{"id":20339,"date":"2020-09-02T09:32:11","date_gmt":"2020-09-02T06:32:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/?p=20339"},"modified":"2020-09-02T09:32:11","modified_gmt":"2020-09-02T06:32:11","slug":"mitul-barbatului-bleg","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/mitul-barbatului-bleg\/","title":{"rendered":"Mitul b\u0103rbatului bleg"},"content":{"rendered":"

De c\u00e2te ori \u00eemi trimite cineva o po\u0219t\u0103 a redac\u021biei despre o rela\u021bie extraconjugal\u0103, rubrica de comentarii devine o cocin\u0103 hidoas\u0103, care \u00eemi reaminte\u0219te ce popor eminamente agrar (aka, de \u021b\u0103rani cocli\u021bi cu mentalit\u0103\u021bi de ev mediu) suntem.<\/p>\n

De la demonizarea unui so\u021b care ar accepta o rela\u021bie extraconjugal\u0103 a so\u021biei \u0219i p\u00e2n\u0103 la ploaia de insulte la adresa ei (de\u0219i cazul era clar: peste 20 de ani de c\u0103s\u0103torie, te saturi de corpul celuilalt ca de mere p\u0103dure\u021be \u0219i v\u0103 sunte\u021bi mai mult neamuri dec\u00e2t parteneri de sex; \u0219i atunci, ea \u00eei spune lui, sincer, c\u0103 \u00ee\u0219i dore\u0219te o aventur\u0103 extraconjugal\u0103, iar el e de acord).<\/p>\n

Dar, pentru c\u0103 un text are un singur subiect, ne vom referi azi la mitul b\u0103rbatului bleg. Care “permite”. Care “d\u0103 voie”. Domne, eu nu a\u015f da voie.<\/p>\n

C\u00e2nd femeia e \u00een\u015felat\u0103, nimeni nu pune problema datului voii, pentru c\u0103 \u0163i-e clar c\u0103 o persoan\u0103 de 1.60, amatoare de Suleyman \u015fi de balade nu are cum s\u0103 re\u0163in\u0103 fizic un h\u0103ndr\u0103l\u0103u de 1.80 de la a se duce unde vor mu\u015fchii lui.<\/p>\n

P\u0103rerea asta de gorobete \u00eemb\u00e2csit de prejudicii mi-au trompe\u0163it-o \u015fi b\u0103rba\u0163ii, \u015fi femeile. C\u0103 b\u0103rbatul adev\u0103rat “nu d\u0103 voie” \u015fi cel care o face e “bleg” \u015fi “prost”.<\/p>\n

Dragi rom\u00e2ni,<\/p>\n

Intransigen\u0163a conjugal\u0103 care v\u0103 place vou\u0103 at\u00e2t de mult nu e b\u0103rb\u0103\u0163ie adev\u0103rat\u0103. \u015ei nu e iubire adev\u0103rat\u0103. E doar control \u015fi posesivitate. Iar c\u00e2nd trece dorin\u0163a sexual\u0103 reciproc\u0103 – dup\u0103 20 de ani, nu ai cum! – s\u0103 faci pe gigi duru legat de nevoile unei femei pe care nici tu nu mai \u0163ii neap\u0103rat s-o copulezi, pentru c\u0103 rela\u0163ia e mai degrab\u0103 una de bun\u0103 prietenie (\u00een cazurile fericite) e doar un semn de orgoliu prost \u00een\u0163eles \u015fi apuc\u0103turi de dictator domestic.<\/p>\n

De ce vi se pare un merit? Pentru c\u0103 v\u0103 place pumnul \u00een gur\u0103, \u015fi dac\u0103 vou\u0103 v\u0103 place, \u00eencerca\u0163i s\u0103-l impune\u0163i \u015fi altora.<\/p>\n

Eu am pierdut un num\u0103r mare de prieteni taman prin faptul c\u0103 nu \u00eencerc s\u0103 controlez, nu declar posesie \u015fi nu \u00eencerc s\u0103 micromanageriez. Frate, dac\u0103 mori de dorul meu, o s\u0103 mori de dorul meu anyway, iar dac\u0103 nu o faci, 4579 de telefoane \u015fi mesaje pe zi, \u015fi preten\u0163ia c\u0103 vreau s\u0103 \u015ftiu ce faci \u00een fiecare moment al zilei tale nu vor schimba acest lucru. \u015ei i-am pierdut pentru c\u0103 rom\u00e2na\u015ful nu e obi\u015fnuit cu tratament relaxat occidental, \u015fi \u00eel confund\u0103 cu lipsa de afec\u0163iune. El vrea dram\u0103 ca la televizor, milogeal\u0103, lacrimi, secre\u0163ii umede faciale, jur\u0103minte \u015fi delir. Iar eu chiar nu am timp de rahaturi de genul \u015fi nu-mi plac rela\u0163iile de tip full-time job, unde minimum opt ore pe zi ne teroriz\u0103m reciproc cu idio\u0163enii \u00een numele iubirii. De aceea \u015fi blochez rapid pe net pis\u0103logii agasan\u0163i de ambele sexe. Ia-\u0163i \u00een g\u00e2\u0163ii m\u0103-tii un terapeut bun \u015fi mut\u0103-\u0163i problemele psihice \u00een curtea lui.<\/p>\n

Iar ceea ce numi\u0163i voi “b\u0103rbat bleg” mie mi se pare b\u0103rbat \u00een\u0163elept care nu are impresia c\u0103 de\u0163ine pe al\u0163ii. Iubirea nu e totuna cu sexul. Se \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103 de at\u00e2tea ori s\u0103 vrei sex f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 te intereseze partea emo\u0163ional\u0103 \u015fi, viceversa, s\u0103 vrei s\u0103 atingi sufletul cuiva f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 \u0163ii neap\u0103rat s\u0103 transpui fizic treaba asta. Po\u0163i iubi un om, dar dup\u0103 20 de ani de c\u0103s\u0103torie, s\u0103 nu mai ai nici o chemare de natur\u0103 erotic\u0103. Dup\u0103 cum mi-a spus o prieten\u0103 dintr-un long term marriage: “E ca \u015fi cum \u0163i-ar da limbi taic\u0103-tu”. \u015ei de ce nu divor\u0163a\u0163i? “Pentru c\u0103 ne \u00een\u0163elegem de minune \u015fi facem echipa perfect\u0103 \u00eempreun\u0103. Pentru c\u0103 vorbim orice, ne ajut\u0103m cu orice \u015fi nu-mi pot imagina via\u0163a f\u0103r\u0103 el”.<\/p>\n

Faptul c\u0103 “b\u0103rbatul se satur\u0103 de ciorba de acas\u0103” e \u00een\u0163elepciune str\u0103mo\u015feasc\u0103 \u015fi li se recomand\u0103 femeilor \u00een\u0163elegere, “c\u0103 tot acas\u0103 se \u00eentoarce, drag\u0103”. Exact babele care \u00eel declar\u0103 bleg pe so\u0163ul din poveste sunt babele care, probabil, au sf\u0103tuit c\u00e2te o so\u0163ie t\u00e2n\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 mimeze c\u0103 n-a remarcat c\u0103 partenerul de via\u0163\u0103 f\u0103cea lugu-lugu \u015fi pe l\u00e2ng\u0103 altele.<\/p>\n

Femeile “nu se s\u0103turau de ciorba de acas\u0103” dintr-un singur motiv. Pentru c\u0103, tradi\u0163ional, nevoile lor sexuale erau neglijate. Erau \u00eendocrinate cu religie \u015fi negare de sine, erau for\u0163ate s\u0103 r\u0103m\u00e2n\u0103 virgine \u015fi s\u0103 nu-\u015fi descopere pl\u0103cerile \u015fi lucrurile care le fac s\u0103 vibreze pe interior,\u00a0 s\u0103 fac\u0103 sex cu c\u00e2t mai pu\u0163ini b\u0103rba\u0163i, \u015fi \u00een majoritatea cazurilor, doar cel care o lua \u00een proprietate – ne e clar, era un joc de noroc cu nenum\u0103rate \u015fanse de incompatibilitate – \u015fi, dup\u0103 na\u015fterea relativ timpurie a primului copil, s\u0103 fie mame eroine, virtuoase \u015fi evlavioase, \u015fi s\u0103 se \u00eembrace numai \u00een saci de p\u00e2nz\u0103 de la 30 de ani \u00een sus, unde nevoia lor sexual\u0103 era declarat\u0103 nul\u0103 \u015fi neglijabil\u0103.<\/p>\n

Multe nici nu descopereau extraordinara capacitate de pl\u0103cere care se ascundea \u00een regiunile lor sudice, pentru c\u0103 nimeni nu le \u00eencuraja \u00een acest sens. Modelul economic tradi\u0163ional era func\u0163ional doar dac\u0103 munca femeii era gratuit\u0103 \u015fi nonstop, \u015fi impus ca obliga\u0163ie aferent\u0103 sexului ei, iar accentul pe sex satisf\u0103c\u0103tor ar fi schimbat aceast\u0103 dinamic\u0103 de putere. De aceea, femeile care \u00ee\u015fi exprimau nevoile sexuale \u015fi alegeau s\u0103 le satisfac\u0103 erau considerate “c***e”.<\/p>\n

Taman de aceea v\u0103 spun: un b\u0103rbat care nu face pe zbirul cu o femeie \u00een etapa matur\u0103, rutinat\u0103, a unei rela\u0163ii, c\u00e2nd probabil c\u0103 \u015fi el marcheaz\u0103 discret \u00een deplasare e de fapt un b\u0103rbat rezonabil \u015fi respectuos, care \u00een\u0163elege c\u0103 nevoile femeii nu sunt cu nimic mai prejos dec\u00e2t ale lui.<\/p>\n

E singurul b\u0103rbat care m-ar mai interesa, \u00een acest punct al vie\u0163ii mele, c\u00e2nd nu am timp de investit dec\u00e2t \u00een lucruri \u015fi oameni care m\u0103 bucur\u0103 \u015fi care adaug\u0103 valoare respectivului timp. Pe gigeii satrapi care, pe l\u00e2ng\u0103 faptul c\u0103-\u0163i m\u0103n\u00e2nc\u0103 ciorba \u015fi calc\u0103 cu pantofii de afar\u0103 pe covorul pe care ai petrecut ore \u00een \u015fir s\u0103-l cure\u0163i, vin s\u0103-\u0163i fac\u0103 \u015fi reguli \u015fi obliga\u0163ii, n-ave\u0163i dec\u00e2t s\u0103-i \u0163ine\u0163i voi. S\u0103 v\u0103 sp\u0103la\u0163i pe cap cu ei \u015fi s\u0103-i l\u0103sa\u0163i s\u0103 v\u0103 bossuiasc\u0103 dup\u0103 pofta inimii. S\u0103-i slug\u0103ri\u0163i f\u0103r\u0103 “te rog frumos” \u015fi f\u0103r\u0103 “mul\u0163umesc” p\u00e2n\u0103 vi se acre\u015fte. Oilor.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

Dac\u0103 v-a pl\u0103cut acest text, pute\u021bi sus\u0163ine activitatea siteului cu o dona\u0163ie.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

***
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***<\/p>\n

Ascult\u0103 Jet pe Spotify<\/a><\/strong>, cump\u0103r\u0103 piesa pe iTunes<\/strong><\/a> sau pe Amazon Music<\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

De c\u00e2te ori \u00eemi trimite cineva o po\u0219t\u0103 a redac\u021biei despre o rela\u021bie extraconjugal\u0103, rubrica de comentarii devine o cocin\u0103 hidoas\u0103, care \u00eemi reaminte\u0219te...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":19100,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-20339","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spicy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/02\/oi.jpg?fit=640%2C480&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20339","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=20339"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20339\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":20340,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20339\/revisions\/20340"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/19100"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=20339"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=20339"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lorenalupu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=20339"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}