, bine a\u021bi venit la rubrica noastr\u0103 aproape zilnic\u0103, Po\u0219ta redac\u021biei. \u00cenainte era s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2nal\u0103, dar autoizolarea e ap\u0103s\u0103toare, mul\u021bi a\u021bi ales s\u0103 v\u0103 deschide\u021bi suflete\u0219te, iar eu salut c\u0103lduros acest lucru.<\/p>\n

Misiva de azi:<\/p>\n

\u00ce\u021bi scriu \u0219i eu povestea mea, referitor la rela\u021bia cu p\u0103rin\u021bii, c\u0103ci am v\u0103zut c\u0103 ai postat ceva legat de asta.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Eu am 24 de ani, vin dintr-o familie care nu a putut na\u0219te copii, ci i-a adoptat. Pe mine \u0219i pe frate-miu. Copil\u0103ria…nu mi-a lipsit nimic. Pe plan material. \u00cen schimb, sentimental, am lacune imeeeense. <\/strong><\/div>\n
Copil fiind, genera\u021bia ’90, cartea a fost sf\u00e2nta treime. Am fost tocat\u0103 pentru \u0219coal\u0103 cu cureaua, cu acele cozi s\u0103n\u0103toase de m\u0103tur\u0103 \u0219i ce le mai pica la m\u00e2n\u0103. B\u0103taie \u00een sensul c\u0103, dup\u0103 ce se termina partida, aveam nevoie de o baie fierbinte s\u0103 m\u0103 dezumflu sau f\u0103ceam niste atacuri de panic\u0103 de nici nu mai puteam s\u0103 vorbesc, eram \u00eentre con\u0219tien\u021b\u0103 \u0219i incon\u0219tien\u021b\u0103. <\/strong><\/div>\n
Vocabular infect, din partea am\u00e2ndurora. Cel mai tare doare c\u00e2nd \u021bi se spune c\u0103 “poate era mai bine dac\u0103 nu te luam” sau din partea “mamei” s\u0103 auzi gen “e\u0219ti o curv\u0103”. <\/strong><\/div>\n
Pe bune?! <\/strong><\/div>\n
Ce m\u0103 reprezint\u0103 pentru asemenea vorbe?! <\/strong><\/div>\n
Am \u00eenv\u0103\u021bat cu chiu cu vai, de fric\u0103. <\/strong><\/div>\n
Acas\u0103 tr\u0103iam \u00eentr-o teroare continu\u0103, s\u0103 nu cumva s\u0103 afle de 6-le \u0103la la rom\u00e2n\u0103, c\u0103 iar ma toac\u0103, ca pe vinetele de salat\u0103. Am terminat \u0219i \u0219coala, am luat \u0219i Bac-ul. \u00centr-un t\u00e2rziu, am cunoscut un b\u0103iat, dup\u0103 care am plecat la Bucure\u0219ti. <\/strong><\/div>\n
Mi-am l\u0103sat casa pentru c\u00e2teva luni \u00een urm\u0103. <\/strong><\/div>\n
Nu \u00eemi venea nici s\u0103 \u00eei sun, sau un am\u0103r\u00e2t de mesaj s\u0103 le dau. Nu puteam. Eram liber\u0103 \u00een sf\u00e2r\u0219it \u0219i teama cu care tr\u0103iam \u00eentr-un final disp\u0103ruse. <\/strong><\/div>\n
Am ajuns \u00eenapoi acas\u0103 cu el, iubitul meu. Ok, pentru c\u00e2teva zile. Mama e genul de femeie care sufer\u0103 de grandomanie \u0219i \u0219efie, \u0219i ce mai vrei tu. <\/strong><\/div>\n
Noi suntem pe post de animale, cam a\u0219a ni se vorbe\u0219te. \u0218i mai ales lui frate-miu, m-a uimit o vorb\u0103 azi, c\u0103 \u00eel trimisese s\u0103 \u00eei caute un c***t de<\/strong> pern\u0103 gonflabil\u0103, pe care copilul n-a g\u0103sit-o, \u0219i ea repede a s\u0103rit de c** \u00een sus c\u0103 “dac\u0103 te trimiteam dup\u0103 moarte, poate o g\u0103seai”. <\/strong><\/div>\n
P\u0103i ce mam\u0103 e asta, m\u0103? Cine ca mam\u0103 vreodat\u0103 \u00eei spune a\u0219a ceva copilului? Po\u021bi? Nope.\u00a0<\/strong><\/div>\n
Lorena, \u00ee\u021bi cer un sfat, te rog. M\u0103 consum.<\/strong><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
X.\u00a0<\/strong><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
***<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Drag\u0103 X,<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Ai fi uimit\u0103 c\u00e2te mame vorbesc absolut oribil \u0219i crud copiilor, mai ales cele din genera\u021bii mai vechi, care i-au f\u0103cut din presiune social\u0103, de gura lumii, de decretul lui Ceau\u0219escu \u0219i a\u0219a mai departe.<\/div>\n
Multe secole, societatea le-a impus cu cruzime \u0219i lips\u0103 de empatie femeilor obliga\u021bia de a f\u0103ta cu tot dinadinsul, la v\u00e2rste la care ele \u00eense\u0219i erau copii, \u0219i de aici \u0219i ranchiuna \u0219i violen\u021ba matern\u0103 fa\u021b\u0103 de povara nedorit\u0103. I finally got it, m-am pus \u00een situa\u021bie \u0219i a\u0219a am reu\u0219it s-o iert pe mama, de exemplu.<\/div>\n
De aceea o s\u0103 vezi \u00een sec\u021biunea de comentarii puhoi de “s\u0103 nu-\u0163i judeci mama” de la cucoane mai \u00een v\u00e2rst\u0103. Ele au trecut prin asta, Au renun\u0163at la vie\u0163i personale, tinere\u0163e \u015fi ambi\u0163ii c\u0103 le-a zis societatea c\u0103 trebuie musai s\u0103 stea la crati\u0163\u0103 \u015fi s\u0103 fete, iar vocea con\u015ftiin\u0163ei care murmur\u0103 “Trec anii pe l\u00e2ng\u0103 tine, Vasilico, iar tu n-ai tr\u0103it nici o zi din via\u0163a ta” e ucig\u0103toare.<\/div>\n
\u015ei colac peste pup\u0103z\u0103, s\u0103 le spun\u0103 cineva c\u0103 au fost mame groaznice, lipsite de cea mai elementar\u0103 abilitate de a sus\u0163ine dezvoltarea unui om?<\/div>\n
\u0162eapa e dubl\u0103: nici n-au tr\u0103it, nici n-au ajutat pe altcineva s\u0103 tr\u0103iasc\u0103.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
*<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
OK, acum c\u0103 \u0163i-am calmat frustrarea legat\u0103 de “o mam\u0103 adev\u0103rat\u0103 n-ar face asta”, hai s\u0103 intr\u0103m \u00een miezul problemei.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Nu po\u0163i schimba trecutul, dar po\u0163i schimba prezentul. \u015ei anume, s\u0103 nu mai tolerezi nici o secund\u0103 atitudine lipsit\u0103 de respect \u015fi injurii de la individ\u0103. Nu, n-a obligat-o nimeni s\u0103 te adopte, te-a adoptat c-a vrut. A ales s\u0103 ia pe m\u00e2n\u0103 destinul unui om, nu \u015fi-a cump\u0103rat sac de box de la Decathlon.<\/div>\n
Asta e o responsabilitate nobil\u0103.<\/div>\n
Dac\u0103 nu po\u0163i avea grij\u0103 de copii dec\u00e2t cu atitudinea c\u0103 m\u0103rea\u0163a ta p***d\u0103 face o uria\u015f\u0103 favoare, poate c\u0103 a \u015ftiut Dumnezeu ce a \u015ftiut c\u00e2nd te-a creat stearp\u0103. (Dac\u0103 i-o dai pe asta, o love\u015fti direct \u00een plex.)<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Ideea e c\u0103 oamenii de genul \u0103sta, toxici p\u00e2n\u0103-n m\u0103duv\u0103, trebuie pu\u015fi la punct ferm. Confrunta\u0163i. Nu trebuie evitat conflictul cu ei, c\u0103 exact pe asta se bazeaz\u0103. Pe faptul c\u0103 r\u0103utatea lor inspir\u0103 panic\u0103, oamenii stau ghiocel \u00een fa\u0163a lor, \u015fi atunci ei \u00eei h\u0103r\u0163uiesc dup\u0103 pofta inimii.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Pe mecanismul \u0103sta se construiesc toate regimurile totalitare \u015fi toate dictaturile. Setea de putere \u015fi control a unui om, care vampirizeaz\u0103 individualitatea \u015fi voin\u0163a de sine st\u0103t\u0103toare din restul.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Tu po\u0163i s\u0103 rupi rela\u0163ia definitiv. E\u015fti mare, e\u015fti adult\u0103, po\u0163i g\u0103si un job care s\u0103-\u0163i permit\u0103 o chirie, \u015fi po\u0163i g\u0103si un terapeut bun care s\u0103 te ajute s\u0103 ie\u015fi din traumele copil\u0103riei.<\/div>\n
Problema e cu copilul.<\/div>\n
Cred c\u0103 o po\u0163i amenin\u0163a c\u0103 o reclami la Protec\u0163ia Copilului \u015fi s\u0103 o pui la punct de c\u00e2te ori se poart\u0103 oribil. Iar pe el s\u0103-l \u00eencurajezi c\u0103 lucrurile nu vor r\u0103m\u00e2ne a\u015fa \u00eentotdeauna \u015fi c\u0103 de la un punct \u00eencolo, va fi liber la r\u00e2ndul lui. Sun\u0103-l zilnic, ofer\u0103-i iubire, sus\u0163inere \u015fi \u00eencurajare.<\/div>\n
Dac\u0103 erai mai matur\u0103 \u015fi mai pe picioarele tale, sugeram s\u0103 \u00eel iei cu tine la Bucure\u015fti, dar educa\u0163ia \u015fi nevoile unui copil sunt exorbitante. Poate p\u00e2n\u0103 ajunge la liceu, te redresezi \u015fi tu financiar \u015fi o convinge\u0163i pe harpie c\u0103 liceele din Bucure\u015fti ofer\u0103 mai multe oportunit\u0103\u0163i profesionale.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Problema sistemului rom\u00e2nesc e c\u0103, oric\u00e2t de nebun\u0103 \u015fi de rea e aceast\u0103 femeie, nu se compar\u0103 cu umilin\u0163a \u015fi lipsurile casei de copii. Iar tu e\u015fti \u00eenc\u0103 mic\u0103 \u015fi rela\u0163ia ta cu b\u0103iatul \u0103la are doar c\u00e2teva luni, n-o po\u0163i \u00eenc\u0103rca brusc cu responsabilitatea unui copil care trebuie \u00eentre\u0163inut, hr\u0103nit, \u00eembr\u0103cat \u015fi controlat la teme \u00een fiecare zi.<\/div>\n

***<\/p>\n

Dac\u0103 v-a pl\u0103cut acest text, pute\u021bi fi sus\u021bin\u0103tori de n\u0103dejde.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

***
\nVrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe Twitter<\/a><\/strong> \u015fi Instagram<\/a><\/strong>, subscribe pe YouTube<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

Ascult\u0103 Jet pe Spotify<\/a><\/strong>, cump\u0103r\u0103 piesa pe iTunes<\/strong><\/a> sau pe Amazon Music<\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Salut, bine a\u021bi venit la rubrica noastr\u0103 aproape zilnic\u0103, Po\u0219ta redac\u021biei. \u00cenainte era s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2nal\u0103, dar autoizolarea e ap\u0103s\u0103toare, mul\u021bi a\u021bi ales s\u0103 v\u0103 deschide\u021bi...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":16132,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-20174","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/11\/eye.jpg?fit=640%2C360&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20174","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=20174"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20174\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":20179,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20174\/revisions\/20179"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/16132"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=20174"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=20174"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=20174"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}