\nAm v\u0103zut c\u0103 din ce \u00een ce mai mul\u0163i cititori \u00ee\u0163i scriu legat de problemele lor de familie.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n
Treaba e evolutiv\u0103. Acum dou\u0103 s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2ni, \u00eemi scria toat\u0103 lumea de b\u0103rba\u0163i. Dar pute\u0163i s\u0103-mi scrie\u0163i despre absolut orice v\u0103 fr\u0103m\u00e2nt\u0103. birou@lorenalupu.com e receptacul cald \u015fi umed pentru mailurile voastre.<\/p>\n
Pe scurt, de\u015fi au fost \u015fi p\u0103r\u0163i bune \u00een copil\u0103ria mea, au fost destule cazuri de certuri \u00eentre ai mei, care m-au traumatizat. Pe l\u00e2ng\u0103 asta, tata are obiceiul ca,\u00a0 atunci c\u00e2nd \u00eel sup\u0103r\u0103 ceva, s\u0103 nu mai vorbeasc\u0103 deloc cu persoana respectiv\u0103 o anumit\u0103 perioad\u0103 de timp, chiar \u015fi o lun\u0103 sau mai mult. C\u00e2t timp am fost mic\u0103, am \u00eencercat s\u0103 m\u0103 adaptez dinamicii \u0103steia. Acum, \u00eens\u0103, am 27 de ani \u015fi locuiesc singur\u0103 de c\u00e2teva luni, \u015fi dup\u0103 \u00eenc\u0103 un episod de genul. am realizat c\u0103 nu mai vreau s\u0103 fac parte din dinamica asta. Pe scurt, am decis c\u0103 nu mai vreau s\u0103 vorbesc eu cu el de data asta, p\u00e2n\u0103 c\u00e2nd nu \u00eenva\u0163\u0103 s\u0103 m\u0103 respecte (pentru c\u0103 eu consider atitudinea asta o lips\u0103 de respect, mai ales la adresa mea ca adult).<\/strong><\/p>\n \u00cens\u0103 nu \u015ftiu dac\u0103 asta este o solu\u0163ie pe termen lung, dac\u0103 el va \u00een\u0163elege ceva din asta,\u00a0 sau dac\u0103 vom relua leg\u0103tura la un moment dat. \u015ei habar nu am cum s\u0103 manageriez situa\u0163ia momentan. Ce \u015ftiu este c\u0103 acum m\u0103 simt bine a\u015fa \u015fi nu simt c\u0103 \u00eemi lipse\u015fte nimic. Tu cum ai reu\u015fit s\u0103 reiei leg\u0103tura cu mama ta dup\u0103 ce nu a\u0163i mai vorbit? Orice idee ar fi util\u0103 \u015fi apreciat\u0103. \ud83d\ude42<\/strong><\/p>\n Mul\u0163umesc!<\/strong><\/p>\n Sent from Yahoo Mail on Android<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Drag\u0103 Sent from Yahoo Mail on Android,<\/p>\n Prev\u0103d c\u0103 iar o s\u0103 curg\u0103 basculante de hate de la reprezentan\u0163ii cultului “Indiferent ce au f\u0103cut p\u0103rin\u0163ii, trebuie s\u0103 le lingi t\u0103lpile”, dar you know what? Brandul Lorena Lupu se bazeaz\u0103 pe adev\u0103ruri incomode, iar cui nu-i convine, s\u0103 nu citeasc\u0103.<\/p>\n Taic\u0103-tu are un obicei extrem de prost, numit silent treatment. \u015ei exist\u0103 dou\u0103 tipuri de silent treatment. Cel pe care-l practic eu, c\u00e2nd v\u0103d c\u0103 cineva e definitiv \u015fi irevocabil idiot \/ idioat\u0103, toxic \/ toxic\u0103 sau o combina\u0163ie a acestor dou\u0103 magnifice calit\u0103\u0163i. Dar din punctul meu de vedere, silent treatment e c\u00e2nd chiar te bag \u00een p***\u0103 de mum\u0103 \u015fi nu mai vreau s\u0103 am de a face cu tine sub nici o form\u0103.<\/p>\n Apoi, exist\u0103 indivizii care bag\u0103 silent treatment cu persoane la care de fapt \u0163in, \u015fi care nu le gre\u015fesc cu nimic, dintr-o form\u0103 pervers\u0103 de narcisism, s\u0103-\u0163i impun\u0103 ideea c\u0103 trebuie s\u0103 faci sluj \u015fi s\u0103 te miloge\u015fti pentru aten\u0163ia lor\u00a0 \u015fi s\u0103 se umfle \u00een pene cu “uite cum m\u0103 curteaz\u0103 lumea”. \u015ei taic\u0103-tu mi se pare din aceast\u0103 categorie. Da, corect, e o lips\u0103 cras\u0103 de respect.<\/p>\n Aici o s\u0103 sar\u0103 iar membrii sectei “Indiferent ce au\u00a0 f\u0103cut p\u0103rin\u0163ii” s\u0103 \u0163ipe: “Ceeee, dar de ce s\u0103 te respecte p\u0103rin\u0163ii pe tine!??”. C\u0103 na, \u0103\u015ftia folosesc mereu multe semne de \u00eentrebare \u015fi exclama\u0163ie, supracompenseaz\u0103.<\/p>\n Un om nu poate fi adult func\u0163ional, apt de g\u00e2ndire critic\u0103 \u015fi decizii de sine st\u0103t\u0103toare f\u0103r\u0103 un raport de respect reciproc cu cei din jur. \u015ei da, cei din jur includ \u015fi p\u0103rin\u0163ii. Dac\u0103 ai 30 de ani \u015fi \u00eenc\u0103 pretinde m\u0103-ta s\u0103 ia decizii \u00een numele t\u0103u, maturizarea ta einexistent\u0103. \u015ei da, unde p\u0103rin\u0163ii nu pornesc de la premisa de respect fa\u0163\u0103 de individualitatea copilului, acest respect trebuie negociat, \u015fi dac\u0103 negocierile nu merg, nu e nici o problem\u0103 ca rela\u0163iile s\u0103 se suspende un an, doi, zece, p\u00e2n\u0103 c\u00e2nd p\u0103rintele proceseaz\u0103 c\u0103 vrei respect \u015fi drept la propriile decizii \u015fi obligi la luarea la cuno\u015ftin\u0163\u0103 a faptului c\u0103 e\u015fti adult.<\/p>\n Acum, cu harpiile care se joac\u0103 de-a silent treatment cu persoane care nu merit\u0103 asta, cea mai bun\u0103 solu\u0163ie e exact ce ai f\u0103cut\u00a0 tu. Silent treatment right back at cha, ferm \u015fi f\u0103r\u0103 “aoleu, dar vai, \u015fi totu\u015fi, oioioi”, p\u00e2n\u0103 c\u00e2nd cel care ini\u0163iaz\u0103 silent treatment te caut\u0103 personal \u015fi-\u015fi cere scuze.<\/p>\n Nu ai de ce s-o faci tu, c\u0103 nu tu ai ini\u0163iat dinamica. Tu erai un copil dulce care se voia iubit.<\/p>\n Esen\u0163ial e, c\u00e2nd intri \u00een jocul \u0103sta de-a silent treatment \u00eenapoi, s\u0103 nu te clinte\u015fti \u015fi s\u0103 nu ezi\u0163i.<\/strong><\/p>\n Spre deosebire de tine, care ai \u00een natura ta tendin\u0163a de a oferi iubire oamenilor dragi, indivizii care practic\u0103 regulat silent treatment bazat pe hachi\u0163e au antrenament\u00a0 \u015fi sunt ai naibii de buni la asta, a\u015fa c\u0103 trebuie s\u0103 te ambi\u0163ionezi, nu glum\u0103, s\u0103-i ba\u0163i la propriul joc. Dar merit\u0103.<\/p>\n Eu, una, sunt \u00een acel punct din via\u0163a mea \u00een care prefer s\u0103 m\u0103 lipsesc de toxicitate cu totul, dec\u00e2t s\u0103 \u00eendur tratament nepotrivit de la cineva. Vreau respect \u015fi apreciere, fac multe s\u0103 le merit, ofer respect \u015fi apreciere cui le merit\u0103, cine poate s\u0103 intre \u00een hora asta \u00een care ne ridic\u0103m \u015fi cre\u015ftem \u00eempreun\u0103 e binevenit, cine nu, haipa, haimar\u015f, hailarevedere.<\/p>\n Deci, ai tem\u0103 de la sora ta internautic\u0103 Lorena s\u0103 nu-l mai suni pe taic\u0103-tu deloc, nici de s\u0103rb\u0103tori, nici de ziua lui, nimic, p\u00e2n\u0103 c\u00e2nd nu te caut\u0103 el primul cu creanga de m\u0103slin \u00een cioc \u015fi cu o atitudine de “ok, hai s\u0103 vorbim”.<\/p>\n Dac\u0103 vin al\u0163ii s\u0103-\u0163i repro\u015feze, spune-le “nu fac dec\u00e2t ce mi-a f\u0103cut el \u015fi chiar v\u0103 rog s\u0103-i transmite\u0163i via radio \u015fan\u0163 c\u0103 p\u00e2n\u0103 nu \u00ee\u015fi cere scuze pentru tot silent treatmentul nemeritat \u015fi lipsa de respect, nu vom vorbi!. Dac\u0103 \u00eencep s\u0103 te certe, tai macaroana: “Aceste obiec\u0163ii se aduc ini\u0163iatorului, nu mie. Alt\u0103 \u00eentrebare.”<\/p>\n Hang in there, f\u0103-l s\u0103 simt\u0103 cum e s\u0103 fii la recep\u0163ie la silent treatment, pentru c\u0103 are nevoie de aceast\u0103 lec\u0163ie de via\u0163\u0103.<\/p>\n Cum m-am \u00eemp\u0103cat cu mama? Au diagnosticat-o cu hipotiroidism \u015fi a fost o perioad\u0103 \u00een care nu se g\u0103sea Euthyrox \u00een farmacii, \u00een Sf\u00e2ntu Gheorghe. M-a sunat \u015fi pe un ton perfect normal, de parc\u0103 nimic nu se \u00eent\u00e2mplase, m-a \u00eentrebat dac\u0103 pot s\u0103 fac rost.<\/p>\n \u015ei ni\u015fte cititoare farmaciste mi-au f\u0103cut cadou trei cutii de Euthyrox, pe care eu le-am trimis la Sf\u00e2ntu Gheorghe, \u015fi de atunci, atitudinea ei fa\u0163\u0103 de mine s-a schimbat cu 100%, de la copilul cu care practic se \u015ftergea la c*r, pe care nu \u00eel credita cu nimic \u015fi la care \u0163ipa de diminea\u0163a p\u00e2n\u0103 seara la omul pe care \u015ftie c\u0103 \u00eel poate pierde extrem de u\u015for dac\u0103 nu-l pre\u0163uie\u015fte.<\/p>\n De c\u00e2nd func\u0163ioneaz\u0103 dinamica asta \u00eentre noi, rela\u0163ia e irepro\u015fabil\u0103 de ambele p\u0103r\u0163i. Pentru c\u0103, a\u015fa cum probabil e\u015fti \u015fi tu: noi putem s\u0103 fim buni, tandri, iubitori \u015fi tot tac\u00e2mul. Numai c\u0103 ne-am s\u0103turat s\u0103 ne ia oamenii for granted \u015fi s\u0103 se serveasc\u0103 din noi la discre\u0163ie, apoi s\u0103 recompenseze cu ignorol forte c\u00e2nd avem noi nevoie de ei.<\/p>\n Sper c\u0103 \u0163i-am fost util\u0103,<\/p>\n Lorena.<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n Dac\u0103 v-a pl\u0103cut acest text, pute\u021bi fi sus\u021bin\u0103tori de n\u0103dejde.<\/p>\n *** ***<\/p>\n Ascult\u0103 Jet pe Spotify<\/a><\/strong>, cump\u0103r\u0103 piesa pe iTunes<\/strong><\/a> sau pe Amazon Music<\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Salutare, popor, aceasta este rubrica noastr\u0103 ini\u0163ial s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2nal\u0103 \u015fi \u00een ultima vreme aproape zilnic\u0103, numit\u0103 po\u015fta redac\u0163iei, unde voi v\u0103 v\u0103rsa\u0163i oful, iar eu...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":17129,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-20181","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/posta.png?fit=1041%2C541&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20181","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=20181"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20181\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":20185,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20181\/revisions\/20185"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/17129"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=20181"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=20181"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=20181"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}![\"\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea-300x300.jpg?resize=300%2C300\")
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\nVrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe Twitter<\/a><\/strong> \u015fi Instagram<\/a><\/strong>, subscribe pe YouTube<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n