Sunt o fan\u0103 veche a ta \u0219i \u00eemi place maxim cu c\u00e2t bun-sim\u021b \u0219i discern\u0103m\u00e2nt r\u0103spunzi problemelor pe care le prime\u0219ti de la cititori, a\u0219a c\u0103 mi-am f\u0103cut curaj s\u0103 \u00ee\u021bi scriu \u0219i eu.<\/strong><\/p>\n Evident, problema are leg\u0103tur\u0103 cu amorul. Sau mai bine spus, cu acel zombie f\u0103r\u0103 creier \u00een care se transform\u0103 amorul care a murit de o moarte ur\u00e2t\u0103. Long story short, c\u0103s\u0103torita fiind de mul\u021bi ani (dar nu nefericit\u0103, ci doar rutinat\u0103) am avut, cu acordul \u0219i \u0219tiin\u021ba so\u021bului, o rela\u021bie extraconjugal\u0103 cu un tip. Eram atras\u0103 de el, iar el era atras de mine, sau mai bine spus, era atras mai ales de faptul c\u0103 eram foarte disponibil\u0103 erotic pentru el, chiar dac\u0103 era, s\u0103 zicem, atipic in materie de feti\u0219uri \u0219i performan\u021b\u0103. <\/strong><\/p>\n (Aici \u0219i eu, \u0219i cititorimea suntem ca pe ace: Ce f\u0103cea? Lorena.)<\/p>\n Da, nu o s\u0103 mint, dup\u0103 un timp m\u0103 \u00eendr\u0103gostisem de el,ceea ce am comunicat deschis \u0219i lui \u0219i so\u021bului, ca stare de fapt, nu cu inten\u021bia de a for\u021ba lucrurile \u00een vreo direc\u021bie.<\/strong><\/p>\n Rela\u021bia a mers o perioad\u0103 pe baza chimiei dintre noi, p\u00e2n\u0103 ce nu a mai mers. So\u021bul nu mai accepta situa\u021bia \u0219i suferea, iar amantul suferea \u0219i el pentru c\u0103 ajunsese s\u0103 vrea mai mult dec\u00e2t eram eu dispus\u0103 s\u0103 \u00eei dau f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 \u00eemi neglijez so\u021bul, munca sau familia. <\/strong><\/p>\n Am avut o perioad\u0103 foarte grea, \u00een care eram sf\u00e2\u0219iat\u0103 \u00eentre cei doi, ambii pres\u00e2ndu-m\u0103 f\u0103r\u0103 mil\u0103 s\u0103 renun\u021b la cel\u0103lalt. \u0218i da, la un moment dat, m-am g\u00e2ndit serios la posibilitatea de a m\u0103 desp\u0103r\u021bi de so\u021b, s\u0103 \u00eencerc o rela\u021bie cu amantul. Momentul a fost scurt, pentru c\u0103 sunt destul de b\u0103tr\u00e2n\u0103 s\u0103 \u0219tiu c\u00e2nd o rela\u021bie nu ar putea s\u0103 func\u021bioneze pe termen lung \u0219i c\u0103, de fapt, nu vreau absolut deloc s\u0103 m\u0103 despart de so\u021b, pe care \u00eel iubesc \u0219i cu care fac echip\u0103 bun\u0103 de 20+ ani.<\/strong><\/p>\n I-am comunicat asta amantului \u0219i i-am spus c\u0103 trebuie s\u0103 \u00eencheiem rela\u021bia amoroas\u0103, oferindu-i prietenia mea, dac\u0103 o dore\u0219te. Nu a primit deloc bine decizia mea \u0219i mi-a impus, ca un soi de compensa\u021bie pentru c\u0103 nu r\u0103m\u00e2n cu el, s\u0103 continu\u0103m rela\u021bia fizic\u0103 p\u00e2n\u0103 \u00ee\u0219i g\u0103se\u0219te pe altcineva. Mi-a explicat c\u0103 am un fel de obliga\u021bie moral\u0103 fa\u021b\u0103 de el s\u0103 continui s\u0103 \u00eei ofer sex la discre\u021bie pentru c\u0103 l-am am\u0103git, zicea el, f\u0103c\u00e2ndu-l s\u0103 creada ca voi renun\u021ba la so\u021b pentru el.<\/strong><\/p>\n Am refuzat s\u0103 continui rela\u021bia sexual\u0103 pentru c\u0103, sincer, raportul nostru devenise prea toxic. Efectiv, toat\u0103 chimia noastr\u0103 se transformase \u00een ceva ur\u00e2t care ne otr\u0103vea pe am\u00e2ndoi. V\u0103z\u00e2nd c\u0103 eu sunt ferm\u0103 pe pozi\u021bia de a nu mai continua rela\u021bia fizic\u0103, omul a reac\u021bionat ur\u00e2t de tot, m-a amenin\u021bat c\u0103 se va r\u0103zbuna distrug\u00e2ndu-mi via\u021ba, a disp\u0103rut \u0219i m-a blocat peste tot. <\/strong><\/p>\n Am aflat ulterior c\u0103 m\u0103 porc\u0103ie\u0219te zilnic, de luni de zile, pe profilul lui public \u0219i, \u00een privat, la urechea oricui st\u0103 s\u0103-l asculte, acuz\u00e2ndu-m\u0103 de manipulare \u0219i abuz emo\u021bional. Nu spune numele meu, c\u0103 \u0219tie c\u0103 risc\u0103 repercusiuni legale, dar porc\u0103ielile lui sunt destul de sub\u021bire voalate. Eu nu mi-am permis vreodat\u0103 s\u0103 \u00eel vorbesc de r\u0103u \u00een public \u0219i sincer, mi se pare ridicol \u0219i sinistru \u00een acela\u0219i timp patosul cu care m\u0103 demonizeaz\u0103. \u00cen\u021beleg c\u0103 a suferit mult \u0219i c\u0103, probabil, asta este modalitatea prin care \u00eencearc\u0103 el s\u0103 se vindece de inima fr\u00e2nt\u0103, dar tot mi se pare jenant \u0219i infantil.<\/strong><\/p>\n \u00cen fine, am c\u00e2teva \u00eentreb\u0103ri: am fost eu oare manipulatoare? Am procedat ca un b\u0103rbat porc care \u0219i-a dus de nas amanta ani \u00een \u0219ir (de\u0219i au fost doar doi)? Aveam eu obliga\u021bia s\u0103 \u00eei asigur por\u021bia de sex p\u00e2n\u0103 \u00ee\u0219i g\u0103se\u0219te pe alta doar pentru c\u0103, la un moment dat, i-am spus c\u0103 vom fi \u00eempreun\u0103, crez\u00e2nd \u0219i eu asta, \u0219i apoi m-am r\u0103zg\u00e2ndit? Ah, \u0219i cred c\u0103 e important s\u0103 men\u021bionez c\u0103, at\u00e2t \u00een rela\u021bia mea marital\u0103, c\u00e2t \u0219i \u00een cea extraconjugal\u0103, eu \u00eemi achit nota la restaurant, hotel, excursie, cadouri etc. Asta ca s\u0103 nu existe dubii \u00een leg\u0103tur\u0103 cu motiva\u021biile mele.<\/strong><\/p>\n \u00ce\u021bi mul\u021bumesc pentru timp, efort \u0219i<\/strong> onestitate.<\/strong><\/p>\n X.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n Drag\u0103 X.,<\/p>\n Singura persoan\u0103 cu care ai fost porc e so\u021bul. E de porc s\u0103 \u00een\u0219eli, c\u00e2nd ai promis “\u00eempreun\u0103 la bine \u015fi la r\u0103u”. Pe de alt\u0103 parte, e de \u00een\u0163eles ca dup\u0103 20 de ani de rela\u0163ie, s\u0103 \u0163i se fac\u0103 poft\u0103 de prosp\u0103tur\u0103. Ai fost porc \u00een limitele rezonabilului, adic\u0103 i-ai spus exact ce se \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103, nu l-ai min\u0163it, nu l-ai dus de nas. Poate c\u0103, \u00een 20 de ani, \u015fi el a mai dat una scurt\u0103 pe lateral, dar a omis s\u0103 te notifice. Faptul c\u0103 nu s-a scandalizat din prima, ci doar c\u00e2nd a v\u0103zut c\u0103 idila se lunge\u015fte \u015fi se aprofundeaz\u0103, m\u0103 las\u0103 s\u0103 cred asta.<\/p>\n Cu dobitocul cel\u0103lalt, nu ai fost porc, ci g\u0103in\u0103. De la bun \u00eenceput, individul \u015ftia c\u0103 e\u015fti m\u0103ritat\u0103 \u015fi c\u0103 ai o rela\u0163ie solid\u0103 cu omul. De la bun \u00eenceput, \u0163i-ai pl\u0103tit partea ta \u00een toate, s\u0103 nu \u00ee\u0163i poat\u0103 repro\u015fa nimic.<\/p>\n Apoi, a \u00eenceput s\u0103 insiste s\u0103 fi\u0163i \u00eempreun\u0103.<\/p>\n O gr\u0103mad\u0103 de adulterini r\u0103spund la genul \u0103sta de insisten\u0163e cu dada bine, sigur, c\u00e2nd vor de fapt doar s\u0103 scape de pis\u0103logeal\u0103. De aceea cred c\u0103 rela\u0163iile extraconjugale ar trebui ini\u0163iate doar cu formular la intrare:\u00a0Lua\u0163i la cuno\u015ftin\u0163\u0103 c\u0103 persoana de fa\u0163\u0103 are deja pe cineva acas\u0103 \u015fi ave\u0163i doar un raport de\u00a0 f buddies?\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n Cine bifeaz\u0103 nu, e condus cu respect la ie\u015fire.<\/p>\n Serios, chiar nu \u00een\u0163eleg genul care se f cu oameni c\u0103s\u0103tori\u0163i, apoi se d\u0103 cu partea dorsal\u0103 de sol c\u0103 vaivaivai, ce iubesc \u015fi ce suf\u0103r. Da, dac\u0103 omul a ascuns c\u0103 e c\u0103s\u0103torit \u015fi tu ai aflat dup\u0103 cinci luni \u00een care ai crezut c\u0103 e liber, e manipulare. Dac\u0103 \u015ftiai din start c\u0103 are verigheta pe deget, mar\u015f cu jeluiala.<\/p>\n Te po\u0163i a\u015ftepta firesc \u015fi natural s\u0103 r\u0103m\u00e2n\u0103 tot cu so\u0163ul \/ so\u0163ia, c\u0103 deja au traiul \u015fi tabieturile comune, \u015fi probabil o cas\u0103, o firm\u0103, un teren agricol etc. \u015fi nou\u0103 linguri, \u015fi n-o s\u0103 stea s\u0103 fac\u0103 partaj s\u00e2ngeros, s\u0103 rup\u0103 a noua lingur\u0103 \u00een dou\u0103 pentru arta ta de a da opturi din fese.<\/p>\n C\u00e2nd \u00eens\u0103 gigel \u0163i-a pretins s\u0103 livrezi sex \u00een continuare, c\u0103 ai avea vreo obliga\u0163ie moral\u0103, m-a bu\u015fit r\u00e2sul. E ca \u015fi cum tu ai avea un raport de sugar dating cu cineva, \u0103la decide s\u0103 renun\u0163e, dar tu \u00ee\u0163i vrei cecul \u00een continuare. E ca \u015fi cum tu \u00eemi donai pe blog, r\u0103m\u00e2i \u015fomer, dar eu \u0163i-a\u015f bate cu pumnul \u00een mas\u0103 s\u0103 \u00eemi donezi \u00een continuare. NU, FAT\u0102, NU AI NICI O OBLIGA\u0162IE MORAL\u0102 DE NICI O NATUR\u0102, \u015eI CU AT\u00c2T MAI PU\u0162IN SEXUAL\u0102.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n Numai un bou infinit \u015fi un dobitoc jenant, prost de d\u0103 \u00een gropi \u015fi \u0163\u0103ran misecuvenist coclit ar putea s\u0103 abereze a\u015fa ceva, iar \u00een secunda a doua m-a\u015f fi dus s\u0103 fac du\u015f de sc\u00e2rb\u0103 c\u0103 am introdus a\u015fa ceva \u00een vagin vreodat\u0103. Trebuia s\u0103\u00a0 dai tu block peste tot de cum auzeai oligofreneala asta sinistr\u0103. Obliga\u0163ie moral\u0103 s\u0103 ce?? S\u0103 faci sex cu el c\u00e2nd nu vrei? Nici m\u0103car \u00een c\u0103s\u0103torie nu exist\u0103. Dac\u0103 nu vrei \u015fi so\u0163ul insist\u0103, se nume\u015fte viol marital.<\/p>\n Ce bou.<\/p>\n Ce bou odios.<\/p>\n Felicit\u0103-te c\u0103 ai sc\u0103pat de el.<\/p>\n Iar legat de distrugerea vie\u0163ii \u015fi de v\u0103ic\u0103reala interminabil\u0103, de parc\u0103 ar fi o g\u00e2sculi\u0163\u0103 de 14 ani la prima dragoste, din nou. \u015etiu, m\u0103 repet.<\/p>\n Ce bou.<\/p>\n Ce bou odios.<\/p>\n Felicit\u0103-te c\u0103 ai sc\u0103pat de el.<\/p>\n Un b\u0103rbat care nu \u015ftie s\u0103 se despart\u0103 cu demnitate \u015fi respect de o femeie pe care se presupune c\u0103 a iubit-o odat\u0103, sau, mai grav, miorl\u0103ie c\u0103 o iube\u015fte \u015fi acum, nu e b\u0103rbat, ci doar o c\u00e2rp\u0103 dotat\u0103 accidental cu buletin. Chiar recomand consecin\u0163e legale, dac\u0103 auzi numele t\u0103u rostit undeva, pentru c\u0103 genul \u0103sta de gunoi uman merit\u0103 pocnit peste bot repetat p\u00e2n\u0103 se potole\u015fte.<\/p>\n Obliga\u0163ie moral\u0103 s\u0103 asiguri sex, pfff. Faza asta m-a triggerit grav. “Da’ s-o f ap\u0103sat pe m\u0103-ta \u00een c nu am obliga\u0163ie moral\u0103?” trebuia s\u0103 \u00eentrebi tu. “S\u0103 m\u0103 p pe toate mormintele familiei tale nu am obliga\u0163ie moral\u0103?” (De\u015fi e un exerci\u0163iu dificil de control al uretrei p\u00e2n\u0103 fugi de la un morm\u00e2nt la altul, iar dac\u0103 sunt \u00een cimitire diferite, e un adev\u0103rat tur de for\u0163\u0103.)<\/p>\n D\u0103-l \u00een plm de ratat. Bucur\u0103-te c\u0103 te-ai \u00eentors la b\u0103rbatul potrivit – da, lui \u00eei datorezi scuze – \u015fi f\u0103-\u0163i autocritica doar pe motiv c\u0103 i-ai oferit unui jeg ca \u0103la doi ani din timpul t\u0103u. Odat\u0103 ce a intervenit rutina, prev\u0103d c\u0103 o s\u0103 mai c\u0103lca\u0163i str\u00e2mb, c\u0103 doar oameni sunte\u0163i, nu \u00eengeri, dar barem alege \u015fi tu persoane de calitate.<\/p>\n Sper c\u0103 \u0163i-am fost util\u0103,<\/p>\n Lorena.<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n Dac\u0103 v-a pl\u0103cut acest text, pute\u021bi sus\u0163ine activitatea siteului cu o dona\u0163ie.<\/p>\n *** ***<\/p>\n Ascult\u0103 Jet pe Spotify<\/a><\/strong>, cump\u0103r\u0103 piesa pe iTunes<\/strong><\/a> sau pe Amazon Music<\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Bine a\u021bi venit la rubrica noastr\u0103 cotidian\u0103, Po\u0219ta redac\u021biei. Unde cititorii \u00ee\u0219i descriu problemele, iar noi g\u0103sim solu\u021bii. \u00cenainte era s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2nal\u0103, acum aproape zilnic\u0103,...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":20018,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-20337","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/mailbox-507594_640.jpg?fit=640%2C426&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20337","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=20337"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20337\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":20338,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20337\/revisions\/20338"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/20018"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=20337"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=20337"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=20337"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}![\"\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cafea-300x300.jpg?resize=300%2C300\")
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\nVrei s\u0103 m\u0103 urm\u0103re\u015fti \u00een social media? \u00cemi po\u0163i da like pe Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, follow pe Twitter<\/a><\/strong> \u015fi Instagram<\/a><\/strong>, subscribe pe YouTube<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n