{"id":20320,"date":"2020-08-28T09:44:34","date_gmt":"2020-08-28T06:44:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=20320"},"modified":"2020-08-28T09:44:34","modified_gmt":"2020-08-28T06:44:34","slug":"ce-inseamna-sa-te-iubesti-pe-tine-insuti","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/ce-inseamna-sa-te-iubesti-pe-tine-insuti\/","title":{"rendered":"Ce \u00eenseamn\u0103 s\u0103 te iube\u015fti pe tine \u00eensu\u0163i?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>An scris s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2na trecut\u0103\u00a0 un status.<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" style=\"border: none; overflow: hidden;\" src=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/plugins\/post.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Florenaalmighty%2Fposts%2F1491171497757562&amp;show_text=true&amp;width=552&amp;appId=437636339989685&amp;height=187\" width=\"552\" height=\"187\" frameborder=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>A intervenit prompt cineva &#8211; femeie, desigur &#8211; cu contesta\u0163ia:<\/p>\n<p><strong>Am \u015fi eu o \u00eentrebare poate destul de stupid\u0103&#8230; Ce \u00eenseamn\u0103 a te iubi pe tine? C\u0103 mie, sincer, \u00eemi sun\u0103 narcisist \u015fi egoist. A te respecta pe tine \u00een\u0163eleg, dar a te iubi&#8230;<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>E acest lucru extrem de gre\u015fit \u00een educa\u0163ia rom\u00e2ncelor noastre. Faptul c\u0103 iubirea fa\u0163\u0103 de propria persoan\u0103 e automat un lucru gre\u015fit, c\u0103 e un semn de narcisism, egoism, \u015fi a\u015fa mai departe.<\/p>\n<p>C\u00e2t timp locul femeii era numai la crati\u0163\u0103, \u015fi toat\u0103 via\u0163a ei \u00eensemna munc\u0103 gratuit\u0103 \u015fi nerecompensat\u0103 \u00een folosul familiei, al b\u0103rbatului, apoi al copiilor, apoi al nepo\u0163ilor, era esen\u0163ial\u0103 eradicarea oric\u0103rei urme vagi de individualism \u015fi de con\u015ftientizare a propriului interes. Pentru c\u0103 nici un om con\u015ftient de valoarea, interesele \u015fi nevoile lui nu putea fi slug\u0103rit gratis ani, \u015fi ani. \u015fi ani \u00een \u015fir.<\/p>\n<p>Exista vreo form\u0103 de fericire \u00een toate astea? Probabil c\u0103, prin iubirea fa\u0163\u0103 de copii, da. Dar eu iau b\u0103taia crunt\u0103 cu care mamele de odinioar\u0103 se desc\u0103rcau pe progeniturile lor adorate mai degrab\u0103 ca pe o expresie a unor frustr\u0103ri fa\u0163\u0103 de via\u0163a compus\u0103 numai din renun\u0163\u0103ri, servitudine \u015fi zero \u0163eluri personale. Auzeai muieri declar\u00e2nd &#8220;eu sacrific totul pentru familia mea&#8221;, dar la partea de recep\u0163ie, acest &#8220;totul&#8221; era format din crize de nervi, palme la orice gest interpretat drept nesupunere, refuz de a lua la cuno\u015ftin\u0163\u0103 nevoile copilului &#8211; pentru c\u0103 nici nevoile mamei respective nu le luase la cuno\u015ftin\u0163\u0103 nimeni, iar \u0103ia care \u00eencaseaz\u0103 extrem de mul\u0163i &#8220;nu&#8221; tind s\u0103 dea \u00eenapoi universului tot at\u00e2\u0163ia &#8220;nu&#8221;.<\/p>\n<p>C\u00e2nd nu \u00eenve\u0163i s\u0103 te iube\u015fti pe tine, nu \u00eenve\u0163i s\u0103 iube\u015fti cu adev\u0103rat pe nimeni.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dar ce \u00eenseamn\u0103 a te iubi pe tine?\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>\u00cen primul r\u00e2nd, \u00eenseamn\u0103 <strong>a te respecta<\/strong>. A te pre\u0163ui just, prin prisma a cine e\u015fti \u015fi a ce \u015ftii s\u0103 faci. A \u00ee\u0163i cunoa\u015fte valoarea, respectiv modul \u00een care po\u0163i face o schimbare pozitiv\u0103 \u00een lume. A \u015fti exact care sunt atuurile tale, a \u015fti care sunt domeniile \u00een care excelezi \u015fi a \u015fti exact ce po\u0163i s\u0103 oferi.<\/p>\n<p><strong>A te iubi implic\u0103 abilitatea de a evolua.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Odat\u0103 ce \u00ee\u0163i \u015ftii toate calit\u0103\u0163ile, \u00ee\u0163i po\u0163i evalua just \u015fi punctele slabe, la care mai ai de lucrat.<\/p>\n<p>\u015ei aici, diferen\u0163a \u00eentre un om care nu se iube\u015fte \u015fi unul care se apreciaz\u0103 cu adev\u0103rat e urm\u0103toarea:<\/p>\n<p>Omul care nu se iube\u015fte d\u0103 de matematici superioare. Aoleu, vai-vai-vai, sunt prost, nu o s\u0103 fiu niciodat\u0103 \u00een stare s\u0103 \u00eenv\u0103\u0163 chestia asta. \u015ei tot a\u015fa patru ore de v\u0103ic\u0103reli pentru oricine vrea s\u0103 asculte.<\/p>\n<p>Omul care se iube\u015fte zice: B\u0103, dac\u0103 al\u0163ii au putut, pot \u015fi eu.<\/p>\n<p>\u015ei recite\u015fte teorema de x ori, \u00eencepe s\u0103 studieze algorirmul de solu\u0163ionare a problemei, cu interes sincer \u015fi voin\u0163\u0103 de a se perfec\u0163iona. \u015ei \u00ceI IESE.<\/p>\n<p>Pentru c\u0103 dac\u0103 te iube\u015fti, crezi \u00een tine suficient \u00eenc\u00e2t s\u0103 \u00ee\u0163i duci treburile la bun sf\u00e2r\u015fit.<\/p>\n<p><strong>A te iubi implic\u0103 abilitatea de a \u00een\u0163elege modurile \u00een care e\u015fti diferit.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Mai ales c\u00e2nd e\u015fti femeie, familia, vecinii, cunoscu\u0163ii \u015fi orice gigel random de pe pagina ta de internet \u00ee\u0163i spun cum trebuie s\u0103 te m\u0103ri\u0163i, s\u0103 faci copii \u015fi a\u015fa mai departe. Presiunea social\u0103 e cov\u00e2r\u015fitoare.<\/p>\n<p>Pe c\u00e2nd realitatea e c\u0103 foarte multe NU NE DORIM acel full time job nepl\u0103tit care e via\u0163a \u00een cuplu cu copii. Nu vrem asta, nu ne potrivim pentru asta, simpla idee ne d\u0103 cringe \u015fi ne place foarte mult singur\u0103tatea, mul\u0163umim mult.<\/p>\n<p>Dar \u015fi c\u00e2nd e\u015fti b\u0103rbat, societatea te f la cap, c\u0103 trebuie s\u0103 \u00ee\u0163i inhibi sensibilitatea, s\u0103 nu recuno\u015fti c\u00e2nd nu te pricepi (iar rezultatul sunt boii \u0103ia extrem de hazlii din sec\u0163iunea de comentarii, care peroreaz\u0103 ignoran\u0163e pe un ton extrem de arogant), s\u0103 fii fruntea crea\u0163iei, s\u0103 repari chiuvete (chiar dac\u0103 tu nu ai dexteritate \u015fi mai mult strici) \u015fi s\u0103 nu te vopse\u015fti, chit c\u0103 \u00ee\u0163i displace culoarea ta natural\u0103.<\/p>\n<p>By the way, parantez\u0103: am v\u0103zut \u00een ora\u015f pancartele cu Nicu\u015for. Castaniul \u0103la ciocolat\u0103 \u00een care e vopsit &#8211; \u015fi e vopsit de un coafor care se pricepe, se vede din calitatea \u015fi uniformitatea finisajului &#8211; \u00eel avantajeaz\u0103 mult mai mult dec\u00e2t culoarea nisipului cu care l-a \u00eenzestrat mama natur\u0103. Consilierul de imagine care l-a trimis la salon merit\u0103 un bonus.<\/p>\n<p>Revenind: a te iubi implic\u0103 a nu \u00ee\u0163i nega \u0163ie \u00eensu\u0163i \/ \u00eens\u0103\u0163i modurile \u00een care nu e\u015fti ca restul lumii. A avea puterea interioar\u0103 s\u0103 te accep\u0163i \u015fi s\u0103 te asumi.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dar nu toat\u0103 lumea se accept\u0103? <\/strong>o\u00a0s\u0103 comenteze aici un gigel perfect satisf\u0103cut de sine.<\/p>\n<p>Ohoho, gigele, dac\u0103 ai \u015fti c\u00e2\u0163i oameni \u00ee\u015fi dau pumni pe interior la orice or\u0103 din zi \u015fi din noapte s\u0103 \u00ee\u015fi anihileze alteritatea \u015fi s\u0103 c\u00e2\u015ftige aprobarea celor din jur.<\/p>\n<p>\u015ei de ce o fac?<\/p>\n<p>Exact din absen\u0163a iubirii de sine.<\/p>\n<p><strong>S\u0103 te iube\u015fti pe tine \u00eenseamn\u0103 s\u0103 faci pace cu toate vocile interne care \u0163ip\u0103 c\u0103 vor altceva \u015fi s\u0103 g\u0103se\u015fti exact forma de fericire potrivit\u0103 pentru tine.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Adeseori, forma asta de fericire nu coincide cu ceea ce spune societatea c\u0103 e a\u015fteptat de la un b\u0103rbat \/ o femeie \/ orice altceva \u00eentre. Dar, \u00een momentul \u00een care tu te iube\u015fti, po\u0163i da off butonului &#8220;ce spune lumea&#8221; \u015fi on butonului &#8220;de ce am nevoie eu&#8221;.<\/p>\n<p><strong>S\u0103 te iube\u015fti pe tine \u00eenseamn\u0103 s\u0103 \u015ftii cum s\u0103 oferi iubire celor din jur.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Revenim la exemplul m\u0103micii care &#8220;se sacrific\u0103&#8221;, nu \u00ee\u015fi ofer\u0103 pic de iubire \u015fi aten\u0163ie sie\u015fi, prin urmare, nu ofer\u0103 pic de iubire \u015fi tandre\u0163e nim\u0103nui. Prin &#8220;tot ce am sacrificat&#8221;, ea se refer\u0103 la oportunit\u0103\u0163ile de carier\u0103, bani, c\u0103l\u0103torii, etc. pe care le-a ratat pentru a fi mam\u0103 eroin\u0103, dar \u00een realitatea\u00a0 copilului e doar aceast\u0103 harpie nesuferit\u0103 care are perpetuu ceva de repro\u015fat, sau vreun motiv de a zbiera ca nebuna, sau de a \u00eei arde un dos de palm\u0103 pentru cea mai mic\u0103 manifestare de independen\u0163\u0103, pentru c\u0103 \u00een sinea ei, sentimentul predominant e frustrarea fa\u0163\u0103 de tot ce a ratat.<\/p>\n<p>Ea nu se iube\u015fte pe sine, dar nu \u00eel iube\u015fte nici pe el. E o fiin\u0163\u0103 mutilat\u0103 emo\u0163ional care transmite mai departe, prin educa\u0163ia frustr\u0103rii \u015fi a respingerii, aceast\u0103 mutilare emo\u0163ional\u0103.<\/p>\n<p>\u00cen schimb, o femeie care se iube\u015fte pe sine \u00ee\u015fi asum\u0103 c\u0103 nu vrea \u015fi nu are nimic valid de oferit unui copil \u00een acel moment. \u00ce\u015fi c\u00e2\u015ftig\u0103 banii, \u00ee\u015fi tr\u0103ie\u015fte via\u0163a, c\u0103l\u0103tore\u015fte peste tot unde \u015fi-a dorit, iar dup\u0103 ce \u00ee\u015fi face plinul de experien\u0163e interesante, nevoia de a te lini\u015fti \u015fi de a te a\u015feza vine natural.<\/p>\n<p>Dar nu e o regul\u0103. Uite, var\u0103-mea \u015fi-a dorit copii de c\u00e2nd era ea \u00eens\u0103\u015fi copil. A r\u0103mas gravid\u0103 la 19 ani, a n\u0103scut la 20. Lumea \u00eei \u0163inea predici contrare: De ce a\u015fa devreme?<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Pentru c\u0103 asta vreau!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Ea nu are sentimentul imensului sacrificiu, pentru c\u0103 face exact ceea ce \u015fi-a dorit de mic\u0103 s\u0103 fac\u0103. Cre\u015fte copilul pe care a visat s\u0103-l aib\u0103. \u015ei e \u015fi asta o form\u0103 a iubirii de sine. Pentru c\u0103 fata a \u00een\u0163eles care sunt resorturile propriei fericiri \u015fi a ac\u0163ionat \u00een sensul corespunz\u0103tor.<\/p>\n<p>Pentru c\u0103, drag\u0103 cititorime:<\/p>\n<p><strong>A te iubi pe tine implic\u0103 a fi dispus s\u0103 munce\u015fti \u015fi s\u0103 participi activ la propria fericire.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>A\u015fa cum multe femei nu au orgasm din simplul motiv c\u0103, oric\u00e2t de me\u015fte\u015fugit le-ar penetra \u0103la, dac\u0103 stai ca vaca pe paji\u015fte sim\u0163i mult mai pu\u0163in dec\u00e2t dac\u0103 dai \u015fi tu contre, multe femei &#8211; \u015fi mul\u0163i b\u0103rba\u0163i &#8211; nu sunt ferici\u0163i, dar e mereu vina altuia.<\/p>\n<p>Partenerul prost ales, dar pe care nu-l p\u0103r\u0103sesc.<\/p>\n<p>Mai grav, partenerul bine ales, c\u0103ruia \u00eei pas\u0103, dar cu care sunt incapabili s\u0103 comunice eficient: femeile, pentru c\u0103 sunt setate pe negativism, \u015fi b\u0103rba\u0163ii, pentru c\u0103 sunt seta\u0163i pe autoritarism. Oric\u00e2t de mult te iube\u015fte un om, c\u00e2nd tu te vaie\u0163i obositor sau \u00eel iri\u0163i cu verdicte \u015fi porunci zi de zi, la un moment dat o s\u0103-\u015fi bage p \u015fi o s\u0103 renun\u0163e.<\/p>\n<p>Realitatea e c\u0103 fericirea e o stare activ\u0103 &#8211; nu degeaba \u015fi endorfina e secretat\u0103 taman \u00een timpul activit\u0103\u0163ii fizice intense &#8211; \u015fi de aceea \u00eei ocole\u015fte pe cei stagnan\u0163i. Stagnan\u0163i fizic, stagnan\u0163i mintal \u015fi stagnan\u0163i emo\u0163ional.<\/p>\n<p>\u015ei last, but not least:<\/p>\n<p><strong>A te iubi pe tine \u00eenseamn\u0103 s\u0103 nu te la\u015fi afectat de dezaprobarea, ura, uneltirile altora.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>C\u00e2nd nu e\u015fti sigur pe tine, at\u00e2rni dup\u0103 al\u0163ii \u015fi te temi perpetuu c\u0103 \u00ee\u015fi vor retrage aprobarea. Te macin\u0103 intens \u00eentrebarea dac\u0103 te mai plac \u015fi azi.<\/p>\n<p>C\u00e2nd tu te placi, \u015fi te placi pe motive bine \u00eentemeiate, ce cred al\u0163ii e 100% problemu\u0163a lor \u015fi \u0163i-e simplu s\u0103 selectezi prostovanii \u015fi tic\u0103lo\u015fii cu care nu vrei s\u0103 ai de-a face, pentru c\u0103 timpul t\u0103u e valoros pentru tine. Vezi dincolo de fente \u015fi pretexte, \u015fi te prinzi care sunt motiva\u0163iile reale ale unui anumit comportament, \u015fi \u00een m\u0103sura \u00een care aceste motiva\u0163ii nu \u00ee\u0163i sunt potrivite \u015fi \u0163ie, \u0163i-e simplu s\u0103 pui stop anumitor conexiuni \u015fi s\u0103 investe\u015fti timp \u015fi energie \u00een altele. Cele \u00een care vezi c\u0103 exist\u0103 poten\u0163ial pozitiv.<\/p>\n<p>Av\u00e2nd \u00een vedere toate acestea, v\u0103\u00a0 doresc s\u0103 v\u0103 pute\u0163i iubi a\u015fa cum merita\u0163i.<\/p>\n<p>***<\/p>\n<p>***<\/p>\n<p>Dac\u0103 v-a pl\u0103cut acest text, pute\u021bi sus\u0163ine activitatea siteului cu o dona\u0163ie.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/paypal.me\/Trollywood\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-medium wp-image-14577\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea-300x300.jpg?resize=300%2C300\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=300%2C300&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=150%2C150&amp;ssl=1 150w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=768%2C768&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=160%2C160&amp;ssl=1 160w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=320%2C320&amp;ssl=1 320w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=184%2C184&amp;ssl=1 184w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=600%2C600&amp;ssl=1 600w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?resize=100%2C100&amp;ssl=1 100w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea.jpg?w=931&amp;ssl=1 931w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>***<br \/>\nVrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe <a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/lorenaalmighty\/\"><strong>Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe <strong><a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/lorenalupu\">Twitter<\/a><\/strong> \u015fi <strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/lorena.lup\/\">Instagram<\/a><\/strong>, subscribe pe <strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/channel\/UCCHBtHi6S2GlUFqETH70cjQ\">YouTube<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>***<\/p>\n<p>Ascult\u0103 Jet pe <strong><a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/album\/3ahSP7bHbzcKsWtGDdzRLK\">Spotify<\/a><\/strong>, cump\u0103r\u0103 piesa pe <a href=\"https:\/\/music.apple.com\/album\/id\/1497428911\"><strong>iTunes<\/strong><\/a> sau pe <a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Jet\/dp\/B084DZ4W5J\"><strong>Amazon Music<\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>An scris s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2na trecut\u0103\u00a0 un status. &nbsp; A intervenit prompt cineva &#8211; femeie, desigur &#8211; cu contesta\u0163ia: Am \u015fi eu o \u00eentrebare poate destul&#46;&#46;&#46;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":20323,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-20320","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/08\/dans.jpg?fit=640%2C426&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20320","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=20320"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20320\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":20329,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20320\/revisions\/20329"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/20323"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=20320"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=20320"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=20320"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}