{"id":20264,"date":"2020-10-30T11:21:10","date_gmt":"2020-10-30T08:21:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=20264"},"modified":"2020-10-30T11:21:46","modified_gmt":"2020-10-30T08:21:46","slug":"de-ce-divorturile-sunt-de-fapt-un-lucru-foarte-bun","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/de-ce-divorturile-sunt-de-fapt-un-lucru-foarte-bun\/","title":{"rendered":"De ce divor\u0163urile sunt de fapt un lucru foarte bun"},"content":{"rendered":"

Mai aud periodic prin jur sau citesc pe social media discu\u0163ii: Vai, drag\u0103, dar pe vremea mea nu erau at\u00e2tea divor\u0163uri. Corect, pe vremea ta erai victima propriului c\u0103min, abia \u00eendr\u0103zneai s\u0103 te mi\u015fti s\u0103 nu \u00eencasezi o b\u0103taie, \u015fi a\u015fteptai s\u0103 vezi dac\u0103 moare cel\u0103lalt primul \u015fi te bucuri de ni\u015fte libertate la v\u00e2rsta a treia, sau mori tu \u015fi scapi.
\nB\u0103rbatul \u00ee\u015fi b\u0103tea nevasta, nevasta b\u0103tea copiii, copiii mai mari \u00eei b\u0103teau pe cei mai mici \u015fi cam a\u015fa se perpetua toxicitatea \u00een societate.<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

Problema cu ideea de familie b\u0103gat\u0103 cu sila pe g\u00e2tul cuiva\u00a0 e a\u015fa: c\u00e2nd doi oameni se iubesc, se respect\u0103 reciproc \u015fi au grij\u0103 unul de cel\u0103lalt, e extraordinar.<\/p>\n

Dar \u00een foarte multe cazuri, iubirea adev\u0103rat\u0103\u00a0 nu apare p\u00e2n\u0103 la v\u00e2rsta social acceptabil\u0103 pentru c\u0103s\u0103torie, \u015fi oamenii “\u00ee\u015fi caut\u0103 pe cineva”. Adic\u0103 o persoan\u0103 de care nu \u00eei leag\u0103 o conexiune emo\u0163ional\u0103 real\u0103, ci doar nevoia de a bifa partea cu “r\u00e2ndul lumii”. Se mai nimeresc \u015fi cazuri c\u00e2nd\u00a0 fie el, fie ea, e o jigodie toxic\u0103 \u015fi asupritoare, \u015fi atunci condamni un om nevinovat la o via\u0163\u0103 de chin. Apoi, mai sunt \u015fi situa\u0163iile c\u00e2nd \u015fi el, \u015fi ea sunt ok lua\u0163i separat, dar vor lucruri complet diferite de la vie\u0163ile lor \u015fi fiecare sper\u0103 c\u0103 \u00eel va face pe cel\u0103lalt s\u0103 se schimbe, \u015fi oamenii ajung s\u0103 se frustreze reciproc \u00eengrozitor.<\/p>\n

\u015ei mai e un lucru: omul care \u00ee\u0163i face hormonii s\u0103 trop\u0103ie la 20 de ani nu e neap\u0103rat omul care te va str\u00e2nge cald la pieptul lui c\u00e2nd ai o problem\u0103 la 40. \u015ei nu neap\u0103rat pentru c\u0103 \u0103la de la 20 e de obicei 99% farmec \u015fi 1% substan\u0163\u0103 – de\u015fi poate fi \u015fi asta o problem\u0103 – ci \u015fi pentru c\u0103 tu, la 20 te mul\u0163ume\u015fti s\u0103 \u00eempar\u0163i cu iubi o mansard\u0103 \u00een care picur\u0103 apa c\u00e2nd plou\u0103 \u015fi un bucket de la KFC, \u015fi zici c\u0103 ai iubirea perfect\u0103, pe c\u00e2nd la 40 ai nevoi de confort mai complexe \u015fi mai evoluate, \u015fi \u00ee\u0163i trebuie un om care s\u0103 \u00een\u0163eleag\u0103, nu unul care s\u0103 vrea neap\u0103rat s\u0103 se impun\u0103.<\/p>\n

\u015ei prin acest tu m\u0103 refer \u015fi la b\u0103rba\u0163i, \u015fi la femei.<\/p>\n

\u00cenainte ca societatea s\u0103 accepte divor\u0163ul ca pe o finalitate practic\u0103 \u015fi ra\u0163ional\u0103 a unui travaliu conjugal f\u0103r\u0103 solu\u0163ii, via\u0163a unui partener ajuns victim\u0103 a capriciilor \u015fi impulsurilor celuilalt era definitiv compromis\u0103. \u015ei strict pentru c\u0103 averea \u015fi influen\u0163a erau \u00een m\u00e2na b\u0103rbatului, victimele erau femeile. \u00cenainte s\u0103 sar\u0103 gigel s\u0103 rag\u0103 c\u0103 feminism, c\u0103 nu to\u0163i b\u0103rba\u0163ii \u015fi etc.: cred sincer c\u0103, invers, dac\u0103 averea \u015fi influen\u0163a ar fi fost istoric \u00een m\u00e2na femeii, b\u0103rba\u0163ii ar \u00eendura la fel de mult abuz cum au \u00eendurat femeile.<\/strong> \u0162ine de circumstan\u0163\u0103 cine se nimere\u015fte s\u0103 fie c\u0103l\u0103ul \u015fi cine victima. Pentru c\u0103 javrele, fie b\u0103rba\u0163i, fie femei, dau de putere \u015fi \u00eencep instant s\u0103 abuzeze de ea.<\/p>\n

Nu cred c\u0103, \u00een esen\u0163a lor, femeile ar fi oameni mai buni dec\u00e2t b\u0103rba\u0163ii. Pur \u015fi simplu, au avut o pozi\u0163ie social\u0103 vulnerabil\u0103. De aceea e important ca, prin legi, s\u0103 nu permitem niciunuia dintre sexe s\u0103 \u00eel acapareze pe cel\u0103lalt. \u015ei, tot prin legi, s\u0103 permitem o ie\u015fire sigur\u0103 dintr-o situa\u0163ie \u00een care \u00eemp\u0103carea nu este posibil\u0103.<\/p>\n

\u00cen genera\u0163iile de dinaintea noastr\u0103, empatia fa\u0163\u0103 de femeia b\u0103tut\u0103 \u015fi abuzat\u0103 nu exista. P\u0103rin\u0163ii, rudele, societatea, o trimiteau \u00eenapoi la b\u0103rbatul care o abuza \u015fi de care era dependent\u0103 economic. Ru\u015finea, ce vor zice oamenii, nimeni din neamul nostru n-a divor\u0163at erau mai importante.
\n\u015ei dac\u0103 mo\u015fii aveau aceast\u0103 fraternitate cu abuzatorul, \u00een cazul babelor era vorba de sadism pur. Ce, eu am stat o via\u0163\u0103 \u00eentreag\u0103 s\u0103 m\u0103 bat\u0103 Vasile \u015fi tu s\u0103 scapi mai ieftin \u015fi s\u0103-mi dovede\u015fti c\u0103 am fost o dobitoac\u0103? No way. Mar\u015f \u00eenapoi la mardeia\u015f.<\/p>\n

\u015ei acesta e primul meu argument \u00een favoarea divor\u0163ului. C\u0103 \u00eentrerupe un ciclu al abuzurilor. Un mecanism al toxicit\u0103\u0163ii care se hr\u0103ne\u015fte pe sine.<\/p>\n

Dar e \u015fi situa\u0163ia c\u00e2nd oamenii nu se ur\u0103sc cu sete. C\u00e2nd, pur \u015fi simplu, unul dintre ei este profund nefericit cu toate op\u0163iunile de via\u0163\u0103 ale celuilalt.<\/p>\n

Din nou: via\u0163a e prea scurt\u0103 s\u0103 ne facem unii pe al\u0163ii neferici\u0163i. Undeva, afar\u0103, exist\u0103 \u015fi fericirea potrivit\u0103 pentru noi. Trebuie doar s-o identific\u0103m ca atare. Iar modul adecvat de a face asta este prin a ne elibera de nefericirea prezentului.<\/p>\n

Faptul c\u0103 oamenii divor\u0163eaz\u0103 mi se pare un semn de racordare la propriile nevoi \u015fi asumare a propriilor e\u015fecuri. De ce s\u0103 nu-\u0163i oferi \u015fi \u0163ie, \u015fi celuilalt, o nou\u0103 \u015fans\u0103 la fericire?<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

Dac\u0103 \u0163i-a pl\u0103cut acest articol, sus\u0163ine site-ul cu o dona\u0163ie.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

***
\nVrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe\u00a0Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe\u00a0Twitter<\/a><\/strong>\u00a0\u015fi\u00a0Instagram<\/a><\/strong>, subscribe pe\u00a0YouTube<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

Ascult\u0103 Jet pe\u00a0Spotify<\/a><\/strong>, cump\u0103r\u0103 piesa pe\u00a0iTunes<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0sau pe\u00a0Amazon Music<\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Mai aud periodic prin jur sau citesc pe social media discu\u0163ii: Vai, drag\u0103, dar pe vremea mea nu erau at\u00e2tea divor\u0163uri. Corect, pe vremea...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":20669,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-20264","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/divorce.jpg?fit=640%2C426&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20264","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=20264"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20264\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":20670,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20264\/revisions\/20670"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/20669"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=20264"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=20264"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=20264"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}